Blue like the sea. That is how people describe your daughter's eyes. You remember seeing pictures of the sea in earth skills books, long ago. You smile and thank them. This is a compliment.
You don't say what you think, that your daughter's eyes are the sea during a storm, crashing waves and deadly and oh, so beautiful but terrifying to experience.
…
You are 45 years old when you die. The last thing you see are the white walls of the airlock chamber. The last thing you hear is your daughter screaming. Your last thought is of your daughter, of her future. Then a rush of wind, the burning cold of space.
Then nothing.
…
Heaven is not warm. Heaven is not cold either. It is simply there. You see all the faces of the people you knew. Friends, strangers, family. More people than you could have imagined. And strange people, with tattoos covering their bodies, people who speak of earth and Heda, and you think…
Maybe we were never alone.
…
A man with eyes like the green sea glass you saw in your daughter's earth skills book tells you about his own daughter, who was had only seen six summers when he was killed in battle. He tells you of her blood like the night, and how she is destined for greatness. He says he hopes your own daughter will find greatness too.
You do not know how time has passed when the first person comes. A boy of seventeen, walks up and shakes your hands.
"Your daughter," he says, "she freed me. Thank you."
And then he is gone.
And then you see Wells. Out of place, so young, in this room of weathered soldiers and grown people.
"We were sent to earth," he says, eyes still wild with the memory of the forest, "And it was beautiful."
You want to ask about you daughter, but the words are caught in your throat.
…
More and more people are coming now, shaking your hand, telling you of all your daughter has done. You can't help but wonder, is she not still seventeen, eighteen? Too young to be connected to the fate of all these people.
Three hundred people have arrived the next time you look up.
…
The next person you meet is a girl with cheekbones sharper than razors. She eyes you suspiciously, then moves forward.
"Your daughter is brave, and strong. She has survived many things, she will survive many more." she says. She looks like she want to continue, then a girl with long brown hair rushes over and she moves to embrace her. Then she is gone.
…
Days, weeks, months later, Finn arrives.
You knew Finn. Your daughter had never met him, but you knew him as a quiet boy on the lower decks. He approaches you, looking almost guilty in his early demise. There is a thin slice in his shirt, a sign of the reason for the end of his life. He looks up at you with sorrowful eyes.
"Your daughter, she uh, she saved me. Thank you, sir." He reaches out his hand for you to shake. You take it, not quite understanding the tears in his eyes.
The stream of people seems to never stop. They come from all sides, most are grounders, you find out, people your people have been at odds with. Yet, most still have kinds words for your daughter. You can't help but wonder the life she is leading on earth. She was never one to it out of a fight, and you can only hope that she is choosing her battles wisely.
You know she will.
You are pulled out of a daze by the arrival of nearly four hundred people. Only one approaches you.
"My name is Maya," she says, looking up through teary eyes, "And your daughter did right by me." There are scars fading on Maya's face, like nothing you've seen before. A minute later, all of them have disappeared.
"What did she do?" You choke on the words.
"What she had to. To save her people."
You don't know to respond to that. You nod, and Maya turns away.
You look around the room. You think of the first boy, of all the grounders. Of Finn. You wonder how many of them are here because of her. A little voice in the back of your head debates whether or not you should be proud or worried.
…
You see the man with the sea glass eyes again. He is not speaking to you though. He is running through the crowds of people screaming someone's name. Following him is the girl with the sharp cheekbones, the girl with long brown hair, and a man with a face tattoo who once stared you down for several minutes then left.
They are running to embrace a girl, not much older than your daughter, you think, and a weight sinks deep down in your stomach. You hear the girl crying and laughing at the same time, embracing the people around her.
You realize this is one of the first displays of affection you have seen here.
You look up to see her approaching you. Her eyes are the same sea glass green as the man's. This is his daughter then, the one destined for greatness, dead at not even twenty-five.
"Anya tells me you are the one to thank," and her voice is steadier than you expected.
You stand, and she holds out her hand.
"I am Lexa. This is Anya, Costia and Gustus, and my father."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Lexa. I wish the circumstances were different."
Lexa's eyes fill with tears. She nods, then turns away, Anya's arm around her shoulders.
The next time you see Lexa, she is surrounded by children. Dead children, you think, but none are crying, and neither is Lexa. Instead, she is congratulating them on their bravery.
She sees you staring, and rises.
She sits across the table from you.
"I was commander of the twelve clans," she starts.
"But you're just a child." You say
She smiles.
"I trained the natblidas to be my successors."
"Natblidas?"
"The children with black blood. My best one Aden, has taken my place. You were wondering why the children are not upset."
"I was made commander when I had only seen twelve summers. I was trained since I had two. It is all I have known." She explains.
"You were born to fight and die."
"Is that not what we are all born to do?" She answers looking around.
"You died young," you say.
"I did. But dying for love, now that is honorable."
"Is it?"
