A Consensus of Mind
Sorry guys, I know I haven't put up anything new, but I have an excuse…I'm serious. This story was supposed to upload December 19th, 2007. Unfortunately, as they say, the bodily waste hit the aerating blades at an advanced speed and I found myself having to re-arrange the house for an unexpected returnee. Things have settled down somewhat, so this is finally going up.
To everyone who reviewed Understanding: Thanks, really nice to know I actually wrote coherently. While I wasn't planning a sequel, it seems my imagination had other ideas…who knew
Okay folks, this isn't funny. Warning you now. And it may not be good, but I finished it any way.
Once again, I own the models, not the characters and it is now official…you can't get one red cent out of me… now on with the angst.
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It was five in the afternoon and hazy warmth seeped through the spacious living room. …
In resistance to the late September day, sunlight streamed through the sheer curtains and struck the off white carpet rather aggressively. There was no need for the fireplace, but the two kids that were parked in front of it didn't mind the heat, their consciousness having already been absorbed by the cartoons on the video screen. From behind, the boys looked exactly the same, their braids lying limp along the side of their bodies. However, their faces gave a slight hint that one was a bit older in the other. On the couch, a boy about seventeen years of age sat, one of his legs swung lazily over the arm. Occasionally his eyes would stray to the screen and during those times a small smile would skitter across his face. Still his primary focus was the manga in hand, a large tome brought out every month for the addicts and the addicts to be. He shared the younger boys' coloring and facial features, in particular their unique heart shaped face. But, in the tradition of rebellious youth, he had forgone the curtain of hair for a short cut, leaving his bangs to fall along his forehead and down the sides of his face.
There was a stern yet respectful knock on the living room door, totally ignored by the kids watching TV and barely acknowledged by the teenager.
"Yah, who is it?"
"Max. I got 'im."
Ah yes, they finally return. This abomination! What excuse will you use now?
The youth raised one unimpressed eyebrow as he untangled himself from his comfortable nook. If the giggles were any indication, he had a clear idea who was behind the door. Another knock, this one a bit more determined than the last, followed by what could only be described as a muffled tirade of swear words. Rolling his eyes the young man opened the door, fully prepared for the routine to come.
There stood a man, around thirty years old, a simple t-shirt and jeans clinging to his tall and muscular frame. Were they outside amongst the world, this man would have been mistaken for their father, but his eyes shone with the same mischief seen in a precocious three year old.
Of course now, they were glaring rather intently.
"Well you took your bloody time!"
"Why hello Max, how has your day been?"
"Bite me, you bastard, you know exactly why I'm here."
"Where was he this time?"
"Yelling insults at the forest."
That boy gives in too easily. A shame really…
"Ah, had one of those days."
"Just wish he would refrain from running through the thorn bushes in his quest for world fuckin' domination!"
"Oh, whatever! Just deal with it."
Max strode into the room, muttering under his breath about teenagers with sadomasochistic tendencies. The duffle bag on his back, hidden from view while he was at the doorway, heaved and wiggled in indignation, a distinct and even more descriptive slew of words blasting from the confines of the thick cargo material.
"…and Max, ya can take fucking orders and firmly stick it up ya…"
"Dammit Sin, the kids!"
There was brief pause, during which two pairs of infantile eyes gazed at them with the inbred hope of learning something deliciously new.
"Well, ya git?"
"Pffftt! They need to learn some new names fa ya!"
Max let go of the bag's handles.
"OOOOWWWWW! YA DECRIPID BASTARD ON A STICK!"
"Aww man! We already know that one!"
"Oh God…"
With everyone in the room, the similarities and differences between them were very obvious. They all had same coloring skin and hair wise, and their eyes were varying shade of violet. The eldest, however, was definitely Max. Standing at five foot seven, his slim body was wrapped in lean muscle. The collar of his green t-shirt hid the markings of the elaborate tattoo, one fluffy wing and a scale peeking over his collarbone. While he smiled with like a twelve year old, his demeanor spoke of years of self-discipline and training. The crew cut only solidified it. Next to him, the teenage boy, Sol, was on the last pages of his book, his bangs under the reading light showing hints of red streaks. His pants were baggy, and stopped just below his knees. He wore the same brand of construction boots like Max, but his black to Max' brown seemed to swallow the light around them. His orange shirt had dingy comforting flush to it, but it highlighted a simple silver dagger on a black cord.
The kids were having a ball on the floor. The TV was long forgotten, and Sin discovered that the two boys were very interested in him.
"Hey Sin, guess wha' we did today?"
"We were watchin' TV…"
"And the cartoons were really funny…."
Ah, the innocence of youth…
"Espeshially the doggy that blows up himself all da time…"
"Ish not a doogy, ish a wolf!"
"Really?"
"Uhuh."
" Okay…And then we played with the bunnies…"
So beautiful in their purity…
"But one of 'em tried to bite Prat…"
"So we put them ona time out…"
"An' then Prat said that we shoo make a prison…"
"Because bitin' people is not nice…"
"But we couldn't find any sticks…"
"So we use one a Sol's old dirty comics."
Such a shame that they have been sullied by this rank place.
"But he found us."
"Yea, he really screams like a girl."
"An' he chased us around the house!"
Sin smirked.
"Yeah, Sol is really in touch with his feminine side."
"Sin, stuff it."
"Sorry, can't help ya there, Solly boy! Beside, don't ya have Max and your toys to do that?"
Foul…
Life always seemed much more entertaining when Sin and Sol began fighting. As Sol put Sin in a brutal headlock, Prat's eyes danced with glee and future pranks.
