Waiting for Minako (The Script)
by DDFA (Mark A Page)
EPISODE 01
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Announcer: In the grand tradition of grand traditions, we
completely fail to bring you something of any substance.
Waiting for Minako. Not available in stereo for that
crystal clear mono experience.
FX: The sound of a city during the day, with traffic, birds and the
occasional inexplicable explosion.
Announcer: Somewhere in the labyrinthine depths of Tokyo City's
Juuban District, two ex-stars of a certain magic girl
anime tv show, Kino Makoto and Mizuno Ami, found
themselves standing by a small brick wall that divided
a public park from an adjoining street. Their purpose
for being here.... They were waiting for their friend,
Aino Minako.
Dir: Long period of silence.
Announcer: It was a long wait for two people with so little to say
to each other....
Dir: Another long period of silence.
Makoto: She's late.
Ami: Yes, she is late.
Dir: Long pause.
Makoto: Very very late.
Ami: Yes, she is very very late.
Dir: Long pause.
Makoto: I wonder why she's late.
Dir: Pause.
Ami: Maybe she missed her bus.
Dir: Long pause.
Makoto: One of many possibilities.
Ami: Yes, one of many possibilities.
Makoto: After all, this is Minako we're talking about.
Ami: Yes, yes, this is Minako we're talking about.
Makoto: She's always like this.
Ami: Yes, she's always like this.
Dir: Long pause.
Makoto: What are you looking at?
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: Hello, Ami? What are you looking at?
Ami: (Distracted) Hmm?
Makoto: You're staring at the ground, what are you looking at?
Ami: Oh, it's just an ant.
Makoto: An ant?
Ami: Hai.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: We have an abiding interest in ants, do we?
Ami: No, it's just carrying something on its back.
Makoto: What?
Ami: Looks like a breadcrumb.
Dir: Pause.
Ami: Amazing, isn't it, how they carry many times their own
bodyweight?
Makoto: Yes, it is amazing.
Ami: Yes, very amazing.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: She's late, you know.
Ami: Yes, very late.
Makoto: Very, very late.
Ami: Yes, very very late.
Dir: Long pause.
Makoto: Maybe she's been distracted.
Ami: Yes, that might be a possibility.
Makoto: After all, this is Minako-chan.
Ami: Yes, yes, this is Minako-chan.
Makoto: She's easy to distract.
Ami: Yes, easy to distract.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: You don't think she could have forgotten?
Ami: That is a possibility.
Makoto: After all, this is Minako-chan we're talking about.
Ami: Yes, yes, this is Minako-chan we're talking about.
Makoto: She could have let all the arrangements slip from her
mind.
Ami: Yes, clean out of her head.
Makoto: She's known for this, of course.
Ami: Yes, she's known for it.
Dir: Long pause.
Makoto: Yes, she forgot we were going shopping last week.
Ami: Yes, she forgot.
Makoto: Clean forgot.
Ami: Yes, it just went clean out of her head.
Makoto: Was distracted by her mother.
Ami: Had to do an errand, I seem to remember.
Makoto: Yes, that was it. An errand.
Ami: Yes, an errand.
Makoto: Did the errand, and in the meantime forgot.
Ami: Yes, she forgot.
Dir: Pause.
Ami: But she still remembered what she was supposed to do
during the errand.
Makoto: Yes, she remembered.
Ami: She could have remembered about the shopping.
Makoto: Yes, she could have remembered.
Ami: She SHOULD have remembered.
Makoto: Yes, she SHOULD have remembered.
Ami: So why didn't she?
Makoto: I don't know.
Ami: Ho hum.
Dir: Long pause.
Ami: What are you looking at?
Makoto: Hmm?
Ami: What are you looking at? You're staring into the air.
Makoto: Oh, there is a bee sitting on that flower, over there.
Ami: Is there?
Makoto: Yes, look.
Dir: Pause.
Ami: So there is.
Makoto: Bees never forget what they have to do.
Ami: No, they don't.
Makoto: They just work and work and work and produce honey and
look after the Queen bee and the baby bees and all....
Ami: Yes, they never forget that they are bees.
Makoto: Yes, they never forget.
Ami: Yes.
Dir: Long pause.
Makoto: She's late, you know.
Ami: Yes, very late.
Makoto: Very, very late.
Ami: Yes, very very late.
Dir: Long pause.
Makoto: You know, maybe she really DID forget to meet us here.
Ami: Yes, probably.
Makoto: After all, this is Minako we're talking about, here.
Ami: Yes. Yes. It is.
Makoto: I mean, she's probably ditzing around her house,
wondering if there was something she forgot to do.
Ami: Oh, definately, definately.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: I mean, it's not as if it would be the first time.
Ami: Yes, yes. She's done it before.
Makoto: Ignore all her responsibilities....
Ami: And her arrangements.
Makoto: The girl is just, like, incorrigible.
Ami: Inept.
Makoto: Incompetent.
Ami: Moronic.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: I think that's taking it a little too far.
Ami: Yes. Yes, it is.
