VEER OFF THE PATH

Once Lily Evans made up her mind, it was set in stone. Her course was set and she'd steer it herself.

Of course, James Potter was never included in that plan, that path.

"Excuse me," she mumbled as she tried vainly to push past James and Sirius, who were standing in front of the portrait hole. "I need to get in. Please move," she added when the boys didn't budge.

"Go out with me and I will," James said coolly, dragging his attention away from his conversation at the sound of Lily's voice. Sirius raised an eyebrow at this, but didn't comment.

"I said move," she said bitterly, shouldering him aside. Quickly she muttered the password to the portrait, which swung open. She climbed through, the boys following.

"Hey, Evans – why not?"

"Why not?" she repeated, slinging her book bag on a chair. "Because I don't bloody like you, that's why."

"No need for foul language," he said sourly. "A straight answer's all I need."

"Good, you've got it. Now please leave me alone."

"Why are you being such a twat?" he snapped.

"Why are you being such a wanker?" she challenged.

"Prat!"

"Toerag!"

"Arse!"

"Git!"

"Slag!"

Lily's head jerked back in surprise. "And you expect me to go out with you!"

"Yeah, I do," he said sourly. "It's not like you'd be missing out. I'm the most popular guy in fifth year!"

"Well, I'm the popular girl, and you don't see me strutting around like a bloody rooster!"

"More like waddling around like a fat cow," he scoffed. Lily's eye immediately sprung into tears and she tilted her chin up.

"Well," she said stiffly, "Fine figure you're cutting, Potter."

---

"Why are you so mad at me?"

"Because," she replied stubbornly, avoiding eye contact with him. "You're constantly calling people – including me – names, for one –"

"I already apologised for that!" James crossed his arms. "It's been a week. Let it go."

"Just because you say sorry doesn't mean I'll forgive you," Lily told him, slamming her books on the table. "Before I know it you'll be mouthing off left and right, calling me a Mu –"

"I would not." He frowned. "Besides, you called me names, too."

"Potter," she said wryly, leaning forward, "that's my job. It's a cycle, see. I call you names, you leave me alone. You just aren't doing you're part."

"But I don't want to leave you alone."

"That much is obvious."

He glared.

"Look," she sighed, "I was in a really horrible mood that day. Some bad things happened."

"Like what?"

"None of your business."

---

The Great Hall was empty – students were at classes, with only a few out enjoying stolen leisure time.

"Why did you ask me to skip Charms?" Lily questioned, crossing her arms. "You know we're doing Patronuses today."

"I don't think you'll need the help," he said. Lily flushed.

"You heard about that?"

"Everyone did. Your doe ran straight through the Great Hall, actually." The tone of James's voice was wistful, as if he were thinking of asking her something. He seemed to decide against it, running a hand through his hair and saying nothing more.

"I had to get help," Lily said blankly.

"I know."

"It was the second time I've seen him, you know."

"Yeah. I know." James didn't add that it was his second escape, either. It probably wouldn't help.

"I take it you heard the details?" Lily looked up.

"No," he admitted. "Dumbledore was pretty vague about it. That's actually what I was going to talk to you about, while everyone else was in class."

"You think other people haven't tried to weasel a story out of me?" she asked blatantly. "What makes you any more privileged?"

"First of all, I'm one of the few people Professor Dumbledore actually told. If he trusts me, I think you should, too. Second of all, it does concern me."

"Alright," Lily conceded, still looking hesitant. "You don't breathe a word of this to anyone."

---

"Hey, Lily, I heard you were attacked by Death Eaters!"

"Are you alright?"

"Was that before or after You-Know-Who showed up?"

"You jerk," Lily spat. "I told you not to tell!"

"I didn't," James said, clearly confused. They were in the quickly clearing corridor. Soon they'd be late for classes. "Not a soul, honest!"

"Look," she said, staring him straight in the eye. "I don't even care who knows or who told them. The fact is, there was way more to the story than I told you last night."

"I –"

"There was that day we got in a fight," she said quickly. "Remember?"

"Well, they all blur together, but vaguely."

"I was mad because I was scared. My parents sent me newspapers from England and it was all over – fog, buildings collapsing, kidnappings." Lily looked down. "I wanted to go home because I wanted to protect them, you know?"

"That's why you were out on the grounds," James realized. "You weren't just 'taking a walk', you were running away."

"That's one way to put it." She twiddled her thumbs. "Anyway, I guess I was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"You saw his followers."

"Yeah. And I sent the Patronus out –"

"Which everyone saw –"

"And I guess they must've, too, because they attacked me. And he came forward, and he –" her voice cracked, and she swallowed in vain. "He used the Cruciatus on me."

James swore under his breath, then once again, loudly. No one but Lily was left in the corridor to see him clench his fist in rage and stare up at the ceiling. After a few seconds of silence, he said very quietly, "And then?"

"And then it stopped," she said simply. "He told me that they were here for you."

"I still don't understand," he said sharply. "Why would they be after me? What did I do to him – or anyone?"

"Severus," she admitted quietly. "I should've seen it earlier."

"It still makes no sense."

"Now that the Ministry actually admits that he's a threat, he doesn't have many followers," Lily explained, shivering slightly. "They've all been captured and sent to Azkaban or Nurmengard. So I think he's protecting whoever's left."

"So it's true. Snivellus did commit."

"This summer," she told him. Her eyes were threatening to tear up again, but she didn't allow herself to go any farther, biting her lip.

"Look," James said softly. "Don't cry."

"I'm not crying." Lily sniffed.