"You fuckin' bastard-"
"Not…original…are (gasp)…ya?'
"Die, you spawn of a dickwad, die!"
"Hey…(gasp)….Sol…(gasp)…really…should…(gasp)…deal…with your…sexual…frustrations." Sol's grip tightened, causing Sin to choke on his snickers, "unless (gasp)…this…does…it fa…you (gasp)."
"Ahhhhhhggggggggg!"
Doo and Prat quickly shuffled out of the way as Sol jumped Sin.
"Woah! Did you see…"
"Yup."
Prat and Doo were brothers, almost twins. And in the great scheme of things Prat was the first-born and extrovert. His six-year old body contained an intelligent energy that would put any grade three teacher on instant alert. His clothes, which still had the thread count of a recently bought garment, were spattered with unidentified stains and smudges. Both his knees were old soldiers in the war against boredom, scabs and scraps overlaying each other for dominance. And as Sol and Sin battled for supremacy, those same knees knocked together, quietly accompanying the mind attached to them. Doo was just as precocious, but a bit more subdued. His blue demin overalls covered his small feet, while one of the straps repeatedly slid off his thin, jersey-clad shoulder. Unlike Prat's vest and shorts, Doo's clothes kept his movements to a minimum, which was a good thing. He had a broken arm and an egg sized bruise on his right temple. But he knew his companion very well. As the rhythm of the knees increased, Doo 's body began to shift slightly, allowing Prat the space and time to do his worse.
"Sol, get off of Sin right now. Sin, stop being crass. Don't make me have to repeat myself."
The teenage boys were oblivious to Max's commands. Sin was now crouched over Sin's back, though his head was trapped under Sol's armpit. What was interesting, however, was that in his quest to liberate his hair from Sol's grip of righteous indignation, Sin gave Max and the kids a rather raunchy show.
Max looked on in inquisitive horror.
"Sin, are you dry humping him?"
Doo began howling in laughter.
"MUMMMMPH! MMEMMMTHFFF!"
"Lookie up here Sol!'
"PRAT, DON'T YOU DARE! PUT THAT DOWN, NOW!"
A flash of light lit up the room.
"Alriee kiddos, whatz da meeting for?"
The group had finally settled down for the evening, with Prat wisely sitting rather close to Max. Sol had retaken his position at the edge of the couch, dividing his glare of outrage between the pain in the ass, the child of iniquity and the dickwad. Sin just grinned.
Sin was in his element. Usually he was banished to his room, his tactless outburst causing more trouble than they were worth. Even now, he had problems with the concept of over-zealousness; usually they had to be ignored… or cleaned up.
But mortal man can't clean the rivers of blood that have been perpetrated by this husk of skin.
Even now, when he talked so comfortably with the others, his clothes and his facial demeanor served to only remind everyone that he was different. Black hooded sweater he wore pushed the white shirt, blue jeans and the dirty white high-tops into the background. Doo had a firm grip on his braid, and one only had to look at it to know that it was limp and grimy. The cap on his head was low, showing only the barest tips of his bangs and leaving his eyes mostly in shadow.
Amazing, enemies and friends tremble in terror yet they choose not look deeply. And they will most certainly pay for this.
"Alright, now that everyone's settled…"
There was a snicker and a growl, and someone muttered something about 'best sex evah', but Max valiantly chose to ignore them.
"…let's begin the debriefing."
"Whaz a debeefing?" Doo made himself very comfortable in Sin's lap.
"That's soldier speak for a get together."
"So why didn' he say that before, Sini?"
"Because Doo, they have succeeded in shoving the bowling pin firmly in his-"
"SIN! NO!"
"People, please! Focus!"
Especially that boy. Dos he not remember? Does he not know his place?
Silence fell.
"Alright then, this…meeting…is to find out how everyone's going. Some things have come up and I think we all need to make a decision."
"Datz it? Man, I thought itwazabout going overboard wi'da explosions. I mean shit, if it wasn't as if I put myself in danger or anything! It didn't even hurt!"
"Yeah right, you thought you weren't in any danger. To you, a wall nearly crushing your mad ass is not dangerous!"
"But it wasn't! Jeez Sol! Sex deprived much?"
"Yeah, an' Sini makes kewl explosion!" Childish giggles washed over the room. Sin beamed with pride.
"Prat, that's not the point."
Prat pouted.
"Anywhoz, the others said I did a good job an everyonez safe so …everythin' fine…right?"
Ah, he recognizes his sin. His need to destroy. Soon they will all know. They will accept his mercy.
Max noticed immediately that the boy's eyes skated over him before looking directly at Sol.He knew that Sin was still unsure around him, their personalities a source of many of their conflicts. While their first meetings resulted in Max strong-arming Sin into submission, the progressive years had seen a softening of the relationship between them. Although Sin was still cautious around Max, he was more inclined to listen. It was only recently that Sin was able to accept Max and his leadership within his person domain.
"Yes Sin, it was fine. You did a good job. But Sol is right in his assessment. You nearly got yourself killed, and left us one man less. You should really take care of yourself. You don't have unlimited energy."
Maxwell, I expected better from you, my protégé.
Sin had the decency to look sheepish.
"Yeah, I kinna got carried away…a bit. Wish I had God Mode. Then I'da show dem."
Ah, my unfortunate demon, but you are a god. One that is too long in this world…
Sol raised a well-shaped eyebrow, "Oh God, that's the worse thing imaginable.
That's like having Prat on sugar for a week."
Everyone chose to repress the memories of that last incident.
"Sol, even if you, with ya moments of anal retentiveness, realize I have achieved a level of maturity and responsibility."