Makoto: I mean, she's not really that bad, is she?
Ami: No. Nowhere near that bad.
Makoto: I mean, just because she has regular ditz sessions....
Ami: Everyones' allowed to have their odd moments.
Makoto: Their foibles and such.
Ami: Indeed. Indeed.
Dir: Long pause. The sound of a jet flying over.
Makoto: What are you looking at, now?
Ami: Hmm?
Makoto: What are you looking at? You're staring into space.
Ami: Just looking at the plane up there.
Makoto: Plane?
Ami: Yes, that one.
Makoto: I hate planes.
Ami: Oops, forgot about that.
Makoto: I really hate planes.
Ami: I'm sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned it.
Makoto: Mama and Papa died in a plane.
Ami: Forget I even mentioned it, okay?
Makoto: Came crashing to earth....
Ami: Technically speaking, though, it is a jet.
Makoto: The effect that had on me....
Ami: Yes, a Boeing, i think it is.
Makoto: All that pain I had to endure.
Ami: Boeing 737. Or an Airbus A300.... One of the two.
Makoto: All because of bloody planes.
Ami: Yes, a bitch, isn't it?
Dir: Pause. There is a loud explosion in the background, plus a
few distant cries of terror.
Ami: The plane....
Makoto: What about it?
Ami: It's exploded.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: So it has.
Ami: Port engine just went "kaboom".
Makoto: Fire and smoke everywhere.
Ami: It's spinning to the ground.
Makoto: Lots of people will die....
Ami: Oh well. Not much we can do about it.
Dir: Pause. Sound of plane plummeting to the ground in the b/g.
Makoto: Yeah, you're right.
Dir: Explosion as plane hits the ground.
Ami: Ouch.
Makoto: Jeez.
Ami: That was a big explosion.
Makoto: Yeah, I could feel it from here.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: Is aircraft fuel always that explosive?
Ami: Mostly.
Makoto: I see.
Ami: Indeed.
Makoto: Yes.
Ami: Hmm....
Dir: Long pause. The sound of sirens and screams in the b/g.
Makoto: She's late, you know.
Ami: Yes, very late.
Makoto: Very, very late.
Ami: Yes, very very late.
Makoto: Yes, very very late.
Ami: Yes, she is, isn't she?
Makoto: Oh, I wholeheartedly agree.
Ami: I wonder where she's got to.
Makoto: Maybe she was where that plane came down.
Dir: Pause.
Ami: Nah, that's not possible. She lives nowhere near that
part of town.
Makoto: Yeah, you're right, as usual.
Dir: Pause.
Ami: What do you mean by "as usual".
Makoto: Hmm?
Ami: What do you mean by "as usual"?
Makoto: Mean? I meant you're always right about these things.
Ami: Are you saying I'm a smartarse?
Makoto: What makes you think that I think that!?!
Dir: Pause.
Ami: Sorry.
Makoto: I should think so, too.
Ami: I must be getting touchy.
Makoto: Yeah, all this waiting is beginning to get to me, too.
Dir: Long pause.
Ami: Maybe she's doing this, deliberately.
Makoto: Eh?
Ami: Maybe she made alternative arrangements with Usagi-chan
and Rei-chan.
Makoto: Now that's just being silly.
Ami: Are you calling me silly?
Makoto: Yes, I'm calling you silly. You're allowing your
imagination to run away with you.
Ami: I am not, and it is a genuine possibility.
Makoto: Well I say it's all in your head.
Ami: Tis not.
Makoto: Tis so.
Ami: Tis not.
Makoto: Tis so.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: Well, have you given up?
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: What ARE you staring at?
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: Ami?
Ami: There is someone rowing a boat down the street.
Makoto: Eh?
Ami: No kidding. There is someone rowing a boat down the
street.
Makoto: Now I know you're letting your imagination run away with
you.
Ami: Look for yourself.
Dir: Long pause.
Rower: (Quietly at first, getting louder as he goes past, then
quieting again as he disappears) Stroke. Stroke.
Stroke. Stroke. Stroke. Stroke....
Makoto: What do you know.... There IS someone rowing a boat
down the street.
Ami: On little wheels no less.
Makoto: What a novel way to get around.
Ami: If not a little silly.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: She's probably hiding around the corner, having a good
laugh at our expense.
Ami: Yes. yes, she probably is.
Makoto: That bloody cow! I bet she's just over there, behind
that row of bushes, chuckling away all to herself.
Ami: Yes.
Makoto: Some friend she is, doing this to us. Why I ought to
give her the pounding of her life.
Ami: Hmm.
Dir: Sound of turning pages.
Makoto: I'd like to see her get out of this one. She's probably
turn up with that sickening smile on her face, all
innocent. As if we didn't know what was going on.
Ami: Hmm.
Makoto: Well, she's got another think coming if she tries to
outwit Kino Makoto. Yessiree.
Ami: Yes.
Makoto: Hehehe. Just you wait, you blond ditz. These fists are
for you!
Ami: Hai.
Dir: Pause. Sound of turning pages continues.
