D is for Dictionary
A slow day at the station for any fire crew is not always a good thing. Boredom often manifests itself into a kind of verbal, if not physical type of warfare. For Station 51's A-shift it was no different…and often more so.
After a rather uneventful start to the shift, including the captain's mandatory roll call, supply/equipment check, and the completion of assigned chores, the crew was lazily scattered around the squad room.
Johnny was on one end of the couch working on a crossword puzzle.
Mike was on the other end of the couch enjoying the latest issue of Sports Illustrated.
Hank was sitting at the table perusing that day's daily newspaper.
Roy was on a chair reading his new book…Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.
And Chet and Marco were playing chess at the table.
Scratching his head when he became stumped on one of the clues, Johnny had a rather perplexed look on his face.
"Hey Roy…" He called out to his partner.
Peering up from behind his engrossing book, Roy looked over at Johnny.
"Yes…" The senior paramedic drawled out.
"Your kids know all the Disney characters. What is that Disney dog's name?"
Bursting into laughter before Roy could answer, was Chet who could not contain himself. "I know that one, Gage...all you gotta do is to just go and look in the mirror."
Looking irritably over at his longtime nemesis, Johnny groaned loudly.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean, Chet?"
"Just what I said…go look in the mirror."
Returning his attention to his chess game with Marco, Chet waited for the inevitable retort once Johnny figured out what he was referring to.
Taking pity on his partner, but yet feeling a little unsure of sharing the answer with him for fear of triggering an all-out war, Roy bit the bullet and blurted out the answer.
"It's Goofy, Johnny…one of Mickey Mouse's friends. It's Mickey, Donald Duck, and Goofy. Jenny loves him."
After a few moments, Johnny realized what the implication of Chet's comment was.
"Chet, you BETTER not be referring to me as goofy."
"Why not, Gage…it's a known fact. In fact…if your picture was in the dictionary…the word 'goofy' would be beside your picture…in big bold letters."
"Yeah? Well…well, if your picture was in the dictionary you know what word would be beside YOUR name?"
Rolling his eyes and generally looking bored, Chet turned around and faced his sparring partner.
"Okay, Gage…I'll bite. What word would that be? Magnificent? Amazing? Fabulous?"
"Wrong…on all three counts. The word next to your mug would be the word 'annoying.'"
Taken aback by the paramedic's response, Chet couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"Annoying? You're calling ME annoying?"
"Well…if the shoe fits." Johnny replied in a matter of fact kind of tone.
Hank really did not want to get involved in the verbal sparring, but he actually thought that this discussion was a fairly interesting one.
Putting his newspaper down, the fair-minded captain smiled at his two chatty men.
"Okay, Gage and Kelly…I'll bite, too. What word would be next to my name?"
Hank's question elicited a bunch of chuckles from all of the men…making him feel a little self-conscience.
Johnny and Chet both exchanged a glance, before deciding that they would share their thoughts with their captain.
"Well…as long as you are asking for it…and there aren't going to be any repercussions, right?"
Rolling his eyes, Hank nodded his head. "Kelly, you twit…no repercussions…now spill it. What word?"
"Okay, and just remember, Cap…this isn't JUST me talking, but the word next to your name would be 'paranoid'."
Hank looked at the stocky Irishman with a surprised expression. For some reason that was not the word that he was expecting to hear. Lord knew that he, like all of his men had his quirks, but paranoia?
"Paranoid? Really, Kelly? And why would that be?"
Wanting to get his friend off the hook, Roy decided to expound on Chet's choice of word.
"Come on, Cap. It's not like you haven't exhibited some of those tendencies before. Mainly it's your reaction to McConnike. You're a paranoid mess when it comes to that man…even after all these years."
Hearing Roy's explanation, Hank peered over at his second in command.
"Michael?" Hank called out, waiting for the engineer to either agree or disagree with the senior paramedic's explanation.
"Gotta agree with that assessment, Cap…sorry."
Not even bothering to ask Marco, Hank knew when he was beat.
"Okay…so maybe I am. But it's not like you guys can escape being defined, either. Johnny's goofy, Chet's annoying, and I'm paranoid. Let's see what we can say about Mike…he's not saying a whole lot."
Johnny started to laugh. "Oh that's an easy one. The word next to Mike's picture would be the word 'quiet'."
Mike's expression turned to one of surprise.
"Quiet? Where the hell did you get that one from, John? In all of my life, I have never once been described as quiet."
"Really?" chimed Chet. "You sure don't say much around here."
"Who can with you two yahoos going at it every shift? When I feel like I have something to say, I say it...end of story."
Feeling a little left out, Marco smiled, knowing that the guys couldn't really nail him on any real quirk.
"What about me? What would my word be?" Marco asked curiously.
Saying the word in unison, the rest of the guys all said, "Nice."
"Nice?" Marco questioned. "What kind of word is 'nice'? Nice is boring…and I sure am not boring."
Smiling reassuringly at the firefighter, Hank shook his head.
"No, pal…you sure are not boring, but around here, nice is a compliment. Let's move on to Roy now."
Roy put his book down, and observed his friends. He found it interesting to see the wheels in their heads turning, while waiting to hear what word they would come up for him.
Johnny knew that his idea of the perfect word to describe his partner might land him a bit on Roy's bad side, but heck…he'd been there before, so why not?
"Okay Roy…the word that I would attach to your name is 'boring'…absolutely no sense of adventure."
Shrugging his shoulders, Roy was indifferent to his partner's description.
"Okay, so I'm boring, Johnny. I'd rather call myself careful or cautious, but if you think I'm boring, so be it."
Johnny looked at his partner with surprise. "You mean you're not upset to be called boring?"
"Should I be? Look, I have a family…I have no time to be exciting and adventurous…I'll leave that to you single guys. I am perfectly content to be boring."
Hank looked at each of the men on his crew…it was almost like they were Snow White's seven dwarfs, though there were only six of them…goofy, annoying, quiet, nice, boring, and paranoid. As a crew they certainly did make up quite an interesting dictionary.
END