"Yes, unfortunately, it is also interspaced with moments of psychosis, irrationality and bit of indigestion."
"At least it's not constipation."
"Sin! Sol! Behave!"
Sol snapped his mouth shut but fired off a glare for good measure and his own self worth. Sin undid it all by blowing a raspberry.
"Getting back to the conversation." Max paused as Doo and Prat continued to giggle. Sol grumbled, while Sin smirked in glee, "Guys, there's a reason why I decided to talk to you all. We haven't seen each other in a while, and I know each of you has been out and about by yourselves. I figure before we all disappear, let's at least touch base."
"Aw Max, like we wanna abandon you. Who else can we annoy with sexual innuendo and "I'm-not-touchin'-you" marathons?"
The vein under a left eye twitched.
"Um, right…Thanks for reminding me. Still, guys, the situation we were just involved in was…stressful at best. Sol, Doo, I know you had to face some things that you really didn't want to. I just want to make sure everyone is fine."
But no one is fine, boy! How can you not see this! You refuse to deal with the problem. The evil that is growing!
Sol grumbled under his breath about Max' mother-hen tendencies, but the others could see the slight shine that broke out against his skin. The trauma that they had found themselves about six month ago had left heavy scars on Sol and Doo, especially Sol. It reminded him of what he had left behind.
And all of the horrible things he had to do to escape.
And yet this thing exists, continues to exist! You all wish to live in this…darkness…refuse to see the truth!
"Sin, I'm particularly worried about you. Now I know you are good at what you do. Hell, you're the main reason we've survived this long. But something's off. You've been pushing yourself too hard recently."
Sin began whining, "Come on Max…"
"I'm not saying you went off the deep end. Trust me, you would know when you went to far."
"Yeah, you give me the riot act."
"All I know is that you've been withdrawing again, during the last eight months. You stay in your room, even if you behaving. Now normally, I would just assume you're having your menses…"
"OI!"
"But this mission has officially gotten me concerned. Sin, I can't understand how quickly you gave in to that…monster. It was almost like you believed him."
Sin hung his head, the lip of his cap hiding his face. He knew Max was right but he really, really did not want to deal with it now…really.
But that is your purpose, my boy. Sins should not dare to live amongst living flesh.
Sometimes he wished the relationship between them remained as it was before.
"But I had-"
Yes you had too. You are a parasite hanging on to a dying tree.
Sol jumped in.
"I distinctly remember all of us promising that we would get out together. Especially after the last shithouse of a war. But it was like you fuckin' didn't even know us!"
See? See how quickly he can discard you? Like refuse, like rubbish. You place your trust in a thing that has no concept of this gentle emotion.
"I..kn…know…buddai-"
"Yeah, Sini, you promised!" Prat's face scrunched into a frown, his fear of Sol momentarily forgotten. Doo just looked like someone had kicked him in the stomach.
That's right, little one. Remember, listen to my voice and remember.
"Guys, ease up." Everyone settled down reluctantly. "Listen, we not saying you did anything wrong." Max began quickly, "It's just…it's just the last time you were this destructive, you were trying to wipe yourself out of existence. That…and before any of this happened, you were okay."
"Technically I'm usually insane. Remember?"
Yes, remember, remember the rot, the stench. Remember boy and embrace his mercy!
"But not psychotic. You wanted to die there. You scared a lot of people. Including Doo and Prat."
Sin glanced sideways at the kids. Prat was still incensed, his bottom lip jutting out at a determined angle. He was trying to stare Sin down, but occasionally the corner of his eyes drooped in frantic despair. To Sin's left, there was an almost silent sniffle as the pressure on his scalp shifted downward. Sin's eyes turned, only to find Doo fiddling with the end of his braid. The boy didn't seem too particularly interested that his small hands were gradually receiving a layer of grit and oil. However, his refusal to look at anyone, especially at the person he was leaning against, caused Sin's stomach to clinch.
See! Se the pain you inflict on others, boy? The rest refuse to listen, to heed, but you, you know, you see, you understand…
"Guys…I…I didn't…"
"Didn't we just tell you, ya didn't do anything wrong, twit?" Sol butt in rather grudged, his own sense of concern slipping into his voice, "We…we don't want to lose you. You don't get this…this…dark, unless you're really, really spooked. Sin, what the fuck's up?"
The violated one! Humph! Listen not to his stained words. He had forsaken mercy and now will live in filth. The others I can't save.
The boy in the cap was silent. Both Max and Sol looked at each other, wondering if they may have gone to far. Sin only became silent and introvert when he was on the brink of despair. And they remembered too many days where they were almost too late.
"I… didn't mean to…I…"
But you my darling boy, my noble iniquity. You can be saved…just surrender…
"Sin, humor me here for a minute…does this have to do with the offer the others made before we got taken?"
Sin froze in terror. Max took a deep calming breath.
"Alright, now we know the problem."
Sin started babbling frantically, "Guys…I…it isn't y'all or anything…I just…just…."
He couldn't finish. The fear that had been riding his chest since the incident came rushing back. He wanted it; his entire body yearned to give in as the others had. But there were consequences, the nightmare six month ago proved it. Behind the happiness, there were always consequences; dark, confusing consequences filled with screaming, and crunching and a stench that became his skin. Consequences that scrapped, and slashed until it crawled into him, nesting and growing. Leaving the waiting…and the growing dark anticipation…
Another abomination, stench of filth that seeks to spread like a cancer in this pure world!
Sin came to with a start only to see Sol's face looming in front of his, their noses barely touching.
"Sin! Sin? Hey, brat, breathe ya dickhead, please."
It was only then that he realized how much he was hyperventilating.
