Lucas maneuvers his way down the crowded carriage of the train. His day has been a realm of meetings and interviews and he's eager to get home and put his feet up and he's wishing he'd just got a cab instead of this hell.
The train comes to a halt and people vacate the small area through the open doors.
Lucas takes the opportunity to search for an empty seat. He clocks one and before more people bustle in he sits down.
'Sorry' A girl steps on his bag and his head jerks up because that voice is wonderfully familiar.
She sits down opposite him, her head tilted toward the floor, her dark blonde hair falling over her face.
He gulps and his stare flitters shamelessly down the rest of her body.
She's slender and that short skirt she's wearing shows a great deal of skin that he's eagerly gawping at.
He's done this too many times to count, he's always finding some girl that has something that he can compare to her.
She can feel his eyes on her but she doesn't look up. She doesn't want to bring attention to herself. She opted for the train in hopes of escaping the paparazzi that have been following her for the best part of the day and so far her plan has worked but she doesn't need some fan bringing to light that she's here.
He knows he's fooling himself. She would not be on a train but he can't tear his gaze away.
He's looking at her hands now, they're identical to the pair he remembers fondly. His eyes trail back down those lengthy limbs and she crosses them self consciously and that's when he sees it. The scar. The scar at the side of her calf muscle, faded but very much noticeable to someone that knows it's there, that knows she was shot in the leg in high school.
Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer.
'Peyton Sawyer'
She cringes and doesn't look up. Maybe if she ignores it he'll get the message.
'Peyton?'
His voice has her head jolting up this time though and her hair falling away from her face. Her eyes widen at the man that's sitting not even a metre away.
Heads have begun to turn and she can hear the whispers of her name filtering down the carriage but she's too shocked to really pay anyone any attention.
'Hi' He finds his voice again.
A small uneasy smile curls her lips. 'Hi'
There's an awkward pause and then they both abruptly open their mouths. 'How are you?' They say in sync.
Then comes the awkward laugh and Peyton let's him speak first.
'I'm good thanks. Really good'
'That's good' She wants to roll her eyes at how lame they sound right now. 'What brings you to New York?'
'I'm actually living here'
'Oh' Her eyes widen in surprise. 'Wow'
'Yeah, I've been here a couple of years now actually'
Peyton curses her best friend because Brooke Davis is a renowned gossiper and in avid contact with Nathan and Haley Scott and there is no doubt in her mind that she couldn't of known that her ex, their ex had moved to the big apple.
'Wow, that's wow' She cringes, she needs to stop with the wows.
'Yeah, it was pretty crazy for a while. My girlfriend's here so it made sense, she's my editor.'
He has a giddy smile on his face and she wants to be happy for him. He's found someone else. He's found happiness but she's not happy for him. She wonders why he said it, it's just unnecessary. Is he really that resentful of her that he needs to rub it in her face. She's in a relationship but she has no intention of letting him know it. She doesn't know if to be proud of that or not because she doesn't know the reason why. She doesn't know if it's because her love is too precious to share or if it's so meaningless that it isn't worth sharing.
She's a little naive to think he doesn't already know about Julian Baker. He does. He's famous after all and with fame comes media and she's been in the magazines a lot lately. He knows all about her relationship.
'That's great Lucas' She says overly brightly.
Her phone rings then and she apologises and answers it. It's Julian. It's her boyfriend.
Lucas listens to her speak. Her voice has changed, it's no longer awkward and polite, it's natural and at ease. She's speaking quietly and he struggles to get the gist of the conversation but he knows it's him because he can read her lips when she says I love you too.
She hangs up and meets his staring eyes.
'Sorry. Well this is my stop so-'
'Mine too' It's not, but he gets to his feet too. He's intrigued. This was the love of his life and his only contact with her has been through the magazines that portray her as some sarky bitch for snagging the hot film producer. She's different than he ever expected. She's grown up and she's confident and self assured and he wants to know what else is different. He wants to know everything. 'Do you want to grab a coffee?' He asks suddenly.
