My mother ounce said that Love was a mountain, huge, scary, and exciting. I was more than willing to climb that mountain as long as Logan was strapped to a harness and right beside me. Had I known that Logan was going to get scared and climb back down, leaving me stranded and in pain, then I' positive that I would have stayed on the ground. I would have taken the first taxi back to town.

The sadness that he left me with is large and heavy, and sometimes I feel like it's suffocating me. Slowly sucking oxygen from my lungs and leaving nothing but dry tissue.

The pain is like a wave, a vicious wave. A wave that pulls you under and no matter how hard you fight you just can't seem to break the surface. The anger's like paper and fire; consuming a small part of me until I want to do is punch a wall, or maybe James' face, or Logan's. How could he leave me when I put every fucking thing on the line for him. There's anger, but there's mostly sadness and tears.

I can't even describe the self-hate, just that it's constant and soul burning.

-Camille

He's looking at her again and it's pissing me off. We're in class and Logan's suppose to be paying attention to the board, not the way Camille's hair catches and shines in the light.

He chose me, he fucking chose me, so he shouldn't be looking at Camille like she's the best damned thing since spiral galaxies were discovered. I want to yell at him to stop, to just stop loving her.

No matter how much I deny it I know that he still loves her. But Logan chose me, so he should stop looking at her, plus I'm prettier anyway. He should just freaking stop.

I can see Camille and the way she has glassy eyes. At least I'm not the only one hurting here. Then he hand moves across her face and comes back black. I can see the way Logan's eyes get sympatric, like someone just kicked a puppy, and frowns.

My skin feels tight and too small, the anger makes the room feel humid, too humid.

I need to leave. "James, get back here this instant!" I don't listen.

I slide down the side of the building. I know why he chose me. He loved Camille (and still does), but the love was big and frightening, like a wolf. He did what everyone does when they see a wolf. He ran, he ran fast and didn't look back, except he's looking back right now. He didn't want to get hurt, so he left.

He loved me enough to be with me and be happy, but not be too hurt if things didn't work out. We'll always be friends, so he wouldn't lose me, but he knew he and Camille would be friends afterwards. He knew that he'd lose her. Their love for each other was big enough that they couldn't be friends, or at least any time soon after, if it fell apart. They'd gone too deep in for the end not to hurt. Logan thought their love would break down, but he couldn't know that for sure. He's smart, but not physic. I personally think Logan and Camille's love would have worked out, but Logan never stayed long enough to find that out.

He chose me, the easy road. Logan's a coward and he should just fucking stop, stop everything.

-James