Disclaimer: Stagate Atlantis is solely the property of MGM. I stake no claim to it in any way.

Author's Notes: This is my first Atlantis Fanfic. I was never any good in English class so you'll have to excuse any bad grammer and/or punctuation.

A heavy mist hung over the small Colorado Springs neighborhood as the black car pulled up in front the small white house. Looking out through the windshield, the somber Dr. Rodney McKay watched as a woman walked her dog and man checked his mail. He had only just lost his best friend, Dr. Carson Beckett and helped return the body of his fallen comrade back to Earth and back to his homeland, Scotland…

Flashback

Rodney made his way down the petunia lined path that led to a modest, but quaint house. It was as beautiful as Carson had described it, but Rodney only wished that his first visit to the Beckett home had been under happier circumstances. Stopping at the wooden door he closed his eyes and prayed once again to wake up from this terrible nightmare he was stuck in. When his eyes opened the wooden door remained.

Taking a deep breath, Rodney gave the door a couple knocks before letting his hand drop back down to his side. It seemed like an eternity passed in the two minutes it took for the door to open and reveal the petite form of an older woman he recognized as Carson's mother. A couple more minutes passed before Rodney realized that she was waiting for him to speak.

"Mrs. Beckett, my name is Rodney…Dr. Rodney McKay. I regret…" The feelings of sorrow and guilt began to creep back up into his throat as he watched the tears begin forming in the woman's eyes just as they were in his. "I regret to inform you…"

End Flashback

Stepping out of the car, Rodney found himself staring at the home of Lieutenant Laura Cadman. Laura and Rodney had a unique relationship to say the least. At times the two could hardly tolerate each other, especially after having shared his body for a time, but Rodney knew Laura had been close to Carson, even after she had returned to Earth the pair had remained friends. Of everyone in two galaxies who could be here at this moment, he knew he had to be the one to tell her.

All seemed so quiet, so peaceful as he slowly made his way up the front walk. After everything he had done…, helping Earth during Anubis' harmonic energy pulse attack on the 'gate; defending Atlantis from the Genii, the Wraith, the Replicators; and facing his own demise more times than he'd care to remember, …it was this arduous mission he now had the worst time facing. Carson was gone and there was nothing he could do to change that bitter fact.

What am I doing here... Rodney paused at the door where took a moment to adjust the tie that now seemed to be choking him, before raising a shaky hand to press the white doorbell button. The muffled chime seemed almost enough to distract him.

Flashback

"Rodney, will you stop that..."

"Huh...?" Turning around he looked confused as he stared at the man who had spoken.

Lt. Col. John Sheppard sat at the small table in McKay's temporary quarters at the SGC. "The pacing. Just watching you is starting to make me dizzy."

"Oh, sorry." Moving over Rodney sat in the chair opposite the colonel. The pair sat in silence for a short time before McKay rose and once again began his pacing. "I have to tell her."

Now it was John's turn to look confused. He hadn't a clue who Rodney could be talking about. They had only been back on Earth for a few days, ever since bringing Carson's body back following the memorial service back on Atlantis, and had just returned from the home of Carson's mother in Scotland. Looking at the scientist, "Who?"

Turning to face Sheppard,"Cadman. I have to be the one to tell her."

"Rodney..."

"No, Colonel." Jumping in before John could say anymore. "You aren't going to talk me out it. You know as well as I do how close they were. I know me and her haven't always seen eye to eye, but I can't just let her receive some empty letter or let some faceless drone show up on her doorstep. It has to come from someone she knows, someone who cares. I have to do it"

Without another word Rodney turned quickly and strolled out of the room, leaving John to only watch him go.

End Flashback

The door opened to reveal the young lieutenant, that half smile that would have usually crept him out on her face. "Hey there McKay. To what honor do I owe this visit. Did you put Atlantis into some terrible danger and need my help?" Laura teased. As she waited for one of his usual snide remarks, she noticed he wasn't in his Atlantis uniform or even regular street clothes but was attired instead in a suit and tie. Something wasn't right.

"Laura, I…" A lump jumped up into the normally acerbic doctor's throat, stopping his words.

The smile faded from her face. If the somber expression on his face wasn't enough the fact that he just called her by her first name confirmed it, no one ever called her that. Something was definitely wrong. "Rodney…?

The silence that fell between them was excruciating. The words were there, playing over and over in his head but Rodney couldn't seem to form them with his mouth. A familiar tingle behind his eye caused him looked away but only for a brief moment. When his gaze returned, Laura felt her heart sink at the site of the tears forming in his eyes. Suddenly she knew what was coming. Oh God no…

Rodney found himself in battle with his emotions that once again threatened to take over. Looking into Laura's eyes, he saw the shift of emotion in them. Swallowing hard he forced himself to continue, "Laura, Carson's gone."

There it was. As the air escaped her lungs, it was as if someone had just punched her in the stomach. Carson's gone… Closing her eyes, she felt the room spinning as Rodney's words echoed in her head. Laura sank to the floor, it was as if the weight of whole world had suddenly crashed down on her. This can't be true…it just can't.

Rodney watched helplessly as the woman's emotions began to overwhelm her. Kneeling down Rodney wrapped his arms around the young lieutenant, pulling her into a tight embrace. He wanted her to know she wasn't alone, that he was there for her, that he was her friend. "Laura, I'm so sorry."

The arms around her offered only a little comfort as she felt every ounce of control slip away. Grabbing onto Rodney, Laura tried to regain a hold on her emotion but to no avail. She buried her face in his shoulder as she felt the tears begin to sear her cheeks.

Closing his eyes, Rodney felt a dull ache in his chest as he listened to Laura's muffled sobs. He had never seen her this way and he found it tearing him apart inside. Holding her tightly Rodney came to a frightening realization. He suddenly knew why he had come, why needed to be the one. His feelings for the woman in his arms were deeper than he had ever known. He was in love with Laura Cadman.