Peyton's surprised. She has no idea what he wants from her but she finds herself nodding.
They walk out onto the street together, neither speaking. Peyton eventually breaks it, suggesting they go to a little artistic coffee house that she apparently goes to a lot because when they walk in the waitress greets her by first name. He looks around and he loves it, it's totally her. She insists they sit near the window under a huge abstract painting and he momentarily thinks that if she was a painting this would be her and he loves it.
'So' He smiles and she finds herself smiling up at him through long lashes and she knows she's not meant to smile at him like that and he knows it too. 'How's your life Miss Sawyer?' He enquires.
'Good, great' She shrugs a shoulder.
He squints at her and she rolls her eyes cause she knows he was after more than a one word response.
'I have my own business, red bedroom records. It's doing great we have some big artists, Mia-'
'Catalano' Lucas nods. He knows, he knows every artist she's signed and he has every single one on his shelf. He doesn't necessarily like the sound from all of the large collection of artists, but every one is great because she had some say in it.
'Yeah' Her eyes linger on his and then she forces herself to look down and take a sip of her latte. 'The Comet's doing well' She states. He watches her tongue flick out and lick her top lip before she rubs them together and it's a completely natural little action that would go completely unnoticed to most but not Lucas, he swallows thickly and suddenly realises that he wants to kiss those lips.
She's well aware that he's blatantly checking her out right now. She tucks a curl behind her ear and tries to garner his attention.
'I read somewhere that you had a crazy book signing last month- they had to get security in or something'
He blinks and nods hastily, hoping desperately that she didn't notice his little daze.
'Yeah, oh my god it was insane'
'It's not that insane, the book's amazing and the public know it'
His eyebrow kinks. 'Was that a complement?'
She blushes and shrugs a shoulder. 'Don't think you're getting any more'
He laughs. He loves that she's obviously read his book, that she's read about him.
'Have you got anything else in the works?'
'Yeah, yeah actually' He's vague and she frowns.
'That's all I'm getting?'
'You'll just have to keep your eyes open for anything L. E. Scott'
'I always do'
He's caught off guard by her comment. She just ventured into dangerous territory. Who's he kidding, he did that when he suggested going for a coffee.
It's like he said when they were just seventeen, it's always going to be there.
'I'm sorry'
'Don't be' His hand slides over hers. It's the first time they've touched and a jolt runs down their spines. There's a long minute when they just stare at each other and then she pulls her hand back, putting it safely in her lap. She's in a relationship, so is he and this is all so wrong.
Lucas speaks, trying to ignore the horrendous tension.
'So what's it like being a big famous star?' He teases.
She frowns but smiles. 'I'm not famous'
'You're in a magazine every other day'
'Only because my best friend happens to be Brooke Davis and Brooke Davis likes putting me in her fabulous clothes'
'So nothing to do with Julian Baker'
She stiffens, stiffens obviously.
'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-'
'It's fine' She smiles. 'And Julian has a big something to do with it too I guess' She fiddles with a paper napkin. 'I don't like it. The paparazzi, I don't like that I'm getting all this attention because of my relationship. I don't want to be known for going out with Julian Baker. If, if it was because of my record company I think I'd be alright with it but it's not' She admits. It's something she's not told anyone, not even Brooke because Brooke encourages her to be seen because she's taken to using Peyton Sawyer as the face of Clothes over Bros.
He doesn't know what to say. He wants to say end it then but he knows that that won't put a smile on her face.
'Well I like seeing you in the magazines' He smirks instead. 'It's like being able to stalk you're chickeny legs without actually leaving my house' He jokes and she rolls her eyes but he gets that smile he'd been aiming for.
'Perv'
'You're legs are amazing' He notes in his defense and she shakes her head and distracts herself with her drink again.
They completely loose track of time. They stay in the little art house for several hours. Just talking and it's natural and easy and neither of them want to leave because it just feels so much like home. Peyton's the first to recognize that it's getting on for seven though and she has somewhere she has to be tonight.
