She had never thought of him as an option. Never thought of him in that way. Sure he was good-looking, and she would openly admit that. And there was always an underlying attraction, pushed aside so as not to hurt the people close to them. But she had never actually considered feelings would be involved. He was her best friend, and she loved him deeply, just as she loved Bonnie or Matt. That was what she told herself. She ignored that slight widening of her smile whenever he walked into a room. The warmth she felt whenever his arms wrapped around her, they somehow fitted together perfectly, like some kind of puzzle pieces. She never put thought into how he was the first person she went to whenever she wanted to talk about her parents. About anything really. She ignored it. Ignored for as long as possible. But she couldn't ignore it anymore. Not when he was standing on her porch, soaking wet and saying the words she had dreaded and wished for.
"I love you."
She gaped at him. How was she supposed to answer that. What was she supposed to say. Her heart told her to say the words they both wanted to hear. The words they both needed to hear. The truth. The simple but meaningful words hung on the tip of her tongue, waiting to fall out. She could picture what would happen if she said them. They'd kiss, hungry and loving, because it had been denied to them for so long. And there would be so many problems. So many people who wouldn't approve. So many people who would be hurt. And that thought made those precious words die on her tongue. She had hurt so many people already. She couldn't do that anymore. She knew this would kill her inside, and it would hurt Tyler, but they'd move past this. They'd still be friends. They'd always be friends... Right? She wasn't sure she could survive without him.
So with a tearful gaze she spoke the words sure to shatter her already fragile heart into pieces. The lie burned her mouth like acid. "I love you too, Tyler. I do.. But I'm not in love with you. I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry."
She watched the mirade of emotions flash across his face. Her heart clenched at the pure happiness that raditated from his expression at her words. She watched as it slowly fell, a pain covering his features. She wanted nothing more then to rush forward and lose herself in him. Whisper the beautiful words against his skin, tell him she loved him. But she held herself in place. Watching with a heavy heart as he turned and moved slowly down the porch. She couldn't help herself as she called after him, the words tumbling from her mouth in a rough tone.
"This.. This doesn't change anything, right? We're still friends..?" He tensed, the heavy rain pelting against his back. She waited with baited breath, for him to do something. Anything. But he stayed there, unmoving. So she approached him. She moved towards him slowly, shivering as the icy drops fell against her skin. She stopped behind him, reaching a hand out to touch his back, when he spun around quickly and grabbed her hand, pulling her to him. Their bodies meshed together perfectly, her hands moving to brace herself against his chest on instinct. She saw the look in his now gold tinged eyes as they flickered between her eyes and her lips. She didn't say anything. Didn't move, not knowing if it would be closer to him or farther away.
Her breathing hitched as a thumb brushed over her cheek. She knew if they did this, there would be no going back. She'd give in to him, and it terrified her. He must have saw it. He had always read her so well. A firey disappointment coursed through her when his soft lips pressed against her forehead. The warmth his touch brought was undeniable.
"We'll always be friends, 'Lena. No matter what. I'll always be here for you." He lingered for another moment before pulling away. He offered her one last pained smile before he turned and walked away, taking a large piece of her with him.