"Sin, com'un, com'un! Calm down! Stop freaking out!"
Boy, you are truly shameful! Filthy! Disgusting! You can't even find comfort without corrupting it with your perversions…
Sol began to slowly stroking Sin's back, looking at the boy's hands as they shook sporadically. Once again a small trickle of guilt raced through him. During the war, they never really got a chance to be around each other. The pressure of day to day living forced them to focus only on their area of expertise. After the wars end, their very existence and that of heir friends demanded their continued caution. And, unfortunately there were repercussions.
After years of abuse, Doo had become a total introvert. He feared everything outside this group and this room. When Sol first met him, the little boy barely acknowledged at him. Even having someone looking at him, would bring about an almost hysterical flight behind the sofa and a silent crying fit. Now, although he talked freely like any other child, he preferred to remain in their circle of protection. The world was still a scary place for him.
Prat , on the other hand, was in the truest sense, an animal. The intellectual shine in his eyes flickered uncomfortably with the strands of madness and malice. Sol and Max had been witnesses to Prat at his worse, and while they recognized the validity of his actions, he scared everyone with his total lack of regard for the safety of himself and others.
Usually Max was responsible for keeping everyone in line, however, he had his own problems. Years of taking responsibility for the actions of others and his own sense of self-recrimination had made him a very controlled and self-demanding machine. He saw the world in black and white and usually he was the one in black. His expertise ensured he had completed his mission. But, for the first time in his existence, he came to the horrifying realization that there were dangerous, deadly things beyond his control.
Sin finally calmed down enough that Sol backed off. As he watched Doo crawl on to Sin's lap, clutching both their braids in one of his chubby hands, Sol remembered his life before he met the others. It was brutal, mean and savaged. He evaded murderers, soldiers and perverts for the simple knowledge of surviving one more day. He watched others die without batting an eyelid. The two instances he tried to ensure the survival of another only proved how impossible it was. Six month ago, he was shoved neck-deep back into the past, with the responsibility of saving others again.
He nearly didn't succeed that time.
"Sin, I think we all need to talk about this."
"No we don't! We're okay. Aiah...I'm just a lil' freaked out, s'thatz all. Ya know, da mission."
Boy, do not be swayed! KNOW YOUR PLACE!
"Yeah right! Before, every time one of us mentions it you start twitching."
Sin got on the defensive immediately.
"I. Do. Not. Twitch. Sol, take that back, ya sex deprived git!"
"Make me, short, dark and girly."
"You…I…what…. AHHHHGGGG!"
Doo tugged his braid.
"Why you so scared Sini? Are they bad people?"
REMEMBER WHAT I SHOWED YOU! REMEMBER THE TRUTH! REMEMBER YOUR SALVATION!
"Um…no…It's…not…"
Prat poped up next to him, "Is it because they're really strict? Because-I-think-they-really-strict-an'-they-growl-when-they-don't-like-my-game-butmygameisreallyreallyfunandIalwaysletthemplayandLenasaysthattheonlyreasontheyrelikedatishbecausethey-"
Everyone stared in awe as Prat rambled on.
"Um...definitely not that shit."
"Oh thank you God!"
The boy had moved from talking about his game to frantically writing out something out on drawing paper. The entire room flinched when Prat began giggling.
Max tried valiantly to get the conversation back on track.
"Uh…Okay, so you're not afraid of them. Um…so what's the problem?"
HOW DARE YOU ASSUME ANY PLACE AROUND THEM! YOU DON'T BELONG THERE! YOU ARE NOT OF THERE WORLD!
Sin looked down for a moment, mumbling something under his breath. Max and Sol looked at each other inquisitively. However Doo's reaction was peculiar. At first he looked very surprised, but then a small smile spread across his cheeks. Doo let go of Sin's braid, then calmly reached up and gave Sin a hug. Sin was surprised at first; Doo never initiated contact with the others. But moments later, he melted into the hug, a rather anxious expression dancing across his face. It was at that moment that Max understood.
YOU BELONG TO ME!
"It isn't them you're freaking about. You're afraid of you!"
Sin blushed.
"It explains everything!"
"Huh?"
"Sol, don't you get it? He doesn't have a problem with what they offered. He has a problem with him being part of what they offered."
Explains? This has NOTHING to do with explanation! Finally, my teachings have bared fruit!
"Wha-"
"It makes sense now. The missions. The pushing himself. The lack of self-preservation.
Even that last suicide stunt!"
Abominations have only one release!
"It wasn't a stunt!"
"So, what was it?"
"I didn't wanna tell you anyting…"
"Why?"
Sin shrugged helplessly.
Yes boy, let them know the truth! Let them know the truth and see your true depravity!
Sol raised one disbelieving eyebrow at Max.
"You gotta be shittin' me!"
The boys had all congregated into a circle, with Sin the awkward centre of the conversation.
"Okay, let me get this shit straight," Sin flinched, "You're telling me that the reason you haven't made a decision is because you are afraid of you?"
Listen to the boy! Truly he has more recognition that you would ever hope for, you despicable…
"Yeah, but… but Sol ya…you…"
"Sin, of course I don't get it. They want us. For the first time fuckin' someone wants us! Unconditionally!"
Why would they want…
"I know but I…"
"Sol, stop being a jackass. Let me handle it, okay?"
Sol froze in mid-rant at Max's quiet command. Realizing that he was serious, Sol flung his hands up and settled back into his seat with a huff. Max just rolled his eyes in return.
Oh God! Boy, do not listen to this babble! He has already forsaken mercy…
"I resent being called a jackass!"
"Whatever, deal with it."