They leave and wander down the street together.
It's a cool evening and she wraps her arms around herself and Lucas wants to put his arm around her but he doesn't because he figures it would be completely unsuitable right now.
'You hear that?' She stops walking and her eyes are wide.
'What?'
'That music'
He smirks because she looks like she's in raptures and he loves that she's obviously just as passionate about music as she ever was.
'You want to go inside?'
'I thought you had somewhere to be?'
'I do, that doesn't mean I want to be there' She migrates to the door. 'Coming?'
She really needn't have asked. He was already following her.
It's a run down bar, somewhere Lucas definitely wouldn't have even considered entering in the day light but the music filtering through the small venue is unquestionably amazing.
They get a couple of beers that Lucas insists upon buying and they stand at the bar, listening.
When the band finishes, he watches her approach the group of boys. He watches her talk, she's professional but undeniably good humoured and enthusiastic and the group are instantly on board with whatever she has to say. She hands them her card and he knows she's as good as got another hit band joining her company.
She returns and she's smiling excitedly. 'They seem like really nice guys'
He's ordered her another beer in her absence and hands it to her. 'Congratulations' He grins, clinking his own bottle with hers.
She has a swig and he swears there really isn't anyone more sexy than Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer. Every little action has his mouth watering.
'You're kinda amazing, did anyone ever tell you that?' The words tumble from his mouth and her gaze penetrates right through him.
He's told her that, several times in the past and the sentence has her tingling from head to toe because she believes him, only him.
Her eyes are on his lips.
He's about to say sorry but she takes him completely by surprise. She does something he'd never envisioned happening in a million years.
She kisses him.
Perhaps it's the few beers they've drunk, or the buzzing little club but her lips are on his and he really doesn't care the reason behind it.
His eyes widen and then flicker closed because this feels just as he dreamed, just as he remembered. His hands fumble to her hips and he doesn't hesitate, not once, he deepens the kiss. His tongues in her mouth and her hands on his face and he wants more, he wants all of her but she's pulling away gasping.
'Oh god, I'm sorry' Her cheeks are flushed pink and she's blinking and then she's turning away abruptly and walking toward the exit.
He grabs her wrist. 'Where're you going?'
'I, I've got somewhere to be'
'But you don't want to go' He reminds her desperately. She can't kiss him like that and then just disappear, she can't, he won't let her.
'I have to'
He doesn't let go of her arm, his eyes rake down her and when they finally venture back to her face he asks her something that he certainly wouldn't have even considered had he not had a few alcoholic beverages in his system. He asks her something completely inappropriate. 'Have sex with me'
Her breath catches in her throat and her cheeks redden even more. 'Wh-what?'
'You heard me' He doesn't care that it's blunt, he knows she's thinking it too.
She pulls her wrist from his grip and her eyes narrow angrily. 'I'm in a relationship Lucas'
'He can't be fulfilling all your needs if you're kissing ex-boyfriend's in bars like that'
'You don't know anything about me and Julian' She hisses.
'I know you' He settles his hand at her hip and tugs her back against him and she nearly whimpers. 'I want you' He husks.
'Luke' Her mouth is dry, she's finding it hard to stay mad.
'I'm not asking you to marry me' He smirks and she doesn't know if to laugh or cry because that one question alone is what ruined them. 'It's just sex'
'Just sex' She repeats softly, it's never been just sex between them but she's content on believing otherwise.
He doesn't know if her mutter is her consent and she's looking completely confused and he's suddenly regretting his reckless plea.
They never had closure, she never had any closure. Five years later, she still wants that closure.
Julian made her forget Lucas but she's never moved on. She knows Julian wants more from her. She wants to move on. She wants to move on with Julian, she wants to stop day dreaming about a life she'd wanted with the man before her.
'Just once' She announces and he's completely shocked. She convinces herself that a night spent with Lucas will be her closure. She'll get him completely out of her system once and for all.
