I stand, taking in the light coming through the window. I yawn, stretching my arms out. A cough comes from the entrance. I turn smiling to the lady servant standing there.
"You may come in," I gesture next to me. She smiles stepping forward, pulling out a pretty gold gown. "Oh!" I jump closer to the lady servant, looking closely at the fabric. I, without thinking, grab the gown and start dancing holding the gown against my body to pretend its already on. An imaginary prince steps forward to take my hand. He gracefully leads me out to the balcony. The sun is a magnificent yellow against the faded light blue sky, I smile despite scrunching my eyes against the slightly glaring light. The prince of course compliments my gown and dances as though he was born to be a dancer instead of a future king.
"Donna?" The lady servant coughs again. I pause as the illusion fades.
"Sorry." I grin despite slight embarrassment. She takes the gown from my grasp a bit roughly. I stand quietly as she pulls the gown carefully over my arms and head. Her old joints crack while she binds the back of the gown together to enclose me into constricting fabric. Its hard when the world doesn't seem as magical as daydreams; lady servants are never young servant girls who wish to be heroines by saving their master's lives or other forms of heroic pursuits that could prove them more deserving of a good title than someone born into the right. Such as me. Servants don't even seem to have dreams, as I think I do. I sigh uncomfortably until I gaze down. I gasp. The gown looks quite flattering. I twirl once again, almost knocking down the lady servant. "Opps!" I try to catch her as she almost falls. Her body slaps against the cold floor. She stands as fast as she can manage and leaves the room without looking back. I sigh once again sitting upon the bed. I can be clumsy sometimes, which proves unflattering to most people.
"Lucrezia?" I hear echo down the hall. I stand rushing out to gaze at my mother resting in the garden. The garden is a beautiful green with flowers of all sorts and colors. I smell a light orange daisy before standing in front of my mother respectfully. "Turn." I turn, twirling the long bottom of the blue and golden colored gown. She smiles encouragingly which makes me smile brightly as well. I sit down, picking up some sort of red fruit. I nibble on the outside before turning to look once again at my mother. Her gaze has turned into one of pain, but once she sees my stare, her expression changes abruptly into one of comfort. The smile doesn't meet her eyes. I flush with annoyance.
"You can tell me things, you know that, correct?" I try to put off an air of strength. "I can handle whatever you have to say." She nods quietly, instead of scolding me for my bluntness. Her eyes are a light blue against her olive skin. Her hair is in her usual light brown ringlets that mimic my golden curls.
"You remind me of your papa." She sets down the fruit in her hand to look out into the streets. The usual buzz that surrounds our hotel is still here. The fish market is regretfully next to our quint little paradise. The townspeople must have caught an excessive amount of salmon this morning judging by the smell. Mother turns back to look at me. Her attention not fixed on me. "Your papa wants you to join him in Italy." I blanch, unsure on what to say. Papa hasn't been around in a few months. He has been in Italy, centered around the Vatican. Who could blame him? As a cardinal, it was his duty to be very devoted to the church.
"At the Vatican?" I ask perplexed. Her snort of laughter makes me blush.
"No, silly girl! Just in Italy so that way you may be close to him." She turns her gaze back to the fish market, to spark reason to believe that she may not be telling the complete truth.
"Are you coming then?" Sometimes I can't help but ask silly questions. Mama holds back another snort to return a stare of coldness.
"I did not raise you to be a fool, Lucrezia." She shifts as though to make the air less cold. Mama does not mean to be as bitter as she appears sometimes. She places her hand underneath my chin to lift my head up to meet her gaze. "Honey, you know that would be inappropriate. Your papa has moved on to other pursuits." She looks bitterly away from my face. I know it reminds her of him sometimes. With my brooding eyebrows and small nose, I can almost mimic my papa's expression of distaste or pleasure. "Besides, who would take care of the inns?" She smiles taking my hands into hers. "I have reason to believe that I've raised you well enough. This momentary separation will mean nothing as long as you are safe and prospering. For now that means you must stay with your father."
"When do I leave?" I'm becoming quite nervous quickly. What if I'm attacked on the journey there? Mama makes it sound as though something bad could happen if I stayed here or even there for that matter. Does papa have enemies that hate him that much? Not to be a fool in thinking that my papa is as innocent as a child and has developed no enemies in his long lifetime, but surely as a cardinal, that must mean that he has some powerful friends in high places to keep us all safe? Excluding the spiritual kind of friend.
"This afternoon." Mama stands so she does not have to stare at me. I look down at my gown realizing I was foolish to think this gift did not signify an important event was to come whether I approved or not. My hands squeeze the poor fabric in anger. "Your brother will be coming to travel with you and ensure your safety." My hands let go of the squashed fabric. I have not seen Cesare in a few years. We were so close as children; me always following him around the household as though I was a kitten following a mother cat. He must of thought of me as an annoyance or just plain silly. Cesare was always so cunning and caused so much mischief when our other brother Giovanni was around. To see Cesare once again would be a peculiar situation since he did not even say goodbye before going off with the other boys for tutoring in Italy, which was quite disheartening.
"Cesare?" I dare not to look up until a moment of silenced forced me to. She was staring at me questioningly.
"No, Lucrezia." She looked away as though preoccupied fiddling with daisies and other frivolous plants. "Giovanni, along with his close friends. Giovanni may be young, but I trust him with you, Lucrezia. Unlike some." The snub at Cesare made me flinch knowing how many things were implied. Mama has not spoken of Cesare for quite a while, as though he does not exist. I suppose that may be because he never said goodbye to her either before leaving with Papa. I hold back a sigh and fix my hard gaze on the blue sky above us. "You are dismissed to fetch your bags." I quickly stand and briskly walk up the stairs to my bed chamber. "Pack enough clothing for a few days only. Your papa will give you necessary clothing when you arrive in Italy." Mama calls loudly enough so that I may hear it in my room. From a quick glance about the room I observe that the lady servant appears to not be around at this moment. I pull out four light gowns and other items a young lady would need for a journey. Giovanni was not a terrible brother, he just seemed as though he was never happy. He would always ask for more everything, even when eating. It was a wonder how he never was as plump as round breakfast fruit! Though he was a bit chubby. Maybe this interaction with my brother could be beneficial to us both. He was entertaining as a child and may be able to educate me on how young lady's acted in Rome. Being that I am almost sixteen, papa may even want to marry me off in Rome to some nobleman. I wonder what Roman men were like. Oh the possibilities! I sit once again on my small bed. But what if I never come back? Mama has raised me, not completely alone but I feel as though leaving with Papa is a betrayal to her. Just as Papa left her for some beautiful Roman woman. It is ignorant for me to think that, he had responsibilities to the church and ambitious ideas for our family. That is why he left, not for something as mundane as love or infatuation. I wonder if I'm a part of his plans now that I will live with him or whether I'm just a new ornament like his lovers appear to be.