In Her Image

Chapter 1: Colette

Colette stared up at the ceiling of Altessa's house and almost missed the days when she couldn't sleep because of her transformation into an angel. At least that was a physical reason. Being kept awake by her own worries was much worse.

She sat up and tugged aside the edge of her collar. The crystalline substance across her skin looked worse than ever. It didn't help that her secret was out in the open. That just meant everyone would risk their lives to help her. Maybe they wouldn't even be able to cure her in time, and it would all be for nothing.

And she couldn't tell them that. She squeezed her eyes shut. It was hard to keep a smile on her face and pretend nothing was wrong, day after day. Things were wrong, terribly wrong, and the worse they got, the harder it was to pretend.

She'd spent her whole live putting on a brave face in the face of disaster. She was the Chosen, meant to save and protect people. Her friends had enough problems without worrying about her. She had to be strong for them.

But sometimes she wanted to break down and confess how scared she really was. How much more could she take?

Every time she closed her eyes, she thought about death.

Her intended sacrifice as the Chosen of Mana, Cruxis's plans for her, the illness that had overtaken her . . . and on top of all that, the battles they faced every day. It was too much.

No amount of tossing and turning calmed her thoughts. If she made too much noise, she'd wake up the others who lay asleep in the dwarf's guest rooms. Altessa's house wasn't very big.

Then they'd ask what was wrong. The way she felt, she wouldn't be able to keep her fears and worries bottled up inside.

Colette stared at the ceiling, but sleep still refused to come. She sighed and sat up, then rolled out of bed. With a quick glance around to make sure no one else woke up, she tiptoed out of the room.

Kratos may have been their enemy—was he? his actions were so hard to understand—but he'd been right when he told her to count the stars. Even after she regained the ability to sleep, his advice helped her through more than one restless night. She crept to the door of the house and slipped outside.

Cool air blew through her clothes and made her shiver. She rubbed her arms and looked around. Surrounded by mountains, Altessa's house didn't provide the best view of the sky. However, a rocky outcropping just above the roof looked like a great vantage point.

She walked up to it and jumped. Too high. She grabbed the top with her hands and tried to pull herself up. The rough stone grated against her fingers, and she lost her grip and hit the ground. She frowned at the rock wall for a moment and tried to imagine what Lloyd would do. After a moment, she stood and dusted herself off. Then she backed up, got a running start, and jumped at the wall.

A second later, she lay flat on her back. Dazed, she looked up at the night sky and the merciless cliff face.

Then she giggled. Oops. She forgot she could fly. She climbed to her feet and summoned her wings. They sprang from her back in an instant, and she flew up to the top of the mountain ledge.

Up high, she had a much better view of the stars, and the spot at the very edge would be just perfect—except it was already occupied. It seemed she wasn't the only person who had trouble sleeping.

Colette opened her mouth to apologize and leave, but as he turned, the expression on his face was so sad that she couldn't. No matter how bad she felt, she'd be strong for someone else again.

"Mithos?" she asked. "Are you all right?"

The sorrow vanished from his face as if it had never been there. "Fine."

She hesitated, then walked closer and sat beside him. "You couldn't sleep either?"

For a long moment, she didn't think he'd say anything at all, but he finally shook his head and glanced at her from the corner of his eye. "No."

"Were you counting the stars?"

"Why?"

She blinked. "It . . . helps."

"There are too many stars to ever count them all."

"Isn't that the point?" she asked. "Trying takes your mind off your troubles, and then you can fall asleep easier."

His sudden derisive laugh didn't suit the young half-elf at all.

Colette swallowed. Maybe she should have gone back inside when she saw him. It wasn't fair. He opened up to Genis, but his treatment of her bordered on hostility. Maybe he still didn't trust humans . . . but she'd seen him talking to Lloyd, and even Presea.

"I'm sorry if I bothered you," she said in a soft voice. "You looked sad. I thought you might want company."

"I was thinking about my sister."

"O-oh?"

He didn't look at her, but continued to stare out into the night. "She's dead."

Colette put her hand over her mouth. "Oh no, I'm sorry!"

"She was murdered. Right in front of me."

"That's terrible . . . I'm so, so sorry . . ." She reached out and put her hand on his shoulder, but he flinched away. "I didn't mean to pry," she said. "It must be hard to talk about. I understand."

He turned and glared at her. "You do not understand! How could you? You've never lost anyone like that!"

She drew back. Part of her was a little irritated at his presumption—he didn't know her well enough to be sure she didn't have a dead relative—but it was true. "I'm sorry," she said again. "But . . . I think I do understand, a little."

