Woo! This should be fun. I'll try to make each chapter at least a thousand words, to be fair.

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. Or anything from Saturday Night Live. Or the Swan Princess. Just a note for future chappies.

Setsuna leaned against the Gates of Time and closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. The week had not been going well at all. The sheer amount of cold-shouldering, hostility, and speech avoidance of the past few days was basically threatening to pile up and avalanche on the Senshi of Time. And it was only Wednesday.

She had time to change the course of all this social destruction, of course, (just look at her job title!) but the mere thought of all the work ahead got her procrastinating like a high school student. It was not a becoming habit for one with her duty, and Setsuna comforted herself with knowledge gained only through omniscience that the chance of youma attacks or powerful fighters with wicked intentions popping up anywhere in the next three years was to be, essentially, nil.Worst of all, she had never had an assistant in a thousand years, so she would have to fix everything all by herself. The prospect did not promise to be fun.

At that, Setsuna adopted a thoughtful expression. There was one person who could help her. Nevertheless, the Senshi of Time hesitated. The friend in question was one whom she could trust...most of the time. That wasn't the problem. What was the problem was that she had a way of blackmailing and threatening the dominoes to fall into place instead of making them arrange themselves and then knock each other down, to put it poetically. Still, messes rarely cleaned themselves up, and the fact remained that her friend was the one most...uniquely suited for the job.

Settling down in front of the Time Gates, Setsuna crossed her legs Indian-style, took a deep breath, and concentrated. This was the trouble of creating a mind link between them in case situations like this would arise; you had to get seriously focused. Eventually, she would reach out far enough to "connect her plug" into the link. Then all would be left would be to wait for the other end to pick up and answer to stabilize the telepathy line. There was a short mental squeeze as Setsuna jacked in. Always uncomfortable, mercifully brief. While waiting for her contact to send a reply, the Senshi of Time mulled over the events of the past three days.

Yet the damned thing was that there weren't any events; no noticeable or remarkable ones, at least. Setsuna had known that Haruka and Michiru's relationship had been under strain for some time, although Setsuna couldn't answer as to why even with a ion cannon aimed right at her head. Those two had become near masters of hiding their emotions. Setsuna briefly figured that that in itself may have been one of the reasons why the other Senshi, excluding herself and Hotaru, hadn't warmed up to them as fast as they had to each other, then dismissed the thought. Her friend couldn't be long now, and Setsuna needed to chew over the situation a bit more.

Next on the list was...oh dear...Hotaru and ChibiUsa.

It's so weird how history repeats itself. Setsuna used to find the phrase funny, but when she took her first look at Hotaru and ChibiUsa together, she found it almost eerie. For in her mind's eye, she had seen her full-grown colleagues instead of a prime example of young love. And that was another thing that was so strange; Hotaru and ChibiUsa had, from her understanding of it, been very much in love. So much that it baffled everyone when the two girls had leaped at each other and tried to have a wrestling match right there on the dining table halfway through the main course one night. They were pulled apart and given a stern lecture by each of their parents; at least Hotaru had, judging from the voices floating down the hall to Setsuna's room.

When they were finally allowed to be near each other again, the glares in their eyes seemed to have the capacity to kill. The whole thing had confused Setsuna in a way she never had been before and sincerely hoped she never would be again.

Of course, who could forget the Soldiers of Ice and Thunder? The two were always near the other, always finding some reason to brush hands, always blushing at the strangest of moments. Everyone knew, it seemed, but them. Setsuna sighed. She couldn't tell any more which one was more like Haruka when it came to obliviousness; Makoto, or Ami. As hard as it was to believe that the brunette had missed all the signs, it was almost doubly hard to believe that the genius did too. They were both smart, attentive, reacting people all other circumstances. If the others hadn't been fighting about this, that and the other, the young Kino and Mizuno might have figured it out on their own without all the drama going on in the background. Bless them, they simply had bad timing.

There was no telling what was going on with Usagi and Mamoru. Their relationship was always skirting the fringes of weirdness. The same went for Rei and Minako, although Setsuna had a few choice fantasies regarding the Senshi of Love...that she heartily smacked herself about afterwards while repeating aloud about how it would never happen. The pining Meioh smirked as she thought of a certain something she kept hidden in her study, in the desk drawer with the false bottom. It didn't take away the pain, but it certainly helped vent it.

She suddenly smiled. Her partner had finally gotten her message.

"Hello there, Setsuna. What brings a mind like yours out so late on a school night?"

"I am having...difficulties...in keeping order with my Senshi."

The voice from the other end of the telepathic link laughed dryly. It meant that a germ of some crazy idea was already forming in her head, and knowing her it would revolve around one of two things; cat-and-mouse games, or pure and utter chaos. Setsuna wondered if she would come to regret the decision to include her in this. She was an good friend, very kind, surprisingly wise, but she came with the risk of just driving the other girls even more up the wall. She could be very tactful, very understanding, but at the same time totally confusing and almost painfully blunt.

"Oh, I know that. It's sort of entertaining to watch them all bicker over something so easy to solve, though. Do you really have to fix it now?"

Setsuna smiled, but only with her eyes. Her mouth remained a firm line so her voice could be firm, and therefore keep her contact on topic and in line. "You're the devil."

"One could say the same for you. You always spoil my fun."

"Well, how do you propose I do that?"

The other girl immediately launched into an explanation, eager to fill Setsuna in on every little detail of her plan. The Senshi of Time nodded in approval, although she knew that it couldn't be seen. It was nothing short of amazing how something so ingenious could be concocted in such a short period of time. The plan of action left nothing uncovered; the rest of the Senshi would wind up making up and/or coming out, completely blind to the little pushes and prods Setsuna and her cohort would provide. The guardian of the Time Gates felt quite like a toddler who was plotting to trip his babysitter right into a closet and lock her in there to clear the way for cookies.

It felt invigorating, almost.

Grinning, Setsuna broke off the mental link and made off for home. A quick peek into the future showed that the Time Gates would be perfectly safe for as long as she would need. Joyous over the stroke of good luck, Setsuna increased her speed. Part of her felt eager for the morrow. The look on all of their faces would be so perfect. As she hopped down onto the front lawn of the house she shared with Haruka, Michiru, and Hotaru, Setsuna couldn't help but voice part of her speech out loud.

"In other words, I am shanghaiing the lot of you. Pack your bags, everyone. We leave in an hour."