'Just once' He nods. He's up for anything at this point, he just really, really wants to spend the night with her, needs to spend the night with her.
She looks down. They've essentially just made a deal and her stomach is turning with anticipation of what's to come.
He holds his hand out to her, she doesn't take it. She turns and he follows her out of the bar, into the cool night air. 'Where, where shall we go?' She wonders aloud as they walk aimlessly down the sidewalk.
'Where's your-'
'We're not going to my place' She stops walking and shakes her head adamantly. She's not taking him to the place she shares a bed with another man.
'Okay' He answers coolly. 'We'll find a hotel' He presses a hand against her back and she doesn't cower away, she lets it stay there and they begin walking again.
'I can't go anywhere where we'll be seen'
'We'll find somewhere' He assures her calmly.
He's smiling and she hates how suave he's being and she immediately decides this isn't the first time he's done this.
'Where do you take all the other girls?'
He's the one to stop walking this time.
'I don't do this' He announces. 'I'm not that guy. I don't do that' He declares earnestly.
She believes him, but she wishes that weren't true because this instantly makes this more than she's willing to believe it is.
They walk in silence and exchange looks when they come across a hotel.
It's small and neither of them have noticed it before, probably because it doesn't look like the most appealing establishment but it's what they're looking for right now.
Completely under the radar, they slip inside.
It's dingy. Quiet.
It's no secret what they're doing here, what anyone is doing here.
Young people are having fleeting weekend romances, husbands are cheating on their wives, wives are cheating on their husbands and in their case, true lovers are reuniting.
Lucas gets the room. Peyton keeps her head down. The last thing she needs right now is to be noticed. They make it to room twenty four unidentified.
'Nice' Lucas comments sarcastically as he closes the door behind them.
She laughs because she's uneasy. This is certainly not the evening she'd had planned. But it's the only evening she wants. She doesn't care that the wall paper is peeling, that there's a layer of thick dust lining the surfaces, that the sheets feel like cardboard.
He walks up behind her and his hands settle on her hips and he pulls her back against his chest. 'Where're you meant to be right now?' He questions.
'Let's not talk' She whispers, stepping forward. She shrugs her jacket off and turns around. 'We're not here to talk'
He unconsciously licks his lips, his eyes on her hands. She unfastens the first few buttons on her shirt and then he's striding forward like a man possessed and pushing her fingers away and taking over. He pulls the sleeves down her arms and his fingertips touch her creamy skin and she takes a shaky breath.
'You're beautiful' His hand trails over her collar bone and his stare is taking her in, she's not wearing a bra and her chest is heaving with her every inhale. 'God I missed you' He exhales.
She pushes her tongue to the roof of her mouth.
'No speaking' She reminds him because if he keeps saying things like that she's going to fall apart.
His thumb runs back and forth along her cheek bone and he's staring into her eyes and there is no way in hell that this is going to be just sex. His nose brushes against hers and he kisses her slowly.
She moans and he's suddenly pushing her back onto the bed and she gasps as his weight falls onto her and then everything speeds up and they're eagerly tearing at clothes and kissing hastily and her heads spinning and he can't get enough of her and he realises that she's the only person that can make him feel like this, so unhinged and senseless.
When he enters her, he slows things down and she groans in protest but he's not going to make this what they both agreed it would be. He's going to make this last, he's going to memorise every second. He's not going to fuck her, he's never been able to have just sex with Peyton Sawyer. It's not how it works. He takes his time and she exhales his name and she can't remember the last time she felt anything so wonderful.
She pretends he doesn't say I love you when he comes. She pretends she doesn't hear every last syllable. She pretends that he hasn't just made her feel better than she's felt in a hell of a long time. She pretends to fall asleep and waits until she hears his steady breaths that signal his own slumber. Only then does she sit up, carefully moving his hand away from her. She stares at his peaceful figure for a long while before she knows she has to go, before it's too late and she's glued to this spot forever.
'I love you too' She kisses his forehead and then she gathers her clothes and dresses and slips unheard from the room.
