My Midnight Star


Summary: 'Of all the clubs in the city, she walked into mine…' Mac and Stella in the club after he plays. Her first time seeing him, but not the last. Fluffy one shot (Mac/Stella)

Disclaimer: This is a piece of fan fiction. It is written for pleasure and not for profit. The characters of CSI New York and any other regular cast and supporting cast members all belong to CBS, Paramount & Jerry Bruckheimer and Anthony Zuiker. All other characters are my own. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental.

The case wasn't an especially difficult one, it was just his mood. Mac prided himself on not being a sulker, at least that's what he told himself and hoped others believed it. He knew Stella saw right through him and that was sometimes infuriating. She was able to get under his skin more than most – in a good and a bad way. Her perception into his soul, especially when he was trying to keep himself closed off, unnerved him. But sometimes they would just but heads about protocol; her usually winning; him wandering off to sulk. She would never say I told you so and that just made it worse.

Today was one of those days. He slumped down in his chair and let out heavy sigh. It was Wednesday. He always played on Wednesday's. Something to look forward to. He had asked her on a few occasions; more like mentioned it in passing but she never came; finally he just gave up, knowing she either couldn't be bothered or just didn't want to see him play. But he needed her in his life; it was just hard for him to admit. When he was down, her smile would cheer him up. When he was angry; a kind word would calm down. She was the perfect compliment to him – why couldn't he make himself tell her?

"I'm too stubborn," he lamented. Funny, that's what she told me earlier. When this all started. He closed his eyes and quickly replayed the events that led him to this tormented moment.

A FEW HOURS EARLIER

"You need to think about what you're saying!" Mac snapped at the shivering suspect before him. "I don't care where you were…just tell me the truth!"

"But I am…she believes me."

Mac looked at Stella and frowned. "A word please."

"You seriously don't believe him? We have nothing…"

"He was there. We have motive and we found the murder weapon in his home," Mac stated.

"Mac, he lives on the street. I can't believe you're being so cold about this."

"Just because someone is down and out on their luck doesn't mean…" his voice trailed off.

"Are you always this stubborn?" Stella asked, her arms crossed in frustration.

"Yes," Mac told her firmly. "It's what keeps me…"

"Alone?" Stella shot back.

Mac looked at her in surprise.

"I'm sorry," she started.

"No, I don't think you are," he frowned.

"Well you gave one man back his live…what about the other?" Stella countered.

Mac looked at her and both seemed to be held in time, squaring off in anger. "Fine," Mac finally resigned. "You deal with this."

"Mac…" she started.

"You know better…you fix this mess."

Mac finally took his leave and then let Stella finish the rest of the interrogation. She only offered a small curse and then went back to see Ryan March; their innocent suspect.

The rest of the day followed suit; him snapping at the staff for no reason and then feeling guilty because he knew it wasn't them. It was him. He always prided himself on be private and closed off; but Stella challenged those boundaries, tried to break down his walls; hoping to get a small glimpse inside. And when he didn't let her; she found a way and just tried harder.

He looked at the clock and frowned. If he stayed longer he would just drown himself in his sorrow and misery. So he finally pushed himself up and then slowly got his coat and walked into the busy hallway. He noticed Stella at the end talking with another male co-worker and frowned. Give it up Mac, she's way out of your league. There is no way she'd ever want more than a simple working relationship; maybe friendship with you. With that sad thought he turned his back and headed for the elevator.

XXXXXXXX

Stella noticed Mac's defeated expression and frowned. He was always so hard on himself when it came to work. She didn't mean to argue with him but sometimes his by the book approach just frustrated her and she wanted to yell at him that it was okay to show emotion. But he wouldn't cross her or even call her on it. He would just lock himself away; hiding his pain once again. He was stubborn and she hoped he'd come out of it by working so closely; but so far he hadn't. She knew tomorrow would be strained and wanted to make it up to him some way; at least a sorry, she owed him that much. But she didn't know how. There was a growing attraction but each time they tried; he would pull away, letting her think he wasn't really that interested. Maybe he's just not ready, her mind would suggest. She finally heard someone mention that it was Wednesday and that he was probably going to be playing at the club.

