Heroes and Medical Examiners

"We know this isn't your job, but we need you to go to the medical examiners to help us with our case," the chief of police said, handing Hiro a folder with the victim's name on the tab.

It's been a risk allying with the police force without hiding their identities, but it proved useful. They now almost had full government permission, save a few cases in which case the officers on duty at that would time "overlook". It's taken them a few months to get there, but getting into the police station and being given tasks were new and, despite the fact that they were soon to be tedious, were new and exciting.

It was the reason why Hiro and the team were in the SFPD station (in the chief's office to be more exact).

"I… guess." Hiro replied uncertainly.

Gogo (who was grumpy because the chief made her spit out her gum in the trash can before she walked in the office) glared.

"Why? It's not at all our job."

Before the chief of police could answer, a passerby officer snickered.

"Because no one else will." before walking off.

The chief looked conflicted between giving the police officer a scolding or assuring the team. It seemed she had decided she could just talk to him later, because the chief turned to the group.

"Listen, it's nothing to worry about . It's just that the two that work there today are, ah, well… To begin, they're good at what they do. We wouldn't have hired them if they weren't. But, um, they're," the chief of police sighed out her nose, "They're just off."

The group exchanged looks. They couldn't be that bad… right? They knew a good amount of people that would say that they were "off" too. This would be fine.

Hiro shrugged, "Sure, if no one else will."

"Is anyone else wondering if this was a mistake?" Wasabi asked as they walked through the hallways of the building (after showing the front desk the SFPD warrant), "Those guys at the station were sticking as we left, and the girl at the front desk said 'good luck'."

Yeah, so there were signs of bad news. A lot of them. But all they had to do was get an overlook on the body, get an analysis, add them to the files, and boom. Done.

Honey Lemon shrugged, "I'm sure they're just… eclectic. Like us."

Gogo glanced at Fred, who was rambling about what if there was a zombie amongst the dead bodies or something like that.

"Let's hope not him." she added.

They team nodded in agreement and they made their way into the room where the victim, 32 year old Eliza Rye, was lying on the examination table. From there, a large, hulking man approached them.

"Hey, you the police?" he asked.

Hiro fumbled a bit.

"Uh, yeah. Well, no, but we were sent by them." To prove his statement, Hiro held up the papers with their authenticity.

The large man huffed and nodded.

"Hey, Vanny!" he called, "Break's over, we got the police here for Eliza Rye's autopsy!"

A female voice ringing from the opposite end of the room caused the large man to sigh.

"She's coming," he said, and went back into the back office to finish up the paper work.

'Vanny' came running in, pulling her white lab coat over her mint and pink-striped tee-shirt and brown leggings. She was eating something, as the man that had 'greeted' them before noticed.

"Hey, Van; no food near the body." he said, almost playfully.

'Van' or 'Vanny' (Hiro had no idea what that nickname could even stand or) threw her hand over her heart and faked a distressed look.

"Why, Ralph? Why would I ever?" she said, putting down the chocolate bar and flicking it onto the ramp of the staircase pulling on plastic gloves and making her way over to the victim (and the team).

"Hey'a. Sooo I'm Vanellope. No. Not Penelope. Vanellope. Like Vanilla and Penelope mashed together to form one sad, sad name," Vanellope rolled her eyes, "Just get it right the first time and you'll never have to hear that explanation again."

Hiro and the rest of the team nodded uncertainly.

Vanellope hummed as she pulled up files on Eliza Rye. Something about wanting to be a race car driver and the irony of it all now. Made sense. Although, she was young, almost too young to be a medical examiner. She must've graduated high school early like he did. So why was she complains about what could be like she was an old lady or something? Not that examining dead bodies wasn't already exciting enou—

"So," Vanellope said, "We have one missing kidney, two mild concussions, and the rubbing of joints, indicating Eliza had an early onset of arthritis."

Hiro scrunched his brow.

"What do those things have in common," he asked, mostly to himself.

Vanellope answered anyway.

"They don't. Her kidney was donated to her younger brother when she was twenty, the concussions were caused by her love of soccer in her youth…er, I guess, youthful-ler; she's not that old, and the early arthritis was mostly likely due to the love of soccer as well."

Hiro glared.

"Then can you tell us the REAL reason Eliza Rye's died?" he asked.

"Yeah," Wasabi added, "You know she's dead-dead, right? Like the never-coming-back kind of dead?"

Vanellope raised an eyebrow, "There's another kind of dead?" After a beat of thick silence, Vanellope sighed. "Sorry, sorry… I guess I'm around this stuff so often I'm just kinda… desensitized."

The group nodded. They could accept that.

After hearing the real death examination (Eliza had been hit three days before and never went to the doctors, where they would have noticed internal bleeding in the skull), the team left the medical examination building to return to the station.

Honey Lemon sighed as they walked to the tram (Wasabi's car wasn't big enough for all of them).

"I don't get why the police hate them so much," she said.

"I know," Gogo added, "They made it sound like they ate dogs and cats for meals or something."

"I've eaten a Dingo before!" Fred added.

"Nice…" Wasabi said as they boarded the trolley.

Hiro shrugged, "I could see why those guys would get on the officer's nerves. I mean, Vanellope gave us some random facts that could have totally thrown us off."

Honey Lemon smiled and shook her head.

"I'm sure we would have been fine."

"Besides," Gogo added, "they cut open dead bodies for a living. I don't think they have much of a social life."

Hiro sighed. He wanted to mention Vanellope's age, but he didn't want it to be taken… the wrong way. It wasn't like it was important though, right? Just really, really weird, considering Vanellope didn't even seem like that was the job she was going for.

"Hey," Wasabi said, waving his hand in front of Hiro's face, "Anyone home?"

Hiro rolled his eyes and nodded.

"Yup."

"So, you have the papers?"

Hiro, who had empty hands, searched through his backpack, then looked up at the group sheepishly.

"I think I left them there."

There was an unanimous groan.

A/N: Because this is going in three, four, maybe five places, you're either reading this in: , Wattpad, AO3, DeviantArt, or Tumblr. The following is phrased for , but it's not like it's an alien language or something ;)

So, not too bad, right? I mean, no fluff. Just… like… a head cannon, almost.

So, yes, this is a one-shot. BUT I left the opportunitiy for it to be a multi-chap up to YOU. If enough of you request it, I'll make this multi-chap. If not, oh well. Nice little one-shot for everyone.

R&R

~Sam