Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters that are in this fan fiction other than the ones that I made up so if you try to use any of my characters without my permission, I will bash your head into your torso so far you will have to drop your pants to say hello…
------------------------------
*WARNING* this will become a lemon… but it isn't now…
Note: |…| means thought
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Zapf: Hello and welcome to the first ever Bishoujo fan fiction starring Zapf the greatest Bishoujo trainer in the known universe!!! *gives trademark thumbs up thingy*
Haruko: what are you doing?
Zapf: Just doing the intro to my first fan fic
Haruko: no that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the thumb thing.
Zapf: oh, that, that's my trademark thumbs up thingy.
Haruko: when did you get it trademarked?
Zapf: never mind that…on with the fic!!
------------------------------
Episode 1: Zapf's Journey… well at least the beginning
Zapf walked down the street kicking some rocks into the forest on either side of the dirt path. He really didn't want to run out early in the morning without his parent's permission. (Zapf isn't really a morning person) "I left a note though" Zapf thought as he kicked another rock.
He thought back to the day he decided to become a Bishoujo trainer. It was about a year ago. It was a little over a month before his birthday. He had seen a documentary about bishoujo training. "I've made up my mind, I becoming a bishoujo trainer!" Zapf announced to his parents.
"Absolutely not!!" his parents said simultaneously. "It's way too dangerous" his mother said. "And we just don't like it" his father added. "We didn't like it when your brother just ran off either." His mother commented "So we don't want to hear another word about it" Zapf sulked off to his room.
When his birthday came around his uncle gave Zapf a Bishoujo-dex watch. It works like a regular bishou-dex but can be worn like. His parents got angry at Zapf's uncle for giving him hope for something that would never happen. But to Zapf it was like signing a contract. He promised himself then that he would leave to become a bishoujo trainer within the year. So he secretly bought some Bishou-balls, saved money and put it all, including the bishou-dex in a compartment under a loose floorboard in his room. All year he planned his escape until finally, one day, he got up really early, gathered up supplies, (including tons of okonomyaki) left a note for his parents to see and left via the forest road.
Zapf looked up at the sky, and then, at his watch. "Time for lunch…" As he pulled the bunch of okonomyaki boxes that he packed that morning he remembered the conversation he had with his best friend Krissy Maxwell, the other day...
He had been trying to call her for more than an hour, but he didn't care, he was used to it, and anyways he liked to get angry at her for it. Finally he got through to her.
"Moshi, Moshi" the familiar genki voice came from the other end of the phone. "
"Krissy Maxwell, I've been calling you for an hour already. Where have you been?!?" even though he was slightly angry, he was still smiling. They had been friends since they were children growing up together.
"Hey Zapf!" she sounded more genki than usual today. Zapf remembered that she was planning on becoming a Bishonen trainer today. "I'm sorry, I was in the shower and I guess I didn't hear my phone ring"
"That's okay, so today's the day you become a bishonen trainer, huh?"
"Yup! I'm so exited!" Zapf heard noises in the background. "Ah here it is" Krissy wasn't speaking into the phone at this point and Zapf was pretty sure she was doing something else.
"What are you doing?" Zapf asked already knowing the answer.
"What… you think I'm gonna go out there without the proper trainers outfit?" she answered as if Zapf should know this.
| Of course, clothes… there are only three things on her mind ever, clothes, food, and bishonen. | "Nevermind" Zapf really didn't feel like talking about that anyways. He called her for a reason other than just to chat. "Hey Krissy? I gotta ask you a question."
"Hai" she answered "Now which shorts should I wear?" Zapf knew he was already losing her attention.
"Krissy…" Zapf knew this was going to happen. She never really pays attention to him, but she was a good friend, and it wasn't her fault, anyways.
"Maybe I should wear the purple ones; they match perfectly… now where did I put those darn boots? ... nope not there"
Zapf was really starting to get annoyed. He really wanted to talk to her. "KRISSY! Would you listen to me?"
"Hold on Zapf" she still wasn't listening that attentively. Zapf heard the phone drop. "Found them."
Zapf was about to hang up when she picked up the phone and said "sorry about that… what were you saying?"
| Finally | "Krissy, my folks wont let me become a bishoujo trainer, I dunno… something about it being too dangerous or whatever. But I gotta do this, Krissy." He paused for a second. "I thought about it and I think I'm going to sneak out without my parents knowing. Am I crazy?"
