Katie and Katy here! My Benoit muse got the best of me...again. It's all Katie's fault with the Lilian tape she made me and Kristen. Howeva, she did join me in writing this, so thank ya! T'was mucho fun. We disclaim everything, as usual. Seriously, who the hell thinks they could possibly own the WWE or anything/anyone in it? Idiots.
Hanna - I hope everything gets better soon!
Lilian frowned as she straightened up, adding yet another videotape to the ever growing stack sitting on her coffee table.
"Chris… I really need to start transferring these tapes to DVDs," Lilian called. She turned around, jumping slightly to see her soon to be husband right behind her. Her hand flew to her chest, and the blonde gasped, "Jesus, Chris, could you make some noise sometimes?"
"Sorry, baby…" Chris Benoit said with a smirk, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close to him. "You know how much I love to scare you."
"Oh, shush," Lilian chastised. "You just do it 'cause I scare so easily." Nevertheless, she still planted a small kiss on his lips before wiggling out of his grasp.
"You can just put a bell on me."
"I might as well get you some rabies shots while I'm at it," she joked in return.
Chris stumbled backwards, backing into the arm of the couch, where he tumbled over, grabbing his chest. "Ouch!"
Lilian rolled her eyes. "Oh get up, you big baby. You need to help me go through these tapes to see what all we can combine on one DVD."
"Fine, fine," he answered, sitting upright. He reached forward and grabbed a tape. "WWF/E Moments. Oh this oughta be good."
"No, thank God," Lilian replied, shaking her head.
"Why thank God?" Chris asked with a smirk as she put the tape in, knowing exactly what was coming.
"Chris," Lilian said with a shake of her head. "I hate seeing myself in the beginning of my career. I look… and sound horrible."
"I wouldn't say that," Chris said with a grin, pulling her down and into his lap, wrapping his hands around her waist to secure her.
"I would," Lilian replied, settling her tiny frame against his chest as she brought her legs up on the couch.
"Shh." A slow grin spread across his face as the first video began to play on the TV.
"With the likes of The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and the Undertaker in the ring, what makes you think that you could be the next number one contender for the WWF championship?"
"With the likes of your question, what makes you think you even deserve an answer? What you should be asking, is how you get your damn job with the interviewing skills of a doorstop."
Lilian could feel his chest shake slightly as he chuckled. She turned and slapped him on the shoulder. "You big jerk!"
He grinned even wider. "I can't help it! The look on your face was priceless."
"We'll just see whose facial expressions are priceless by the end of this tape, mister!"
The next interview was one with Kane. Lilian blushed as Kane leaned down in her face, intimidating her as he talked in his slow drawl. A few more interviews went by as the pair watched, and Chris winced as Stephanie McMahon and Kurt Angle walked off the screen, knowing what was coming next.
"Well, thanks guys," Lilian said, turning, only to have Chris and Dean Malenko walk in the shot.
"Hello, Lilian."
"Hi, Chris."
"Oh… you know my name. Well, let me ask you a real challenging question. What is my LAST name?"
"Ben-" Lilian began, only to silence when Chris held his hand in her face.
"Last Monday night, I could have sworn I heard you announce the winner as Chris… Jericho?"
"Chris, I'm really sorry. I… I just messed up. But I swear, it is NOT going to happen again. And if I can do anything… anything, to make it up, believe me, I-"
"Well, you can make it right by coming down to the ring cause after Malenko and I get done with Road Dogg and Triple H, you're gonna announce us the winners. And this time, you're gonna announce it right."
Lilian turned to him again, pursing her lips. "You know, pendejo, you were the only person to ever tease me on screen about messing up in the ring. Thanks, you were such an ego booster."
"Lil, you know I was just messing around. Besides, I couldn't let people think I didn't know my own name. Think of it as helpful criticism."
"Mhm," she said, grinning as she turned to the screen.
Eddie Guerrero followed the rest of the Radicalz members. "'Does anyone care to comment?' Hey, I care to comment on how hot you looking, Mami."