Makoto: Don't just pull out a book like that and start reading
when I'm trying to talk to you.
Ami: Hmm.
Makoto: It's so rude.
Ami: Hai.
Makoto: Are you listening to me?
Ami: Hmm.
Makoto: You're not listening to me, are you?
Ami: Hmm.
Makoto: Hey Ami, wanna date with Umino?
Ami: Hai.
Makoto: Did you get to sleep with Urawa-san?
Ami: Hmm.
Makoto: Do you like swimming nude in chocolate custard?
Ami: Yes.
Makoto: Is Rei a self-obsessed pyromaniac?
Ami: Hmm.
Makoto: Does Minako give head to all the boys in the locker
room?
Ami: (Realising what Mako is saying) Hmm?
Makoto: I see you've finally woken up.
Ami: Does Minako do WHAT?
Makoto: Well, at least you can still be roused out of your
bookworm fugue, if nothing else.
Ami: Mako-chan, that's sick! How could you say such a
thing about Mina-chan?
Makoto: It's a good thing you didn't pay attention to all
the other things I said.
Ami: Like what?
Makoto: Forget it. It isn't important.
Ami: Mako-chan....
Makoto: What's your book about?
Ami: Hmm?
Makoto: What's your book about?
Ami: You mean this book?
Makoto: Yes, that book. Can you see any other books lying
about?
Ami: There's no need to be rude.
Makoto: Sorry.
Ami: If you're vaguely interested, it happens to be an
educational summary on the life cycle of the garden
snail.
Makoto: You're right, I was only vaguely interested.
Ami: To which I say it is extremely slow reading.
Dir: Long pause.
Makoto: You're pulling my leg, aren't you?
Dir: Long pause.
Ami: Yes.
Makoto: Why, you little....
Ami: Ah ah ah.... Settle down, now. Remember why we're here.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: To wait for Minako?
Ami: Good guess. Ten points for Mako-chan.
Makoto: She's really late, you know.
Ami: Hmm.
Makoto: Really, really late.
Ami: Hmm.
Makoto: Will you stop zoning off into your book and pay more
attention to me?
Ami: But I'm booooooored.
Makoto: I know. So am I.... But that's no excuse for ignoring
me when I'm trying to talk to you.
Ami: Un.
Makoto: Don't "un" me. It's totally out of character for Minako
to forget to go shopping. I mean, when was the last
time she did that?
Ami: Last week.
Makoto: No, you silly fool. I mean before that.
Ami: Two weeks ago.
Makoto: You know.... You're right. There is definitely a
pattern evolving here.
Ami: I think she's starting to lose it.
Makoto: "Starting to lose it? Starting to lose it?" What do
you mean she's "starting" to lose it? She's been losing
it from long before we first met her.
Ami: Considering we first met her in the Moon Kingdom, then
she should have reached the point of advanced dementia.
Makoto: Yeah. She was probably like that, then.
Ami: Definite necrosis of the neural tissue.
Makoto: Eh?
Ami: Her brain is starting to rot away. She'd be lucky to
still have a functioning cerebellum.
Makoto: What's a cerebellum?
Ami: Yes, the first bit to go would have been the frontal
lobe. That would have completely screwed up her
personality. Then all the other lobes of the cerebrum.
The occipital, the parietal, the temporal....
Makoto: Er....
Ami: Then there is the midbrain. I thought I saw cerebro-
spinal fluid running from her ears that day....
Makoto: Ano....
Ami: Although, I have to say, with her boy obsession, she's
still got her pituitary gland.
Makoto: shiddafugginjeezuzstoopidcowlizzentome....
Ami: Hmm.... Definitely signs of someone running on their
brainstem.
Makoto: I know how she feels right now.
Ami: Oh.... Am I confusing you?
Makoto: Oh, no no no no no.....
Ami: Hmm.... It would be nice to think you've managed to get
through all those years of schooling and have learnt
something.
Makoto: Are you calling me stupid?
Ami: No.
Makoto: Well that's alright, then.
Ami: Yes, you just keep thinking that.
Makoto: Did you say something?
Ami: No.
Makoto: Your nose is wiggling.
Ami: Hmm?
Makoto: Your nose is wiggling.
Ami: So?
Makoto: Every time you lie, your nose wiggles.
Dir: Pause.
Ami: (Cutely) Oh Mako-chan....
Makoto: What are you looking at me like that for?
Ami: It's soooo nice to know you know me that intimately.
Dir: Sound of struggle.
Makoto: Hey, wait a minute, stop that! Don't put your arms
around me.... Hey, stop.... I'm not into that kind
of thing....
Ami: Liar.... I know how you felt about Haruka.
Makoto: That was a momentary twinge on my part.
Ami: Oh Mako-chan.... You don't know how much I've been
dreaming about you....
Makoto: You're kidding!
Ami: Yes.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: You COW!
Dir: Sound of slapping.
Ami: Alright, alright, I'll let you go. No need to get
rough.
Makoto: Hmph!
Ami: Of course, you know Usagi and Rei are at it like
rabbits.
