I wrote this the same night I saw Toy Story 3, and I decided that I absolutely needed to write a fanfic about Ken and Twitch because they somehow managed to become my favorite characters. The reason I never bothered to post this story until now was that I couldn't decide on a title and how I could somehow work that title into the context of the story. After several months of tweaking and being victimized to listening to Lady Gaga here and there, this final version of the ficclet came into existence and demanded to be posted. I'm in the process of looking for a new beta too, so please forgive any little nitpicks of grammar mistakes that you may or may not find. I'm sure that I missed a few in my editing here and there… anyways, Toy Story is not mine. If it was, Lotso would have died horribly and the entire daycare would have burned down simply because I find that scarring children for life is lulzy. Concrit is always loved.

Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my poker face

Poker Face - Lady Gaga

i

Twitch was not sure who to be more annoyed with: Barbie or Ken.

Things had not always been that way, of course. Shortly after Lotso's departure from Sunnyside though, it was only natural that his second in command take over. Unfortunately, that very same person just so happened to be the overly flamboyant and ambiguous male from Mattel's line of Barbie dolls. Ken was a decent leader enough, his bright personality made him a perfect selection but it also rendered him irritating at best. Incredibly irritating. Yes, the first few parties for new toy arrivals were fun, but it became very tiresome for Twitch not long after he lost count. He and Ken had always been friends despite that, but they had grown somewhat apart after Barbie started clinging to him more and more often like the insufferable leech she was. Barbie amplified Ken's obnoxiousness at best, and Ken had already been a bit of a migraine before the leadership change and girlfriend bonus.

That was before the new Zurg toy dropped in.

Of course Barbie ended up taking a liking to the new arrival. Not because Zurg himself was handsome or endearing as Ken was in anyway, but because Barbie felt sorry for him. Zurg was a villain toy from the Buzz Lightyear line and, as such, the other toys of Sunnyside mostly alienated themselves from him. Despite being the ditzy femme fatale and overall arm candy, she was certainly far from stupid and surprisingly motherly. Seeing Zurg always keeping to himself must have pulled some of Barbie's heartstrings and she, a compassionate and concerned doll, had tried to befriend him. Zurg was hesitant and suspicious of her endearing nature at first, but over time the two eventually took a liking to each other. Ken tolerated Barbie going off to see Zurg at first, although his patience eventually began to wane when she eventually started spending more time with Zurg than she was with him. Unfortunately for poor Ken, there was little he could do about it. Barbie never took him seriously as it was and, all of a sudden, her friendly relationship with Zurg took a much more personal and romantic one. Barbie left him the same night that Ken invited him over. As far as Twitch knew, he was supposed to be helping Ken get over the loss of his girlfriend.

Supposed to, anyways. Being friends with Ken was something that he enjoyed for certain merits, but not for being cramped up inside the other toy's dream house dressing room. Particularly considering his height and how damn low the ceiling was.

"My back hurts," Twitch muttered with an annoyed razz, tapping his fingers impatiently on his temple. He had been sitting on the dressing room's undersized bench hunched over in an uncomfortable position to keep from bashing his head on the roof. "Are you done yet? Poker starts in ten minutes. We'll be late."

"Hold onto your antennas," Ken called somewhere behind the row of hung clothes to the action figure's immediate right. "I'm still trying to pick my clothes."

Twitch made it a personal mission of his to keep from snapping at the other man. He was here to support Ken after all, and talking back to him in anger would have ruined that. Instead, he kept his poker face and tried to make it look like he was entirely calm. Regardless though, his voice came out sourly tart. "You've been doing that for the past hour."

It was an overstatement, although certainly not by much. Forty-five minutes was very close to an hour if the huge wristwatch sitting neatly in the far back of the room was accurate. "I'd be easier if I wasn't so upset," Ken muttered suddenly in a low voice. Whether or not Twitch was intended to hear his disgruntled musing was beyond the anthro-insect's level of thinning patience. Ken was usually a very vibrant toy when he was happy, although he usually kept to himself when distressed. Granted that it was something that rarely ever happened to begin with, Barbie leaving him - especially for a villain action figure, no less - was something that made him very distressed. When he was distressed though, that was usually when he invited Twitch over. They had been friends the longest after all, so the concept of having him as company was seemingly ideal enough. Except Twitch hated dress up almost as much as Ken hated that Barbie left him.