Lilian stared at him, completely grossed out. He finished his promo, "But you know what? If you're lucky, maybe I'll let you come back and feel some of my heat too!" And with that, he lifted her hand to his mouth, kissing her fingers gently.
Lilian scoffed, wiping her hand on her top. "Ugh!"
Lilian turned to Chris, worry deep in her eyes as she looked at her fiancée. Chris had a sad look in his eyes at the sight of his deceased friend, a look that reflected Lilian's. "I'm sorry, Chris. I forgot that this was on here…"
Chris smiled down at her. "It's okay, Lil," Chris said softly. "I still miss Eddie, but… it's getting easier to watch videos of him."
"I think there's one other one on here," Lilian told him, her eyes flicking to the screen just in time to see Rikishi almost run her over with his car.
"It's fine, Lil," Chris said. "Eddie was a good man, so I don't ever want to forget him. Even though my future wife wiped away his kisses!"
"Oh God," she groaned, turning back to the screen.
Lilian walked into Eddie's and Chris's locker room. She went to Eddie, who had just suffered a loss and began to ask him a question. Chris spun her around, backing her up until she was bent backwards over a table.
"You don't have a clue, do you? You don't have a clue! What were you going to ask him? I said, WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU GONNA ASK HIM? How it felt to lose the title tonight? Is that what you were gonna ask him? Is that what you were planning on doing?"
"I was just," she tried to explain, bending as far as possible from him.
"Huh. While you're at it, why don't you ask me what it felt like to lose to Stone Cold Steve Austin last Monday on Raw?"
Lilian jumped off the couch and started slapping all over Chris's upper body. "Do you know how bad you scared me?!" she shouted in between slaps.
Chris started laughing, trying to deflect some of her harmless blows. "Okay, shush, keep watching," he chastised, grabbing her arms and pulling her down on the couch to watch with him.
"Are you trying to say, that he's a BETTER WRESTLER THAN I AM?! ANSWER ME!" Chris continued, causing her to shrink back even more.
"No!" Lilian squeaked, sounding almost catlike.
"Let me tell you about Stone Cold Steve Austin, the only reason he got his hand raised in victory, is 'cause he capitalized on one of my mistakes. Yes, I... make... mistakes. But Monday Night was one night, and tonight is another night. And Stone Cold is gonna find exactly what Benoit's Wrestle Ed is all about, and there is no way he is gonna prove me wrong. Now get THE HELL OUT!"
Chris laughed to himself as Lilian ran out of the room, obviously scared to death. The smirk dropped off his face when he saw a very annoyed Latina looking at him.
"Uh… sorry?" he said, smiling innocently at Lilian.
"Sorry my ass. Siento mi culo!"
He winced. "Hey now, I was only doing my job."
"I thought you were going to hit me or break me in two!"
"I would never do that…unless creative asked me to," he added, grinning, which got him another slap from his fiancée. "How about we watch some more of the tape?"
"Yeah, to watch how you many ways you can verbally abuse me," she muttered.
"Speaking of which," Benoit gestured, snickering when she groaned as they appeared on the screen together yet again.
"So, Lilian, with all your wisdom in the WWF, what is your advice? What do you think I should do?"
"Win?"
"Very good, Lilian!" Chris mocked her in a singsong voice. "'Cause that's what it's all about. And how do you think I should do that? ANSWER ME, DAMN IT!"
Lilian jumped, then timidly replied, "By… by beating him?"
"Yeah," Chris replied, going off on another tangent about Stone Cold.
Chris dared to glance at Lilian again, not surprised to see her giving him another death glare.
"There's nothing Stone Cold can do about it? And why's that?"
She answered in a quiet voice, "Because you're the best technical wrestler..."
"The what?" He leaned forward, getting in her face and yelling. "I'm the what? ANSWER ME! I'm the best damn technical wrestler in the WWF! If you know all the answers Lilian, then why do ask the questions?"
"I want a therapist!" Lilian shouted finally. "I'm going to have mental scars because of all this yelling."
He chuckled softly, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. "You poor little girl."
"That doesn't even begin to describe the emotional pain you've caused!" she pouted.