Makoto: In a pigs eye.
Ami: Or a Davies.
Makoto: Hmm?
Ami: Don't worry. You won't understand.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: I wonder where she's gotten to.
Ami: Probably sleeping with Artemis.
Makoto: AMI-CHAN!
Ami: Teehee....
Makoto: You know, you've gotten real ecchi in your old age.
Ami: I am NOT ecchi.... I just have my moments....
Makoto: Yeah, where you are a sick, perverted little creep.
Ami: That's not fair. You're as much a sick, perverted
little creep as I am.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: Gee, you know, you're right.
Ami: Nice to see you're admitting to your faults for once.
Makoto: It doesn't change the fact that you go around dissing
others in a perverted manner.... Minako sleep with
Artemis? Oh puhleeeeeze....
Ami: Well, I'm bored.
Makoto: Well, so am I.... Minako is so damn late.
Ami: I wanna do something else, rather than just sit around
here and wait for the blond bubblehead to show up....
Makoto: Ami....
Ami: What?
Makoto: You called Minako a blond bubblehead....
Ami: So?
Makoto: You NEVER call anyone a bubblehead.
Ami: So? What's so special about that?
Makoto: It's SO out of character for you to do that.
Ami: You're right.... It must be my old age. How old are we
all supposed to be, now?
Makoto: Sixteen at last count.
Ami: Sixteen my ass.... Twenty would be more realistic an
age.
Makoto: Shhh.... Don't let anyone hear that.... You'll dispel
a well-worn myth....
Dir: Pause.
Ami: Argh! I can't stand this.... I want to be somewhere
else.
Makoto: Settle down.
Ami: No! I want a holiday from this, with all expenses paid!
Makoto: Don't be silly. We're supposed to be waiting for
Minako.
Ami: I noticed. I just have to mouth off my objections.
Makoto: I mean, it's not as if anyone is going to come along and
replace us for a while, or anything.
FX: Magical trill.
Michiru: You were saying?
Makoto: What the.... Where the hell did Ami go?
Michiru: I replaced her, my dear. She was exhibiting signs of
fanfic fatigue, and the writer decided it was time to
give her a holiday.
Makoto: What the hell.... I didn't know this was in our
contract!
Michiru: That's because you can't read, my dear.
Makoto: Oh yes.... I keep forgetting.
Michiru: Now then.... Where were we?
Makoto: We were waiting for Minako.
Michiru: Ah, now I remember. It says so in the title. Yes, very
well.... We shall wait for Minako with much passion.
Dir: Very long pause. A warped version of "Moonlight Densetsu" can
be heard in the b/g.
Michiru: Ack! That's it! I can't take this!
Makoto: What's wrong with you?
Michiru: How am I expected to wait for that blond-haired imbecile
with someone like you?
Makoto: What are you saying?
Michiru: You're too stupid, my dear, to engender any witty
repartee'. I'm afraid you're going to HAVE to be
replaced, too....
Makoto: Is that an insult?
Michiru: Yes.
Makoto: Why you....
FX: Magical trill.
Haruka: Ah, just in time, it seems.
Michiru: Haruka, my love.
Haruka: Michiru, my darling.
Michiru: Come to my arms.
Dir: Sounds of much divine passion, for as long as you like.
Michiru: This is, most certianly, a lot better.
Haruka: I could see things were not going well between you and
that lame-ass Jupiter. I just HAD to intervene.
Michiru: Yes, but now we face an even greater dilemma.
Haruka: What is that, my love?
Michiru: Why would a pair of suave and sophisticated
intelligentia, like ourselves, be waiting for an inbred
imbecile the likes of Venus?
Haruka: Why, you have a point there.
Michiru: I do declare, that we replace this wait for Venus with a
person of greater standing.
Haruka: How about Setsuna.... She is much more worthy to wait
for.
Michiru: Indeed. We shall wait for Setsuna.
Dir: Pause.
Haruka: She's late.
Michiru: Yes, she's late.
Haruka: Very very late.
Michiru: Yes, she's very very late.
FX: Everything goes silent.
EvilMkna: (Echo) So.... My plan is going to plan. I mean my plan
is going as I expected. I mean.... My plan is
progressing well. Better than expected. Now, all I
have to remember is.... What the hell IS my plan? I
know I had one here, somewhere.... Here planny planny
planny.... Here boy....
Announcer: Who is the evil person with the echoing voice? What has
really happened to Ami and Makoto. Are Haruka and
Michiru waiting for Setsuna? What caused the plane to
crash? Was there really a man rowing a boat with wheels
down the street? For no answers to these questions,
stay tuned for the next exciting episode of WAITING FOR
MINAKO by Dark Day For Anime. out now on VHS, SVHS, LD,
CDV, VCD and DVD in no good retail stores.