"Well – er – I'm glad you didn't sell me out, anyway," he said. It was a futile attempt to distract her, but it helped none.

"You think I would've?" she demanded. "Bloody hell – Potter, you're the stupidest intelligent person I know."

"Hey!"

"Just that I may dislike you, and I won't date you doesn't mean I would turn you over to bloody Death Eaters!"

"I – er – really?"

"Yes, really." Lily dropped her book bag on the floor and slid down the wall to sit. "I'm not a coward."

---

"Go out with me, Evans." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. The previous month's events had, apparently, been forgotten on James's part.

"No," she said promptly, knowing and expecting the routine. Her friend surrounded her, looking slightly embarrassed and probably feeling like many fifth wheels.

"Why?" Now it was obvious to anyone passing what was going on – James and his group of friends, plus Lily and hers took up most of the hallway, stopping traffic like a clogged artery.

"Give me one good reason." Before he could reply, she added, "That was rhetorical!" And she continued away.

"Bloody hell," James said.

---

"Hi, Evans." James poked his head into the Prefects compartment. "Mind if I talk to you real quick?"

"Shoot," she said.

"It's not a question."

Lily glanced around at everyone in the compartment. Some shrugged; some motioned for her to go; others mouthed, "No!"

"Okay." She stood up.

Once outside the compartment, he started mumbling under his breath, staring at the floor. She didn't interrupt, seeing as how he seemed to be talking to himself.

Finally, he looked up and seemed to realize that she was still there.

"Oh – er –" he paused. "Iwaswonderingaboutthebeginningoftheyear."

"Excuse me?" Lily crossed her arms.

"I was…wondering about the beginning of the – er – school year."

"Oh, you mean the…"

"Yeah." James looked down again.

"What about it?"

"I wanted to ask you something. I just remembered it last night, and it's been bothering me since –"

"Erm… you know what you said about wanting to go home?" James, finally summoning his courage, looked her in the eye. "I want to know why you waited. How come you didn't just leave? Why wait a week?"

"That is a question, idiot," she said. "And – no reason, I guess." She shifted her weight to her right leg, searching his face.

"There must be a reason," he pressed. "Even a tiny one? You wanted to go to Hogsmeade that weekend. There was a Charms test."

"How do you know?" she asked.

"I went back and asked myself, 'What else was unusual about that week?'"

"Well," Lily said slowly… "It wasn't that."

"What was it?"

"You know, if I'd left, I would've had to leave the magical world forever," she said quickly. "I would've lost all my friends, not just –" she stopped.

"What?"

"Not – not just you." Her face flushed.

James stared.

"Now you know, okay?" she snapped, thought with only half her normal force. "I'll go back now." As she turned away, he caught her by the shoulder.

"Lily – thank you."

She didn't reply, only retreated back into her compartment.

---

"Lily!" Mrs. Evans enveloped her daughter in a hug before taking the cat carrier right out of her hands. "Here, I'll hold Snookers, you push the trolley. Dad's waiting in the car, let's go."

"Wait, Mum." Lily grabbed her mother's wrist. "I want to say goodbye to some people first. Can you watch my things?"

"Of course."

Lily pushed her way past the crowd of people getting off the Hogwarts Express, the train they'd taken back from school. Somewhere in the corner of her eye she saw Remus and Peter talking; off to her left was Sirius and his horrid mum. But James was nowhere in sight.

"Potter, you idiot," she said under her breath.

"Sorry, whatever I did."

She whipped around, and there was James in all his glory: uniform traded in for his "normal" clothes; hair mussed up as usual; a quirky grin on his face. Lily put her hands on her hips, exclaiming, "James Potter!"

"Yes'm?" he grinned even wider, looking like a doofus.

"I was looking for you. Where were you?"

"I was getting my trainers." He held up a pair of shoes in his left hand. "Left them on the train."

"…oh."

"Don't you have to go to Surrey?" he questioned. "It's a long drive; you should go."

"It's… not that long," she said uncertainly.

"For anyone who uses Floo half the time, it is," he corrected. "Look, did you have something to say or not?" His tone softened. "Because I'm listening."

"Yeah, I might," she said. "But I dunno if I can say this here."

"No one's listening," he assured her, glancing around. "Don't you know? In a crowd is the best place to tell secrets, because people could care less about what they could hear any day at any old train station."

"I suppose that does have a basis of fact," she mused. "But before I get carried away – it's not a secret. It's a question."

"Shoot," he said in a good imitation of her lofty manner. She smiled.

"Look… I want to know where we stand." Lily turned her face tot eh sky. "I mean, ever since that incident in October things have been really different."

"I don't know anymore, Evans." James ran a hand through his hair. "What do you call someone who saved your life?"

"A Life-Saver?"

He didn't laugh, not understanding the reference to Muggle candy. "And I dunno about the train."

"I'm sorry about that."

"No, don't' be. Just to clarify – what did you mean?"

Lily swallowed. "I assume you're referring to the 'not just you.'"

James nodded, and she laughed bitterly. "Well, I should've known. I've been replaying that moment over and over in my mind, trying to figure it out myself."

"So you don't know?" He was obviously disappointed.

"Oh, I know." Lily shifted her weight and stared past James's head in nervous habit. "I guess that I meant is that I would miss you."

"…oh." The 'oh' was very small. Very subdued. "Lily?"

"Yes?"

"Are you coming back next year?"

"Yes, James. I am."

When Lily Evans made up her mind, it was set in stone. This time, however, she decided it might be okay to veer off the path.

FIN