Chris laughed, holding her tightly. "Do you still want to marry me after you've seen what a jerk I was to you in the past?"
"Hmm," Lilian pretended to contemplate, nearly laughing at the shocked look on his face. "I don't know, Chris. You were pretty mean to me…"
"Yeah, so was Angle!" Chris sputtered.
"Well, Kurt never asked for my hand in marriage."
Chris's eyes flicked down to her hand, which was resting against his chest, the simple diamond sparkling in the light. He grew serious as he asked, "Can you believe in three days we'll be married?"
"No…" Lilian trailed off. "I sometimes wondered if we'd ever make it to this point…"
"What do you mean?"
"Your divorce… my throat problems… your neck," Lilian trailed off, brushing her lips against the surgical scar.
Chris gathered up her tiny hands in his. "Everyone has their problems, Lil. But we've gotten through ours, and we'll get through the ones to come."
She smiled at him. "Yeah, I guess we have. And why are you thinking we'll have more problems?!"
He shook his head, laughing, and then turned to the screen, laughing even harder.
Lilian followed his gaze and joined in, giggling.
"In a very pr-private place," Lilian commented, glancing downwards.
"Oh, you mean these medals?" Chris asked, dangling Kurt's gold medals in front of her.
Lilian and Chris both laughed as she gasped on screen, shielding her eyes. Chris continued to talk about Angle, then pulled his pants out and dropped the medals back in for 'safe keeping.'
"What, didn't want to check out the goods there, missy?" Chris smirked at her reaction of turning her head, kissing her gently on the neck.
"It was pretty hard not to," Lilian admitted with a blush. "Would you blame me, though?"
"Of course not," Chris laughed, puffing his chest out a little in what he hoped was a masculine gesture.
Lilian giggled, shoving his chest. "Stop trying to be macho. You know you're a big softy!"
"Me? I would never!"
"Yeah, I saw those blue eyes light up when we passed those kittens at the pet store one day. And if I wasn't allergic to cats, we could get one. Now, I'm still not objecting to a puppy."
"So I'm forgiven?" he asked hopefully.
"Of course not," she answered in a cheery voice.
He pouted. "I'm not speaking to you after this: We need to finish packing because the movers are going to be here in a little bit."
"Yeah," Lilian agreed softly, standing up and looking around her small living room.
"You okay?" Chris asked, standing up as well, placing an arm around her waist.
"Yeah," Lilian sniffled. "I just… I've lived here close to fourteen years. Growing up as a daughter in the military, I never stayed in one place for more than a couple years. So… this is home, Chris."
He nodded, pulling her close to him. "At least we'll still live in New York City, sweetie. We'll have a bigger place so I can run faster when you start chasing me over old tapes in which I was a jerk." She laughed a little, and he added, "And now, those crazy basketball and hockey fans won't keep you up at night!"
"What are you talking about, Chris? We're two crazy hockey fans ourselves!"
Chris laughed, giving her one last squeeze before letting her go. "Okay, so we can annoy the future tenants of this apartment now!"
She laughed. "You're terrible, but I love you."
"I know," he quipped, earning another smack on the arm. "Would you stop hitting me? You're going to leave a bruise and it'll show up in our pictures!"
Lilian rolled her eyes. "You wish! You'll never frame me for any kind of crime."
"What are you implying?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.
"I might have had a past life where I was, oh, I don't know, a criminal? You know, like those girls in Chicago. My last boyfriends and husbands and fiancées? They got themselves killed." She smiled angelically and started packing a box with the tapes she'd pulled out earlier.
"Got themselves killed?"
She nodded. "What, like I would kill them? Ha. I couldn't hurt a fly!"
"Maybe we shouldn't be moving into a bigger house, maybe we should move you into a nice, padded room."
Before Lilian could answer, there was a knock on the door. She answered it and the movers were there, ready to take her furniture to the moving van. They lifted up her couch and began to move it out of the apartment.
Chris stood with his arm wrapped around Lilian. He looked down at her, and she looked up to him, both smiling.
"This is it," he said. "This is the beginning of our new life together."