Zapf was expecting a 'Yes, that's what I've been telling you for years.' But instead he got a "No Zapf. It's your life; you should be able to do what you want."
"I know! So that's the plan… I just hope I'm gonna have enough okonomyaki" he told her.
"Zapf…no baka." Krissy giggled.
That's why they were friends; they could joke around so casually. "Yeah. Well, I better start packing. Take care of yourself, Krissy."
"Hai. The same goes for you, ok?"
"Yup. Ok…Well, goodbye."
"Bye Zapf." He hung up smiling
Zapf thought back to what she said. 'You should be able to do what you want' | She's right | Zapf thought. | There's no reason why I shouldn't be a bishoujo trainer, I mean… it's not like it's really dangerous like my parents said…|
All of a sudden he heard a noise down the path. He spun to see what it was, but all he could see was a cloud of dust heading straight for him at an alarmingly increasing speed. He tried with all of his might to see what it was that was going that fast.
A few seconds later, he saw that the dust cloud was, in fact, a woman on a yellow Vespa. She had fire orange short-cut hair under a dark red baseball cap. She also had an electric guitar strapped over her back. As she got closer, she reached behind her and pulled a ripcord, apparently attached to the guitar. She then proceeded to grab the guitar by the neck and raise it over her head like an axe.
Zapf felt like a deer in headlights, he was scared out of his mind, but he couldn't move, he just stared at her. As the moped got even closer, the front wheel started to slip. The red head girl tried to regain control, but she only made it worse. The yellow vespa, swerving back and forth, still heading down the path towards Zapf at an incredible speed. That's when Zapf realized that he had to move. He turned around to see a very large tree blocking his way, and then everything went black.
[Intermission: Haruko drives across path, hits Zapf and drives on smiling]
When Zapf came to, the first thing he noticed was that he heard maniacal laughter. After he took his head out of the tree, he looked over to see the red haired girl rolling on the ground laughing, saying something about killing him in a ta-kun manner.
Zapf then realized that this wasn't just some crazy girl, but rather a bishoujo. He rolled down his sleeve and pointed his bishou-dex watch at her.
It responded "Haruko Haruhara: suspected alien bishoujo. Drives around on a yellow Vespa moped, tends to lose control of it and hit people."
| I've heard of her! I heard she's very rare! I can't believe that I have a chance to catch her this early on. I mean, it's only my first day as a bishoujo trainer. I, uh… guess I can catch her now, right? | He reached into his pocket and spun around in a cool sequence with awesome backgrounds and great music. He got into position and threw… nothing.
Zapf facefell. "I can't believe I left my bishie balls at home!! Even if I miss the chance to catch her I need to get some" Zapf thought for a second about taking the moped, but supposed it was probably broken, so he walked down the path towards the nearest town which was a good mile and a half away. "I'm kinda pissed that I couldn't catch her, she's really cool, and that moped could really come in handy. Awwww…. I really liked her even if she _did_ hit me and almost kill me, I mean… she was really cute…."
Zapf continued to mope about her until he got to the town, where he stopped for dinner at the local akabeco, and then he headed for the general store (as he walked in someone walked out muttering something like 'Ranma, I'll get you…')
Zapf walked down one of the aisles of the store, and picked up a handful of bishou-balls. When he got to the front of the store, he saw the object of his dreams, perfect sunglasses. They were perfectly rounded, perfectly tinted, and just overall really awesome.
Zapf walked up to the front desk with a gaped mouth.
"What do you want, kid?" the man behind the counter asked him.
Zapf merely stood there, openmouthed, staring at the sunglasses. "It's the sunglasses again, right? It's always the sunglasses with you young trainers." Zapf nodded "okay" the shopkeeper took a small case from underneath the desk and handed it to Zapf. "That'll be 29.99"
Zapf took the case, took out some crumpled bills out his pocket, and started to walk out.
"Umm… sir" the shopkeeper said as Zapf was about as Zapf was about to leave, "what about those bishoujo balls?" Zapf sweatdropped, walked back to the counter, gave the man some more money and walked out.
