Raph's POV

Here I am, in the middle of the night. We just came back from a boring patrol and just went straight to bed. Well, except for Donnie of course… I tried sleeping, but no matter how hard I try my thoughts keep wandering off.
Maybe it's because of what Donnie said: 'when the night is quiet, you hear your own thoughts'.
At the time, we all laughed at him. But here I am, lost in my own thoughts. So I stop fighting them. I sit on my bed with my shell against the wall and let my thoughts flow freely…

Our life as a kid wasn't easy. We never knew when we would get some 'food' and if we would still be safe. Because believe me when I tell you: the life in the New York sewer isn't as pretty as it sounds!
Sensei tried his best and he risked his life more often than he would like to admit. Without him, we wouldn't have survived that first week. He found us shelter, looked for food… He took care of us, like we were his sons. And we looked up to him like he was our father. But even with his good care, there was a constant threat in our lives.

Back then, neither of us knew how to fight. So even Leo couldn't protect us when we were in danger.
Even I wasn't (this) hot-tempered yet. I was angry when things didn't go my way, but I didn't fight as much with my brothers as I do know.
Back in the days when Donnie wasn't a genius, we didn't have a well hidden lair and a security system.
But all those years ago, Mikey already was a complete buthead! If you heard someone fall or break something, you didn't have to look to know it was Mikey. He acted completely ridiculous and was the clown of the family.
Oh, how things have changed…
Since the day we went up to the surface, everything started changing. And everyone as well…

Sensei became even more strict and more protective. It's just because he cares about us, but that doesn't make it any less annoying! He also took our training to an entire new level. And after every scratch we get is cleaned and bandaged, we get an upgrade in our training. Just to make sure we won't get another scratch like that!
Without his wisdom, we would never be the ninja's we are today.

Leo always wanted to take care of us and we liked it. It took a burden off of our shoulders and he enjoyed being needed. But that changed…
We all remember the day sensei made Leo the leader. Not just because it changed our lives, but because it changed Leo. He stopped hangin' around with me, helping Donnie with a project or laughing with Mikey. He just… stopped being the brother I knew.
Sure, we never got along very well, but from that day on it got a lot worse. And the only reason is because I remember what it used to be like when he wasn't 'the highest rank'. I remember the times when we would just be equal, back when it didn't matter who was oldest or who was the youngest. We would just be brothers and that used to be enough. I wish we could get that back. Even if it was just for one night…

Then there's me. I've always been the first one to yell or talk back, I guess it's just in my blood. The others didn't mind, they accepted me and I appreciated that. But also my temper changed…
The day we went to the surface, we were so excited. Sensei had always tried to scare us with stories from above ground so we wouldn't want to go there. But those stories just made us more curious. We loved it! Then, we saw the bad guys and all the terrible things that were happening. All the injustice… I couldn't help it, something inside of me snapped. I felt like it was my duty to help to make this world a better place. And if I could do that by fighting against crime, then so be it. But my first duty still is: protecting my family. If you hurt them, you won't live to see another day…

Our 'little' Donnie is the most insecure one of our team. He may be the smartest, but he doubts everything and then goes to his lab to test it. We keep teasing him and making fun of him, but we couldn't get around without him. He makes sure our lair is hidden and we won't be discovered. I can't keep up with what his saying most of the time, but as long as it doesn't blow up (literally!) I'm fine with it. The day we fought our first real fight, Donnie got a sort of new confidence. I think because his inventions suddenly had a purpose. He wasn't 'our handy-man' anymore. Suddenly, he was a real inventor and he got credit for what he did. Okay, we don't give him enough credit… but he knows that we appreciate what he does.

Last, but certainly not least is my baby brother Mikey. Even just thinking about him makes me smile. The two of us combined make a wonderful team to do anything that requires energy. He's just bouncing about the lair, no matter if it's morning, noon, evening… He's also the only one in this family who can cook! He's also very creative. The ideas just keep coming. And every other time, there will be a good one!
I know we baby him all the time because he's the youngest, but he can be a genius if he needs to. But that's the thing: he knows we got it covered, so he can be the clown and the joker he wants to be. And that's good, because we need that! I wouldn't know what I would do without my baby brother's ability to cheer us up. Actually, when I think about it, he's the only one who never changed. And that's the only way I want it! And, byt the way: without him, this family would have fallen apart years ago!

The greatest thing about the four of us is that we don't have to say how we feel out loud. We just have a connection! I am so proud of all of my brothers. I wouldn't change this life for anything in the world!

When I look at my clock, I see it's 3:30 AM. I already know trying to sleep is no use, so I get up and go to our living room. Maybe there's something on TV?

Author's note: Hi! I'm incredibly sorry for such a long break! I just was so busy with school and I had a major writers block. But I've been working on this for a while and I hope you like it :D Let me know! :) Any suggestions are welcome :)
Also, this story is written to celebrate my ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY ON ! :D