She gets home and he's waiting up. He's in his tux and he has a beer in one hand.
'Julian' She breathes out. 'You're here'
'I'm here' He agrees evenly.
'I figured you'd be at some after party'
'I didn't feel like it'
She nods and discards her shoes and purse on the side before walking over to the leather sofa.
'You didn't come'
'I'm sorry'
'I called, over and over. Where were you?'
'I got held up'
'Peyton it's two am'
She avoids his concerned stare. The guilt is unbearable.
'It was my film premiere Peyton, it was important'
She's angry now. 'You never came to Mia's release party'
'I was working and this is slightly different' He stands.
'How? My work isn't as important as yours? It's not like I've missed one of your precious events before. I'm always there, your trophy on the end of your arm, smiling sweetly'
He's taken aback.
'That's not how it is' He shouts angrily. 'Where were you?'
'No where' She glowers. Being mad at him is easier than being guilty for betraying him.
'Peyton' He grabs her arms. 'Where were you?'
'I didn't want to go okay? I didn't feel like walking down a fucking red carpet, I didn't feel like having to smile and pretend that I'm happy'
'You're not happy?'
Tears fill her eyes and she wishes she didn't have to spell it out for him. She shouldn't have to tell him that she didn't want to be there, he should have been able to see this morning that she really didn't want to go.
But she sniffles and inhales shakily. 'I'm happy' She lies and he's suddenly standing in front of her and brushing her hair behind her ear. 'I'm sorry'
'Me too' He's clueless to what this is about but then Peyton Sawyer frequently makes him feel clueless.
'How was it?' She mutters.
'Good, although I think everyone was more concerned about where my beautiful girlfriend was' He kisses her and tears trail down her cheeks because she feels dirty and she's sure he must be able to smell Lucas on her. He wipes her tears away. 'What's wrong? Babe I really don't like seeing you this way'
'I'm sorry'
'Stop apologising and just tell me what's the matter?'
'I've just had a shitty day' She fabricates. 'And I've had people following me and I just, I don't like it'
He frowns. 'You should have called me.... Why don't we go away for a while. Just you and me. I think we could both do with getting away from it all?'
She hates that he's being so wonderful right now.
She sniffles and nods because maybe that is just what she needs. Some time away to get her priorities in check.
And that's exactly what they do. They go away. They go away for a long month and she convinces herself that, that night with Lucas was just a moment of weakness because Julian is the one that mended her heart, Julian is the one that has been with her for the last five years and she's been with him longer that she was ever with Lucas and anyway, Lucas has a girlfriend. Julian is who she wants, Julian is who she chooses.
Lucas splits up with Lindsey.
He tries to get a hold of Peyton, turns out she's a hard girl to talk to.
Her secretary keeps taking his messages and he has no idea if she's getting them. He doesn't have her cell. No one will give him her address.
His only way of seeing her is in those magazines and he suddenly hates them. They taunt him.
She looks absolutely stunning in every one. He can't blame the media really. Her tall slender model like figure and tragic green orbs makes her the perfect subject and her high profile relationship makes her an easy target. She's photographed everywhere. She's photographed with him, she's photographed holding his hand, she's photographed at events with Brooke Davis. She's everywhere and yet seemingly completely inaccessible.
He rings Haley one day, he tells her everything. She's not surprised in the slightest. She sighs down the phone and tells him not to give up on Peyton Sawyer, she tells him to do what he didn't do all those years ago, she tells him to fight for her.
He does. He goes to her studio and it sets in that day that she just doesn't want to see him. She has security get rid of him before he actually gets past reception.
He's frustrated. He loves her and he'd been convinced she felt the same but was starting to have his doubts.
He has to see her. So he does something. He's not sure whether it's the right thing, whether he's ruining his chances all together. It's completely reckless and perhaps immature but it's his last option.
He sends a screenplay to Julian Baker in the hope that it's good enough to solicit a response. It's something he's been working on for a while now and he's passionate and nervous about it and the last person he wants to trust with it is Julian Baker but if it gets him nearer to her he'll sacrifice it all in a second.