That's it! She smiled to herself. The other times he asked, she hadn't been available – regrettably. But tonight she was and so told herself that she would go and see him play; if for nothing else than to say sorry when he was done; hoping to at least start tomorrow off on the right foot.

XXXXXXXX

Mac reached home in a cloud of gloom. His mood hadn't improved as he hoped it would. He looked at the Guitar case in the corner and frowned. He could picture himself practicing a set with Stella sitting beside him smiling.

"Not going to happen," he sighed as he started to get changed into some regular clothes. He only dressed up for the office; when he was away from his job, he was just a regular guy; or so he liked to come across.

He ate his supper in somber silence; his mind showing him a picture of Stella sitting across from him, talking about the days events. He smiled in spite of his own misery but knew he'd never be that lucky. He blinked a few times and the image of her quickly faded; his own mind laughing at his miserable solitude. His quiet apartment, laughing at his lonely state. He finished his supper and then set about getting ready to leave for the club, his mood finally lifting a little.

He reached the club and it was quiet like he suspected. As per his routine, he looked out from the stage at the empty seats and could almost picture her there; watching and smiling at him while he played for her and her alone. But as he heard a small noise, it quickly brought him back to his solitary reality. He settled into the small chair and started to practice.

By the time the club started to fill and the rest of band members slowly arrived, his mood had lifted; but not completely. Even the laughs and jokes from the guys seemed to pass by quickly; not registering deep enough to make an impact. By the time they were about to start, Mac quickly scanned the audience as he always did, one last time; hoping to see her sitting in the crowd. But as usual, she wasn't there. And so he just started; numbly playing the music that really didn't matter to anyone else except him.

Stella rushed from the cab; offering a small curse at the accident that made her late. By the time she reached the club Mac's band had started and the place was packed. She picked a small table in the corner; the only one left for one person and settled in to watch. And as she watched him play; a whole other Mac Taylor was presented to her; one more human and approachable than the commanding figure she worked with. She hoped to make eye contact with him at least once, telling him she was there; but he never looked up, kept his eyes fixed on the Base Guitar in his hand or the band around him.

Finally the first set was up and the band said they were going to take a quick break and then be right back. Mac left his guitar on the stage and slowly wandered back for a drink.

Stella just sat at her table, making small talk with the people around her.

"You know one of the band members?" A lady beside her finally asked to which Stella nodded yes. "Which one?" He friend asked.

"Mac. He plays the base guitar," she smiled. "The one with the dark hair."

"My friend likes him," the lady smiled.

"Do you think he's seeing anyone?" The friend asked. "I mean how could he not?"

"I don't think he is," Stella said in truth. "But I'm not sure. Maybe? Sorry…"

"Well if you know him then I envy you," the friend offered lightly.

Stella offered a small smile and then went back to waiting for the next set. Enjoying the music Mac was playing for her. Of course she knew it wasn't for her alone; but through each set, she pictured herself the lone recipient in the room while he played for her. It was a selfish thought that quickly passed.

Mac quickly downed a swig of beer and then looked at his friend Andrew.

"I see one your work mates other than Messer finally showed up," Andrew said with a smile. "Pretty one too."

"What? Who?" Mac asked quickly; hoping inside it was Stella, but telling himself he wasn't that lucky.

"Dark curly hair…killer smile…in fact killer body…" his voice trialed off. "Is she seeing anyone?"

Mac hurried to the curtain and slowly pulled it back and spied Stella sitting by herself in the corner. She is here! Alone? "She's uh…" he started, his eyes never leaving her. He felt himself smile and his nervousness now starting to grow a bit. "I…" Mac tried again.

"So busted," Andrew laughed. "If you like her, you can just tell me. I mean it's pretty obvious."

"Whatever," Mac frowned as he quickly pulled away; his heart beating a bit faster. "I'm sure she's here with a date."

But as the band went back onto the stage to play; he finally made eye contact with her and she was still alone.

Stella offered a small smile to which she was rewarded with a smile in return. She heard the two women beside her make a comment and her smile grew. The fact that they liked him but he was only looking at her made her feel like the only person in the club.

The band started to play, but this time Mac's mood had lifted completely. Stella was not with a date and so he had a reason to believe that maybe she would linger afterwards so they could talk. He was so distracted with that thought that the second set was over before he could blink. The band said their thank-yous and then headed off to pack up for the night; the crowd still lingering.

