Because I Don't Exist
Spoilers: None really, maybe a Season 4 teaser...oh and The Day We Died Majorly
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone but Emma
My name was to be Emma Catherine Bishop but that's not my name because I don't exist. I would never have a father who taught me piano or a mother who sang me to sleep. I would never have two brothers and two sisters in the future. I would never see my aunt gush over my siblings and perhaps me, I would never play with my cousin. I would never do crazy things with my grandfather because I don't existe.
I would have been smart and intelligent; I would have had olive eyes and curly blond hair. I would have been Cortexiphan positive with telekinesis and empathy as my only abilities. I would have been born on November 22, 2011, on my mother's birthday. I would have opened my eyes for my father first but cried first for my mother. I would have weighed six pounds and seven ounces, been twenty-one inches long and a week late. Dad would have called my stubborn and all Dunham, Mom would have called me perfect and just as much a Bishop as my father and grandfather. My birth would have settled a universal war…my biological grandfather giving up upon news of my birth.
I would have started walking at nine months and talking by eleven. My first word would have been 'Dada' but 'Mama' would have followed very quickly. I would have had a birthday party that I shared with my mother, my enjoyment her only present worth having…except for the ring my dad would have put on her finger.
I would have been loved and cared for, protected and precious. I'd meet my baby brother four months later and would have helped protected him. I would have been the best big sister in the world. I would have been the flower girl at Mom and Dad's wedding after my last sister was born…I would have been seven.
I would have gone to high school at age twelve, graduated at sixteen and went to college. I would have graduated from MIT at the age of twenty and went on to be part of Fringe Division despite my parents' wishes. I would have made them proud…I would have found a way to keep two worlds from dying, solve the hostility between my families. I would have even met my older brother; introducing him to my best friend…he'd marry her thanks to me. Henry would have come to call my mother 'Mom' on occasion and called my father 'Dad' most times despite having his own father on the other side.
However, I will never do any of this…I will never be because I ceased to exist the day my father made the decision to save my mother. He made the right decision but in the wrong time frame…creating a paradox that could not be. So both Henry and I cease to exist, my mother and his mother are both changed…my mother especially.
As I sit in this limbo, well aware of my father…just as he is aware of us, I wonder if he would have loved me as much as he loved my mother. He doesn't talk to us; he's too upset and angry at himself. He said 'hello' once and asked us who we were…when I told him he looked as if he'd cry before retreating. I guess I got my answer…he's angry because he made it impossible for me to live.
He made it impossible for my mother to love me, to hold me and rock me. He took away her greatest want in life…to be a mother. I didn't know Mom wanted that so much but apparently Dad did. Henry and I both see and realize whose mother wins the fight and we both seem okay with it…me especially. Henry however just asked one thing and I only had one answer.
"Will my mother ever be loved like Dad loves your mother?"
I smiled, "yes."
"Then I guess you and I are okay…sis."
So we sit, the three of us together yet apart waiting for something to happen…for someone to remember and eventually Mom would…but she'd never see me while Henry would return. Simply because I don't exist…I can never return to the place in my mother's womb, where I disappeared from the day Dad made his decision. That is why Mom feels so empty now…she lost two people, not just one.
A/N: Just a point of view from a child who got erased and would never see the light of day...eight days till Fringe. YAY!