"Is there something you want to tell me your Royal felineness?" Tony spoke into his StarkPhone from where he was hiding around the corner from his kitchen.
"I do not believe so?" T'Challa sounded amused at his American friend.
"Let me rephrase. Are you missing something? Perhaps with a metal arm?" Tony deadpanned.
"Ah." T'Challa hummed.
"Seriously, what the hell kitty cat." Tony hissed as his eyes darted back to the kitchen.
"What is he doing?" T'Challa sounded interested and Tony wanted to bang his head against the wall next to him.
"Cooking… Pancakes I think… He's sporting a man bun T'Challa! A man bun! How does he even know what those are?" Tony stated as he took in the sight of James 'Bucky' Barnes in his kitchen making pancakes with an intense look and long hair thrown up in a messy man bun.
"His arm has been disabled and is not a threat any longer. He simply wanted to right a wrong he did. He also asked not for Captain Rogers to be made aware of him leaving cryo." T'Challa explained. Tony scrubbed a hand down his face, wincing when he heard that Barnes had been back in cryo.
"Alright, alright I'll hear him out and try not to die in the process." Tony jabbed his phone with his thumb, times like these he missed being able to flip the phone shut or slam it down. Tony ran his hands through his hair as he steadied himself to come face to face with someone from his nightmares.
"So are you adding chocolate chips or blueberries in those?" Tony asked as he entered the room, making noise so the solider knew he was there wouldn't attack him out of the blue.
"Both?" The solider turned to look at Tony with a hesitant look on his face, a bit of batter stuck on his cheek making Tony bite back a smile at the sight.
"Both, now that is the right choice." Tony grinned as he slid onto a breakfast stool. The solider relaxed and started to stir the batter again, not looking away from Tony.
"So who am I talking to right now? The Winter Solider or Sergeant Barnes? Don't give me that look, I know a split personality when I see one or two." Tony waved off the startled look Barnes gave him.
"Plus I may have read your files and what no one seems to get is that after being pulled between both the Solider and the Sergeant your mind creates personalities for both as a defensive measure."
"I think… I'm the Sergeant right now, but I can feel him… The Solider in the background he is assessing your threat level and what I can use to kill you." Barnes said in a quiet hesitant voice.
"Well tell him the large knife on the right would be the best option and make sure it's a clean kill, blood is a bitch to get out of tile." Tony said as he started to scroll through the feed on his phone.
"…The Solider likes you." Barnes' eyebrows furrowed together and Tony shot him a grin.
"Well I'll withhold judgment until we meet, but hey if you're making pancakes stay as long as you want." Tony grinned as he bought up designs for Peter's suit.
"…Thank you." Barnes said in a small voice and Tony hummed as the two fell into a comfortable silence.
And that was how Tony met Sergeant James Barnes.
~~/~~
When Tony met the Winter Solider it was of course in a dangerous situation. Somebody had kidnapped his favorite spider kid and Tony didn't take kindly to when people touched his things.
"Mission objective?" Barnes asked Tony, silently appearing on the rooftop that Tony had landed on letting FRIDAY scan the area for the tracker he may or may not have put into the suit he gave to Peter back in Germany.
"Mission… Right, who am I talking with right now?" Tony asked as it clicked into place why Barnes sounded so robotic.
"I am the Winter Solider." Barnes replied steadily.
"I'm gonna call you Winter then, alright Winter the objective of this mission is search and recuse. Someone had the balls to kidnap my spider kid and I don't like it. So get in, save the kid and get out and no harming of innocents." Tony ordered surprising himself as he fell into position of Handler for Winter easily.
"Mission objective accepted." Winter nodded as FRIDAY informed both of them of where the tracker had Peter located.
"Be your stealthy self Winter and I'll be myself and draw their attention." Tony fired up his repulsors as he took off towards the building that was only a few down for their location. Tony didn't need FRIDAY to inform him that Winter was following close behind on the rooftops.
Tony cheerfully blasted the metal doors open and flew in with AC/DC blaring from his suit, eyes narrowing as his HUD showed him where his little spider was hiding and Tony punched and blasted all the hired gun's until none where standing.
"Boss we seem to have a stand off between Winter and Deadpool over who is going to retrieve Spiderman." FRIDAY informed Tony sounding far too amused for an AI.
"Deadpool, oh you have to be kidding me." Tony felt a headache coming on, how did his little spider kid get involved with Deadpool of all people?
Tony entered the room, flipping up his face plate at the sight of Winter and Deadpool tangled together on the floor, knives pressed to the other's throats while Peter was shaking his head from where he was sitting against a wall, his suit torn up but his mask was still mostly intact. He was rubbing at his wrists and broken metal cuffs were sitting by his thighs on the ground.
"You okay Spiderkid?" Tony asked as he knelt next to Peter letting FRIDAY scan Peter for obvious injuries.
"It's Spiderman." Peter snarked back absently before his head turned to look at Tony fully and the eyes widened as it clicked into his mind who he was talking to.
"Ironman! Why are you here and who is that and why does he look familiar?" Peter's voice got higher as questions spilled out of his mouth unfiltered as per usual for the teenager.
