I was staring outside the window; the rain was thrashing down wildly against the windows of my room. I began to contemplate my life, and all that had brought me to this moment in time. Life. What life? I was only ever existing and not living. I had nothing to live for, no one to love, and no one to help me when I needed someone. There was no one to bring me back to life. And I needed someone; I needed someone so much, especially after the loss of my parents, especially after I was uprooted from my home to live with strangers on the other side of the country. I was a mere shell of a person, no soul, and no emotions. I felt nothing. Even the pain was gone. I had just become an empty shell. My tears had run dry and I had a headache from all the pain I had suffered, and from all my own screams during the night. I had had enough. This 'life' was no longer worth it. Or so I thought.

FLASHBACK

"Edward, you need to try and get over this. Wallowing around in self-pity is not helping. Your parents wouldn't have wanted you to suffer like this", Carlisle exclaimed in my ear, the worry etched on his face.

" You don't know what my parents would want, you didn't know them." I stared back, anger evident in my features.

" Son, please calm down and think rationally about this. We love you", Esme pleaded.

"I'm not your son Esme", and with that I stormed out of the house, away from the two strangers who knew nothing about my parents, yet knew exactly what my parents would say. They were right in every way of course, but I couldn't go on like that. Yes, I couldn't wallow around in self-pity all day any longer. I needed to end this; I had go to the meadow in a bid to end my life. If I was going to die tonight, then the last thing I would see would be something beautiful, a far cry from my own life, where I was in just an ugly situation.

I ran out into the heavy storm and rushed into my Volvo, the one thing I had left back from my home. All my memories of my life with my parents had perished in the fire. I played Claire de Lune over and over again until I reached the small path that would lead me ultimately, to my young death. Death. It was a beautiful word, so I saw it. I thought that up against 'depressing life', it was better, it was shorter, a quick end to all the pain, an escape route. I rummaged around through my right pocket, only to feel the tip of a shiny penknife, beautiful and glistening as I saw it in the rain. I turnt around to my Volvo and whispered goodbye, goodbye to all the memories I had, goodbye to the dozen or so speeding tickets I had caught riding that beauty too. And so slowly, I walked towards my impending fate in the meadow, like a funeral march, the black clothes, and the solemn faces of Carlisle and Esme amongst my thoughts.

The rain soaked through my shirt, and dampened my bronze hair. The raindrops fell down my face like tears. It felt new to feel tear drops fall down on my skin. I stopped crying along time ago. I settled into the green grass and began to think of what I was about to do. How did I let it get this far? I knew my parents would be screaming down at me from wherever they were right now, if they could see me. But I didn't care; they could ground me in the after life.

I began to think to the month just before their death, when everything was perfect. I was popular and happy, a straight A student, perfect parents, perfect friends, even the perfect girlfriend, Tanya. Our relationship was by no means perfect and I didn't love her if I truly thought about it, but I was leading the perfect life, she seemed right for me at the time, until she cheated. I was devastated and confronted her myself but she blamed me, she felt lonely whenever I ran off with my friends to play baseball across the country. She said she missed me and made me think that her cheating was my own fault. I was too swayed by my peers that I believed her, and ran home to bake for her; I knew how she loved my mom's secret cupcake recipe. I thought that maybe if I made some for her and went to her begging for forgiveness, then maybe she would take me back. And maybe we could be happy again, but it only made things worst. Long story short, they caught on fire after I became distracted and had to run out of the house to get something whilst my parents were asleep. Then the fire started.

And now here I am, dying inside because of cupcakes and a girl called Tanya, who I didn't even love.

I stared at the small weaponry I was holding.

Then I held out my wrist.

"No! Wait, stop!" someone yelled from a distance.

I flinched and searched around the empty meadow.

"Who's there?" I asked. "Show yourself!"

A slim silhouette appeared behind the rows of dark trees. I carefully eyed this figure. It was a girl who seemed to be around my age.

"Who are you?" I asked.

The rain started to ease down a little. A small burst of sunlight came through the trees, and I could finally see her. There was no obvious beauty there in her features, yet the innocence in her face appealed to me in ways unimaginable. Her cheeks blushed a beautiful pink as she noticed me gazing at her through the sunlight, and her big doe like brown eyes held mine captive.

"I would consider myself as your guardian," she replied in a timid voice.

"A guardian? Guardian angel, perhaps?" I questioned.

" No. I'm not beautiful enough to be considered an angel," she let out a small giggle. "I'm just a person and I've been watching you, and I am going to put this as plainly as I can, but please don't do this," she pleaded.