Mac hurried and put his guitar away and then said bye to the rest of the band and rushed to find Stella. She was still there; the other two women still at the table beside her. Stella heard them whispering as Mac walked toward them.

But when he locked eyes with her; his heart started to beat faster. What did she think? Will she tell me I played well just to spare my feelings? Or will it be genuine? I don't think she'd lie? But maybe she would?

"Hi," he said in a soft voice.

"Hi," she replied with an inviting smile.

The other two women offered their hello's and told him what a great job they did; their obvious attention hoping for a little after practice action. Sadly for them, he only offered a polite hello and thank you and sat down beside Stella with his back to them both; ignoring them completely. Stella watched them leave with dissatisfied expressions, and felt a small twinge of victory growing inside. Like he was hers and they lost out on a wonderful man.

"Are you here alone?" Mac rushed; hoping to get past that so he could finally start to relax.

"Not any more," she smiled, to which he warmed. "I came to see you play."

"I'm glad you came," he replied; his nervous anxiety starting to come to the fore.

"Are you nervous?" She was quick to pick up.

"A little," he admitted. "Usually only Danny comes. Well that is until Lindsay started taking up all his time."

"You play very well," she praised.

"Thanks," he smiled. "I like playing. Helps me remove myself from all the frustration at work and…" his voice trailed off. He looked up at her in horror. "I didn't imply that you were part of that."

"No of course not," she teased. "That would make you human."

"I am sorry about today," he finally resigned. "Is that why you came?" He asked in defeat.

"Part of the reason," she told him in truth. "I knew you'd be here. Kinda like a captive audience," she teased. "I don't like when we argue."

"We usually don't," he added. "We are usually both mature enough to…you were right," he told her. "About March…he was innocent and…I was being thick headed. Sorry."

Stella looked at him and smiled. It was hard for him to open up and express emotion; to tell others that he was at fault or made a mistake. She knew he felt it was a sign of weakness, but in truth for him to open up to her was a new start for them both.

"I wasn't going to say I told you so," she quickly corrected him. "I just wanted to say sorry for calling you stubborn."

"But I am," he insisted. "You were right so say it."

"I told you so. There now I hope you feel better," she said playfully, making him look up at her in surprise. "You told me to say it."

"I'll have to remember that. You always do what you're told," he smiled. "Thanks for coming tonight…it means a lot to have you here, even if it was just for that."

"Do you always deflect praise with a personal insult?" She asked, making him look up at her in surprise.

"I…uh…" he started; his brain searching for the appropriate response. "How do you do that?"

"What?"

"Get inside my head so well? Force things out that I want to keep locked away?"

"Because I'm brilliant," she smiled, "and maybe it's time to start letting that emotion out."

"I can't," Mac started.

"Yes you can. You did tonight. Your music…the fact that you like to come here and put yourself out there shows you want to open up…you just need the right person to turn the right key and unlock the right door."

"But who is the right person?" Mac challenged.

"I think you know the answer to that," she countered; not giving him an easy out.

Mac looked at her with a small frown. It had been a long time since he allowed himself to feel any inner emotion toward another human being since Claire died. He told himself after her death he would lock himself away forever. But he remembered the day he removed his wedding ring and knew from then on, he would try. That was the day he started to like think about her as more than a friend. That was the day he finally wanted to try to move on; but never quite made the start he hoped for.

"I…" he started. "I thought I did but…but I am not sure…I guess it's getting late."

Stella leaned back in her chair and smiled. "Oh nice try."

"What?" He asked in quick defense.

"You…giving up this easily when one of your walls is threatened to be broken down. What are you afraid of?"

"I think you know the answer to that," he countered; giving her back the same pondering thought she gave him only minutes earlier.

"You are afraid of getting hurt again, right?"

"And what's wrong with that?" He asked in defense.

"What's wrong is that you are going to miss out on a life that is worth living."

"My life is…I'm just not that lucky."

"Mac, it's me," she smiled. "I'm here, with you…if I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't and you know that," she told him in truth. "What do you doubt?"

"Myself," he admitted sadly. "Seeing you here like this…it's great, but I'm not two years old and I know that tomorrow it…" he started only to have her lean in and kiss him on the lips.

Mac looked at her in surprise when she pulled away.