Almost as if to add insult to injury, Ken spoke up from where he was standing behind the left row of clothing how he managed to cross from the right side of the room to the left without Twitch having noticed, it was again beyond the anthro-insect's level of patience to comprehend. "Thanks for coming over again, Twitch. I really do appreciate it."

"Just hurry it up, already," he razzed in response. "Sometimes I regret ever having meet you."

He did not actually mean it, of course. If he hadn't met Ken upon his arrival to Sunnyside, it would have landed him in the trash bin under Lotso's orders for sure. Ken had a resident at the daycare longer than he had and, consequently, so was Lotso. Twitch had been donated to a thrift store after his first boy - a then fifteen year old Benjamin - outgrew him. One disgruntled purchase by a young teen woman doing community service at the daycare center later, he ended up at Sunnyside in the Butterfly Room. The strawberry scented Lots-Of-Hugs stuffed bear had welcomed him into the center with open arms and a surprisingly strong hug to live up to his brand's namesake. The warming air did not last long, however. His first night there, once the toys began to settle down for the night, he found himself conked over the head and knocked out cold. When he finally came to, he was tied down to a small plastic rocking chair by tightly bound and brightly colored fuzzy pipe cleaners. Whoever tied them must have been a brute, he thought to himself in dazed horror upon the realization that he could not break free. He was stronger than most toys, and it stunned him to find himself in a situation where his strength would not help him.

Not even his sense of morale could help him.

Truth be told, Twitch had been an honorable toy in a past lifetime. Back when he was Benjamin's toy, he had more or less been the leader of the young toddler's collection of misfit action figures and other sparsely assorted toys. When Lotso confronted him that fateful night at Sunnyside - having gone from the friendly bear to something far less than benevolent - he gave Twitch an ultimatum. Either he was to be thrown in with the other rejected toys in the Caterpillar Room, or he could step up to replace Lotso's old bodyguard. The Transformers action figure in question - a leader class Cybertron Starscream - was recently killed when he was brought outside by a careless older child and then accidentally run over by a minivan when he was left in the daycare's driveway. Lotso needed a replacement. Twitch had initially refused.

It was then that Ken was brought in to attempt convincing him otherwise. Twitch's memory was hazy, but the doll had somehow won him over that evening. Twitch joined Lotso's elite guard, and Ken somehow ended up becoming more or less of a companion.

Ken blew a raspberry at his comment, still behind the row of clothing to his left. "You're so sweet," he said with sickly charming sarcasm.

Twitch growled and bit back the insult that he was tempted to spit out. He kept his poker face.

Abruptly, Ken stepped out from behind the row of clothing he had been shuffling behind. He had on a pair of white jeans and a pink sparkly jacket that Twitch was sure was intended specifically for a Barbie doll. Twitch was not surprised, at least. There was almost no predicting the flamboyant man's nature. Ken was grinning a disgustingly dazzling smile at him and he reached up with both hands to grasp the opening of the jacket with a tug to gesture at it. "Well, what do you think? Should I wear this, or the other jacket I have that looks like it."

The muscled man-bug twitched an antenna irritably. "Whichever one sparkles the least."

It took a moment for the insult to sink in, though whether or not this was because Ken was slow in the head had little to do with it. The doll usually responded to positive commentary about his fashion sense immediately, but a general reaction to criticism came much slower when it was of a negative nature. The man's grin, after an awkward span of several lagging seconds, began to slowly fade into a frown of discontent. It was almost comical the way he pursed his lips and put a hand on his hips in a dissatisfied pout. "Well then… goes to show what you know about fashion. This jacket is vintage."

Twitch buzzed his small wings and razzed, annoyed with the man. "Looks a bit feminine to me."

The anthro-insect reviled in his own sense of glee at seeing Ken's reaction. The doll's face twisted in what was an attempt at an intimidating snarl and he stomped his foot in a manner that was borderline childish. "I am not a girl's toy!"

It was a strange hang up that Ken had, to avert anything that even remotely referred to him as being a girl's toy. Technically he was, he was a Barbie line accessory whether he liked it or not, and Twitch found it hilarious. Resisting the urge to grin, the action figure settled for merely twitching his mandibles in a smirk. "I never said you were a girl's toy."

This seemed to fuel some imaginary fire of Ken's, because he stormed off behind several clothes racks to change into something else. After several terse moments of roughly sorting through the plastic racks and angrily muttering to himself, Ken stepped back out and looked at Twitch angrily. "How about this?"

