Hey everybody. Thanks for checking out my story. Some of you may recognize this story's title and summary. You are not crazy, this is a reboot. I wrote the bulk of this story under an old account when I was around 14-15 years old. I did it mostly for fun then, but now I find myself wanting to pursue a career in writing. The reasons for re-tackling this story are twofold: 1) I've tried re-reading the story and I simply can't get through it. I feel like it's poorly written and I could make it better. 2) In order to truly see if I have the skill to do this, I think one of the better ways to assess myself is by trying to improve the longest piece of finished work I've ever done (which this is). So to new readers: I sincerely hope you enjoy. To old readers: I'd like you to give me a shot. This won't be a paint by numbers retread. The core storyline and some key moments will be left unchanged, but I will be actively trying to improve upon the original in story content as well as technical skill.

If you could find the time to leave a review it would be insanely helpful to me. You have no idea how much a nice comment (or even a constructive negative one) will motivate me. Regardless though, I'll be updating rather frequently so please check back often. Most importantly though, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I started writing the original around the time season two was airing. As Marissa was still on the show I wrote the story with her among the characters. For the sake of the storyline, I'm acting as if season three ended with Marissa going to stay with her Dad and therefore cutting the show's storyline of Volcheck manslaughter.

Things We Cannot Change

Chapter One: The King is Gone

The blaring siren of the alarm clock was a jarring and unwelcome push back into reality. Ryan Atwood stretched across his king sized bed to slap the clock a few times until the shrieking cry ended. He took a moment to fully rouse himself from the grips of sleep and finally forced himself to sit on the edge of the mattress. He rubbed his eyes and went through the torturous daily ritual of remembering the emptiness he felt inside. He had a great house with everything he could want, a burgeoning construction company he co-owned and a small but close group of loyal friends. Even so, Ryan couldn't help but look back at the happiest times in his life. Time spent in the California poolhouse of a perfect family who took a shot on him. Long, exhausting talks with the comic loving loner who would become more like a brother than his own flesh and blood. The quiet loving moments with the girl next door; The tall soft featured woman he thought would be the love of his life.

It wasn't so much the distance that drove them apart as it was their changing personalities. Ryan stayed west to follow in Sandy's Berkeley footsteps before eventually landing in Nevada as Marissa headed an ocean away to be with her Father. They talked everyday for the first few months, both making promises that they wouldn't let what they had just die. But time wore on and they both adjusted to their new lives without each other. Marissa decided all they were doing was holding each other back. They had one last long conversation one night and that was the last time they spoke. Nearly ten years had passed since Ryan heard her voice, but a part of him never truly left Marissa's side. The few relationships he pushed himself into never lasted very long or meant anything real. Work became his great love and Atwood-Stanley Construction was turning a corner. He forced himself into the shower and hoped success would fulfill him at last.

Ryan grabbed his coffee mug, cell phone and a perfectly smeared bagle on the way out the door. He was running so late the ringing of his cell phone barely registered to him. He propped his belongings on the top of his BMW and grabbed his phone. The name on the screen stopped him dead in his tracks. It wasn't as if he had totally broken contact with his former life, it had been at least a year though and it was odd to get a call from Kirsten Cohen so early in the morning.

"Wow, I didn't think they started the day until noon in Newpsieville. How are you Kirsten?"

Ryan waited for a sarcastic comeback that never came. Instead he heard a light sniffling sound on the other end. Kirsten's usual strong and assertive voice was replaced with a shaky sob.

"Ryan... I'm sorry. I've been staring at the phone for an hour trying to work up the nerve to call. God, I'm sorry."

Ryan had only seen his surrogate Mother cry once, the day they sent her away to rehab. Her face contorting in a mask of shame and sadness had never left his memory. Just hearing her voice breaking in hurt killed him inside.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Kirsten. What's wrong?"

"I hate to have to tell you this over the phone," she said. Once again the line went silent for a second. Kirsten took a deep breath before continuing, "Sandy was coming home from work last night and there was an...There was an accident. The Hospital called me in this morning to identify him. He didn't make it."

For a moment he felt nothing. He glanced around his neighborhood for a second, waiting for his brain to fully process what he heard. All of a sudden he felt as if all the air in his lungs was knocked out and he fell to his knees. He felt dizzy with grief and there were already tears building in his eyes. He reached down to pick up his phone and tried to find the words to say.

"Kirsten I am so sorry," was all that came to him. What could he say that would make her pain go away. "What can I do?"

"I'd like you to be here if you could. Seth and I will need help getting through this. Not to mention funeral planning."

"Oh my God, Seth. How is he handling it?" Ryan said. Ryan was probably closer to Seth than anyone from his Newport years, but they still hadn't spoken more than 3 times in the past couple years. Ryan still felt guilty he hadn't done more to keep their friendship strong.

"You're the first person I called. I don't know why... I figured you would take it better. I need to look my son in the eye when I tell him."

"I wanna be there with you," Ryan said, "I don't want you doing this alone."

"Okay, thank you.. I'm gonna be on the next flight to New York. Meet you there?"

"Yeah. I have to run by my office and tell my partner I'll be out, but I'll meet you out there tonight."

"Thank you Ryan. I love you."

"Love you too."

Ryan picked himself up from the floor and leaned on the side of his car. Even now the reality of the situation was evading him. Sanford Cohen, angel of mercy, architect of the man he had become was gone. He tried to remember the last time he had seen his face or heard his voice. He cursed himself for letting the people he love drift away from him. Now he had to face his old friend and deliver the worst news.

The five hours spent in the plane felt like a lifetime to Ryan. Suspended above the earth with nothing but time and silence caused him endlessly ponder how he would break the news to Seth. A man he hadn't seen in over a year, a man who he told absolutely everything to. A man who was there to comfort him through every low his life handed to him. He could only hope he could be there for him now.

It was early evening in New York City when Ryan finally made his way off of the plane. He could see the sun had already fallen halfway down the sky, it's light twinkling along the glass of the city skyline. He grabbed his bag and began to exit the airport, only stopping when he saw her out of the corner of his eye. Kirsten sat on a bench across the room, her bag carelessly thrown to the floor. Still beautiful, as Ryan always thought she was, but there was a scary paleness to her. It was as if last night's news had sucked the life out of her. She had her hair haphazardly up in a pony tail and her sparkling blue eyes looked a little dimmer than he remembered. She stood to greet him and Ryan smiled as he tried to hide his heartache. She looked absoutely drained and it was unbearable to see her like this.

"Thank you for coming Ryan, I don't know how I could have come alone."

"Of course," he said. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, "I want to be here."

Their embrace lasted a moment before they broke away and started walking out of the airport. Ryan hailed a cab outside the building and Kirsten had to check her phone to remember Seth's address. The ride lasted 15 minutes, but now they both wish the long journey hadn't ended so quickly after all. Everything they had tried to push aside, everything they tried to ignore for the last few hours came rushing back into focus. The elevator up to the 7th floor of the apartment building was a rocket train in their eyes. Down the hall they walked, trying to form the words they would need to comfort Seth.

The golden ornaments on the door read '704'. Kirsten once again looked to her phone to make sure, as she couldn't hold the memory long enough anymore. A silent nod in Ryan's direction was all he need to know that it was time. No more travel, no more worrying and no more stalling. The moment they had come to fear the most was finally upon them and there was only one thing left to do.

(Knock, Knock)

That concludes chapter one. Thank you again for reading, I sincerely appreciate it. Please drop a review if you have a second and hopefully you'll come back for the continuing saga. Take care.