END OF EPISODE 01
--------------------------------------------------------------------
_________
/ @ \ DDFA (The Right Dishonourable Mark A Page)
/ / ^ ^ \ \ ayanami@merlin.net.au
/\ Chief Propoganda Officer, Keeper of
\/ \/ the Tapes and Co-Founder of the Saitou-chan
\___________/ Appreciation Society - Adelaide Japanese
/_/ \_\ PU Animation Society
by DDFA (Mark A Page)
EPISODE 01
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Announcer: In the grand tradition of grand traditions, we
completely fail to bring you something of any substance.
Waiting for Minako. Not available in stereo for that
crystal clear mono experience.
FX: The sound of a city during the day, with traffic, birds and the
occasional inexplicable explosion.
Announcer: Somewhere in the labyrinthine depths of Tokyo City's
Juuban District, two ex-stars of a certain magic girl
anime tv show, Kino Makoto and Mizuno Ami, found
themselves standing by a small brick wall that divided
a public park from an adjoining street. Their purpose
for being here.... They were waiting for their friend,
Aino Minako.
Dir: Long period of silence.
Announcer: It was a long wait for two people with so little to say
to each other....
Dir: Another long period of silence.
Makoto: She's late.
Ami: Yes, she is late.
Dir: Long pause.
Makoto: Very very late.
Ami: Yes, she is very very late.
Dir: Long pause.
Makoto: I wonder why she's late.
Dir: Pause.
Ami: Maybe she missed her bus.
Dir: Long pause.
Makoto: One of many possibilities.
Ami: Yes, one of many possibilities.
Makoto: After all, this is Minako we're talking about.
Ami: Yes, yes, this is Minako we're talking about.
Makoto: She's always like this.
Ami: Yes, she's always like this.
Dir: Long pause.
Makoto: What are you looking at?
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: Hello, Ami? What are you looking at?
Ami: (Distracted) Hmm?
Makoto: You're staring at the ground, what are you looking at?
Ami: Oh, it's just an ant.
Makoto: An ant?
Ami: Hai.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: We have an abiding interest in ants, do we?
Ami: No, it's just carrying something on its back.
Makoto: What?
Ami: Looks like a breadcrumb.
Dir: Pause.
Ami: Amazing, isn't it, how they carry many times their own
bodyweight?
Makoto: Yes, it is amazing.
Ami: Yes, very amazing.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: She's late, you know.
Ami: Yes, very late.
Makoto: Very, very late.
Ami: Yes, very very late.
Dir: Long pause.
Makoto: Maybe she's been distracted.
Ami: Yes, that might be a possibility.
Makoto: After all, this is Minako-chan.
Ami: Yes, yes, this is Minako-chan.
Makoto: She's easy to distract.
Ami: Yes, easy to distract.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: You don't think she could have forgotten?
Ami: That is a possibility.
Makoto: After all, this is Minako-chan we're talking about.
Ami: Yes, yes, this is Minako-chan we're talking about.
Makoto: She could have let all the arrangements slip from her
mind.
Ami: Yes, clean out of her head.
Makoto: She's known for this, of course.
Ami: Yes, she's known for it.
Dir: Long pause.
Makoto: Yes, she forgot we were going shopping last week.
Ami: Yes, she forgot.
Makoto: Clean forgot.
Ami: Yes, it just went clean out of her head.
Makoto: Was distracted by her mother.
Ami: Had to do an errand, I seem to remember.
Makoto: Yes, that was it. An errand.
Ami: Yes, an errand.
Makoto: Did the errand, and in the meantime forgot.
Ami: Yes, she forgot.
Dir: Pause.
Ami: But she still remembered what she was supposed to do
during the errand.
Makoto: Yes, she remembered.
Ami: She could have remembered about the shopping.
Makoto: Yes, she could have remembered.
Ami: She SHOULD have remembered.
Makoto: Yes, she SHOULD have remembered.
Ami: So why didn't she?
Makoto: I don't know.
Ami: Ho hum.
Dir: Long pause.
Ami: What are you looking at?
Makoto: Hmm?
Ami: What are you looking at? You're staring into the air.
Makoto: Oh, there is a bee sitting on that flower, over there.
Ami: Is there?
Makoto: Yes, look.
Dir: Pause.
Ami: So there is.
Makoto: Bees never forget what they have to do.
Ami: No, they don't.
Makoto: They just work and work and work and produce honey and
look after the Queen bee and the baby bees and all....
Ami: Yes, they never forget that they are bees.
Makoto: Yes, they never forget.
Ami: Yes.
Dir: Long pause.
Makoto: She's late, you know.
Ami: Yes, very late.
Makoto: Very, very late.
Ami: Yes, very very late.
Dir: Long pause.
Makoto: You know, maybe she really DID forget to meet us here.
Ami: Yes, probably.
Makoto: After all, this is Minako we're talking about, here.
Ami: Yes. Yes. It is.
Makoto: I mean, she's probably ditzing around her house,
wondering if there was something she forgot to do.
Ami: Oh, definately, definately.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: I mean, it's not as if it would be the first time.
Ami: Yes, yes. She's done it before.
Makoto: Ignore all her responsibilities....
Ami: And her arrangements.
Makoto: The girl is just, like, incorrigible.
