Don't Rain on My Parade. (Likewise, Don't Burst My Bubble.)
A Sirius/Remus fic. Pure fluff, I really couldn't help myself.
Disclaimer: Again, dears, I must remind you that I am not J. K. Rowling. A fact that I am painfully reminded of every time I pick of one of her amazing, perfect books.
"Remus, what are my talents?" a tiny voice asks from behind his issue of the Daily Prophet.
With a sigh, Remus deadpans, "Inside or outside of the bedroom?"
There is a slight pause, then, "Outside. I'm plenty aware of my talents between the sheets, thank you." There is a tiny huff from James, sitting a few feet away. Sirius unceremoniously nudges him in the side with his foot, the smirk evident in his voice even though his face is hidden. "Potter, if you're feeling jealous…" Another huff, then James shudders and walks away, undoubtedly in search of Lily.
Remus rubs his tired eyes, taking advantage of James's absence to sidle up to Sirius and rest his head on the boy's shoulder. Brushing his hair impatiently from his eyes, Sirius mutters, "James clearly knows about us, Moons. You don't have to refrain from touching me every time he walks through the bloody door." Unable to form a proper response, Remus wipes the sodding smirk off of Sirius's face with a kiss. Sirius is, to Remus's surprise, the first to pull back. He shakes his head and places his Prophet down with a flourish. "Stop trying to distract me, Moony, baby. What are my talents?"
Remus takes a moment to think this through, twirling his unruly hair round and round his finger. Regrettably, Sirius notices his difficulty and starts to pout. "Oh, fuck it all, I knew-"
"You're quite the charmer," Remus interrupts him. "With the absolute greatest smile and a way with words. And a great sense of humor, can't forget that..." He trails off a bit lamely as he feels his cheeks heat up considerably.
Sirius's answering sigh is bordering on pitiful. "Positive attributes and talents are two completely different animals, pet. C'mon now, think."
"You're a hell of a lot better at Transfiguration than me." When Sirius opens his mouth to retort, Remus only raises his voice, glad for the empty common room. "I fucking know Peter and James are Animagi as well, Sirius, but you're better at it even than them." Sirius simply waves the compliment away, and Remus is slightly disappointed that he couldn't elicit even a blush from him.
The rest of the day, Sirius is acting positively surly, and Remus grows steadily more annoyed with him until dinner, when he finally bursts. "Sirius, what the bloody buggering fuck is wrong with you today?" Everyone within earshot looks up in shock. If Remus is cursing, things must be bad.
Sirius mumbles into his peas, his voice hardly decipherable, "Regulus made the Slytherin Quidditch team."
"I don't...I don't even..." Another first. Remus is, inexplicably, at a loss for words.
Treating Remus as though he is impossibly thick, Sirius looks up at him and speaks rather slowly. "He's a second year. A second year! And here we are, in our fifth year, and I've yet to do anything of worth!"
Resting his head in his hand, Remus just sighs and tries to keep his voice even as he answers, "Sirius, darling, you've done plenty. You're a fucking..." After a quick glance around, he sees the close attention that's been given to him by the surrounding group and decides it isn't safe to continue that thought. "You bloody know what you've accomplished, Sirius. Don't act so pitiful."
Without another word, Remus stalks out of the Great Hall. He walks straight into a Gryffindor first year and gives him detention for lollygagging, even though the child is perfectly at his leisure to do so, as it's dinnertime. He is practically seething when he reaches the dormitory, changing quickly into his pajamas, even though it's much to early to even think about going to bed. He spent all day worrying about Sirius for this? Ridiculous.
Sirius crawls into his bed much later in the evening, when the light snores of the others can be heard from all around the room. "Remus," he whispers quietly, nudging him to make sure he's awake.
Remus groans softly in reply, forcing his eyes open. "I believe I've found a solution to my problem, mate," he whispers.
Only now does Remus realize that Sirius is stark naked. "Does it involve ridiculous sex? Because, honestly, I might be a bit too annoyed with you for that." They both know that's a lie.
Sirius seems to ponder that for a moment, but then he decisively shakes his head. "No, but that doesn't mean it won't happen. I'm doing something even better, to leave a lasting mark on the school." Remus turns fully to face him, smirking when he sees the excited glint in the boy's eye.
"What, are you going to start a band, or something? Because, love, I know you've a habit of writing songs when you're drunk, but I wouldn't advise you to sing any one of them in front of a crowd."
"Ha bloody ha, Moony. No no, I'm going to do something even better than that. I'm going to learn to play Quidditch. James is going to teach me. I've already got the new CleanSweep coming in the mail." Sirius really looks proud of himself, so Remus decides to play along.
"That's great, Pads! What position are you going for?" Remus has to bite back a frown. The last time Sirius was on a broom, the Marauders were playing a quick two-on-two game. Sirius was paired with Remus, and Peter with James, because everyone had figured that Sirius would be second best to James. The game was disastrous for Sirius, who crashed into a tree, and Peter, who was nearby.
"I'm going to play Seeker," Sirius says triumphantly, apparently having forgotten all about that day. "I'm trying for the team next year."
Remus can hardly sleep for the nightmares that ensue.
End of Chapter One! I hope you all like it, it's been a while since I've written anything that this...fluffy.