Flight Manual Woes
Set in Season One. AU after Helo and Boomer land on Caprica. One Shot. Helo's POV.
Prompt: "Helo get your flight manual and tear out the pages.'
Disclaimer: I don't own BSG or the characters. Although at times I wished I owned the plot line.
A/N. OK in my defence, I (being in Australia and owning the season 3 on DVD) have only just seen the first episode of said season and was horrified to learn that Lee had become fat. So to wash the image from my mind I watched the pilot or movie and decided to write a random oneshot on the line above. I couldn't resist. Don't like, Don't read.
"Helo, get your flight manual and tear out the pages," Sharon told me. I knew tearing out the entire page would spell trouble later on, so I just tore out the part with the page number on it. Some time after our escape from Caprica, I now have page numberless flight manual, which is currently NO USE. And of course, Sharon forgot her flight manual. Brilliant.
Let me explain our current predicament. Our raptor had broken down, in the middle of no where. And in space, it really is the middle of no where. So when we actually broke down, Sharon turns to me and does what you would normally do.
"Helo, can you look in your flight manual?"
My numberless Flight Manual. Groaning inwardly, I opened to the contents and saw :
How to fix your FTL Drive …………. Page 367
Page 367, Brilliant! I have to get to page 367 in a flight manual without page numbers. Urgh!
1
2
3
some time later
232
323 or was it 233.
Crap! Now I have to start all over again!
1
2
3
even more time later
235
236
237
238
Beep! Beep! Beep!
What the hell! Crap inbound Cylon fighters. Brillant!
"Uh, Sharon?" Quit looking into space and notice the frakking Cylon fighters headed straight for us!!!
…
Frak that was close.
"Helo, have you found the correct page yet?"
"No!" It was your brilliant idea to tear out all the page numbers. We wont need them will we? Of course not. Back to counting.
1
2
3
…
359
360
361
Bham! And I get thrown across the raptor. That's the 12th time! "Frakkin Cylons! Would you just shooting at us?"
"Maybe you should ask them," Sharon quipped.
FRAK. Didn't realise I said that out loud. Maybe I should have stayed on the planet.
"Oh yeah Sharon, I imagine that conversation would go brilliantly!"
'Raptor to Cylons kicking the crap out of us. Would you please stop shooting us so we can fix our ship and run away. '
Oh yeah, that'll work. NOT. Alright breathe Helo. Lets start again.
1
2
3
…
367.
Finally! Yay. Page 367: How to fix your FTL.
Twitch Twitch. I counted all 367 pages more than once for this helpful advice. 367!! Argh!
"Helo?"
Crap, Sharon must have caught me hitting my head on the consul. Galactica here we come. Oi!
Flight Manual
Page 367 :How to fix FTL drive.
Make sure you have hit the yellow jump button.
(idiot)
A/N. Unbeta'd. Pure Randomness. Hope you enjoyed and Merry Christmas!
Laurs