"I'm insulted you need to ask why I'm here, you're one of mine now kid so of course I came when I heard you were spider-napped." Tony gently patted the kid's ribs; glad when he didn't feel any broken.
"As for who that is, come on you don't recognize him? You kicked his and Falcon's ass back in Germany with your web-slinging skills. He's sort of a houseguest at the tower right now, I'll explain later. Right now get your Deadpool to stop trying to kill him."
"Deadpool back off." Peter called out sounding exhausted and instantly Deadpool was at his side, not even caring about the blood that was staining the neck of his uniform from Winter's blade.
"You okay baby boy?" Deadpool asked real worry in his voice making Tony raise an eyebrow.
"Mission complete?" Winter asked while curiously watching the way Deadpool fluttered around Peter and the stuttering and reassuring Peter was doing,
"Not until we get the kid back to the tower for rest." Tony amended the mission outline and got a firm nod in response.
"I will secure the route back to the tower, follow when I give the go ahead." Winter disappeared into the shadows just like that.
"So who is tall, dark and roguishly handsome?" Deadpool asked Tony as he stood up, holding a protesting Peter tight to his chest. "Don't worry baby boy you'll always be my number one."
"Shut up Deadpool." Peter sounded pouty but Tony would bet that under that mask he was a blushing mess. Ugh teenage hormones and that means 'the talk' must be had soon and when did Tony sign up to become a Dad again?
"That's the Winter Solider/Sergeant Barnes, it's complicated." Tony flipped his faceplate back down.
"Oh split personalities, I gotcha tin man." Deadpool made a clicking noise with his tongue and Peter 'oh'ed from his place in the Merc's arms.
"I can't wait to officially meet them, you don't think they are still annoyed that I webbed them so much back in Germany do you?" Peter asked worried and Tony felt lighter somehow at the knowledge that Peter had already accepted Winter/Barnes.
"He doesn't seem to hold a grudge otherwise he wouldn't have helped save your skinny UNDERAGE ass." Tony said with a pointed look at Deadpool who just whistled and scurried out of the room when Winter reappeared to give them the go ahead.
"Remind me to find out if I can ground that kid later would you Winter dear?" Tony held his hand out to Winter offering a lift back to the tower while keeping an eye on Deadpool and Spiderman.
"Being able to ground Spiderman would make a parental figure." Winter stated as he hesitantly took the offered arm and clung to Tony's suit with his metal arm that Tony really had to take a look at soon.
"I know and isn't that terrifying?" Tony shuddered before he took off silently noting the way that Winter looked around in awe at the sight of New York from his view as they headed back to the tower.
~~/~~
Tony wasn't the first to meet James, no that privilege was all HYDRA's when they came after one Harley Keener.
Tony may have told them about his time spent in Rose Hill during the Mandarin incident. They were a surprisingly attentive listener unlike someone else he could mention.
Tony did notice that between the two of them they were creating and adding to separate lists and when asked they simply replied that Barnes was in charge of the list containing people who allowed to continue live because they helped Tony and the other list contains people who had to be killed for hurting him. Tony did not get a warm feeling his chest when told this no he did not thank you very much!
Anyways Tony had no idea how they found out that Harley had been kidnapped by HYDRA (he suspected FRIDAY as she had such a soft spot for the long haired man), but he did and went on a solo mission to retrieve the young, adorable blond from the clutches of evil.
Tony had been helping Spiderman deal with some creepy tentacle guy (Doctor Octopus or something just as creepy) while this had happened and only found out when he and Peter entered the kitchen to see the little blond sitting there wrapped in blankets, too big clothes and bandages while basically being mother-hened by the long haired man who still was in his black uniform and eye paint.
"Tony! Oh it was so cool! James came in like pow and bang and ka-boom and saved me!" Harley all but threw himself onto his favorite mechanic.
"James?" Tony looked up from the small blond who was hugging his waist while blabbering excitedly, his hand resting atop of the mop of blond hair that had grown since their last video chat.
"Yeah… We worked together and there is no more fighting… More like we…" James struggled for the right word.
"Merged, you merged together willingly!" Peter breathed out looking amazed and excited. After they had first officially met after his recuse the teen had taken to both Barnes and Winter like a fish out of water.
"Are you happy?" Tony asked as he heaved Harley up onto his hip before placing the squirt onto his chair.
"Yes… I think I am." James said giving the three in front of him a small, genuine smile.
"Excellent! This calls for celebration, James pancakes please!" Tony cheered while Peter took a seat next to Harley and the two started to talk and before long the two were ranting about science and laughing happily.
Tony leaned back against a nearby wall as he took in the sight of James (still wearing that sinfully tight black uniform, the one thing HYDRA did right) mixing batter with a wooden spoon while putting his two cents into the conversation that Peter and Harley were having and stepped in when it turned into bickering. Tony felt a smile creep across his face and a thought entered his head.
Was this what a real family looked like? Was this his family now? Was this what a home was?
'Yes,' Tony thought was the answer to all. If only he could get James to his workshop to work on that arm then Tony would be content.