After a quick stop at to replenish his okonomyaki reserves, he started back to where he left the laughing bishoujo. He really didn't think that she would still be there, but he went anyways. | Maybe she left the moped… that would be useful
+=+=+=LATER=+=+=+
When he got closer to the site of the crash, he began to hear a vaguely familiar noise. As he got closer, he saw its source. As he guessed, Haruko was still rolling on the ground laughing her head off.
"I can't believe that she is still here! I have to have been gone for at least a half an hour! How could she find my pain and suffering so god damn funny?!?" Zapf shrugged and walked towards her. She was completely oblivious to the fact that Zapf was leering over her. He reached his shopping bag (which was bright blue with a dog on it that said "DOMO!!") and pulled out a bishoujo ball. He then spun around in a cool sequence with awesome backgrounds and cool music. When he was done with that, he threw the bishou-ball at Haruko. She rolled over at that moment and the bishou-ball fell on the ground and became useless.
He couldn't get to stay still, so he eventually took the first thing he could find and hit her on the head with it. He looked at what was in his hands - an empty okonomyaki box. He looked at Haruko, she was out cold. He felt that when he knocked her out it took all the fun out of catching bishoujo, so he dropped a bishou-ball on her head, it flashed and she disappeared in a white blur.
"Well… that was kind of anti-climactic… but anyways…. I caught my first Bishoujo!!!" Zapf gave his trademark thumbs up thingy.
Zapf threw his very first filled bishoujo ball on the ground and Haruko popped out. She was wearing a very tight nurse's uniform, and was leaning on her moped in a very seductive way.
"Where did you get that uniform?" Zapf asked with his mouth gaped open.
"Never mind that... What are we gonna do now?"
"Well… we should probably find a place to sleep. There's probably a hotel in that town down the street.
"Just hop onto the Vespa, we'll get there faster.
They both jumped onto the moped and drove off into the sunset….. "Um…. Zapf… could you keep your hands to yourself... onegai?"
"Uh…Hai, Hai"
----------------------
Haruko: so you finally caught you're first bishoujo…
Zapf: what do you mean finally? I caught you on the first day!!
Haruko: meh… I still think you could have done better that that… I mean that was pathetic.
Zapf: Haruko… can you please be nice to me for once?
Haruko thinks for a minute, smiles and shakes her head.
Zapf: baka
Note: Vespa is a trademark (not like my trademark thumbs up thingy) of Vespa Co.
------------------------------
*WARNING* this will become a lemon… but it isn't now…
Note: |…| means thought
-----------------------------
Zapf: Hello and welcome to the first ever Bishoujo fan fiction starring Zapf the greatest Bishoujo trainer in the known universe!!! *gives trademark thumbs up thingy*
Haruko: what are you doing?
Zapf: Just doing the intro to my first fan fic
Haruko: no that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the thumb thing.
Zapf: oh, that, that's my trademark thumbs up thingy.
Haruko: when did you get it trademarked?
Zapf: never mind that…on with the fic!!
------------------------------
Episode 1: Zapf's Journey… well at least the beginning
Zapf walked down the street kicking some rocks into the forest on either side of the dirt path. He really didn't want to run out early in the morning without his parent's permission. (Zapf isn't really a morning person) "I left a note though" Zapf thought as he kicked another rock.
He thought back to the day he decided to become a Bishoujo trainer. It was about a year ago. It was a little over a month before his birthday. He had seen a documentary about bishoujo training. "I've made up my mind, I becoming a bishoujo trainer!" Zapf announced to his parents.
"Absolutely not!!" his parents said simultaneously. "It's way too dangerous" his mother said. "And we just don't like it" his father added. "We didn't like it when your brother just ran off either." His mother commented "So we don't want to hear another word about it" Zapf sulked off to his room.
When his birthday came around his uncle gave Zapf a Bishoujo-dex watch. It works like a regular bishou-dex but can be worn like. His parents got angry at Zapf's uncle for giving him hope for something that would never happen. But to Zapf it was like signing a contract. He promised himself then that he would leave to become a bishoujo trainer within the year. So he secretly bought some Bishou-balls, saved money and put it all, including the bishou-dex in a compartment under a loose floorboard in his room. All year he planned his escape until finally, one day, he got up really early, gathered up supplies, (including tons of okonomyaki) left a note for his parents to see and left via the forest road.
Zapf looked up at the sky, and then, at his watch. "Time for lunch…" As he pulled the bunch of okonomyaki boxes that he packed that morning he remembered the conversation he had with his best friend Krissy Maxwell, the other day...