Ami: Inept.
Makoto: Incompetent.
Ami: Moronic.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: I think that's taking it a little too far.
Ami: Yes. Yes, it is.
Makoto: I mean, she's not really that bad, is she?
Ami: No. Nowhere near that bad.
Makoto: I mean, just because she has regular ditz sessions....
Ami: Everyones' allowed to have their odd moments.
Makoto: Their foibles and such.
Ami: Indeed. Indeed.
Dir: Long pause. The sound of a jet flying over.
Makoto: What are you looking at, now?
Ami: Hmm?
Makoto: What are you looking at? You're staring into space.
Ami: Just looking at the plane up there.
Makoto: Plane?
Ami: Yes, that one.
Makoto: I hate planes.
Ami: Oops, forgot about that.
Makoto: I really hate planes.
Ami: I'm sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned it.
Makoto: Mama and Papa died in a plane.
Ami: Forget I even mentioned it, okay?
Makoto: Came crashing to earth....
Ami: Technically speaking, though, it is a jet.
Makoto: The effect that had on me....
Ami: Yes, a Boeing, i think it is.
Makoto: All that pain I had to endure.
Ami: Boeing 737. Or an Airbus A300.... One of the two.
Makoto: All because of bloody planes.
Ami: Yes, a bitch, isn't it?
Dir: Pause. There is a loud explosion in the background, plus a
few distant cries of terror.
Ami: The plane....
Makoto: What about it?
Ami: It's exploded.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: So it has.
Ami: Port engine just went "kaboom".
Makoto: Fire and smoke everywhere.
Ami: It's spinning to the ground.
Makoto: Lots of people will die....
Ami: Oh well. Not much we can do about it.
Dir: Pause. Sound of plane plummeting to the ground in the b/g.
Makoto: Yeah, you're right.
Dir: Explosion as plane hits the ground.
Ami: Ouch.
Makoto: Jeez.
Ami: That was a big explosion.
Makoto: Yeah, I could feel it from here.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: Is aircraft fuel always that explosive?
Ami: Mostly.
Makoto: I see.
Ami: Indeed.
Makoto: Yes.
Ami: Hmm....
Dir: Long pause. The sound of sirens and screams in the b/g.
Makoto: She's late, you know.
Ami: Yes, very late.
Makoto: Very, very late.
Ami: Yes, very very late.
Makoto: Yes, very very late.
Ami: Yes, she is, isn't she?
Makoto: Oh, I wholeheartedly agree.
Ami: I wonder where she's got to.
Makoto: Maybe she was where that plane came down.
Dir: Pause.
Ami: Nah, that's not possible. She lives nowhere near that
part of town.
Makoto: Yeah, you're right, as usual.
Dir: Pause.
Ami: What do you mean by "as usual".
Makoto: Hmm?
Ami: What do you mean by "as usual"?
Makoto: Mean? I meant you're always right about these things.
Ami: Are you saying I'm a smartarse?
Makoto: What makes you think that I think that!?!
Dir: Pause.
Ami: Sorry.
Makoto: I should think so, too.
Ami: I must be getting touchy.
Makoto: Yeah, all this waiting is beginning to get to me, too.
Dir: Long pause.
Ami: Maybe she's doing this, deliberately.
Makoto: Eh?
Ami: Maybe she made alternative arrangements with Usagi-chan
and Rei-chan.
Makoto: Now that's just being silly.
Ami: Are you calling me silly?
Makoto: Yes, I'm calling you silly. You're allowing your
imagination to run away with you.
Ami: I am not, and it is a genuine possibility.
Makoto: Well I say it's all in your head.
Ami: Tis not.
Makoto: Tis so.
Ami: Tis not.
Makoto: Tis so.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: Well, have you given up?
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: What ARE you staring at?
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: Ami?
Ami: There is someone rowing a boat down the street.
Makoto: Eh?
Ami: No kidding. There is someone rowing a boat down the
street.
Makoto: Now I know you're letting your imagination run away with
you.
Ami: Look for yourself.
Dir: Long pause.
Rower: (Quietly at first, getting louder as he goes past, then
quieting again as he disappears) Stroke. Stroke.
Stroke. Stroke. Stroke. Stroke....
Makoto: What do you know.... There IS someone rowing a boat
down the street.
Ami: On little wheels no less.
Makoto: What a novel way to get around.
Ami: If not a little silly.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: She's probably hiding around the corner, having a good
laugh at our expense.
Ami: Yes. yes, she probably is.
Makoto: That bloody cow! I bet she's just over there, behind
that row of bushes, chuckling away all to herself.
Ami: Yes.
Makoto: Some friend she is, doing this to us. Why I ought to
give her the pounding of her life.
Ami: Hmm.
Dir: Sound of turning pages.
Makoto: I'd like to see her get out of this one. She's probably
turn up with that sickening smile on her face, all
innocent. As if we didn't know what was going on.
Ami: Hmm.
Makoto: Well, she's got another think coming if she tries to
outwit Kino Makoto. Yessiree.
