Loop de Loop
Disclaimer: I own only the clothes on my back…which I bought with a gift card.
Summary: "The way you've been messing around with space time jutsu you're either going to a) blow yourself up or b) wind up stranded in the past. Which is why we need a code word like loop de loop so if that ever happens everyone knows what's up." Tobirama stared at his brother. "Not the stupidest thing you've ever said, but it's up there."
Arc 1: Sakura
Chapter 1: Kakashi Gets a Roommate
The rumors were running rampant among Konoha's elite. Someone, though no one knew for sure who, had used the loop de loop code word.
"I don't get it." Yuuhi Kurenai sipped elegantly from her sake. "I've never heard of loop de loop."
"That's because you just became a full jounin. You're only read in after you've spent a year as a full jounin or you take on a gennin team, whichever comes first." Asuma's fingers twitched around a cigarette. Fortunately for Kakashi's nose and lungs this was a no smoking bar. Or maybe not so fortunate given that he had specifically picked this location. Kurenai and Asuma had been the ones to decide to tag along. Kakashi turned another page of his Icha Icha novel as he listened to his comrades' conversation.
"In that case I'll be read in before the month's end, might as well tell me what you can."
"Alright. But I warn you, you're going to think it's stupid. Loop de loop was put into effect by the Niidaime at the beginning of his tenure as Hokage but I heard it was his honorable older brother that coined the term. Basically, it's meant to denote a shinobi who's found themselves in a…unexplainable position."
Kurenai's curiosity over took her as she leaned forward to better hear Asuma's soft words.
"How unexplainable?" Asuma gave her a wry grin.
"Time travel, time loops, parallel universes, alternate—" Kurenai whacked Asuma on the arm, a deadly scowl marring her face. "Nice joke Sarutobi, you really had me going."
"Maah, poor Asuma-san is telling the truth Kurenai-san." Kurenai's scowl turned into an expression of bafflement as she catalogued Kakashi and Asuma's body language for signs of duplicity and finding none.
"But, but that's absolutely ridiculous! There's no way! It's impossible!"
"As impossible as summoning a Shinigami to steal away souls in battle? Or resurrection techniques?" Kakashi asked carefully, his lazy eye wandering the page of his novel more out of habit than any attempt at comprehending his reading material. "Such jutsu may seem fantastical, but they do exist. Really, it's because these instances are so rare that someone claiming the loop de loop is such a big deal."
"Has a loop de loop ever happened before?"
"Sensei ended up five minutes in the past once while he was developing his hiraishin. There were two of him at the same time for that particular loop de loop, I don't know of any other. While Kurenai mulled over his words Asuma shifted the conversation in a different direction.
"Aren't you supposed to be at the Tower Kakashi? You were summoned almost an hour ago."
"I'm not exactly known for my punctuality, Asuma-san."
"Yeah, but an hour's pushing it for a meeting with the Hokage, don't you think?"
Kakashi shrugged. "The summons wasn't urgent and I'm not allowed back on duty for another two days, it can't be that important."
A quick wave of angry chakra was the only warning the shinobi inside the bar had before the door to the main entrance was pulled off its hinges. A kunoichi colored pink and red marched through the door and straight to the table Asuma, Kurenai, and Kakashi were sharing. Now, in Kakashi's opinion, it was one thing for an angry stranger to be confrontational. It was expected really, what with his shinobi lifestyle and his at times deliberately obnoxious persona. But it was another thing entirely for an angry stranger to invade his personal bubble. Kakashi felt quite uncomfortable with the angry kunoichi's face quite literally three inches from his own. The only thing that stopped him from attacking her was the lack of killing intent and the fact that if she was confident enough to invade Sharingan no Kakashi's personal bubble she was probably quite skilled.
"I am so sick of waiting for you to show up! Would it have killed you to be on time today? Let's go, I'm too tired to put up with any more crap today!"
"I'm sorry kunoichi-san." Asuma's chakra blade had replaced the unlit cigarette in his hand and Kurenai was in a ready position. "I don't believe we know you."
The young woman's green eyes quickly flit over the three tense shinobi. She exhaled, reigning in her angry chakra, and took a few steps out of the range of Kakashi's personal bubble. She lifted her right arm and fist into a vertical defensive block and lightly tapped the flat of her left hand against her right elbow twice. "Loop de loop. Hokage-sama says I'm staying with you until this crap is figured out, Kakashi-sensei. Now I'm hungry and tired and I haven't bathed in a week so let's go!"
A pit of horror filled Kakashi's gut. Sensei!? Loop de loop!? He didn't want to be involved even tangentially in any loop de loop! But first…
"Sensei? I'm not a sensei!"
"You will be at the end of the month." The young woman replied matter of factly as she grabbed his arm and pulled him out of his chair with a strength beyond the norm for a kunoichi her size. "I would have gone straight to your apartment but your security measure are different from what you use in the future and I didn't want to accidently blow the building up so I need you to let me in. And—"
"I don't want you living in my apartment!" Kakashi wailed. What about his need for privacy? And the fact he didn't know anything about this girl aside from their future teacher-student relationship. Wasn't there some law against quartering soldiers within Konoha's walls?
"Well tough, I don't want to be six years in the past! Ugh! This is all Naruto's fault! Him and that stupid fuinjutsu!"
Kakashi looked back desperately at Asuma and Kurenai but they were still too shocked to be of any use in rescuing him from the extremely tight grip the pink haired girl held him in.