Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything to do with it so don't even assume.

Note: Well everyone, read and review ... please. I hope you enjoy because it's certainly fun to write. This is basically just Narcissa Malfoys view on growing up at Hagwarts in her 6th year.

Narcissa Malfoy's Diary.

Chapter One: Christmas Blues.

December 24th

Very Late night, my bedroom: I'm lying in my bed, wide awake with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomache. Tomorrows Christmas, the worst day of the year in the Black house.

OKay ... so I guess I should explain the diary. Thing is, Mother decided to give me an early Christmas present, she always does, makes me feel more advantaged then everyone else. And that's definitely a big thing for us Blacks, we MUST under all circumstances be better then everyone else. As you might have guessed, the early Christmas present was ... this diary.

At first I thought my mum was joking and that something bigger was bound to be placed lovingly in my arms, but Mother merely smiled and nodded towards the diary enthusiasticaly. I stutted my thanks and then went up stairs to my room.

I'm still laughing about the whole situation, it's not really funny, just weird. The diary isn't magical and it definitely isn't expensive ... I just don't get it.

However, I do feel as though I am at that stage when I feel like I am going to explode. I have so many emotions running through my mind; anger, frustration, hate, envy - you name it, it's there. So I thought I'd write them all down. Well, I hope you're happy Mother.

December 25th

Early morning, my bedroom: So I managed to get some sleep, miraculously. But, truth be told, I really don't want to leave the sanctity of my own room. Christmas day means the whole family, the whole Black clan, come to our insanely large mansion and give gifts to people whom they would rather kill with their bare hands.

I'm 16, that means I've been alive for 16 Black family Christmas's and so far I haven't have one that I really enjoyed ...

1st: I was only 3 months old when I had my first Christmas. All I can remember of that day was getting squashed by my sisters massive present. She put it on me without even realising (so she says) and it happened to be the heaviest and largest of the whole lot.

2nd: My second Christmas, when I was 1, was when I met my cousin Sirius for the first time. We got matching jumpers ... need I say more.

3rd: 2 years old, I got a new pair of shoes. When I put them on my feet a giant spider crawled out the side and up my leg.

4th: Sirius ruined my new dolls house.

5th: I never got that preety dress I wanted.

6th: I was 5 years old and everything was going really well. That was, until my Great Aunt decided to show up, she gave me the head of her house elf, "I know how you've always hated him."

7th: Sirius broke my doll.

8th: Another house elf head ("I know how much you enjoyed the last one dear").

9th: Sirius ripped my dress.

10th: Bellatrix, my older sister, brought me a hair brush ... a hair brush that turned my hair blue. I was 9 and had beautiful golden locks that I treasured greatly ... I was mortified when the blue ink engulfed my hair, I had to spend the night at St. Mungos having the colour removed.

11th: I got my first owl, that turned out to be an animagus. An old man appeared right where my owl had been seconds before and tried to steal the rest of my presents, luckily we have high security on our home.

12th: I was 11 and about to start my first year at hogwarts. I got a brand new wand, robes and all my books. Sirius broke my wand.

13th: Andromeda, my oldest sister, gave me a book of love spells. I tried one of the spells out on this cute boy walking past, next thing I know my cousin Reilly is by my side pledging his undying love for me.

14th: Sirius almost killed my owl. Luckily I was older and wiser now and could keep a sharp eye on him. He fed it a large peice of tracle fudge and it's beak got stuck. I managed to clean it out before anything fatal happened.

15th: Bellatrix gave me underwear, in front of Sirius. Sirius and his little gang of cronnies at school happened to be my least favourite people on earth, the last thing I wanted was for them to know what underwear I wore. That year was torture I can tell you now.

16th: I was 15 and got a lovely make up kit from mother. Unfortunatly, Sirius also got a book on curses that year and he tested it out on my make up kit which immediatly turned on me and latched on to my arm where it simply wouldn't budge. Another night in St. Mungos.

... And, naturally, this will be my 17th Christmas and I don't think my fortunes will improve much.

Morning, The Black Mansion, kitchen: So far so good, my toast didn't burn and my pumpkin juice wasn't off.

Afternoon, The Black Mansion, Lounge Room: So there we were, opening presents. Sirius wasn't there, he was off with the Potter's. His best friend James had taken him in after Sirius couldn't handle being a Black anymore.

No sign of Aunt Jenaveve, that blasted Aunt of mine who insist on chopping of the heads of all her house elves.

All my presents seem safe ... nothing good mind you, it's hard to get something you really like when you've already got everything.

Night Time, my room: And ... Christmas is over, I survived - nothing bad hapened to me.

OKay, I know I should be happy, but truth be told ... I'm utterly misserable. Why? Well, this was perhaps one of the most boring Christmas's ever. I guess the feeling that I'm finally growing up is sinking in. No more games, no more fun, I'm expected to act like an adult now. Sirius is gone ... grown up - the one person I thought would never grow up - he left the Blacks in search of a better life.

Sad ... suddenly I feel old ... too old. Maybe this year isn't going to be as good as I thought it would be.

December 31st

Very Late Night, my room: Yes ... I know I haven't written in this for a while, truth is, i didn't feel like it.

I think I have a wrinkle ... is that possible? Can 16 year olds have wrinkles?

This is finally the year that little Narcissa Black grows up and I know just where to start. I made myself a few New Years Resolutions:

I WILL:

1. Get a boy friend who is ...

a) goodlooking.

b) worthy of the Black family.

c) not arranged by my family.

d) rich.

... OKay, so I'm not looking for much, but I bet I still won't be able to find one.

2. Not call anyone, no matter how much they ask for it, a Mudblood. Such childish things are beyond me now.

3. Get at least one friend who is not a Slytherin.

4. Do some sporting activity, perhaps I can join the Quidditch team ... the very though makes me laugh my arse off.

5. Take more care of my appearance and body and personality and mind and soul etc, etc, to mature gracefully (yeah right).

6. Grow up.

... I don't realy have to put the I WILL NOT list down because basically I will not do anything that goes against the I WILL list. Got it? Good.

I'll show Sirius that he's not the only Black that can grow up and get a life. Now ... all thats left is to count down the days until school starts back ... oh boy!