Note: This was a lot of fun to write and there may be more. Thanks to Sasha for giving me this prompt, it really did break my brain. Any random things you read in here may be a personal joke with my friend Heather (mainly some really cheesy dialogue in the second chapter and general wtf-ery). Enjoy!

Ever since I had become a vampire I'd been seeing the beauty in things I never noticed before. My awe at seeing Edward's real beauty was nothing compared to what I was seeing now. It was like the Grand Canyon – reddish tan and rocky to the point of danger. Well, maybe the Grand Canyon if it were wearing sunglasses. It took me another few minutes to start breathing again, I had to keep up the appearance of normality.

"Bella? Bella? Are you okay?" I heard Charlie asking. He hadn't moved an inch, which meant he was afraid of my non-human activity.

"Yes, yes I'm fine Char—Dad," I reassured him. "I just got a bit into the movie, that's all." We were watching some movie called Deal, I'd never heard of it, but Charlie said it was worth watching.

He gave me a sideways glance before redirecting his gaze to the movie we were watching. I tried to steady my breathing to match his and prepared for the most glorious man I'd ever seen to reappear on the screen. He entered from the right and he was like a god. I always compared Edward to an angel, so it would make sense that any god would be a million times better looking than him.

"Who is that Charlie?" I asked in my velvety smooth voice.

"I'm surprised you don't know who that is," he said scratching his head. "Or maybe not, you've never been one to watch too much tv. Its Burt Reynolds."

The name sent tingles all over my body. Burt Reynolds. His name sounded like lacy, gently wafting curtains. I could just imagine riding on a speedboat with that wonderful piece of leather. I started calculating in my mind how long it would take me to drive to LA. Did he even live in LA? Most actors did, so I guess he might.

Alice rushed into the room and said in a whisper that only I could hear, "Bella! You can't! What would Edward think? You absolutely can't!"

"Tell Edward I'm sorry," I whispered back before rushing out of the room. As I flew through the kitchen I grabbed the keys to my Ferrari. Before I knew it the car was speeding on the Highway towards California. The soft growl of the engine as I accelerated even faster was starting to wear on my nerves, so I turned on the radio, hoping for something to distract me during the trip.

"Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

We've know each other for so long
Your hearts been aching
But you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and were gonna play it"

By the second time the chorus rolled around I was singing right along with the radio. And to think that all this time I thought Edward's Lullaby was the best music I'd ever heard. I must have been kidding myself. Surely the god Burt Reynolds must have sent this song down from heaven to tell me that we belong together. As I raced down I-5 I had "Never Gonna Give You Up" running through my head and I knew I would never give up my dream of being with Burt Reynolds. I remembered how set against sex Edward was when I was human, and wondered if I should be worried about the same thing with Burt. He looked so solid, so male, so damn leathery that I knew he'd be able to survive some vampire lovin'. I grinned as I pushed the gas pedal down to the floor of the car.