Ami: Yes.
Makoto: Hehehe. Just you wait, you blond ditz. These fists are
for you!
Ami: Hai.
Dir: Pause. Sound of turning pages continues.
Makoto: Don't just pull out a book like that and start reading
when I'm trying to talk to you.
Ami: Hmm.
Makoto: It's so rude.
Ami: Hai.
Makoto: Are you listening to me?
Ami: Hmm.
Makoto: You're not listening to me, are you?
Ami: Hmm.
Makoto: Hey Ami, wanna date with Umino?
Ami: Hai.
Makoto: Did you get to sleep with Urawa-san?
Ami: Hmm.
Makoto: Do you like swimming nude in chocolate custard?
Ami: Yes.
Makoto: Is Rei a self-obsessed pyromaniac?
Ami: Hmm.
Makoto: Does Minako give head to all the boys in the locker
room?
Ami: (Realising what Mako is saying) Hmm?
Makoto: I see you've finally woken up.
Ami: Does Minako do WHAT?
Makoto: Well, at least you can still be roused out of your
bookworm fugue, if nothing else.
Ami: Mako-chan, that's sick! How could you say such a
thing about Mina-chan?
Makoto: It's a good thing you didn't pay attention to all
the other things I said.
Ami: Like what?
Makoto: Forget it. It isn't important.
Ami: Mako-chan....
Makoto: What's your book about?
Ami: Hmm?
Makoto: What's your book about?
Ami: You mean this book?
Makoto: Yes, that book. Can you see any other books lying
about?
Ami: There's no need to be rude.
Makoto: Sorry.
Ami: If you're vaguely interested, it happens to be an
educational summary on the life cycle of the garden
snail.
Makoto: You're right, I was only vaguely interested.
Ami: To which I say it is extremely slow reading.
Dir: Long pause.
Makoto: You're pulling my leg, aren't you?
Dir: Long pause.
Ami: Yes.
Makoto: Why, you little....
Ami: Ah ah ah.... Settle down, now. Remember why we're here.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: To wait for Minako?
Ami: Good guess. Ten points for Mako-chan.
Makoto: She's really late, you know.
Ami: Hmm.
Makoto: Really, really late.
Ami: Hmm.
Makoto: Will you stop zoning off into your book and pay more
attention to me?
Ami: But I'm booooooored.
Makoto: I know. So am I.... But that's no excuse for ignoring
me when I'm trying to talk to you.
Ami: Un.
Makoto: Don't "un" me. It's totally out of character for Minako
to forget to go shopping. I mean, when was the last
time she did that?
Ami: Last week.
Makoto: No, you silly fool. I mean before that.
Ami: Two weeks ago.
Makoto: You know.... You're right. There is definitely a
pattern evolving here.
Ami: I think she's starting to lose it.
Makoto: "Starting to lose it? Starting to lose it?" What do
you mean she's "starting" to lose it? She's been losing
it from long before we first met her.
Ami: Considering we first met her in the Moon Kingdom, then
she should have reached the point of advanced dementia.
Makoto: Yeah. She was probably like that, then.
Ami: Definite necrosis of the neural tissue.
Makoto: Eh?
Ami: Her brain is starting to rot away. She'd be lucky to
still have a functioning cerebellum.
Makoto: What's a cerebellum?
Ami: Yes, the first bit to go would have been the frontal
lobe. That would have completely screwed up her
personality. Then all the other lobes of the cerebrum.
The occipital, the parietal, the temporal....
Makoto: Er....
Ami: Then there is the midbrain. I thought I saw cerebro-
spinal fluid running from her ears that day....
Makoto: Ano....
Ami: Although, I have to say, with her boy obsession, she's
still got her pituitary gland.
Makoto: shiddafugginjeezuzstoopidcowlizzentome....
Ami: Hmm.... Definitely signs of someone running on their
brainstem.
Makoto: I know how she feels right now.
Ami: Oh.... Am I confusing you?
Makoto: Oh, no no no no no.....
Ami: Hmm.... It would be nice to think you've managed to get
through all those years of schooling and have learnt
something.
Makoto: Are you calling me stupid?
Ami: No.
Makoto: Well that's alright, then.
Ami: Yes, you just keep thinking that.
Makoto: Did you say something?
Ami: No.
Makoto: Your nose is wiggling.
Ami: Hmm?
Makoto: Your nose is wiggling.
Ami: So?
Makoto: Every time you lie, your nose wiggles.
Dir: Pause.
Ami: (Cutely) Oh Mako-chan....
Makoto: What are you looking at me like that for?
Ami: It's soooo nice to know you know me that intimately.
Dir: Sound of struggle.
Makoto: Hey, wait a minute, stop that! Don't put your arms
around me.... Hey, stop.... I'm not into that kind
of thing....
Ami: Liar.... I know how you felt about Haruka.
Makoto: That was a momentary twinge on my part.
Ami: Oh Mako-chan.... You don't know how much I've been
dreaming about you....
Makoto: You're kidding!
Ami: Yes.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: You COW!
