At the End of the Day
'Even my incredibly long life is too short for Les Miserables" – The Doctor
This fic is inspired by the above quote from the episode 'In the Forest of the Night', I also happen to love Les Miserables and thought I would write a short fic about what would happen should Clara drag the Doctor to see the show. Prepare for lots of Les Mis references - if you haven't seen or heard the soundtrack for this show I thoroughly recommend that you do – it's awesome!
"I said no Clara and no means no!" The Doctor protested. There was no way she was getting him to do this. No way on earth, Gallifrey or Raxacoriofallpatorius would the Doctor who this quite frankly disgusting activity with Clara Oswald.
"And I said yes Doctor and yes means yes!" Clara mimicked his Scottish accent mercilessly. "We are going."
"When you said you wanted to pick our Wednesday activity I thought you were going to pick something interesting, something fun, something alien!"
"Well technically, seeing as you are an alien, and this is a human activity, it's alien to you." Clara beamed at the look of shock on his face "I win!"
The Doctor glared at Clara and gripped the TARDIS console. He wasn't used to giving up this easily but he couldn't see any way out of the situation. He was stuck, Clara's logic was perfect and he could find no loopholes. He was going to have to grit his teeth and get on with it. No matter how much every fiber of his being was screaming at him to run as fast as he could in the opposite direction.
"Fine. FINE! You win. You win Clara. Les Miserables here we come."
AN HOUR LATER
Clara settled into her seat, closed her eyes and listened to the hum of the orchestra tuning. She really didn't do this enough considering she had always loved the theatre. Les Miserables was a particular favourite of Clara's as she felt she could connect with its themes of camaraderie, love and loss. The plot coupled with the beautiful melodies made the musical an absolute classic in her opinion.
The Doctor shifted in his seat and tried to drown out the sound of the orchestra tuning. His sensitive ears picked up every flat note, every squeak. He turned to Clara and hissed in her ear.
"Whoever is playing the trumpet in that pit needs to be fired. He's been a semi tone flat for five whole minutes now. If you can't tune a trumpet properly in under a minute then you don't deserve to be playing in a professional pit band!"
"Shut up" Clara hissed, "You're so embarrassing! Just sit there and hush will you? Act like a human for the next three hours and you'll be fine."
"Three?!" the Doctor whispered back, incredulous. "You told me two and a half!"
"Including the interval you idiot." The lights went down and Clara whacked the Doctor with her rolled up programme. "Sit there, shut up and enjoy. No excuses."
The Doctor slumped back in his seat and rested a hand on his temple. Three hours. Three whole hours of his precious life was about to be wasted on this drivel.
The conductor brought down his baton and the overture roared to life. Clara was instantly sucked in to the music and sat, transfixed as the lights came up on the stage, revealing the chain gang.
Look down, look down don't look them in the eye, look down, look down, you're here until you die.
THREE HOURS LATER
"Well firstly it was completely historically inaccurate"began the Doctor as they made an exit from the theatre. Clara rolled her eyes as she prepared herself for the barrage of whines and complaints she knew she would hear from the Doctor for the next couple of hours. At times like this, she reflected, it was best just to leave him to get on with it.
"I've been to the French revolution and I know for a fact that there was no barricade and no students and none of it at all." He continued to prattle on 'And anyway even if there had been a barricade and students and cute little French kids getting shot at, there's no way it would have actually solved any conflict at all…"
Clara sighed as they located the TARDIS. Next time she fancied a trip to see a musical she would go on her own, it really wasn't worth this moaning from the Doctor just to have a pal to watch shows with.
"Was there any aspect of the show that you enjoyed?" she probed "the music maybe? I think the lyrics are quite beautiful in parts."
The Doctor turned to face Clara and placed his hands on her shoulders.
"At the end of the day Clara I feel about one hundred years older, never mind one year older. And that's not all you can say for the life of a time lord, as there is much more I can use my time for than Les sodding Miserablerghhhh. Never again."
Clara once more rolled her eyes skyward. She wasn't going to get him to admit to liking any of it. Best to quit while you're ahead girl, she thought.
"Ok Doctor, point taken, now if you don't mind" she said, shrugging his hands from her shoulders "I'm going to bed, good night!"
The Doctor continued to mutter darkly to himself as he paced around the console, making lists in his head of trips to take Clara on for at least the next two years so that he would never have to ask her to pick their Wednesday trip again.
TWO DAYS LATER
A couple of days later after a particularly straining adventure Clara found the Doctor in the library humming to himself. Creeping closer Clara was able to make out a melody in his humming. She smiled to herself and struggled to hold back the laugh threatening to rise from her throat. The Doctor's humming got louder and became an actual melody, an actual melody with actual words…
"And so Javert you see it's true, this man bears no more guilt than you, who am I? WHO AM I? 24601!"
Unable to hold it in any longer Clara let a laugh escape. The Doctor span around, aghast to see his willful little companion stood in the doorway cracking up at his performance. He straightened up and cleared his throat.
"Well I suppose some of it was quite catchy I suppose…"
"Yep, some of it" laughed Clara, tears now streaming from her eyes, "I'll leave you to it then… Jean Valjean..."
As Clara walked off, still cackling, the Doctor felt his face burn crimson horror red. It wasn't embarrassing enough that she had caught him singing, but now she knew that he's actually quite enjoyed their musical journey to the French revolution.
"This doesn't mean we can go again Clara!" he shouted after her, desperate to keep some control over the situation. "We are not going again!"
Soft footsteps padded back toward him and Clara appeared once more, still smirking, with her iPad in hand.
"Too late, I've booked us some more tickets for two months time. Put it in your diary… time lord'
"Can't we just skip ahead two months and get it over with?" he huffed.
"Nope!" she grinned, "it'll give you something to look forward to! "Now get back to the console and take me home, this has all been too much excitement for one day!"