He had been trying to call her for more than an hour, but he didn't care, he was used to it, and anyways he liked to get angry at her for it. Finally he got through to her.
"Moshi, Moshi" the familiar genki voice came from the other end of the phone. "
"Krissy Maxwell, I've been calling you for an hour already. Where have you been?!?" even though he was slightly angry, he was still smiling. They had been friends since they were children growing up together.
"Hey Zapf!" she sounded more genki than usual today. Zapf remembered that she was planning on becoming a Bishonen trainer today. "I'm sorry, I was in the shower and I guess I didn't hear my phone ring"
"That's okay, so today's the day you become a bishonen trainer, huh?"
"Yup! I'm so exited!" Zapf heard noises in the background. "Ah here it is" Krissy wasn't speaking into the phone at this point and Zapf was pretty sure she was doing something else.
"What are you doing?" Zapf asked already knowing the answer.
"What… you think I'm gonna go out there without the proper trainers outfit?" she answered as if Zapf should know this.
| Of course, clothes… there are only three things on her mind ever, clothes, food, and bishonen. | "Nevermind" Zapf really didn't feel like talking about that anyways. He called her for a reason other than just to chat. "Hey Krissy? I gotta ask you a question."
"Hai" she answered "Now which shorts should I wear?" Zapf knew he was already losing her attention.
"Krissy…" Zapf knew this was going to happen. She never really pays attention to him, but she was a good friend, and it wasn't her fault, anyways.
"Maybe I should wear the purple ones; they match perfectly… now where did I put those darn boots? ... nope not there"
Zapf was really starting to get annoyed. He really wanted to talk to her. "KRISSY! Would you listen to me?"
"Hold on Zapf" she still wasn't listening that attentively. Zapf heard the phone drop. "Found them."
Zapf was about to hang up when she picked up the phone and said "sorry about that… what were you saying?"
| Finally | "Krissy, my folks wont let me become a bishoujo trainer, I dunno… something about it being too dangerous or whatever. But I gotta do this, Krissy." He paused for a second. "I thought about it and I think I'm going to sneak out without my parents knowing. Am I crazy?"
Zapf was expecting a 'Yes, that's what I've been telling you for years.' But instead he got a "No Zapf. It's your life; you should be able to do what you want."
"I know! So that's the plan… I just hope I'm gonna have enough okonomyaki" he told her.
"Zapf…no baka." Krissy giggled.
That's why they were friends; they could joke around so casually. "Yeah. Well, I better start packing. Take care of yourself, Krissy."
"Hai. The same goes for you, ok?"
"Yup. Ok…Well, goodbye."
"Bye Zapf." He hung up smiling
Zapf thought back to what she said. 'You should be able to do what you want' | She's right | Zapf thought. | There's no reason why I shouldn't be a bishoujo trainer, I mean… it's not like it's really dangerous like my parents said…|
All of a sudden he heard a noise down the path. He spun to see what it was, but all he could see was a cloud of dust heading straight for him at an alarmingly increasing speed. He tried with all of his might to see what it was that was going that fast.
A few seconds later, he saw that the dust cloud was, in fact, a woman on a yellow Vespa. She had fire orange short-cut hair under a dark red baseball cap. She also had an electric guitar strapped over her back. As she got closer, she reached behind her and pulled a ripcord, apparently attached to the guitar. She then proceeded to grab the guitar by the neck and raise it over her head like an axe.
Zapf felt like a deer in headlights, he was scared out of his mind, but he couldn't move, he just stared at her. As the moped got even closer, the front wheel started to slip. The red head girl tried to regain control, but she only made it worse. The yellow vespa, swerving back and forth, still heading down the path towards Zapf at an incredible speed. That's when Zapf realized that he had to move. He turned around to see a very large tree blocking his way, and then everything went black.
[Intermission: Haruko drives across path, hits Zapf and drives on smiling]
When Zapf came to, the first thing he noticed was that he heard maniacal laughter. After he took his head out of the tree, he looked over to see the red haired girl rolling on the ground laughing, saying something about killing him in a ta-kun manner.
Zapf then realized that this wasn't just some crazy girl, but rather a bishoujo. He rolled down his sleeve and pointed his bishou-dex watch at her.
