title: Burnout
author: Hikasne
pairing(s): implied Ace/Kuki, implied Wally/Kuki
time: ½ hour
music: Crazy – Alanis Morissette
summary: "So all those promises you made—gone."
She stands on tiptoe, trying to find his mouth with hers, but he holds her away playfully, grinning.
"What about Ace?" he says into her ear, those hard, hot arms that have become so familiar already wrapping around her. She curls into him, needing his heat, an infrared necessity.
"Ace who?" she replies, smiling, unconsciously fluttering her eyes as she tries to keep him in focus, his face approaching. His warm hand spreads out on her back.
He kisses her in a new way, with a certain desperation, his arms locking around her waist and maneuvering her backward so she's lying down on the couch, hands chasing shadows over her body. Ace who?
The door bursts open and they shoot apart, smacking their foreheads together with a unison "Ow!"
Wally stands abruptly. Kuki props herself up on her elbow, craning her neck behind her to see who the intruder is.
A familiar face, horrified, frozen, panting, breathing hard. Familiar dark hair, familiar dark skin. He looks from Wally to Kuki, and she scrambles upright, pushing past a confused Wally. He tries to catch her arm in his perplexity, but she pulls away.
"Ace!" she cries, but he's already seen all he needs to see, already turning, already flying out the door.
She's sitting in Ace's place, staring at a plateful of expensive, rock-hard biscuits that the classy so often eat, holding her lavender satchel like a lifeboat. Her face and hair are unmade-up, and she looks worn out. Everything is familiar, but nothing feels like home.
"So," Ace begins, and quickly finds he can't complete his sentence. Words are too hard, much less sentences. She looks up at him, up then down, back to the biscuits.
"I'm…really sorry," she says, playing with the clasp on her purse.
He doesn't say it's okay. How can he? Moreover—it's not.
"I'm not angry," he offers hollowly. She nods. She knows he's not angry. He was angry for a while, but it had been washed away and replaced by hurt. "And I don't want an apology. Just an explanation."
She shakes her head this time, robotic, brushing her long sheet of ebony hair back over her shoulders. "I can't give you that."
He moves a little closer. Their knees are almost touching now. She flinches. "Can you tell me one thing?"
"Maybe." She purses her lips, a little less atoned and a little more offensive.
"I just want to know—" he clears his throat, embarrassed, of all things, "If you really meant all that stuff you said back in high school."
"What stuff?"
"That you—you loved me. I thought…"
She interrupts him, flaring up all of a sudden. "Oh, Ace, I was sixteen and stupid then! You can't expect me to hold to those things. I swore I would find a real unicorn by the time I was twenty-five, too. I mean, did you think we would get married, or something-?" She falters when she looks into his face and realizes that maybe he did think that.
He freezes when he feels her gaze. "Yeah—that would be dumb, I guess," he mutters, very quietly.
Uncomfortably, she continues. "Look," she says, "I'm sorry I had to do it behind your back. But I love Wally now. And if you wanted me to be happy now…you'd let me go."
"What do you see in him?" Ace says desperately. He's saying things now, things he's not sure of. "What does he have that I don't? He can't love you the way I love you, Kooks—the way I always will."
"I still love you. I'm just not…in love with you anymore."
"If you love me like you say you do, you'd stay."
She stands up then, discomforted by both his proximity and his pleading. "I can't do that." She's starting toward the door. Turning away.
He's still sitting, looking down at the stain on his couch. He's not crying, but he looks very alone, like he's chasing a lost cause.
"You'll find someone amazing," she promises. "Better than me. We're just not…right for each other, right?"
She's leaving him. She's going back. Back to him. Back to Wally.
He can't stop her.
He pauses. "Right," he says finally, giving in, trying for a smile.
I didn't really do this for a lot of reviews. I'm pretty sure this ficlet isn't going to get much, because it isn't mushy and gooey, and people love romance. But I still felt as though I left 'The L Word' hanging, and it needed a short follow-up. And I think Ace and Kuki need a little history.
Much love,
Alli
