Ok, so this is my first fanfic I really hope you like it! Please review if you liked it or if there is something you wish to change or add. I am really interested in hearing your ideas! :P And if you are a vampire lover just like me, don't worry, there will be lots of vampires in my story ;P

Disclaimer: I am not Stephanenie Meyer! ok?! Happy?! (though I am Stephanie M. xD)

It was a long night, the longest and loneliest night I ever had. My chest was burning with pain and a deep hole took over my heart's place. Everything felt so hollow, so empty without…him.

"Bella, are you ready honey?" Charlie asked from outside my room.

I really don't want to go. I don't want to say…I will NOT even dare to think about saying a goodbye! But I can't stay here and just pretend nothing has happened. As painful as it is, I have to put my armor on and somehow pass the mourning.

My eyes felt on fire from all the sleepless hours and all the tears I shed. I whipped one more with the back of my hand and with that one tear I vowed to never give out my heart again, if there was a heart left to give. He took it all, my sanity, my love; he was my life, the very core of my existence. Now I have to be strong and face the world even when I feel like crumbling into pieces. I have to be strong! I will not surrender to the pain.

So, I stood in front of the mirror, not recognizing the fragile girl in black with deep sad eyes and pale skin staring back at me, and put on my shield, my mask.

"Yes, let's go" I sighed.

The ride to the church was quiet; Charlie didn't have the guts or the will to try to talk with me. This gave me time to think a little, to sink on my happy memories that now seemed so unreal, as if the past seven months were only a dream.

I remember the first time he told me he loved me. His melodious voice penetrated in me so deeply that the world around us faded away.

The first time his warm and soft lips touched mine, my heart raced with such a force that I thought it would come out of my chest.

I remember his deep, loving green eyes staring directly into my soul; the feel of his soft bronze hair running through my fingers; the electricity that raced in my body as a response to his touch.

I feel like such an idiot for wasting the time I had with him with senseless fights! I f only I'd known the kiss of death was so close.

But even when my suffering is so profound there's a strange feeling of uneasiness wanting to take part of me. And I'm afraid that if I listen to it, even if just for a second, I'll end up yet more broken than what I already am. –

"Bella?" Charlie asked warily, taking me back from my thoughts.

I just stared at him, restraining my tears to come out.

"Honey, are you sure you want to be here?"

"Yes"

Except for the fact that want was not the exact word to describe my feelings, need was a little more adequate.

As soon as we entered the church, every pair of eyes was fixed on me. I simply ignored them and sat down with my dad at the last row. I couldn't be in the front, too much proximity with the wooden closed caskets. I'm afraid that if I did reality would strike me and there would be no way out from the recklessness of despair.

"Let us all vow our heads and pray" the preacher man said- "Heavenly Father take and guard the souls of Edward and Elizabeth Masen, and their son Edward Anthony Masen…"

The trumpets tuned in the saddest song I ever heard, while the people lined up to say their goodbyes, everyone but me.

I was frozen in my place; I couldn't move an inch from where I was. I just kept waiting to wake from this dream, from this nightmare, but I can't. I can't wake up!

Jessica, Angela, Mike, Ben even Lauren looked at me with pity planted in their eyes.

I couldn't be there anymore so I decided to go outside and take a deep breath of fresh air. I needed to do this to be strong, because I knew that I was running out of time, and soon the…funeral…would be over, and I would miss my last chance.

Without any destination I started wandering around the forest. Remembering, though painful as it was, kept me from accepting the fact that he was gone, and that he would never come back. Perhaps postponing the moment where I'll accept it turned me a little masochistic, but I didn't care.

It had been a normal Saturday morning, like every other. I remember it clearly, as if it had been yesterday and not two weeks ago. I woke up a little too early so I decided to take a long, relaxing bath. Charlie had spent the whole night in the hospital, being a surgeon took most of his time. As soon as I finished my bath I put on some grey sweatpants and a t-shirt. I was really excited about that day in particular; Edward was supposed to take me and his family to some special meadow he found while hiking, to have a picnic under the sun, since the weather man announced that it was going to be a sunny day in Forks. I was really anxious to spend time with him and his family, and we were going in the jeep so I didn't have to worry about hiking. I went down to the kitchen to have breakfast and then decided to read the newspaper. That's when I saw it. "TERRIBLE FIRE MURDERS FAMILY" was the headline of the newspaper, underneath it was a picture of what was left of the beautiful, once white and elegant house. Edward's house. I couldn't believe my eyes at that point. "Body's burned beyond dental recognition" "cause: unknown". How could it be possible?!

Now I'm here, standing in the middle of the forest, remembering his touch, his strength, his crooked smile.

I knew I had to go back, so I couldn't go far deep in the woods. I realized I've changed my path a few feet since I ended up in the back part of the church. I started walking towards the front when I saw them. Three police man talking under a wooden shelter. I don't know why I felt the sudden urgency, the sudden need to know what they were talking about, but it burned through my veins, as if there was something crucial I was missing. I leaned closer, hiding myself behind one of the columns, and as I listened to them my heart became ecstatic as a rush of adrenaline raced throughout my body; I thought they were going to listen to my suddenly alive heart.

There was now something in me, screaming from every cell in my body. Hope.

Edward, the reason of my existence, might still be alive.

So what do you think? Please review! XoXo..Pi2!