Title: we would have to keep this secret
Disclaimer: not my characters; title from "Secret" by Heart.
Warnings: modern AU; discussion of violence; implied torture
Pairings: Steve/Bucky
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 770
Point of view: third
Prompt: Author's Choice, any/any, Song: Secret by Heart
iWe lead two different lives/
Just like two lines that never cross/
And here we are together/
Standing closer than we ought...
James Barnes and Steve Rogers met when they were both six years old because Steve was defending an injured dog from boys trying to hurt her and James Barnes (at that point in his life) didn't believe in unfair fights. One boy against five? Not fair.
Two boys against five isn't all that fair, either, but it did turn them into friends for life.
.
After high school, James Barnes went into the army; Steve Rogers would have, but he couldn't pass the physical. He went to Yale and then joined the FBI instead, and became an analyst rather than the field agent he would've preferred to be.
He and Bucky (as he called James, a holdover from their childhood, a nickname only he used) eventually lost touch as Bucky was sent around the world on ever more classified assignments.
.
Bucky turns up in Steve's apartment not to long after Steve's 26th birthday minus his left arm and with a high-tech prosthetic.
"Hey, Stevie," he says, slumped in the armchair. "I need your help."
.
James Barnes, Bucky tells him over dinner, is believed KIA on a mission that does not officially exist, in a country James Barnes has never officially been to.
"They didn't kill me," Bucky says, eyes on his plate, the metal hand hidden under the table. He changes the topic and Steve doesn't ask for more information.
.
Bucky spends sixth months bumming around Steve's apartment. He cooks and cleans and runs any errands Steve needs run, and he helps Steve with work, whenever Steve needs to bounce ideas off someone. Four months in, Bucky kisses him and after that, they spend all their nights together in Steve's bed.
Seven months after Bucky's arrival, he gets a text. "Finally," he mutters, grinning at the phone.
.
Bucky sits Steve down on the bed Steve only ever thinks of as theirs and he says, "The woman who saved me – she's got the name of the man –" He cuts himself off and clenches his left fist. "I have to go, Steve."
Steve presses his lips together and nods. "Will you come back?"
.
Steve goes to work, comes home, cooks, cleans, sleeps. After two weeks, he pulls himself together because he lived for five years without a single word from Bucky.
A month later, Bucky's waiting for him in bed, bruised and bloody, and he says with satisfaction, "They're all dead, Stevie. Every last one of 'em."
.
Bucky spends two weeks recuperating and then he says, "Nat, she's got work for me. D'ya mind – I'd like to come back." He glances down, then back up at Steve through his lashes. "I'd like to call this home," he confesses.
Steve reaches out to cup his cheek. "I'd like that, too," he says, sliding into Bucky's lap.
.
Steve does not ask what sort of work "Nat" has for Bucky. Bucky never offers details. He does, though, talk about the places he goes, the sights he sees. He brings back little kitschy souvenirs that Steve puts up on the mantle.
He also comes back bruised, with fresh scars, with broken fingers (once), with cracked ribs. Steve just sighs and purposefully doesn't think about it.
.
He knows. Of course he knows.
He tells his co-workers that his boyfriend drives big-rigs.
.
Once upon a time, Steve Rogers thought the sun rose and set on Bucky Barnes.
Sometimes, he still thinks that. Other times… other times, he takes sick days so that he doesn't have the temptation of going upstairs and telling his boss that his boyfriend kills people for money.
.
Bucky holds him close, wraps around him, murmurs, "Love ya, Stevie."
"Love you, too, Buck," Steve whispers, eyes closed, listening to Bucky breathe.
.
Steve will never tell. In fact… when he sees intel from wherever Bucky was last coming into the Bureau, he obfuscates it.
He feels awful after, every time. But. It's Bucky.
.
"C'mon, Stevie," Bucky cajoles halfway through the summer. "Take a vacation. There's a whole world out there you've never seen."
"Fine," Steve finally says. "I do have weeks of vacation time saved up."
.
When they were kids, they used to plan out the places they'd go to, the things they'd do.
None of that happened – but Bucky's grinning at him, and Steve's doing (mostly) good, and this might not be the future his ma wanted for him, but he's happy, anyway.
.
Steve knows it'll all come crashing down eventually. Until then, though…
"Don't look so serious," Bucky laughs. "We're in fuckin' Paris, Stevie." And he spins Steve into his arms, drags him into a dorky dance, and Steve finally starts laughing, too.