It responded "Haruko Haruhara: suspected alien bishoujo. Drives around on a yellow Vespa moped, tends to lose control of it and hit people."
| I've heard of her! I heard she's very rare! I can't believe that I have a chance to catch her this early on. I mean, it's only my first day as a bishoujo trainer. I, uh… guess I can catch her now, right? | He reached into his pocket and spun around in a cool sequence with awesome backgrounds and great music. He got into position and threw… nothing.
Zapf facefell. "I can't believe I left my bishie balls at home!! Even if I miss the chance to catch her I need to get some" Zapf thought for a second about taking the moped, but supposed it was probably broken, so he walked down the path towards the nearest town which was a good mile and a half away. "I'm kinda pissed that I couldn't catch her, she's really cool, and that moped could really come in handy. Awwww…. I really liked her even if she _did_ hit me and almost kill me, I mean… she was really cute…."
Zapf continued to mope about her until he got to the town, where he stopped for dinner at the local akabeco, and then he headed for the general store (as he walked in someone walked out muttering something like 'Ranma, I'll get you…')
Zapf walked down one of the aisles of the store, and picked up a handful of bishou-balls. When he got to the front of the store, he saw the object of his dreams, perfect sunglasses. They were perfectly rounded, perfectly tinted, and just overall really awesome.
Zapf walked up to the front desk with a gaped mouth.
"What do you want, kid?" the man behind the counter asked him.
Zapf merely stood there, openmouthed, staring at the sunglasses. "It's the sunglasses again, right? It's always the sunglasses with you young trainers." Zapf nodded "okay" the shopkeeper took a small case from underneath the desk and handed it to Zapf. "That'll be 29.99"
Zapf took the case, took out some crumpled bills out his pocket, and started to walk out.
"Umm… sir" the shopkeeper said as Zapf was about as Zapf was about to leave, "what about those bishoujo balls?" Zapf sweatdropped, walked back to the counter, gave the man some more money and walked out.
After a quick stop at to replenish his okonomyaki reserves, he started back to where he left the laughing bishoujo. He really didn't think that she would still be there, but he went anyways. | Maybe she left the moped… that would be useful
+=+=+=LATER=+=+=+
When he got closer to the site of the crash, he began to hear a vaguely familiar noise. As he got closer, he saw its source. As he guessed, Haruko was still rolling on the ground laughing her head off.
"I can't believe that she is still here! I have to have been gone for at least a half an hour! How could she find my pain and suffering so god damn funny?!?" Zapf shrugged and walked towards her. She was completely oblivious to the fact that Zapf was leering over her. He reached his shopping bag (which was bright blue with a dog on it that said "DOMO!!") and pulled out a bishoujo ball. He then spun around in a cool sequence with awesome backgrounds and cool music. When he was done with that, he threw the bishou-ball at Haruko. She rolled over at that moment and the bishou-ball fell on the ground and became useless.
He couldn't get to stay still, so he eventually took the first thing he could find and hit her on the head with it. He looked at what was in his hands - an empty okonomyaki box. He looked at Haruko, she was out cold. He felt that when he knocked her out it took all the fun out of catching bishoujo, so he dropped a bishou-ball on her head, it flashed and she disappeared in a white blur.
"Well… that was kind of anti-climactic… but anyways…. I caught my first Bishoujo!!!" Zapf gave his trademark thumbs up thingy.
Zapf threw his very first filled bishoujo ball on the ground and Haruko popped out. She was wearing a very tight nurse's uniform, and was leaning on her moped in a very seductive way.
"Where did you get that uniform?" Zapf asked with his mouth gaped open.
"Never mind that... What are we gonna do now?"
"Well… we should probably find a place to sleep. There's probably a hotel in that town down the street.
"Just hop onto the Vespa, we'll get there faster.
They both jumped onto the moped and drove off into the sunset….. "Um…. Zapf… could you keep your hands to yourself... onegai?"
"Uh…Hai, Hai"
----------------------
Haruko: so you finally caught you're first bishoujo…
Zapf: what do you mean finally? I caught you on the first day!!
Haruko: meh… I still think you could have done better that that… I mean that was pathetic.
Zapf: Haruko… can you please be nice to me for once?
Haruko thinks for a minute, smiles and shakes her head.
Zapf: baka
Note: Vespa is a trademark (not like my trademark thumbs up thingy) of Vespa Co.