Dir: Sound of slapping.
Ami: Alright, alright, I'll let you go. No need to get
rough.
Makoto: Hmph!
Ami: Of course, you know Usagi and Rei are at it like
rabbits.
Makoto: In a pigs eye.
Ami: Or a Davies.
Makoto: Hmm?
Ami: Don't worry. You won't understand.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: I wonder where she's gotten to.
Ami: Probably sleeping with Artemis.
Makoto: AMI-CHAN!
Ami: Teehee....
Makoto: You know, you've gotten real ecchi in your old age.
Ami: I am NOT ecchi.... I just have my moments....
Makoto: Yeah, where you are a sick, perverted little creep.
Ami: That's not fair. You're as much a sick, perverted
little creep as I am.
Dir: Pause.
Makoto: Gee, you know, you're right.
Ami: Nice to see you're admitting to your faults for once.
Makoto: It doesn't change the fact that you go around dissing
others in a perverted manner.... Minako sleep with
Artemis? Oh puhleeeeeze....
Ami: Well, I'm bored.
Makoto: Well, so am I.... Minako is so damn late.
Ami: I wanna do something else, rather than just sit around
here and wait for the blond bubblehead to show up....
Makoto: Ami....
Ami: What?
Makoto: You called Minako a blond bubblehead....
Ami: So?
Makoto: You NEVER call anyone a bubblehead.
Ami: So? What's so special about that?
Makoto: It's SO out of character for you to do that.
Ami: You're right.... It must be my old age. How old are we
all supposed to be, now?
Makoto: Sixteen at last count.
Ami: Sixteen my ass.... Twenty would be more realistic an
age.
Makoto: Shhh.... Don't let anyone hear that.... You'll dispel
a well-worn myth....
Dir: Pause.
Ami: Argh! I can't stand this.... I want to be somewhere
else.
Makoto: Settle down.
Ami: No! I want a holiday from this, with all expenses paid!
Makoto: Don't be silly. We're supposed to be waiting for
Minako.
Ami: I noticed. I just have to mouth off my objections.
Makoto: I mean, it's not as if anyone is going to come along and
replace us for a while, or anything.
FX: Magical trill.
Michiru: You were saying?
Makoto: What the.... Where the hell did Ami go?
Michiru: I replaced her, my dear. She was exhibiting signs of
fanfic fatigue, and the writer decided it was time to
give her a holiday.
Makoto: What the hell.... I didn't know this was in our
contract!
Michiru: That's because you can't read, my dear.
Makoto: Oh yes.... I keep forgetting.
Michiru: Now then.... Where were we?
Makoto: We were waiting for Minako.
Michiru: Ah, now I remember. It says so in the title. Yes, very
well.... We shall wait for Minako with much passion.
Dir: Very long pause. A warped version of "Moonlight Densetsu" can
be heard in the b/g.
Michiru: Ack! That's it! I can't take this!
Makoto: What's wrong with you?
Michiru: How am I expected to wait for that blond-haired imbecile
with someone like you?
Makoto: What are you saying?
Michiru: You're too stupid, my dear, to engender any witty
repartee'. I'm afraid you're going to HAVE to be
replaced, too....
Makoto: Is that an insult?
Michiru: Yes.
Makoto: Why you....
FX: Magical trill.
Haruka: Ah, just in time, it seems.
Michiru: Haruka, my love.
Haruka: Michiru, my darling.
Michiru: Come to my arms.
Dir: Sounds of much divine passion, for as long as you like.
Michiru: This is, most certianly, a lot better.
Haruka: I could see things were not going well between you and
that lame-ass Jupiter. I just HAD to intervene.
Michiru: Yes, but now we face an even greater dilemma.
Haruka: What is that, my love?
Michiru: Why would a pair of suave and sophisticated
intelligentia, like ourselves, be waiting for an inbred
imbecile the likes of Venus?
Haruka: Why, you have a point there.
Michiru: I do declare, that we replace this wait for Venus with a
person of greater standing.
Haruka: How about Setsuna.... She is much more worthy to wait
for.
Michiru: Indeed. We shall wait for Setsuna.
Dir: Pause.
Haruka: She's late.
Michiru: Yes, she's late.
Haruka: Very very late.
Michiru: Yes, she's very very late.
FX: Everything goes silent.
EvilMkna: (Echo) So.... My plan is going to plan. I mean my plan
is going as I expected. I mean.... My plan is
progressing well. Better than expected. Now, all I
have to remember is.... What the hell IS my plan? I
know I had one here, somewhere.... Here planny planny
planny.... Here boy....
Announcer: Who is the evil person with the echoing voice? What has
really happened to Ami and Makoto. Are Haruka and
Michiru waiting for Setsuna? What caused the plane to
crash? Was there really a man rowing a boat with wheels
down the street? For no answers to these questions,
stay tuned for the next exciting episode of WAITING FOR
MINAKO by Dark Day For Anime. out now on VHS, SVHS, LD,
CDV, VCD and DVD in no good retail stores.
END OF EPISODE 01
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