Max took pleasure in Sol's sputtering.
"Sin, I thought you like them? They don't have any problem with you. As a matter of fact, I think they have more in common with you than the rest of us."
"I like them…I really... it's just…"
"What? What is it?"
"I…I…"
Sol grew impatient, "Com'un Sin, what could possibly be wrong now? Huh? What, do you think that you're too good for them? That you're so strong that you don't need anyone?"
Sol! That's low!"
"No…it's not that!"
"So WHAT IS IT?"
"SOL!!!"
"BECAUSE I'LL KILL THEM!"
Yes, the sweet …release…
The room was a vacuum of sound. Max stared at Sin in horror.
"Wha…. What did you-"
"Ya heard me!' Sin was growling now, his skinny shoulders laboring under the stress of his harsh breathing. Doo hadn't moved, but the tight grip on Sin's sweater, made everyone on edge. "I'll kill 'em! I can, this is what I was designed for! This is MY purpose!"
"You can't be serious!"
"I bloody, fuckin' can!"
Yes, be their salvation. Save them from their own damnation!
Prat was terrified.
"But…but why?"
"You think now that everythingz over, things are just fine an' dandy? Heh,! A fuckin' fancy dream. I. Am. A. Killer. Kno' bout twenty way ta kill someone! Kill! Don't you get it! People who kill don't need a normal life!"
Sol sat back in shock
"So you're waitin
for a new war?"
Sin sighed in desperation. "You don't get
it. The fighting never…ended…not for me. It not gonna
end…they'll keep comin' an comin…an' they won't give
up..."
That's right! Your existence is nothing than a manifestation of evil. You cannot hope to change, to be one with them…yearn for an abomination…
…they'll…they'll…"
"They'll only stop when they own you or when you don't exist."
Max's voice was so quiet that in the still air that it seemed to blend into the walls that surrounded them. But in that false silence, something broke.
"It's as if they see you for what you are. They want you for what you are. But…it's a nasty, rank kind of a desire. Every time thay see you they see potential. They see you they only see a tool that they can mould to complete they mission. You don't exist. You're nothing more that something that they can violate and destroy. They want to destroy the last bit of humanity left in you. 'Till you're empty and ready, ready to be shape you in their image. And the horrifying thing about it is…there is something inside that you likes it. It yearns for it, to be hurt, beaten down, destroyed. It will do everything in its power to get what it wants, even if it has to take you and everyone around with it. As a matter of fact, the more people it gets, the better."
Ahhhh! My message has bared fruit. Maxwell, I so despaired for your deliverance…
Sin stared at Max in terrified astonishment with a gasp of hope. He wasn't the only one.
"I take it I got it right, huh?"
"Bah…how…I…"
"It's a good thing I stopped listening to that shit a long time ago."
Too late…oh, too late… must save this last one…and bring our salvation…
Hope died and Sin could feel the punch all the way to his spine.
"Max, that's not nice! You're mean!" Prat's shout of anger consumed his own body. Doo said nothing but his small body reverberated in rage as he scrambled out Sin's lap, thrusting himself in front of Max.
"Take. That. Back."
"No I won't. I refuse to acknowledge that type of though in any of you….just as I refused to acknowledge it in myself. To give up is to totally trivialize his and our life experiences. Everything that we've had to sacrifice would have meant nothing if we decide to remove ourselves. It's as if we can't even trust ourselves in the world we have created."
What blasphemy you speak! You are the sacrifice! WE ARE THE SACRIFICE!
"But… I can't…"
"Why?"
"Because…I can kill people…and they say I'm uncontrollable…and I don't like authority…an' I have no compassion."
SACRIFICE! DEATH MUST BE A SACRIFICE!
"So does everyone else here."
Sol was shivering, his T-shirt sticking to his lean chest.
"I...remember that…too."
All eyes sung to the teenager on the couch.
"I remember I use to hear the voice telling me that…" he took a steadying breath, "telling me that…I did well…for sacrificing others to survive. That I was truly special…in my…brutality…my lack of…respect for…those around me."
Yess….see. HE REMEMBERS
"Was it right?" Hope crept into Sin's voice. Sol smiled sadly.
"I don't know…I stopped paying attention to it…a while ago."
AAHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGG!
"Getting back to the problem at hand. The reason why you have been trying to commit ritual suicide is because you think that you don't deserve anything that they are offering. Right?"
Sin nodded his head reluctantly.
"Good, then I have only one thing to say."
Max nudged Doo out of the way to crouch in front of Sin.
"Why didn't you tell us?"
Sin…blinked. So did Doo, and Prat, who had been winding up for another half crazed rant, suddenly found his small mind minus words and valiantly trying to catch up with the entire change of scenery.
"Sin, you right about one thing, the fighting doesn't end. It never does, particularly for people like us. However that doesn't mean that life is supposed to be a perpetual battle."
LIES! ALL LIES!
"Huh, didn't he just say…"
"I'm not done yet, Prat."
"Oh, sorry, continue."
"Anyhow, we've all been trained in one way or the other to be exactly who we are. Sometimes it not be the best of people…"
"Max, why are you lookin' at me?"
"No reason Sol, no reason."
"We are not perfect. You are not perfect. The great thing about this is that we don't have to do it anymore. Do you think I enjoyed being the way I was?"
Sin shook his head mutely.
NO BOY! DO NOT GIVE! YOU ARE SO CLOSE!...so close…
" Exactly, but I knew I had to do things so that all of us survived. Same for Sol and Prat, and you too Doo." Doo smiled happily.
"But…buh suppose ai…"
"What is it now?"
