I originally wrote this story about a year ago when I was far less of an author than I am now. When this was first put up it got a fairly good response, but as the story progressed I noticed a loss-of-interest from my readers. After going back and look over it I realize why... So I done a sort of "revamping" of my old tale and I cross my fingers and hope for the best. Please review your thoughts about it and perhaps even provide some advise.
"Sir, we found this while we were out patrolling the town..." a younger man in uniform said to a man in a lab coat. He held a girl, who looked to be around five years old, had fiery red hair, pale skin, and was resting peacefully in the man's arms.
"Why are you bringing me a child when what I need is a specimen!?" the scientist grumbled.
The young man had expected this. "Sir, she was in town dragging a car by its bumper. But she was only using one hand!" he explained.
The scientist turned back to the man in uniform, giving the child one last look.
"Put it in a containment unit until I retrieve it for testing..." he ordered, and young man dipped his head before walking away with the young girl in his arms.
~Time Passes...~
"Ouch!" the girl cried. She was in a metal chamber where she was being poked and prodded by mechanical objects for testing purposes. She had been doing this painful job for eleven years now and she had grown more angered than fearful, as she had lead them to believe.
The girl had had enough of this treatment, deciding that now was the time to put her escape plan into action. Her green eyes went wild as she grabbed two of the machines, destroying the others with them. She quickly dashed for the far wall and slammed her fist into it, creating a large dent. One of the many scientists, on the other side of that wall, hit the button for the alarm just as the wall burst, sending shards of metal flying in all directions.
The scientist cringed on the ground and tipped his head up, expecting to see his test subject. But it wasn't her. It was horrible. It wasn't Human...
The rest of the story goes that the secret lab was destroyed. It is said there were no survivors, scientist and experiments alike. They only told the world that lie to protect it. From what? The sole survivor. Test subject #013. The sixteen-year-old monster. But better known to the world as Oliver...