"Like I was saying," she started. "If you don't ever take a chance again, you will be missing out."

Mac looked at her in amazement. All the walls he spent so much time building, she was breaking down rapidly. A heart he thought locked away long ago; she was forcing to beat with renewed love and zeal for life. A dream he thought hopeless and futile; she was threatening to make real.

"I have been missing out," he whispered sadly. "I just don't know what to do. It's been a long time and…and I don't want to disappoint y…"

"First of all give yourself a break," she told him warmly. Her hand resting on his and playing with his fingers. "Secondly, don't put so much pressure on yourself and just enjoy the moment."

"I only know how to lock myself away," he resigned; leaning back in the chair, his hand still in hers. "But seeing you here tonight…well it does give me hope."

Stella looked at him and smiled. "See knew you had it in you."

"What?"

"A fresh start," she told him kindly.

"Well not sure about fresh but a start sounds kinda nice," he admitted. "We can start tomorrow if you'd like…"

"I guess you're busy tonight?" She lightly teased; making him look up at her in surprise.

They finally saw the bar keep give them the look and knew it was time to leave.

"I really liked your playing tonight."

"Will you come again?" Mac asked in haste as they both slowly stood up.

"Do you want me to?"

"Very much," he told her.

"Then I would love to come again," she said warmly.

"Wait for me?" Mac asked.

"What?" Stella asked quickly.

"I need to get my coat…it's backstage…I'll walk out with you," he rushed; hoping she didn't think it was a forward come-on.

"Sure," she smiled as his nervous explanation. Stella watched Mac walk past the bar keep who winked and gave him the thumbs up, to which Mac only smiled in return. She knew the question about waiting for him was about his coat but inside she also knew he meant that he wanted her to wait for him; that he wanted more but just needed time. How could she make him see that he was worth waiting for? Would he believe me?

Mac raced for his coat; his foot-speed matching his heart rate. He wanted more than anything to be the kind of man to take her in his arms and kiss her passionately; but that wasn't him. Fear of rejection still held him at bay and as he put on his coat he wondered if he'd ever be that kind of man. One part of his brain said no; the other said yes. He always wondered in the long run who would win out.

Stella had her coat on and was waiting by the door to go out when he finally reappeared. He said goodnight to the owner and pushed the door open and they were outside once again; standing close in the cool night air.

Mac turned to her with a smile; regretting that the night was over already and they were parting. He wanted to offer more but wasn't sure what she'd say so only resigned himself to that fact that this was a nice night they shared but not to look forward to more; he wasn't that fortunate

"I guess I should let you go and say goodnight," he started. "It's late."

"Midnight," she smiled.

"My Midnight Star…"

"I saw that on your case…what is it? Who is the midnight star?"

"You are," he smiled as he moved in closer; planting a soft kiss on her lips.

"What? Why?" She wondered.

"Because no matter what dark place I am in, you seem to shine brightly and I can find my way back," he told her warmly.

Stella looked at him and smiled; her heart rate starting to rise. She wrapped her arm around his neck and lowered his lips to hers once again; tasting them further and offering more. His heart rate started to rise as he wrapped one arm around her waist; holding her close, still holding his guitar with the other.

And for onlookers passing by; they would only assume it was two lovers locked in a warm embrace after a night of music and fun; never assuming they were two co-workers about to embark on a new life's journey.

Mac finally pulled away and called her a cab. "I'll see you tomorrow," he whispered warmly, his cool breath making funny trails in the night air.

"You know you will," she winked. "And every day after that. Think you can handle it?"

"More than you might know," he told her in truth. "I want more…I do but…I'm not sure how…can you help me?"

"I'd like that," she replied.

"Does that scare you?" He wondered.

"Not in the least," she admitted. "I know it scares you but with the two of us working at it together…there is nothing that will we can't handle."

Mac kissed her once more and then helped her get into the cab. He watched as it pulled way and then started for home; not even realizing he was in his place until after he had turned the light off and closed his eyes; for the first time in a long time taken into a world of happy dreams and future possibilities; all with the same person at his side. Stella – his Midnight Star.

THE END

A/N: (upate) so I made this a one shot and have decided to start a new SMACKED adventure. Watch for "Playing for Keeps" coming soon. and thanks!