Sin's voice fell to a whisper, "Suppose…I hurt Doo again?"
Yes Maxwell…try to warp this for the others…
The others stared in disbelief while Doo subconsciously massaged his cast.
"Doo? What do you mean Doo?"
Max closed his eyes wearily.
"Remember…out of all of you, I met Sin first…it wasn't friendly…actually, I had to…strong-arm him into submission…because he was…he was going to bludgeon Doo to death with a pipe."
Maxwell, you will pay dearly for what you did…
"What the-"
"Sin had to destroy an OZ compound, one of the last place that were storing of Gundanium for OZ's new doll mobile suits. He had followed my orders perfectly. Unfortunately, there were three emergency bunkers not listed on the mission briefing. To make matters worse, we had a leak, so the general in charge had warning. They were able to alert their men and their families…"
…it was necessary…the sacred order of things…
"I…killed 'em…I heard 'em screaming…scrappin' at the…metal doors…"
"The General was so confident in his defenses, that he ordered his men to evacuated their families to specially prepared areas on the compound…The bombs used were designed to saturate the air with a chemical that, when in contact with heat, becomes extremely explosive… Two of the largest canisters were planted… in the ventilation pipes that connected the bunkers. They worked…really well."
…life and death…a cycle of renewal…good and evil…an image of example…
"…even…the babies…"
"We only realized where we hit…once the screaming became clear over Deathsynch's speakers…According to reports, it was hailed as the greatest offensive against the hated OZ regime. Everyone celebrated the General's defeat…but…"
Sin 's voice was barely noticeable.
"I killed exactly 5780 adults and…and…7902 kids. Some were there because…they couldn't get a job anywhere else."
God uses evil boy, evil for his good…then he destroyes it…it is the way of things…
Sol collapsed into the sofa.
"Oh fuckin' hell…but what does this hafta do wit…"
The call of blood. Sweet innocent blood that is his only control, his only aphrodisiac. He needed more blood. But you stopped the blessing…the cleansing…
"He went off. By the time I found him, he had knocked Doo to the ground and had already broken his arm. It took about 48 hours before I could release him…and even then I had to lock him down for months."
And now you have damned us all…you have damned the world….
"It…said …that this…was what I had…had to …do…that weak …things …couldna…be spared…because…in the en'…it …wouda…been …corrupted…dat…I was doin'…everyone a favor…"
"But Sini, ifyoo kill Doo, you would hafta die!" Prat's eyes were glazed over in horror.
"I know! I'm sorry!"
Sin had collapsed on himself. While Max told everyone the story, Sin began to crawl away, the cold around him forcing him into a corner. It was too good to be true. He knew he was evil and he tried so desperately to change. To fit into this new world. He wanted to be welcomed; loved. He wanted to not to bad things. He wanted to enjoy everything that he yearned for. But the people were right, the man was right. He was created for one purpose. Good people would never accept him, he had taken their goodness. With his hands he took people's happiness, and thus their goodness. God hates evil people. But he despises those who create evil people even more.
Yes, you are evil! EVIL! Evil and weak! You had the tools to end this…but gave in…you gave in to the sweet temptation of evil. They have damned themselves. By their thirst for what is not theirs, they have become rank …
Doo looked down at his broken arm, then at Sin. Under the rim of the dingy plaster, his tiny wrist was still tinged with a pukish green. He never questioned the pain he went through and still experienced; he never questioned the moments the pain came. But he did wish it would end. He really liked Sin. He always protected him and listened to him. It hurt so much when Sin tried to kill…he was so angry, so tired of being hurt, of being ignored, and being shut down by everyone.
Yes, the boy is your enemy. He hurt you! He can't be trusted…
Doo was tired of being the small weak one.
Yes, remind him of his purpose!
He was going to show everyone what a big boy he was..
Do it! Let him know his place! Let him LIBERATE US
Doo staggered to his feet, facing Sin's dark corner with a look he normally used for chocolate-chip cookie acquisition. Sin had buried himself in his clothing, his entire being trembled. But his eyes, they were glowing…
Doo took a calming breath, and stalked into the shadow. Max had just finished reassuringPrat when he happened to look up and watch as Doo stalked towards Sin. But Sin's eyes, they glowed, creating an un-natural shade of blue, the same blue that he…
"Doo! No!"
Doo stooped in front of Sin, just as the teenager raised his head. His eyes were dead, glowing mutely under the brim of his cap. Flashes of pain raced through Doo as he gazed into them. Sin growled low in his throat.
"What do you want?"
Yes…finally…you all will be free…I will be free… the just reward for our disgrace, our sins will be released…and we will be purified…
Doo clumsily grasped Sin's face. His chubby little fingers surprisingly firm against Sin's cold skin. Sin stared carefully at the little boy in front of him, his body straining to spring, barely restrained by some invisible barrier.
Take this last step…complete your final kill.
Doo tilted his head to the side and started intently at Sin. Then, making some decision in his mind, he closed his eyes took a deep breath...
Do it do it now!
Then bent over and kissed Sin firmly on the nose.
It was the longest and noisiest kiss anyone had ever heard. Sin could feel the air as it tickled his skin. He even got a faint whiff of the cookies that Doo and Prat had earlier.
"What the-"
"No fuckin'…"
"Coool!"
Nooo!
The kiss stopped as instantly as it started. Doo was standing at his full height looked down on Sin, smiling brightly. Sin stared up at him in terrified awe.
"Sini?"
"Yeah?" Sin's voice was a mere breath.
No, don't do this…NO DAMNIT!
"I forgive you."
Then his encased arm shot out and smacked Sin upside the head.
