Monica Jenkins stared out of her kitchen window, into the tiny backyard that was getting flooded by torrential rain. What on earth was the point of moving to Australia if the weather was as bad as it was back in England?
Monica sighed, she had been living in the country of her dreams, Australia, for the past year, but it hadn't been as pleasant as she'd thought it would be. Apart from the often miserable weather, which she hadn't been expecting, Australia had brought on a whole lot of trials.
Monica set the kettle to boil and then went back to staring out the window. She felt very much like she had when she was a little girl and she'd sit watching the rain. She'd been helpless then and she felt helpless now.
She'd had another nightmare last night, another one of her dreams with shadows flickering just beyond the edge of her reach. She had awoken screaming for the thousandth time that year, not knowing what it was she screamed for. The details of the dream always seemed to escape her.
Monica's hands went about making her morning cocoa, while her mind switched off, she could have made the cocoa in her sleep that's how familiar the process was for her. Once she was done she sat down at the small kitchen table and began to sip the hot drink, as she did so she caught a glimpse of her bushy hair in one of the various mirrored surfaces of the kitchen. For some odd reason it reminded her of something, of someone.
Monica swept her hair back, straining her mind as she tried to work out who it was. For a second she saw a shadow appear in her memory, but it vanished as quickly as it had appeared. Who was that? And why couldn't she remember them anymore?
Monica had the uneasy feeling that she had forgotten something important, and she would only remember it when it was too late. It wasn't the first time that she'd had this feeling, it had plagued her since just before they'd moved to Australia, which, co-incidentally was when her night terrors had begun too.
She had tried to explain this to Wendell, but the man really seemed more muddled than she was. He said the strangest things sometimes, like he'd thought they'd had a daughter and he'd accidentally referred to himself as 'Bill' once. Monica had not bought his excuse about just being confused, Wendell and Bill were about as far apart as you could get. How he had managed to get them confused she didn't know.
Yet despite these slips, Bill seemed happy enough. He didn't have nightmares and he didn't have nagging shadows dancing on the edges of his mind. Or at least that's what he told her when she asked. Monica was the only one who was going through that.
Monica cradled the cocoa cup in her hands, she hadn't been drinking for a while now, absorbed in her thoughts, but now she took long draughts of the burning liquid. It was as though she thought that she could burn out all of the anguish that had slowly built up inside her. It didn't work.
Monica set down the empty cocoa cup and sighed heavily. What was wrong with her? Here she was, in sunny Queensland Australia, living her dream. She was living her dream, but all she could think about were the shadows that chased around in her mind. She didn't know who they were, but she knew that they were important.
Slowly she got up and went to the full length mirror, in her and Wendell's bedroom. Her had awoken something in her mind, maybe if she looked at herself for long enough she would remember? Because Monica knew that she had definitely forgotten something.
She looked her reflection up and down, and there she was, long bushy hair and piercing brown eyes. She smiled at herself, and she saw the flash of brilliant, white, perfectly straight teeth. Monica shook her head, why had she thought, just for an instant that she was a dentist?
Still shaking her head she went back to examining her reflection. Yes, she thought, she definitely did remind herself of someone, but who? Her mother? Monica could not even remember her mother anymore. She couldn't remember anything about her life, except for her and Wendell and her need to live in Australia.
Monica could somehow feel the absence of all the joyous memories that she knew should have filled her mind. She sank to the floor quietly sobbing, there was nothing left anymore, just shadows chasing around and around in what had once been her memory.
As she sank down, her eyes happened to glance out the window and in that instant she was sure she had seen someone there. Someone with bushy hair, just like hers.