(The Death Battle theme plays)
Bullet: Sailors. They have the worst mouths ever.
Tech: but what would happen if these two sailors fought to the death?
Bullet: Mr. Krabs, the manager of the Krusty Krab and navy veteran.
Tech: And Popeye, the sailor man. I'm Tech and he's Bullet and it's up to us toc analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to see who would win, a Death Battle!
(Death Battle logo)
Tech: Popeye made his first appearance in 1929 and became a big hit ever since.
Bio
Alias: Sailor
Age: unknown
Height: unknown
Weight: unknown
Occupation: Sailor
Feats
-can resist mind control after eating spinach
-becomes master of discipline after taking spinach
-lassoed the sun and pulled it up just so the mourning would come quicker
-pulled the moon closer to Earth
-once ate an entire field of spinach to defeat a martian invasion
-punched through a martian disintegration beam
-grabbed a flying saucer, threw it like a Frisbee, and made it ricochet off the entire martian fleet like a pinball
-has ran down Bluto, on foot, while Bluto was speeding away in a race car in an attempt to kidnap Olive Oyl
-ran down, and ran past (on numerous occasions), a speeding locomotive to save Olive Oyl, who was tied to the tracks, from being ran over.
-punched the locomotive and it turned into a pipe organ
-single-handedly laid track for a speeding train
-punched through a mountain
-punched out fighter jets in mid flight
-punched fast enough to deflect hundreds of rounds of machine gun fire at close range with his bare hands
-chewed up steel beams and spat them out as bullets, nails, and rivets
-can fly like a fighter jet
-punched a giant octopus and turned it into a merry-go-round
-punched out a fleet of German battleships
-turnd out lights in home town for bomb raid in a matter of seconds
-punched a giant gorilla into 3 smaller versions
-punched a mountain into a hill because it was blocking his view
-survived having a battleship dropped on him by Bluto
-survived being shot point black in the face with a cannonball
-punched out a fire breathing dragon
-can break the 4th wall
Bullet: Popeye is no pushover. So don't get in his way.
Popeye: I'll save you Olive!
(Death Battle logo)
Tech: Eugene Krabs is a navy veteran turned fast food restaurant owner.
Bio
Alias: manager and the founder of the Krusty Krab
Age: 72
Height: 0-07
Weight: 5oz
Occupation: manager of the Krusty Krab
other names: Armor Abs Krab
Weaknesses
-greedy of money
-old
-gets easily angry a lot
-loves free stuff
-hates spending money
Bullet: But even though he's old, he's still the toughest of the tough.
Mr. Krabs: Just remember the most important rule
(Death Battle logo)
Tech: The combatants are set, time to end this debate once and for all.
Bullet: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!
(Death Battle logo)
Popeye's looking into the water in the beach. And when he looks away, he feels someone pick-pocketing him. So Popeye grabs the arm of the thief. Turns out it was Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs. He he, this is awkward.
Popeye: Why are you trying to pick me picket bub?
Mr. Krabs: Because I like money.
Announcer: FIGHT!
Popeye then throws Mr. Krabs into a building. Then Popeye runs towards Mr. Krabs, only to get punched in the face by Mr. Krabs's pincer. Popeye stumbles back at the punch. He then looks at the crab getting up. Popeye then knowing he doesn't have a chance without spinach, he eats some spinach. His muscles then gets bigger.
Mr. Krabs: Oh boy.
Then Popeye punches Mr. Krabs in the face, sending him through a post office. Mr. Krabs then gets up and looks angry.
Mr. Krabs: So, you want a battle aye? Well you got one matey!
Mr. Krabs then rushes towards the sailor, only to get punched in the face again. He then tries again, but then dodges the fist and tackles Popeye. They then land into the water, where it becomes an underwater battle. But they're still falling like it's normal gravity. They then fall into the Krusty Krab. Everyone in the restaurant watches them trade blows. And when Popeye grabs his spinach again because he's running low, Mr. Krabs grabs the spinach and throws it in the garbage.
Popeye: Why'd you do that fer?
Mr. Krabs: So I could do this you bildrat!
Mr. Krabs then headbutts Popeye, causing the sailor to stumble back. Then when Popeye tries to punch Mr. Krabs in the gut, he punches his armor abs. Popeye then holds his hand in pain.
Mr. Krabs: Think you could pull a fast one on me? Well I'll show you.
Mr. Krabs then puts Popeye's head between his right pincer and then clamped down as hard as he can, causing Popeye's neck to give-way and cuts Popeye's head off.
Mr. Krabs: *Laughing* Looks I won.
Announcer: K.O!
(The left screen shows Mr. Krabs stealing Popeye's wallet, only to find it's empty and the right screen shows Popeye's body and head floating to the surface)
Bullet: Wow. I didn't see that coming.
Mr. Krabs
+had more experience
+was faster
+pincers gave him the upper hand
-didn't know about Popeye's spinach
-wasn't as smart
Popeye
+was stronger
+was smarter
-was slower
-has less experience
-loss of spinach made him loose
Tech: The winner, is Eugene H. Krabs
(The next time screen shows up)
Bullet: Next time on Death Battle.
A teenage girl's voice: The whole memory of my birth is too despairing.
Tech: Got an idea for a Death Battle?
Bullet: Then leave it in the comments. And while you're at it, why don't you subscribe for more Death Battles? And check out Screwattack's new game Disorder. It would really help them.