"Watching me? Since when?"

"For the last couple of months," she answered. "I've watched you sleep a couple of times too. It was quite hilarious actually, imagine me trying to sneak out of the house trying not to disturb a heavily snoring Charlie and then climbing up to your window, and everyone said I was a klutz. Actually, I did bruise my self pretty badly once, but it was just a bruise thanks to the beautiful rose bushes Esme planted beneath your window".

I should probably have been quite disturbed at the fact that she had seen me sleep several times, but strangely enough it gave me some kind of comfort, and I could also see that she tended to speak a little too much when she was nervous, so all I could really reply back to her with was, " You've watched me sleep?"

"Yes I like watching you sleep. It's er.. kind of fascinating to me," and again she blushed.

"I don't see any reason why someone would do that."

"Well you've always looked so pained and tormented when I've seen you awake, I wanted to see you asleep, and you look so peaceful when you are dreaming, happy, smiling almost. I'm sorry if I have scared you, but I worry about you. You're so beautiful Edward, you've just been put in an ugly situation".

"I'm not scared of you." I whispered.

"You really shouldn't have said that." She laughed.

" And why not?" I questioned, half amused with her reply.

"Because you don't know me. I am a stranger to you Edward. I don't know why you are listening to me at all. I half expected for you to just carry on with what you were about to do once I had disturbed you, but you've stopped. Why did you stop Edward? Did you stop for me? I don't want you to stop for me. I want you to stop for you", she wailed.

" I don't know. What's your name?" I asked out of the blue.

"Bella Swan".

"Well Miss Swan, I don't think I should tell you until you've told me why you have been following me around", I suddenly grew quite irritated with the situation. I had arrived to the meadow with a plan. Death was supposed to be quick, not long and agitating, and all of a sudden this girl just comes out from absolutely nowhere and my hand is still clutching that knife, as far away from my body as possible.

" I'm fairly new here Edward. I just moved here from Phoenix, Arizona two months ago. From the moment I saw you across the road one day, I couldn't sop thinking about the obvious sadness in your eyes. I thought you looked so handsome, but your eyes were so dark. They are like Emeralds Edward, but the sparkle is nowhere in sight. I grew interested in you, I will admit. You were so oblivious to your surroundings. You were almost run over by an old lady that day! You walked across the road and didn't even look left and right. You obviously didn't care. But for some reason Edward, I cared. I do care for you, greatly". I was surprised by the bout of emotion she spoke with.

"Don't." I stared down at the knife in my hand. "I have nothing to live for Bella. If you say you have been following me and watching me so intently as you have, then you should have seen that by now."

"Edward, you do have something to live for. Carlisle is a great man, Edward, so caring and compassionate, and Esme is one of the most loving people I have ever met. They will never replace your parents Edward, but can't you accept that they are trying to make things better for you. They care about you. And what about me? Are you seriously saying that I have just wasted two whole months of my life trying to save someone I hardly know, only for them to carry on and kill themselves anyway?" she asked.

"You shouldn't have wasted your time", and with that my hand begun to shake.

"Please Edward. Don't do this. Be happy. Live. Live for me Edward.", she came closer to me, and held her hand over the blade. "There are millions of opportunities for you to take. And I know that you're a smart guy, Edward. I know you want to be a doctor someday, like your father was. Imagine the faces of all those people that you could save some day Edward. Wouldn't that be great?" she grew brighter by the second, her grip firmly placed on my hand over the blade.

"Bella, what If I need saving for myself?" I asked.

"Then let me save you," she looked up at me, and from that moment I knew that everything she had said had made perfect sense. I needed saving, and I wanted her to save me, but instead I saved myself by letting her in. I let go of the blade and it dropped into the rain soaked grass. There was no turning back now. I had made my decision. I was going to live, for my parents and for Bella, but most importantly for myself. Bella was just the bonus.

END OF FLASHBACK

So that was lead me to this very moment. I turnt around, away from the window and into my bed, taking my beautiful wife in my arms. I held my hand over her swollen belly, thinking thoughts of the future with our little girl who would hopefully grow up to have her mother's doe like brown eyes. All of a sudden she began to stir in my arms.

"Baby it's just me. Go back to sleep", I kissed her hair.

"Ok. Goodnight Edward, I love you", I heard.

"I love you too Bella".

Finally, my life made sense again, thanks to Bella – the one who brought me back to life.

This is my first story so please review! It would be much appreciated. Thanks.