Ranma Goes Insane!
Ranma had recently arrived back at the Tendo dojo after a long day of hearing "Ranma you jackass" and "Ranma Hentai No Baka!" while being narrowly missed by implements of extreme pain.
"I hope I just get to bed without hearing just one more comment. Why can't they learn I love Shampoo?
His wish was not to be granted.
"Ranma you owe me money!"
"Marry Akane and ensure the joining of our schools!"
"You dishonor me, boy."
"Ranma, won't you sit down to dinner?"
Ranma let out a squeal like a stuck pig and fell over unconscious.
Poor Ranma! But more than that, poor Nerima!
Ranma awoke the next morning and started making odd noises. This is what he said:
YEEBLEDY FRONK FRONK GROOGLE SQUINKING!
Needless to say, the entire Tendo household rushed in and stood at the doorway looking at Ranma frothing at the mouth singing Weird Al Yankovitch at the top of his lungs, off key and almost at the frequency only dogs can hear.
"I LOVE ROCKY ROAD, FORGET THE TASTE SPOON GIMME A GALLON BABY I LOVE ROCKY ROAD SO HAVE ANOTHER TRIPLE SCOOP WITH ME!"
is what the Tendos, one very distressed panda, and a small black piglet heard.
"Um, Ranma? Are you okay?
"NEVER BEEN STUPIDER, EDDY!"
The piglet suddenly seemed to have an idea, and rushed to the furo, returning a few seconds later as Ryoga.
"Akane, since Ranma's gone bonkers, will you marry me?"
"RYOGA OLD BUDDY! HAVE A POTATO!"
said Ranma as he lifted a lethal–looking piece of PVC piping with one end capped and a fuse burning onto his shoulder.
The resulting blast propelled Ryoga through several buildings and a flaming hoop set up by a group of sentient guinea pigs trying to take over the world.
Guinea pig 1: What was that?
Guinea pig with abnormally large brain: Oh that was just Ryoga being propelled by a potato shot from a potato gun wielded by an insane Ranma due to his case of MFS.
Guinea pig 1: MFS?
Guinea pig with abnormally large brain: Multiple Fiancée Disorder. Thankfully, we guinea pigs, being multigamous(I.E. having multiple wives), do not suffer from the terrible disorder.
Guinea pig 1: Um, disorder doesn't start with S.
Guinea pig with abnormally large brain: Oh, right. (nods for a few seconds before doing a double-take) RANMA'S GONE INSANE? RUN FOR THE HILLS!
Guinea pig 1, guinea pig 2, Guinea pig with abnormally large brain, Guinea pig not-appearing-in-this-fanfic, and Guinea pig with abnormally large brain's brightly colored minion Flo all run for the hills(I.E. Mount Fuji).
Meanwhile, back at the ranch…
Several cowboys are standing around and all get hit with anvils.
Back at the Tendo household…
Ranma is laffing insanely and waving a poodle that is yelling "Oh dear oh dear oh dear woof woof woof bark bark yippity arf!"
Soun Tendo: Oh dear Ranma can't marry if he's insane!
Genma (Not a panda because of a swarm of Pikachu spraying him with a hot water hose): I can fix that. RANMA SNAP OUT OF IT!
Ranma: POPS OLD BUDDY! HAVE A POODLE!
Ranma chucks the poodle at Genma, where it proceeds to hump his leg.
Genma: HELP THERE'S A POODLE HUMPING MY LEG!
Poodle: Awooo! (NO, I'M NOT TRANSLATING THAT.)
We're sorry, this has exceeded its insanity index. We now cut in with something totally beside the point.
Buh-barbarian, buhbuh-barbarian
Dave the barbarian, strong but a wimp
His sisters Fang and Candy are a princess and a chimp "NOT A MONKEY!"
(Feminine)
Their mom and dad are the queen and king of the land of Ud-ro-goth! (Dada da da da)
They left to battle evil and now Can-dy is the … BOOOSSSS!
Buh-barbarian, buhbuh-barbarian
Dave, Fang and Can-dy
Bold and brave they're not
They ain't our greatest heroes, but they're the only ones we've got-barbarian
Buhbuh-barbarian buh-barbarian buhbuh-barbarian buh-barbarian
Dave: Bejabers!
We now return you to your regularly scheduled weirdness. Thank you for swearing at the computer and its advanced state of retardedness.
Ranma: FANGED LINOLEUM!
Poodle: And a happy new year!
Ranma: THE COUCH IS TRYING TO KILL ME!
The couch, of course, said nothing.
Meanwhile, at the base of mount Fuji…
Guinea pig 1: I think we can use Ranma's insanity to our advantage.
Other guinea pigs: Hmmm….
What do the Guinea Pig Group (GPG: Fear us and our Really High Pitched Squeals) Have as their nefarious (yet oh-so-cute) Plan! How will the Fiancees deal with it! Will they get Ranma's potato gun away from him! Will Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends make a cameo! Your Reviews decide!
Tune in next time, same insane site, same insane writer!