He doesn't hear anything for a long forty two days.
He mopes around, he doesn't go out. He spends his days writing about her, googling her obsessively and just day dreaming. He knows it's not healthy. He's well and truly lovesick.
But then he gets the call, the life line he's been waiting for.
It's Mr Baker himself and he feels both nauseated and relieved to hear this man's voice. He sounds genuinely excited about the script. He wants to meet in person to discuss it.
Lucas meets him two days later. He shaves, dresses smartly and is on his best behaviour. They talk seriously about the possibilities of turning Lucas' screenplay into a film. Julian describes it as a both tragic and uplifting story about true love. Lucas can only nod, he doesn't want to tell this poor guy that he's mucked up in this story too. That he's the poor soul stuck in the middle of it all.
They have several meetings over the coming month and Lucas actually grows to like the guy. He really thinks they could have both been friends if they weren't both in love with the same girl.
Then it happens. Julian invites him over to his apartment.
Lucas is both overwrought and dreading it.
She's not there when he arrives. Apparently she's still at work and he's glad. He stares around the sparse space. It's not as he imagined. It's not like Peyton at all. It's arty yes, but it's not homely. It feels un-lived in and cold. There are large photograph portraits on one wall of her posing on the front of magazines and he knows she didn't choose to have them there. He likes them though, she looks damn hot.
Julian grabs him a beer and they talk about the movie, then sports. They're on the subject of basket ball when she walks in.
Her hair's tied back in a messy pony tail and is half falling out and she's wearing a long sleeved dress and carrying several bags.
'I'm sorry I'm late babe' She sets everything down and Julian crosses the room.
'That's alright' He kisses her and Lucas looks away, he's not so fond of Julian right now. 'How was your day?'
'Okay'
'Well this here is Lucas' Her stare diverts to him. He stands awkwardly and tries to ignore the fact that her eyes have widened considerably and her mouth is slightly agape. 'You know I told you I had a new film in the works, he's the writer'
She'd heard, she'd not been interested when he'd asked her to read the script. She was suddenly very interested in getting her hand on those pages.
She's angry, she wants him out, out of this apartment, out of her home, out of the life she's constructed for herself, the life that didn't involve Lucas fucking Scott.
'Hello' She forces out politely but her scathing glare doesn't go unnoticed by Lucas.
'Hi' He crosses the room and holds his hand out and she has no choice but to play along.
She plays along all evening. It's only when Julian goes to the toilet that her false smile dissolves.
'What the hell are you doing?' She grinds out.
'The man that's turning my screenplay into a film asked me over'
'What's wrong with you?' She exclaims, ignoring his explanation.
'I needed to see you' He stresses. 'You won't answer my calls'
'Maybe that suggests that I don't want to see you'
'I split up with Lindsey'
'What?'
'I love you Peyton' He breathes out quickly.
Her eyebrows knit together and she shakes her head. 'Don't you dare, don't you fucking dare. It was one night. Just sex'
'It wasn't just-'
'What did I miss?' Julian's cheery voice forces bright smiles back onto their unhappy faces.
When he leaves she assures Julian that Lucas Scott seems like a great guy. He says this film is going to be different, it's not going to be a money maker like the rest, it's going to mean something. She has no doubt that it will. She asks to read the screen play and he's over the moon that she's taking some interest in his work but she's not, she's taking interest in Lucas' work.
She stays up all night, she doesn't put it down.
It's a story about a girl, a girl who bumps into a boy. Not just any boy, a boy she shares a history with, the boy she's in love with.
The story is horribly familiar, only she doesn't know the ending.
The ending has her in tears, she's rooting for the girl to leave her boyfriend and be with her true love but she doesn't. She doesn't.
'What's going on with you?' Brooke asks.
Peyton's just had her make up done and she's being sewn into some garment that Brooke wants as the cover of Brooke Davis.
'Nothing' The blonde looks at her best friend.