"But stop being a poopie-head."
Max slowly stood up as Sin jerked against the wall. The glow in his eyes was still there, but even he could see a mask of uncertaintity fighting valiantly for dominence. Doo seemed totally unconcern about his own safety as he began to rock on his heel, a smile disturbingly similar to Prat on a bad day.
"What in the name of St. Dickwad of fucktarts just happened?'
No boy! Don't give in! NO! STOP IT! STOP IT BEFORE THEY COMPLETELY CORRUPT YOU! STOP IT NOW!
Sin's head shot up, his eyes staring intently at Doo. Doo stop rocking, but continued to look directly into Sin's eyes. Max knew that although he looked calm, Doo was ready to move; the boy was a quick learner.
"Maaaxx…"
"Sol, get Prat next to you, now."
Sin kept looking looking at Doo, his eyes trying to find some weakness, some hint.
"Sin?"
It was as if Max's voice flipped a switch. Sin sprung on Doo, his arms grasping Doo's frail body to him, his dirty fingers looking like claws against the boy's overalls
"Sin! PLEASE!"
Doo naturally caught unawares by the force of Sin's launch, backpedaled as much as he could within Sin's stifling embrace. But he could feel Sin's hot, ragged breath on his skin. Water dripped down his neck as Sin rocked back, dragging him along.
And Sin seemed to be…blubbering
"I'msosorryimsosorryimsosorryimsosorryimsosorryimsosorryimsosorry"
NO YOU STUPID IDIOT! HE'S LYING! HE'S PLAYING WITH YOU!
Doo's inbred senses told him that he might have done something wrong.
Max was half way across the room before his brain stopped playing the worst-case scenario. Before him was not a mass miasma of blood and ragging animal, instead only a confused and progressively scared Doo surrounded by a mass of quivering Sin.
"Max, I think I hit his head too hard…", Doo was ready to cry himself.
Max moved quickly, approaching the two boys quietly.
"No Doo, you didn't do anything wrong," He took a moment to pat Sin's shoulder, but all he got was a longer wail, "um, he's just trying to let go of…um…a lot of things…"
The other began to approach slowly as Sin's tearful rage began to pitter out.
"What just happened?"
"Yeah, he crying like a girly girl"
"Prat, that's mean!"
"But Doo, look at him."
"That's enough you too!" Prat and Doo shut up, but both continued to glare each other down. Max turned to a now whimpering Sin.
"Yo, Sin? Sin? Look at me kid."
Sin slowly looked up, his red-rimmed eyes looking absolutely hopeless.
"Sin, we all forgive you. We forgive for the times you couldn't hold on and the times you gave in. We know what it is like," Max then smiled, "So we forgive you."
DON'T LISTEN BOY, THEY'RE JUST SAYING THT SO YOU COULD SPARE THEIR NASTY LITTLE EXISTANCE! QUICK, KILL THEM! KILL THEM NOW! BE OUR LIBERATOR!
Sin's eyes opened wildly as he looked at the others.
"Re…re…(sniffle) really?"
"Yes, all we ask is that…" Max took a moment to think it through; "all we ask is that you forgive us for not trying harder. For not supporting you."
"But…but..."
"No, we are just as guilty as you. We were so concerned about doing our jobs right, that we failed to realize that we don't exist within ourselves. I should have picked this up the first time you snapped. But I was so determined to… anyhow, please forgive us for not fighting harder for you."
Sin looked at Max, trying to see if he was joking or testing him. Max looked right back, his face, for the first time completely open. Prat bounded to the other side of Sin, throwing his arm over the boy's shoulder.
"Yeah, we were being really stupid. Next time we'll do better."
NO!!!! DON'T YOU GET IT? WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EXIST! WE ARE MERE CREATIONS! YOU'RE MY CREATION! YOU'RE NOT NEEDED! WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING THIS DESTINY…ME?"
Sol approached Sin from Max's side. He stooped down and pulled Sin into his arms, allowing Doo to be released. It was as if a new well of tears burst within him. Sin grabbed on to Sol and cried his heart out. Soon, Prat and Doo joined in. Then Max joined in. It was a mass of bodies, only one was shaking in grief and anger and terror, but it was okay. For the first time in his short life Sin felt safe. It may not last but at least he knew that he was finally getting the opportunity to experience it.
YOU WILL REGRET THIS! GOD WILL RAIN HIS JUSTICE ON YOU! ALL YOU HOLD DEAR WILL BE DESTROYED AND THEN WHAT WOULD YOU BE…NOTHING!!!NOTHING!!!! YOU HAD A CHOICE, I TRIED TO SAVE YOU, BUT YOU REJECTED ME. SO I WASH MY HANDS OF YOU! DO YOU HEAR ME? I WSH MY HANDS AND REJOYCE AT YOUR DESTRUCTION!
It wasn't so bad.
You haven't gotten rid of me. I will wait, and when you al fall, I will be ready…me and my black shard of death.
Really.
It was five in the afternoon and hazy warmth seeped through the spacious living room. …
And Duo realized that he had lost his touch.
Really, it wasn't as if decades had past since the last war. Two years was never enough time for anyone to forget all the hard learned technique of surviving combat. Furthermore, as the Demolition specialist for the Preventers demanded that he was perpetually on the alert.
So why the hell could he not remember when Heero and Wufei joined him on the couch?
