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A Strange Request

Smoke swirls lazily within the empty bar. The early hour ensures few that very few patrons are within, though the noise level would have one believe otherwise. It was the perfect place for him to rest and nourish.

Ai Akeno, a missing nin that few knew to miss, was of small stature, barely reaching 1.65 meters, and androgynous features. His shoulder length white hair naturally tussled around his face at various lengths, framing soft rose-colored eyes. The slender build and elegant mannerisms did little to help the projection of masculinity, nor the image of a fearsome, self-supporting missing shinobi. His signature jutsus were more of a matter of self-depreciating pride at this point.

"Bar~tender-sama~!" Akeno hiccups from his perch at the bar, "More sake! Ple-ase~?" He sways perilously in the stool, his cheeks flushed and eyes slightly glazed.

"Eh!" The bartender shouts. "You've already had ten shots!" He peers at the boy carefully. "I'm cutting you off."

This causes Akeno to fall from his chair. "What?!" Pulling himself to his feet with help of the chairs near him, Akeno looks to him beggingly, his eyes becoming large and teary. "But Bartender-sama, I'm a full-fledged ninja, surely you can't be cruel enough to cut me off? It may be the last time I get to enjoy myself."

The man sighs and shakes his head, carefully ignoring the puppy eyes sent his way. "No."

Just as Akeno attempts to try again, a cat walks into the bar. And no it is not the beginning of a bad joke.

The cat, a large black creature with bright green eyes, saunters all the way up to the bar and pounces onto the empty stool beside him. Akeno's eyes can do nothing but follow.

"Afternoon Atsugu-san." The cat intones, its voice a deep rumble. A summon then.

"Ah! Afternoon Haru! How is your mistress today?" The bartender now known to be Atsugu asks cheerfully, his mind now off of the white-haired boy.

The cat looks around carefully, ignoring Akeno and double checking that none of the usual gossips are within hearing range. "That's why I'm here actually." The cat says quietly. "I need your word to not divulge the specifics, it could lead to… trouble for her."

Atsugu scoffs. "Of course, she did me good a while back and I don't look down on good doin's."

Haru nods knowing, the concept of honor easily grasped. "My mistress is in quite a bind." He seems grim. "She's looking for… help. Outside help."

The bartender frowns. "She's wantin' a passin' ninja?" Akeno perks up at the words.

The cat nods. "Have a letter."

Akeno's eyes widen and a smile spreads across his face. "I'm a shinobi!" He states excitedly.

The bartender eyes the boy skeptically. "I think you've had a too much drink kid."

He falls to his knees and crawls towards the black cat. "Please believe me. I'm a really awesome ninja, I promise."

Haru looks around the bar for any other possible prospect, but turns back with a deep-seated sigh. "Fine, here are the details" He produces a scroll in a puff of smoke and tosses it to Akeno before dispelling himself.

Akeno fumbles with the scroll before holding it close to his chest, a large grin covers his face. "Whoop!" He jumps up in excitement, hitting the closest chair and falling into the counter. "Ugh..."

The bartender shakes his head and moves away to help his other customers.

A sudden seriousness settles over the white-haired man, all signs of his intoxication vanishing as he opens the scroll carefully. His brows furrow as he reads the information within. "Well… this should certainly be interesting."

Natsumi sighs, eyeing the route before her impatiently.

"Don't worry Natsumi! I'm sure the Kazekage isn't that bad." Ino says, attempting to placate any worries or doubts.

"You know, when he's not trying to destroy a village or murder hundreds that is." Shikamaru drawled sarcastically.

Natsumi grimaced. "Gee that makes me feel SO much better. We can murder people together and it will all be fucking glitter and rainbows." She snorted. "Who knows, maybe we can both ride into the wedding ceremony on unicorns, and they can stab all of our enemies on our way to the alter."

Ino smacked Shikamaru upside the head. "You moron!"

"Ow! What the hell was that for?!" Shikamaru grumbled, rubbing his sore head.

"Thats the last thing she needs to hear right now!" Ino huffed. "Men are so stupid sometimes."

"Troublesome…"

They faltered momentarily as the trees slowly transitioned from that of Hashirama to the pink of cherry blossoms. Hundreds of sakura trees surrounded them, their petals floating leisurely in the breeze.

"What the hell?" Shikamaru yelled, eyes darting around to find the source of the jutsu.

"Genjutsu?" Choji asked hesitantly.

Natsumi's face set into a grim line. "No… I think its a Ninjutsu."

"KAI!" Both Shikamaru and Choji try, better to be sure.

The image around them doesn't even waver.

"Troublesome…" Shikamaru mutters with a hint of frustration.

Suddenly things shift. The branches beneath their feet animate, ensnaring their thighs before they can dodge and climbing steadily higher. Small thorns scrap flesh, leaving small puncture wounds as they tighten.

Natsumi reacted quickly, unsheathing one of her swords, she cut through the branches around her easily, ink splattering everywhere. She noticed that the others were quickly overwhelmed and bound, and growled under her breath. "Show yourself, you coward!"

A soft laugh resonates through the sakura forest. "It is not cowardly to know when one is out numbered, nor for a ninja to strike from the shadows. It is mere precaution, the prerogative of a shinobi."

A figure steps from behind a nearby trunk donned in priest's robes of white and purple. His white hair shimmers in the sunbeams that dance between the petals and his eyes glow only a shade darker than the blossoms. A small smile sits on his lips as he holds a blank scroll and brush in his hands. "I will respect such a direct request however."

She didn't reply, instead she launched herself at him, her katana poised to strike at his throat.

The man doesn't move, his smile merely widening as the katana pierces his neck. However, no resistance is met and the image fades. As Natsumi tries to regain her balance, the man reappears behind her. He quickly bashes an elbow into her head, knocking her out cold.

The Ino-Shika-Cho trio gasps as their superior and charge is so quickly taken out, their efforts doubling as they attempt to remove the bindings. They freeze as the man looks to them, his feminine figure and small stature belying the events they just witnessed.

He tilts his head likely, his pink magenta eyes calculating, before his gentle smile returns. "No hard feelings, yeah? This is merely business." He waves jauntily before lifting the unconscious woman from the ground. "Buh-bye! The branches should wither in… oh four hours or so." With that he jumps into the trees, easily disappearing from sight.

"YOU JERK! YOU'LL BE SORRY WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE! YOU HEAR ME!" Ino shouted, struggling to break free. Her cries died away as she realized that the rogue ninja could no longer hear her. "Guys… He just spirited away the future bride of the Kazekage…"

"Troublesome…"

Dear Shinobi-san,

Yeah, so this is probably going to be one of the weirdest requests that you have ever gotten, but I was recently forced into an arranged marriage, to a person that I don't know. So, if you could ambush and 'kidnap' me on the way to his village, that would be great! Also, I will fight back to make this seem like a realistic kidnapping. Half of your payment is enclosed, and I will pay you the rest once the marriage is called off. There is also a map with the route that I will be taking and a photo.

See you soon!

End

AN: We do not apologize for our madness.