'You've been acting weird since you went away with Julian? Did something happen? Are you pregnant?'
'What? No!' Peyton shrieks.
'Well seriously, P Sawyer, what's with you?'
'Nothing I'm not acting weird, nothings happened and I'm definitely not pregnant'
Brooke looks at her through narrowed eyes. 'Hey Megan, can you go get us some coffees?' The young girl stops.
'Sure' She cuts the loose piece of thread away and hurriedly walks out of Brooke's office.
'You wanna talk?' Brooke holds her hand out and Peyton clambers down from the block, and they both sit down.
'There's nothing to talk about'
'I'm worried about you. Are you taking drugs?'
'What?' Peyton's brow furrows. 'No!'
'I can get you help if you-'
'Brooke you know me, I'm not doing that'
'Well my best friend tells me everything and I know there's something bothering you, what am I meant to think?'
'I slept with Lucas' Peyton suddenly blurts.
Brooke's eyes widen dramatically.
'I slept with him the night of Julian's premiere, that's why I wasn't there. I slept with Lucas fucking Scott and now Julian turning his screen play into a film and I can't escape him and I'm the worst girlfriend in the world'
Brooke is beyond stunned.
'Please say something'
'Well of all the things in the world that I was expecting that definitely wasn't it' She mutters.
Peyton's eyes are watering and Brooke frowns sympathetically. 'Oh Peyt' She gathers her friend in her arms and hugs her as best she can given the realms of material between them. 'How did you even meet him?'
'We r-ran into each on the train'
'You ran into him and ended up having sex?'
'We had a coffee and then a couple of drinks and then he, he asked me'
'He asked you?' Brooke scowls. 'He just asked you to have sex with him?'
'I kiss-kissed him and then... it just happened' Peyton shrugs a shoulder. 'And I can't take it back and, and the thing is I, I don't want to'
'Oh my god. You're still in love with him?'
'No, I don't know'
'You're in love with him' Brooke states.
Peyton shakes her head. 'I don't want to get hurt again Brooke'
'You're hurting yourself and two other people by not doing anything sweetie'
But Peyton can't do anything because she's not willing to ruin this film that's in production. There's already enough hype about the independent movie and she won't be the one to ruin all their hard work. So she stays silent and she continues like normal, they all do. She avoids Lucas and when she has no choice but to be in his presence she ignores him at all costs because she has to be loyal, she has to be loyal to Julian Baker.
She winds up sitting in between her boyfriend and Lucas Scott at the premiere of their film and she feels dirty and horrible. She concentrates on the movie but it doesn't help because this film is about her. It's written by the boy she loves and it's made by the boy she shares her bed with and if that isn't screwed up she doesn't know what is.
It's beautiful and heart wrenching and she has tears in her eyes when the credits come up.
It's Julian's best work yet and she's proud of him but she's proud of Lucas too and she hates, hates that he's put her in this position.
There's after parties that she has to attend. She avoids Lucas, she sees him watching her but she doesn't speak to him, not once during the entire night and then he disappears and she misses him. She wants to know where he is because being here seems so pointless with him gone.
Julian is on an extreme high. He always is on these nights but he's especially so because he knows Peyton thinks the world of this film because she's told him so several times.
They go back to their apartment and he's kissing her the second the door's closed and he has her pushed up against the wall and his hands are everywhere and she just wants him away from her but she tries to be normal and kiss him back because she's guilty and he doesn't deserve any of this.
He's just told her that he loves her and her hands are unbuckling his belt but he pauses her eagerness and exhales heavily.
'Peyton wait' She looks up at him through long lashes with pained eyes. 'You're beautiful' He whispers. She smiles.
'You're not so bad yourself'
'There, there's something I wanted to ask you before we do this'
She frowns slightly because he's serious and she just wants him to fuck her so she can forget why her heart aches so badly.
He takes a little step backward and his hands in his pocket and then he's on his knee and she can't breathe because this isn't happening, this can't be happening.
'Will you marry me?'