He was on the couch entertaining Quatre and Relena's youngest, Fatima. She had inherited her mother's love for pink and her father's ability to negotiate. Thus he found himself participating in an elaborate tea party with Mr. Snuffles and Hoppy Pants the Bunny in exchange for a two-hour nap. Rather that her own bed, Fatima had chosen his lap since it was 'comfy and it smelt pretty', and it had taken her all of three minutes to fall asleep. He had been looking at a documentary about wolves and he knew that Relena had checked in once o make sure he was okay. So naturally he was surprised when he looked up to find Heero on his left, his arm casually around his shoulder, with Wufei on the right, with Duo hand firmly cradled in his.
"Alright, you guys have really got to tell me how you do that."
Heero glanced at him before readjusting his arm and returning to he show.
"Do what, Duo?"
"You know what. The whole stealth-mode-I'm-not-here-oh-wait-now-I-am routine. Seriously, in the wrong light, you two would be considered stalkers."
Wufei snorted in amusement.
"Please, stealth does not equal stalking. Besides Duo, it's not like you're in the middle of nowhere. Paranoia is unhealthy."
"Hah! Sez you! Quatre's mansion No. 68 is in the middle of nowhere. We all had to take two flights to get to the private jet. And that took a 48-hour lay over. And as for your parting shot, Wufei; trust me, it's only paranoia when they aren't out to get you."
Everyone chuckled softly at Duo's response, but underneath there was a slight tension. If that mantra was true for anyone, it was for Doo. Within a three-month period Duo learned not only to recognize paranoia, rely on it to keep himself and the other victims alive.
"So…whatz up with you guys? You two don't move like this unless you have something really important to say."
And it was true; the first time Duo saw them move about so quietly, they had eventually announced that they were a couple. That was a surprise, especially for Duo who had become accustomed to Heero and Wufei snarling at each other. He was happy for them though; they seemed to love each other in their own anally retentive way. The second time however was a lot more nerve wrecking for him. He had always had a good relationship with them individually, pairing up with one or the other both during the wars and in Preventer missions. So when Wufei, and later Heero began to avoid him, it left him a bit off balance. He guarded his relationships very closely, knowing how quickly he could loose them.
The fact that he had unrequited feelings for them only made the situation worse.
He loved them, had loved them since the night they held him and let him cry after a mission went horribly wrong. But he always knew within himself that to try to develop anything passed the confines of friendship would be equal to a death sentence.
They seemed to disagree as right before he was to leave on a reconnaissance mission, they asked him out on a date…both of them…
Together.
Without even thinking he had said yes, and so began seven months of dating. There were moments when he worried, moments when the outside world, through either jealousy or misunderstanding, tried to stop them. But he had been finally comfortable enough to give in to someone.
Unfortunately someone choose to take advantage of this.
In a moment of complacency, the one monster in his past came back to life and took him away. By its savagery, it was waiting for him for a very long time.
Heero shifted slightly at Duo's question, glancing rather furtively at Wufei. Wufei looked at Heero, then Duo for a second before picking up the remote and hitting the mute button.
"Duo, we need to talk."
Oh, that's the reason. Duo grew very still.
"Duo…"Heero began, looking off into space, "we…we want to know if…well…"
"What Heero is trying to say is…we want to know if you would give us another chance..."
"Huh? Wha-? Whadda you…"
"Just hear us out," Doo blinked but remained silent, "we have been giving you time to get reacquainted with everyone since we got you back. Both Relena and Sally said that it would be best that you have enough space; unfortunately they speak from experience. But…but we want to know that we…well we aren't waiting in vain."
"We're not saying that you have to make decision now, " Heero interjected hurriedly "Hell, if you told us to fuck off, it would be your right to. But…"
"I don't mind going steady with you guys."
Both Heero's and Wufei's minds stuttered to a stop at Duo's quiet declaration. Both turned to catch Duo staring very intently at Fatima's silently moving back.
"Com'un guys, it's not like I could forget what we were doing before…I refuse to let that…man stop me from being happy," Duo smiled to himself, "an' surprisingly I seem happiest with you anally-repressed assholes."
Heero gently turned Duo 's head towards him with the tips of his fingers. Duo had his trademark grin plastered across his face. However, his eyes, which three-month ago were wild and empty, had a sliver of fear and determination running through them. Once again, Heero was reminded of Quatre's observation that the Duo who was taken never returned. Wufei had also pointed out that there was a possibility that Duo was so changed that he would be unwilling or unable to be with them. But now staring into his eyes, he realized that the changes were not bad.
Heero looked at Wufei, who grabbed Duo's attention by now rubbing his knuckles against Duo's other cheek.
"Wufei, I don't think he's lying."
Duo was incensed, "The Hell Not! Listen bub, If I say Ima gonna do somethin' Im gonna do it."
Wufei smiled mischievously, "Oh really, so why is it you avoid us when we try to kiss you."
Duo huffed in indignation, "Well first, you two did not ask permission, that was ungentlemanly-like."
Heero smirked, his arm winding his way between the cushion and Duo back to circle his waist, "And the other reason."
"Remember who is my tag-along for this vacation. Fatima is as sharp as a whip. I already shit myself having to explain why David was humpin' Goliath in the cage. I refuse to be the one to explain the process of and reasons for the tonsil molesting that you horny bastards are so want to do to me."
With that Heero and Wufei burst out laughing, disturbing Fatima (who quite emphatically let everyone know her irritation.) After deliverance via Quatre, the trio found themselves alone again, finally free and comfortable enough to being the slow recovery of their relationship.
Relena, worried about Duo's state of mind with the resurgence of his boyfriends' attentions, asked if he was sure. There were still nights when he spent the majority of the time screaming awake. Now he had people around him who were supportive, yet willing to give him space.
The voice, the bastard was wrong.
And finally the rest of him figured it out.
It was more of a consensus…really.
Owari…nee