"My teacher said love was weakness. I believe he was wrong. I taught the natblidas that love was a strength."
"What happened to him?"
"He is why I am here," she says, and her jaw twitches. She excuses herself and walks back to the children, leading them away.
…
Long after, Marcus Kane arrived. You remember him from the council that sentenced you, but still, you rise with an easy grace and shake his hand firmly.
"Your daughter, god, she is incredible. She survived so much, you should be so proud of her." Marcus talks like he truly means what he says, and you can't help but smile.
"She's okay then, she's doing well?" You don't usually ask about her, but Kane seems to have good news.
"Some days are harder than others," Marcus says, sitting across from you, "But she's always been a fighter."
…
Lexa walks to Marcus like they're old friends.
"Marcus Kane," she says with a smile, "It's been a long time."
He rises and hugs her, almost cautiously, but she accepts it happily.
"It's very good to see you, Commander."
"Please, it's just Lexa now."
"Lexa it is."
"And…" Lexa trails off, looking down at her feet. When she looks back up, you are surprised to find her eyes filled with tears. Kane doesn't seem affected though, as he places a comforting hand on Lexa's shoulder.
"Some days are harder than others," he repeats, and she nods before walking away.
The weight in your stomach returns.
…
You spend more and more time with Lexa. She is easy to talk to, and tells you about the grounders and customs that you had missed and that no one else seemed to be willing to share. Sometimes Anya and Costia join her, and you can't help but squint and try to imagine this laughing girl commanding armies and sentencing people to death.
You try to see her as a soldier, but the image in your mind always changes into the face of your own daughter on the battlefield.
You play chess with Lexa, a game you had taught your own daughter. When you mention this to her, though, something inside her shuts down. She allows you to capture her king, gets up, and doesn't return for a long time.
She does return, eventually.
You are sitting with Lexa when Abby return to you.
…
Abby arrives a while after Kane. She arrives in a whirlwind of color and sound, the way she did into your life when you were fifteen years old. You catch in your arms mid-sprint, and she's crying apologies into your shoulder.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have never-"You cut her off with a kiss, wrapping your arms around her small frame.
"It's okay. I forgave you a long time ago."
You stand there holding her, for what seems like forever. You could stay there forever, until a small voice interrupts your thoughts.
"Abby?" You both turn to see Lexa, looking smaller than ever, staring at Abby with tears already falling down her cheeks. Abby sweeps by you wrapping her arms around Lexa, whispering words into her ear. Lexa quiet cries are heard by Anya and the other girl, Costia, and they comes to stand beside Abby and Lexa.
"It's okay," Abby whispers as Lexa leans back and wipes the tears from her eyes. She shakes her head.
"It is," Abby affirms. "It was hard in the beginning, but it got better. She never forgot, but she did get better." Lexa is nodding now tears cleared from her face. Abby wraps her arms tight around Lexa and can't quite meet your eyes.
The weight in your stomach feels heavy, and you don't understand why.
…
Time passes quickly with Abby by your side, it always has. In life you remember on minute being twenty and in love and the next being thirty and holding your daughter in your arms.
More people start arriving that you recognize, people closer to your daughter's age than your own, and you know it won't be long.
…
The noise in Heaven is equal to a quiet buzz, the conversations of people being passed back and forth. The noise has faded into the background, which is why it takes you a moment to notice that all of it has ceased.
And then you see her. Standing in the doorway, looking not much older than she did when you were still alive. But now battle worn, no longer a child. She staring right at you. You stare back, and she starts to run. She launches herself into your arms, half laughing, and half crying.
"I am so, so proud of you," you say into her hair, and she hugs you tighter. Abby comes around and places a hand on her hair, smiling up at you.
You lower her to the ground, look past her to meet green eyes.
"Clarke," Abby says, placing a hand on her cheek, and looking behind her.
Clarke turns, and lets out a sob as her knees give out.
But Lexa is faster. Catching her, they fall to the floor as one, clutching on to each other. You hear your daughter speaking unintelligible things through her sobs. Lexa buries her face in your daughter's hair. And then Clarke places her hands on Lexa's cheeks and kisses her.
You look away, down to Abby, who only smiles and takes your hand.
Both of them are still crying, kissing, uncaring whether or not the rest of the people are looking on. They are, your daughter's friends and Lexa's people but none are upset. Most are smiling. A girl with caramel skin and dark hair lets out whistle, causing them to break apart and laugh, before falling silent in each other's arms, content in their togetherness.
Abby squeezes your hand.
The weight in your stomach disappears.
…
Later, the man with sea glass eyes sits across from you. Your daughters are curled up together in a corner, smiling and whispering and sharing kisses, surrounded by their friends who are talking and laughing so loudly, and you don't even mind because the happiness here now is more than you've felt in years.
"Your daughter saved my daughter," you say.
"I think," He says, "Your daughter saved mine."
Fin