Okay, so have you ever been listening to the radio and heard a song which describes your life? And I mean really, really fits it. Each line could have been written about your situation and then you can't stop listening to it? There I was sitting around thinking, about . . . well funnily enough Nick, and then this song comes on. I swear it could have been written about how I feel. I'll explain why-
Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see
Nick looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see
Whenever he looks at me I have to do this because my natural expression would probably make me look suicidal. I swear, whenever he's with her and all happy that's how I feel. Not literally suicidal but it's seriously depressing. Don't get me wrong, I'd do anything to him happy but I just wish he was happy with me.
What I want and I need
Everything that we should be
What I want and I need
Everything that we should be
Clearly I don't need him but I sure want him. And to say that's how we "should" be together is too absolute and apparently not true. But in my mind we belong together. I'd do anything if it meant him loving me back.
I bet she's beautiful
That girl he talks about
And she's got everything
That I have to live without
I know she's beautiful
That girl he talks about
And she's got everything
That I have to live without
That's right. I know Iris is beautiful and yes, he talks about her all the time. And when he's not talking about her, he's thinking about her. I'm no mind reader but he gets that look I get whenever I think about him. All glazed over and out of it. I really need to stop thinking about him so much, what with the fact he's taken. I just love him so much.
Draw talks to me
I laugh 'cause it's just so funny
Nick talks to me
I laugh 'cause it's he's just so funny
He really makes me laugh (and I don't just mean at him because of the messes he sometimes gets himself into). His sarcastic little comments are so funny; my life wouldn't be the same without them.
That I can't even see
Anyone when he's with me
That I can't even see
Anyone when he's with me
I really can't see anyone else. Sometimes it's like a just go into Nick world and I'll be tapped on the shoulder and asked why I haven't replied to them. I must be really annoying to talk to. It's worse when he's actually in the room. I swear my eyes are magnetically attracted to wherever he is.
He's says he's so in love
He's finally got it right
He says he's so in love
He's really got it right
He's really sure he's got it right this time. If I wasn't so incredibly biased against it I'd say their relationship is pretty amazing. The way they both look at each other, I know how they feel and what they're thinking. It's complete and utter love . . . if that makes sense? It's like the realization that the person they're looking at is perfect in every single way. I said this before but it's what I see when I look at Nick.
I wonder if he knows
He's all I think about at night
He doesn't know that
He's all I think about at night
There's no way he knows how I feel. I make sure of that. I mean, besides the staring I fake all my smiles and act naturally around him as often as possible. Oh, and as for the "He's all I think about at night" thing, I don't mean that in a creepy way. I'm just thinking about him and how perfect he is. God, I'm so pathetic.
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do
He's the reason for the teardrops on my Magatama
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do
I know Magatama doesn't rhyme with "star" but I don't own a guitar so . . . And I wish I could stop singing his song, I really do. I don't want to love him anymore. It's so unfair, I know this all sounds so angsty and teenage but I can't help it. Oh, and there's no point wishing, I know we'll never be together in that way. More fool me for spending all my time dreaming about him.
Drew walks by me
Can't he tell that I can't breathe?
Nick walks by me
Can't he tell that I can't breathe?
You know I said before "I fake all my smiles and act naturally around him as often as possible-"? It's not always possible. If his hand ever accidentally touches mine when he's handing me something or his body brushes past mine I turn this startling red colour. It's so embarrassing. People have actually asked me before "Why have you just turned red?" I always have to tell them it's because it's hot in the room since I can't exactly reply "Oh, it's because I'm secretly, whole-heartedly in love with my best friend."
And there he goes so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
And there he goes so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
I think we've got to this bit already. Nick is perfect, end of; we get the point, Maya. Maybe if I was that perfect he'd feel the same about me? Though I heard that no one's perfect until you fall in love with them.
She'd better hold him tight
Give him all her love
I know she holds him tight
Gives him all her love
Iris really does love him. That's all I can find solace in. I mean, on one hand it's the worst thing in the world that the women he loves in actually related to me, but at least she's not some horrible person who'll break his heart. I know she hurt him before, but everyone deserves a second chance, I guess. Plus, Iris is so nice. Not that that's a good thing. Well, it is for Nick but it's awful for me. How are you supposed to hate someone when they're as kind and sweet as she is?
Look in those beautiful eyes
And know she's lucky 'cause-
Looks in those beautiful eyes
And knows she's lucky 'cause-
She's SO lucky and I'm pretty sure she knows it. Nick has the most beautiful eyes and she gets to stare into them whenever she likes without being accused of being creepy. He gives me a weird look whenever he catches me staring. I don't blame him, it's seriously creepy. I think I can get away with this since I'm just his best friend and everything.
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do
He's the reason for the teardrops on my Magatama
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do
I already explained this part.
So I drive home alone
As I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down
And maybe get some sleep tonight?
I'll settle down alone
As I turn out the light
I'll put our picture down
And maybe, please God, let me get some sleep tonight?
Does that seem over the top? That's how my lyrics would go if the song was actually about me and Nick. I know I sound like a have a full blown obsession with him but when you love someone that much they're pretty much all you think about when you're left to your own devices with no distractions. Oh, and I have this picture of me and him that we took in Kurain village last time we were there. It's on the night stand next to my bed. It's pretty difficult to sleep with his amazing blue eyes staring out at you so I have to put his picture down. And then in the morning I pick it back up again because I don't want him to see it and think it's because I don't like the photograph.
'Cause he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of my to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do
'Cause he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of my to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do
He's the only one. There's no one else who could break my heart and hurt me this much every day and still have me want him, still have me think he's perfect. I've never felt this way about anyone and I know even if I got over him, I never would because he's always going to be the first guy who I ever truly loved.
He's the time taken up but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into
He's the time taken up but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into
I could spend forever with him and I'd still be left wanting more. Okay, obviously, no matter how much you love someone if you spend every waking minute with them they might annoy you occasionally but you get the idea. He's all I want. It truly is too bad I'll never get him.
Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see
Nick looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see
Because when you feel like that and you know they don't feel the same, you don't want them to see.