1 Right out the door
By Nari-chan
Summary: I am a BIG anti-Ron shipper, so I decided to get rid of him. But I've always been a sucker for humor…this fic shows how stupid and pathetic Ron is and how bloody mad I am! Darn…just quoted Ron! Ignore that, it wasn't me!
WARNING: THIS FIC INCLUDES MARY-SUE BASHING AND RON BASHING! IT ALSO CONTAINS BLOWPOPS, MUGGLE-TOASTERS, AND MANY OTHER ANNYOING THINGS!
DISCLAIMER: Ron belongs to J.K.Rowling, thank god! If he were mine I'd shoot myself…
* * *
It was the best of times…it was the worst of times. Actually, it was breakfast time, but that's beside the point.
Ronald Weasley woke to hear birds chirping, twigs snapping, wind blowing, and animals mating. It was a beautiful sunny day with rainbows in the sky, and a light breeze blowing in the east.
Ron rolled over and noticed that he would be late for breakfast. Jumping up he took a shower and proceeded to get dressed, not noticing that he had dressed in some women's lingerie. (A/N: I wonder where that could have come from…looks like Ron's been up to something…)
* * *
Ron made it just in time for breakfast to begin. On a sugar high, he sat down on Hermione, who proceeded to slap him and shove him off of her.
"Ah! Mione, I was just jokin!"
"Prat!"
"Babe!"
"Scarecrow!"
"My little wh-"
"STUDENTS! I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE OUR NEW STUDENT! PLEASE WELCOME MARY- SUE PERFECT!"
(A/N: Heres where I get to rant on about her looks…joy ^_)
The hall erupted into cheers as a girl walked in. She had long, luscious ebony hair that fell into soft curls around her shoulders. Her eyes were a sapphire color that sparkled like the sky on a bright…bright starry night! She was tall and slim, and had pale white skin that shone like moonlight. She looked about fifteen, which was revealed almost immediately by Professor Dumbledore, who also stated she was a transfer student from America…Louisiana or something! She was indeed a sight to behold.
"Perfect, Mary-Sue!" Professor McGonagall called out.
Mary-Sue walked up to the sorting hat and muttered something about germs. McGonagall shoved the hat onto her head, and she cried as dust settled over her.
"GRYFFINDOR!" The hat screamed almost immediately. Mary-Sue skipped over to their table and by oh so accident sat right next to the *cough* hero *cough* of our story, Ron Weasley.
"Your Ron, aren't you?" She muttered silkily in that annoying nightingale voice of hers. Harry just ignored her, and Hermione shoot her a daggers look. Ron however, was captivated by her presence.
"Yes…." He drawled.
"Perfect!"
* * *
They were about to leave the great hall when all of the sudden…
BOOM!!! BOOM!! BOOM!!
Deatheaters were everywhere!
Hufflepuffs hid under the tables, Slytherins either joined the Deatheaters or began to dance on the tables.
Ravenclaw students simply sat oblivious to the whole thing, and continued to be boring and read.
Gryffindors stood up, ready to fight. Ron was going to join them, but Mary- Sue dragged him out of the Great Hall.
"Rooon…Save me…" She drawled. Roon-I mean Ron nodded and tried to drag her out of harms way when out of no where she pulled out…
A TOOTSIE ROLL POP!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ron screamed as she jumped on him and proceeded to begin to bonk him on the forehead with it.
"I'M TO YOUNG TO DIE!" Mary-Sue ignored him completely and kept on hitting him, yelling something about Voldemort ruling.
All of the sudden, when all hope seemed lost, out of no where came…
A FLYING TOASTER!
It flew at Mary-Sues head and knocked her out, but right before she fell into unconsciousness, she screamed Avada Kerdavra, but her wand was pointed backwards and she killed herself..
Now, this would have helped Ron, if it hadn't lost power, and fallen on Ron head, knocking him into a concussion…
(A/N: Laughs evilly! That's what you get for falling for a Mary-Sue!)
* * *
Since nobody really liked Ron anyway, they decided that instead of waking him up from his concussion, they would just bury him where no one would find him.
* * *
So lays Ron Weasley…still buried alive. Hopefully he will never be found….
Or will he?