"How?"

He didn't look quite as angry anymore. She took a deep breath. "I grew up knowing I was supposed to die. I would sacrifice myself and become an angel to regenerate the world. It's a scary thing, thinking about your own death . . . but I had enough years to get used to the idea."

Interest gleamed in his eyes, but he didn't say a word.

"As time went on, I stopped worrying so much about my death. What upset me was the thought of my friends. My death would make them suffer. I couldn't stop thinking about it—imagining how they'd react to the news, how they'd grieve, how they'd feel afterwards . . . When I finally left on my journey, I didn't take them with me. I wanted to go with only Raine and Kratos. But then Lloyd and Genis found us, and I started worrying about it all over again." She swallowed and looked down at the ground. "I thought about it so much, I think I know how you feel—not because I lost someone, but because I imagined how my friends would feel when I died."

In the silence that followed, she squeezed her eyes shut to hold back tears.

Mithos's voice was quiet. "But you didn't die."

She looked at him.

He stared back with an unreadable expression on his face. "You were supposed to die, but you didn't. Lloyd placed your life above the safety of the world."

"Lloyd realized there has to be another way." She smiled. "He made me realize that my life is worth something. He gave me a chance to look beyond sacrifice and treasure what I have!"

"My sister deserved that chance, too."

"Of course she did."

"Do you really believe that?" he asked.

"Huh?" What a strange question. "Of course I do." Maybe this came from his fear of prejudice again. "I'm sure she was a wonderful person."

"Wouldn't you give her that chance, if you could?"

Colette stared at him. "But she's dead. Nothing can bring back the dead, Mithos . . ."

The half-elf stared down at his hands. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I asked that. Just forget I said anything."

She touched his shoulder again, and this time he didn't move. "I know it's hard. But this is what we're fighting for—to create a world where people can live in peace, instead of suffering the pain you and your sister did."

"That's impossible."

"No it's not." She looked up at the stars for a moment and thought about Sylvarant, so similar yet so far from them. "If we can reunite the worlds, things will change. Life will become better."

"For you, maybe," he said. "Not for half-elves."

"I believe it will."

"Why?" He propped his chin in his hands and frowned at her. "Humans have hated half-elves for thousands of years, long before Cruxis was created. You can't change that. And aren't they half-elves? What if things are even worse for us if you win?"

Colette took a moment to gather her thoughts. It was a serious question, and she didn't have all the answers, but somehow it felt necessary to convince him that this was for the best. "Where I come from, in Sylvarant, a lot of people hate half-elves because of the Desians, who work for Cruxis. The Desians oppress humans, worse than it is here against half-elves. They have ranches where they torture people and treat them as slaves or livestock. They're cruel and terrible. To a lot of people, that's what half-elves are, and that's why they hate them. If we win, things will improve for half-elves, because Cruxis is making things worse for them."

Mithos jumped to his feet. "That's not true!"

She stood as well and stared at him.

"I, uh . . ." He looked away. "I just find it hard to believe it could be that easy."

"It won't be easy." She folded her hands and looked at the sky. Once, she would have prayed to Martel for guidance. These days, all she could do was hope some benevolent force existed. "It won't happen overnight. But things will get better." She smiled at Mithos. "Once this is over, life will improve for everyone."

"Once it's over . . ."

The wind whipped through Colette, and she shivered. A conversation about the fate of the world wasn't what she intended when she went outside. So many things could still go wrong. She'd never get to sleep after this. She couldn't even focus on counting the stars. Thoughts of the two worlds, the angels, and the long-standing hatred between races intruded when she tried.

It was too much. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she quickly wiped them. She'd be strong. She had to be strong. The others had enough worries of their own, even Mithos . . .

"Are you going to sleep?" he asked softly.

"N-not yet." A hint of her distress crept into her whisper, and she forced a smile so he wouldn't think much of it.

The night sky above them seemed vast and cold. Not at all comforting on this night.

"Colette."

She looked over at Mithos.

"Would you like to go on a walk?"

She stared at him. "Now? Alone? Isn't it dangerous?"

"I've done it many nights when I can't sleep." He spread his arms as if to encompass the area around them. "You'll be in no more danger than you are right here." With a smile, he turned and walked toward the mountains. "Join me if you want."

Uncertain, she watched him walk away. Maybe he did this often, but there were still monsters in the area. If anything happened to him because she let him go alone, Genis would kill her. Besides, she still didn't feel like she could sleep, and counting the stars wasn't working at all. A brisk stroll might be just what she needed.

Colette hurried into the night after Mithos.