Lucas is sitting in his lonely apartment. It's late. He should be happy. He should be ecstatic, the night went perfectly, the film is getting great reviews and he's had nothing but complements.
Only all the success in the world couldn't make him happy.
She looked stunning and he can't get her out of his head. Every time he closes his eyes he sees her on the red carpet.
Her hair was swooped back and pinned at one side and her eyes were painted dark and her dress, her dress was amazing on so many different levels. It came to her knees, green and the back was v shaped and dropped to just before her backside and he'd not been able to tear his eyes away from her for a single second as she'd posed for photos, posed with Julian.
He was sure the jealousy must have been more than evident to anyone who looked at him. It was, to Brooke Davis anyhow. She'd greeted him, kissed him on the cheek and told him how great it was to see him. She'd caught him watching, she'd squeezed his hand and told him not to give up on Peyton yet and this was coming from her best friend. Her quiet plea had instilled hope in him but Peyton had progressed to ignore him for the entire evening and he was ready to give up. This fight was too much to bare, he couldn't keep wishing for something that was clearly never going to happen. He needed to let go of Peyton Sawyer once and for all.
The knock at the door startles him from his hazy trance. He pulls himself from his seat and traipses over to the door, making a stop to turn his blaring music off. He figures it's the lady from upstairs ready to yell at him for how loud he's been playing The Cure for the last hour.
It's not the lady from upstairs though.
It's Peyton Sawyer. It's a crying Peyton Sawyer.
'You, you hate The Cure' She mutters through a sniffle.
'Not always' He stares at her, mystified as to why or how she's here. 'How do you know where I live?'
'Brooke, Brooke knows everything'
He nods again, he wants to ask her why she's crying but he doesn't want to care, it's not his job to comfort her, it's Julian's.
'Why're you here?' Instead he asks, a little rudely.
Her face contorts and she takes a harsh breath. 'He, he asked me to, to ma-to marry him' She sobs out.
His heart races to an unhealthy rate. 'What?' He abruptly pulls her into his apartment. 'What did you say?' He demands urgently.
'What do you think I said?' She exclaims.
He has no clue.
'I said no Lucas. I said no because I've never even imagined walking down the isle with him. I've only ever imagined that with one other person. I've only dreamed of having that with you' She declares hysterically. 'I didn't say no to you, I said someday. I never said no. You just left, you just left me'
He swallows thickly because never in all the time he's known her has he seen her quite so upset and what's worse is that he is the cause of her tears.
He's had a lot of time to think that day over. Six years of time to question his actions.
He'd been young, they both had, he'd been young, foolish and insecure. He'd never have admitted that even three years ago but he was ready to say it now.
'I'm sorry Peyton' He apologises. 'I felt like, I guess I felt like I was loosing you. We were drifting apart. I was loosing you to your job'
'You were never second' She argues. 'I had to make something for myself and so did you. Don't you know that I loved you more than anything?'
He blinks.
'That I'm still in love with you' She whispers.
She's still in that green dress. It's slightly crumpled, her make up is streaming and she's got a ladder in her tights and even though she's a mess she's a god damn beautiful mess.
He crosses the room hastily and cups her face.
'Of course I know' He professes sternly and then he's kissing her urgently. Pushing her back against the shelves of books. Treasured pages of hard backs tumble to the floor and he blindly manoeuvres them to a less hazardous surface, the wall. 'I love you' He says between open mouthed kisses.
His lips are at her neck now and she whimpers and her hands are curled in his shirt and she breathes into his ear 'Marry me'
'What?' He pants, his head jerking up.
'Don't you dare say no' She warns.
He laughs and shakes his head. 'I'd never say no'
'Good cause I need to be your wife Lucas Scott' She rasps.
He's never heard anything so wonderful. He grins, kissing her again. 'That's good, cause I need you to be my wife too'
They go through a lot of trials in the weeks that follow. The media aren't kind but they get through it and six months later Peyton Sawyer does become Peyton Scott.
end.