* * *
Okay, that was hard to write! R&R
By Nari-chan
Summary: I am a BIG anti-Ron shipper, so I decided to get rid of him. But I've always been a sucker for humor…this fic shows how stupid and pathetic Ron is and how bloody mad I am! Darn…just quoted Ron! Ignore that, it wasn't me!
WARNING: THIS FIC INCLUDES MARY-SUE BASHING AND RON BASHING! IT ALSO CONTAINS BLOWPOPS, MUGGLE-TOASTERS, AND MANY OTHER ANNYOING THINGS!
DISCLAIMER: Ron belongs to J.K.Rowling, thank god! If he were mine I'd shoot myself…
* * *
It was the best of times…it was the worst of times. Actually, it was breakfast time, but that's beside the point.
Ronald Weasley woke to hear birds chirping, twigs snapping, wind blowing, and animals mating. It was a beautiful sunny day with rainbows in the sky, and a light breeze blowing in the east.
Ron rolled over and noticed that he would be late for breakfast. Jumping up he took a shower and proceeded to get dressed, not noticing that he had dressed in some women's lingerie. (A/N: I wonder where that could have come from…looks like Ron's been up to something…)
* * *
Ron made it just in time for breakfast to begin. On a sugar high, he sat down on Hermione, who proceeded to slap him and shove him off of her.
"Ah! Mione, I was just jokin!"
"Prat!"
"Babe!"
"Scarecrow!"
"My little wh-"
"STUDENTS! I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE OUR NEW STUDENT! PLEASE WELCOME MARY- SUE PERFECT!"
(A/N: Heres where I get to rant on about her looks…joy ^_)
The hall erupted into cheers as a girl walked in. She had long, luscious ebony hair that fell into soft curls around her shoulders. Her eyes were a sapphire color that sparkled like the sky on a bright…bright starry night! She was tall and slim, and had pale white skin that shone like moonlight. She looked about fifteen, which was revealed almost immediately by Professor Dumbledore, who also stated she was a transfer student from America…Louisiana or something! She was indeed a sight to behold.
"Perfect, Mary-Sue!" Professor McGonagall called out.
Mary-Sue walked up to the sorting hat and muttered something about germs. McGonagall shoved the hat onto her head, and she cried as dust settled over her.
"GRYFFINDOR!" The hat screamed almost immediately. Mary-Sue skipped over to their table and by oh so accident sat right next to the *cough* hero *cough* of our story, Ron Weasley.
"Your Ron, aren't you?" She muttered silkily in that annoying nightingale voice of hers. Harry just ignored her, and Hermione shoot her a daggers look. Ron however, was captivated by her presence.
"Yes…." He drawled.
"Perfect!"
* * *
They were about to leave the great hall when all of the sudden…
BOOM!!! BOOM!! BOOM!!
Deatheaters were everywhere!
Hufflepuffs hid under the tables, Slytherins either joined the Deatheaters or began to dance on the tables.
Ravenclaw students simply sat oblivious to the whole thing, and continued to be boring and read.
Gryffindors stood up, ready to fight. Ron was going to join them, but Mary- Sue dragged him out of the Great Hall.
"Rooon…Save me…" She drawled. Roon-I mean Ron nodded and tried to drag her out of harms way when out of no where she pulled out…
A TOOTSIE ROLL POP!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ron screamed as she jumped on him and proceeded to begin to bonk him on the forehead with it.
"I'M TO YOUNG TO DIE!" Mary-Sue ignored him completely and kept on hitting him, yelling something about Voldemort ruling.
All of the sudden, when all hope seemed lost, out of no where came…
A FLYING TOASTER!
It flew at Mary-Sues head and knocked her out, but right before she fell into unconsciousness, she screamed Avada Kerdavra, but her wand was pointed backwards and she killed herself..
Now, this would have helped Ron, if it hadn't lost power, and fallen on Ron head, knocking him into a concussion…
(A/N: Laughs evilly! That's what you get for falling for a Mary-Sue!)
* * *
Since nobody really liked Ron anyway, they decided that instead of waking him up from his concussion, they would just bury him where no one would find him.
* * *
So lays Ron Weasley…still buried alive. Hopefully he will never be found….
Or will he?
* * *
Okay, that was hard to write! R&R