Dear
journal,
Man
I haven't written in forever. Tommy. Tommy. Tommy. Why'd he leave?
Not even telling me where he was planning on going. How could he
think that I wouldn't care. He knows I can't function right without
him. Yet again hurricane Tommy brushes through my world completely
changing it. How could I let myself fall for him again? I thought we
were actually reaching a breakthrough. But here I go again. Wrong
like always. Here I am brokenhearted. When will I learn. I just want
to break from this hold he has on me. It's always he kisses me then
leaves. I wonder when he'll come back. I refuse to believe he's gone
completely. Not from me at least. How could I have spent all this
time with him and not even see this coming. It's been only 2 days and
I miss him like crazy already. I know my c.d is already in the bag
and we're all free to take a break. But he did not give me a nice
formal goodbye. I wonder where he is right now and what he's doing I
hope he's ok.
-------------------------------------
Tommy
sat on a swing chair in the front porch of the Montana ranch. He
stared out to the trees. Natures aroma rising his senses. This has
been a crazy 2 dayshe thought to himself. His mind soon drifted
off to Jude. Shye seemed to be the star of his thoughts these
days.She probably hates me right about now. I left her hanging. I
know I couldn't have told her anything anyways. But I shouldn't have
left her the way I had did. Man, the look on her face when I got in
the car. I couldn't look back. I couldn't give her a hug. Because if
I did I wouldn't be doing what I'm supposed to do. I wish I knew how
she is doing. That she's not moping around like a complete wreck. But
she knows I'll be back. Someday...
--------------------------------------
Jude
was laying in her bed writing lyrics humming a beat to the words.
My
heart is hanging on string.
I
don't know what the future may bring.
Hope
is dangling on thread.
Everynight
I cry and just lay in bed.
I
keep trying to go on without you.
Don't
know if I can pull through.
Heart
is made of glass.
Don't
think the sadness will pass.
I
keep telling myself not to feel the way I do.
Lonely
days so blue.
I
just want one glimpse of you. Haven't seen your smile.
My
heart is so fragile.
Her
thoughts were stopped by a knock on the door. " Come in"
Jude said
"hey
little sister" Sadie said walking in
"Thought
you were going to hang out with Portia"
"
I am. I just wanted to see how you were holding up before I left"
"
I'm fine so you can go out and have fun now" Jude said picking
up her notebook.
"you
know you can come if you want to" Sadie suggested
"Really?"
"of
course. Get dressed" she said pulling Judes arm
"Ok.
Ok hold on I'm getting up" she said getting off the bed. Sadie
smiled and walked out of the room. JUde got changed into some
tathered jeans and a white wife beat that had beaded glitter flowers
on it. She put on her white chucks and ran downstairs. Sadie grabbed
her purse and walked out to Sadies bug. "We're going to meet
Portia at Cafe'Le" Sadie said getting in the car. Jude opened
the door and slowly got in. They got to the cafe. Jude and Sadie saw
Portia. They sat down at her table. Jude looked at Sadie then at
Portia thinking.Hmm why did I agree to go?. They ordered their
drinks then Judes mind drifted off to Tommy as Sadie and Portia
talked. I just wish that he'd call me she thought as she
looked down at her phone It feels like he just evaporated of the
face of the earth. Jude looked up at Sadie and Portia sipping her
cup acting like she was actually paying attention to what they were
saying. She couldn't think about anything else. At the point she
wished she had lost her memory. To just forget everything. The night
of her record release and Tommy most of all. Sadie looked at Jude
"Jude.." she said snapping her fingers in Judes face.
"What?" Jude said perking her head up.
"We're
going to go meet some of Portias friends"
"Umm
I walk home and you two can go" Jude said taking one last sip of
her coffee.
"
You sure"
"Yea"
"Alright"
Sadie said walking away with Portia. Jude slowly walked home. She
went straight upstairs and past out on her bed.
------------------------------------
A
week later. Tommy was sitting on a chair next to a bed where an ill
young woman is laying. A man walked into the room. "There's
nothing we can do for her"
"There's
got to be something. Just keep trying. I'm not going to let Susan
die"
"It's
just going to be the same as before. Nothing will turn her sickness
around"
The
woman opened her eyes. "Tommy.."
"Susan
you're awake. He's going to try to save you"
"Tommy
he can't help me. This is in Gods hands now"
"Susan
don't talk like this"
"I'm
so happy that you're here helping me but there's nothing he can do. I
know this for sure. I've known this for a long time"
"Don't
give up"
"Thank
you for being here Tommy you're such a great little brother" she
said slowly closing her eyes
"Susan"
he said moving her arm. She didn't move. The man ran over to her and
checked her pulse. He slowly shook his head. Tommy dropped his head
in his hands. A little girl walked in. "Mommy" she said in
a low tone.
Tommy
turned to her and got up. He picked her up and walked into the next
room. He didn't want to see his niece see it. He too couldn't take to
see it. A man who was crying walked to Tommy and picked up the little
girl. "Thanks for being here Tom"
"It's
no problem Richard. I'm so sorry"
"It's
okay. At least I'm still here to take care of Susan and mines little
girl"
"I.."
Tommy said starting to choke up "I'm going to get a drink of
water". He didn't want to stay in the house. Everything his
sister had touched. She was like his best friend. When his parents
scolded him for being in the music industry she stuck by him and now
she's gone.