Twitch was almost about to say that it was feminine simply out of reflex. After all, nine out of ten times, all of Ken's clothes were feminine. He was more or less a girl's play thing after all, so it only seemed fair. Although, after actually taking a moment to look over the man, Twitch felt a twinge of moderate respect toward the other man. Judging by Ken's tightly fitting leather jacket and torn denim pants with the spiked boots, his current selection of clothing was the one out of ten times where he actually looked moderately masculine… for a girl's toy, at least.

Ken stomped a boot impatiently, waving a hand in front of Twitch's face. He had come closer to the action figure in Twitch's moment of distraction, and now they were no more than an arm's breadth apart. "Hello! Earth to Twitch! How about this, Buzz Brain?"

Twitch swatted at his hand upon returning to reality. "Not bad," he said looking him up and down. "I like the boots."

"I should have known!" Ken threw his hands up into the air in exasperation. The doll turned suddenly sharply on his heel and began to strut away in an angry huff. His temper tantrums were amusing, at least. "You never like any of my clothes, you brute! I don't even know… why…" the man's fast paced walk and ranting turned slower before he stopped moving and speaking entirely. He stood there in place with his back turned to Twitch before, slowly, he glanced warily over his shoulder and looked at the muscled anthro-insect almost disbelievingly. "Wait, what? You… like it?"

Twitch scoffed and shrugged. "Why not? Looks rough enough and not too girly. I'm impressed, Ken. I didn't know that Mattel made those kinds of clothes."

Ken laughed a little at that, sheepishly rubbing at the back of his head. "Uh, well, actually…" He bit his lip and ran a hand down his leather jacket to caress the fabric. "The jacket is from the Bratz line. The pants are too, but the boots came from a separate Barbie knock-off brand."

Twitch grinned. "It looks great, actually. Too bad the rest of your wardrobe doesn't compare. The look suits you."

Ken rubbed the back of his head again at that, scuffing the floor with his boots modestly. He was flattered, Twitch could tell, and a bit shy at receiving the compliment. Ken was usually prone to such antics whenever complaints on his wardrobe were involved. After a second or two of babbling on nervously - Twitch did not hear whatever it was that he said, as he was too busy mulling over his friend - Ken gestured toward the door. "Well, uh, the guys are going to be waiting. Poker night."

"Almost forgot," Twitch said jokingly… despite the fact that it was true. He had almost forgotten. Maybe he was starting to enjoy Ken's little dress up sessions a little too much. He stood and was careful to duck his head so he would not bash it against the ceiling, and he spared Ken a quick sideways glance on his way out the door. "Feeling better?"

Ken looked at him and tilted his head to the side. The gesture was almost comical. "About what?"

Twitch found Ken's suddenly bright behavior a little odd. Twitch managed to struggle out through the door onto the dream house's second floor balcony and jumped. He landed expertly, keeping his knees poised and balance in check before straightening himself out and stretching. Finally, the ache in his back and neck was beginning to recede. Behind him, he heard the crank of the dream house's outdoor elevator as Ken lowered himself to the ground. The Butterfly Room was dark at that time or night aside from the light of the outside street lamps shining in through the windows. Twitch turned to look at Ken as the other man waltzed over toward him. "Barbie I mean. You two broke up a few hours ago and I came over to cheer you up. Remember?"

Ken's expression did not change in the least. He was still grinning when he reached out and lightly trailed his hand over the other toy's arm in passing. "Uh huh. Yep. I remember," he said quickly.

Twitch twitched his mandibles and inwardly frowned, both from the doll's display of behavior and touch. He came to the less than pleasant realization that Ken was perhaps smarter than he had given him credit for. Getting into Ken's frivolously pink Mattel pink convertible - the new kind with the built in radio - and taking up both of the car's entire backseat area, he came to the realization that Ken had perhaps been wearing a poker face of his very own. Had he really been as upset about Barbie as he had let on? Now Twitch was not so sure of himself. If that was the case, then why had Ken invited him over.

"Maybe I ought to come over more often," Twitch thought to himself with a grin suddenly tugging at his mandibles. Oh yes. Two could play at this game. They weren't the two best poker players at Sunnyside for no reason.

Ken leapt into the driver's side without bothering to open the door. He landed in the seat with a thump of plastic against plastic and looked over his shoulder to briefly flash a grin at Twitch before turning on the switch to start of the car. The battery powered radio blared to life and the channel announcer said that they were going to start playing Lady Gaga. What song it was, Twitch had a feeling he already knew. He was spot on in his guess, too. Lucky him, he thought.

"This is going to be a long night," he said out loud to himself over the drone of Poker Face.

Fin