IF YOU ONLY KNEW:
The rising sun's first rays gleamed through the window and onto the two sleeping figures. Namor opened a bleary eye at the orange sun.
Morning already.
He pushed himself in a sitting position, running a hand through his messy hair. Taking the time to stretch and yawn he turned to see his companion still hugging his pillow, snoring quietly. Namor recalled that nights events and smirked, pleased with himself.
He pushed himself softly from the bed so as to not wake Johnny.
He walked to the window and placed his hands on the windowsill. Gazing through the glass, he felt a wave of peace sweep over him, closing his eyes in content. This feeling was always the strongest when he was with Johnny.
He began to think of how good he felt being with him and what the future will bring whether they are with each other or not. How will things play out? When will the others come to realize? But those are questions to be answered at a later date, he thought, bowing his head.
Johnny's eyes slowly opened. He sat up sleepily from the bed yawning, the blanket still draped over his waist. Looking at namor's strong back he couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking.
"You leaving already?" Johnny enquired at namor's still turned back, smirking, half asleep.
Namor, awaking from his revere, turned back to his lover.
He walked over to the bed and climbed into it. Then crawled over to his partner and planted a soft kiss on Johnny's waiting lips. He loved kissing him, every time it was new and forbidden. He felt Johnny smile against his lips and smiled in return pushing their lips harder together, deepening the kiss. Savoring the kiss they parted, Foreheads touching in an affectionate cat like rub.
Namor raised a hand to touch Johnny's soft cheek, his fingers trailing down his jaw letting them linger as he let his hand drop. Namor smile as Johnny gave him a toothy grin.
The prince walked to the other side of the room to retrieve his black pants and belt from the floor where he had tossed them last night in his hast. He again recalled the memory in his head, fingering the slick material.
Behind him Johnny did not share his enthusiasm…his mind was somewhere else.
Johnny's expression was one of sadness.
Every time they parted ways Johnny was always disappointed to see him go. Wishing he could stay just a little longer. He sighed mentally and frowned, feeling a familiar ach in his chest like the times before. He leaned against the headboard then propped his leg up to rest his elbow on his knee. Toying with the end of the sheet he let his mind wander.
Namor slipped his pants on and placed his belt in the correct position. He turned searching the ground for his missing shirt. His gaze fell on Johnny's sad expression and felt a pang of sadness also at leaving. He knew too well what his partner was feeling and it hurt him to be the cause of his pain.
Johnny realized namor wasn't making any more rustling noises and looked up to see what he was doing.
His eyes caught namor's blue ones in understanding.
Johnny let the fabric he was playing with fall from his fingers and smiled slightly at being caught in such a vulnerable state. He chuckled lightly.
"It's not fair." he laughed as his lips formed a hard line, he looked up at namor. "Is it stupid for me to want you to stay so badly?" Johnny said with a defeated shrug.
Namor gazed at him knowingly.
"Why does this have to be so hard for us? I hate seeing you leave every time. It makes me think it'll always be the last time I see you. I'm tired of being afraid everyone will find out, and just not for me, for you and your kingdom... What would they think?" Johnny asked looking intently at namor, breathing irregularly.
"What would they do to you?" Johnny choked, clutching a wad of the dark green blanket in his hand.
Namor looked away, eyebrows furrowed, not wanting to ever think of what might happen if his kingdom found out. Eloping with a surface dweller is to be an act of betrayal and Johnny did not need to know that.
Namor looked back at Johnny's angry eyes. He breathed out, turning his eyes back to the floor.
"It is no use to think about things that have yet to happen and if they ever will. Our time together is our business and no one else's." Namor went over to the bed again and placed his hands firmly on the bedposts. Taking Johnny's chin in his hand he directed his light blue eyes toward his dark ones.
"I only want to be with you… is that not enough?" namor said, already knowing the answer. Johnny nodded his head in affirmation.
Namor let go of Johnny's chin, swept his hand up his jaw and through his golden hair, tousling it playfully. Smirking he pulled his concealed shirt from under the cover and swung it over his shoulder. Johnny's head bowed from the rough play, he pouted a little then smiled brightly from under his now messier hair. He pushed his hair back from his eyes with a lazy hand.
Johnny and namor both winced as the sun was beginning to fully rise, momentarily blinding them.
It brought them back to reality, knowing their time together was indeed limited and that they would have to mold back into the roles life had bestowed upon them. It is all too clear that life is not a fairytale and hardships have to be faced. When the day comes they will have to face their own dilemma…they will be ready.
Their playful smiles quickly turned into ones of grim acknowledgment.
Johnny looked at namor's sun tinted face, looking out the window, blank in concentration. His wrist cuffs, clutched in his left hand, gleamed in the sunlight…he never looked more regal.
"Go" Johnny said, almost harsh, as namor turned his head to look at him.
It's hard to let go of the one you love the most. Johnny knew if namor stayed any longer he would not be able to let him go.
Namor understood this. He thought the sunrise suited Johnny well and made him look even more beautiful.
Namor nodded respectfully. Pulling his shirt on then clicking his wrist cuffs into place, he turned back to Johnny.
They stared at each other for a few moments, silently saying goodbye.
Namor turned and opened the glass doors, letting the sun bath him in its golden aura. He looked back at Johnny, still sitting in the bed they shared.
Johnny looked at namor longingly, his legs now drawn near his chest with both elbows wresting on his knees. He looked lonely, cast in namor's shadow, and that is not what he wanted for the lover of a prince. For now they will both have to suffer silently, until the next time will come for them to be together.
He hoped he could give him better.
Namor swiftly turned and jumped from the balcony, letting his wings carry him from Johnny to the sea. He will sorely miss his friend but will look forward to holding him again. Namor flew through the cool morning air and wished for Johnny's safety and happiness.
Johnny sat in the bed and stared at the spot where the prince once stood. His eyes lowered in sadness to see him gone.
Standing from the warm bed he wrapped the blanket around his waist and went to the window.
The morning sky was still slightly dark and dreary, but the sun makes quick work of turning the gray into light blue. His eyes roamed the sky feeling heavy, sleep having nothing to do with it.
The morning breeze brushed his skin.
Johnny closed his eyes and let it cool his face, pretending it was namor's own cool hand brushing his cheek. He leaned into the touch, his eyes closing in content bliss for a few moments. Calm realization and grief overtook him as he remembered where he was and that this was not namor.
He opened his eyes to no one.
He silently cursed their positions in the world, stepping back from the window, he ripped the curtains closed.