"Xiaoyu..."
She gasps as he tightens his hold on a darkened bruise on her arm. He knows he is hurting her, and he doesn't want to but when she says his name, he squeezes her arm even more.
'Stop, Jin! Please...'
That's not his name. He keeps on telling her so, keeps on reminding her that the one she constantly calls for cannot love her the way he does, imprints it on her body every time they make love, and spells it inside her mouth every time he kisses her.
Yet she still does it.
She still won't stop with her attempts in trying to coax out what is no longer there.
'Jin! I know you're there! Please, stop this and come out already! I want to talk to you, Jin!'
He sneers. Foolish girl.
Jin is gone. There is only the Devil now.
'No! I know he's still there! I know because Jin won't give up! Jin won't let you take over him! He won't become a monster like you!'
He laughs.
Oh, little flower. Jin was already a monster even before he made a connection with me. If you only knew of the things he thought about you, of the things he wanted to do to you...
And he begins to tell her of all the things Jin thought of her.
All those nights when he came to your room to watch you sleep. You don't know, of course- you never did- Jin isn't stupid enough to tell you and risk you avoiding him for his disgraceful acts.
He leans towards her to lick her cheek. He could taste her hate and disgust, but he could taste no fear. She told him that she doesn't fear him because he is Jin- this made him scowl deeper. When Jin started to feed him memories of Xiaoyu whenever he would take over him, it was always the memories of her smiles. There has always been something about those smiles that weakens him. It doesn't hurt him in any way, but it distracts him long enough that Jin gets the few moments he need to take control back. When he noticed her effect on the Devil, Jin began to do this more often. So much so that his disgust of the warm feeling she brings to his black heart had slowly turned something for him to endear. Then, as time passed, she became his obsession. He would demand Jin to see Xiaoyu. When he does, he would push Jin to let him out. Jin never did that, of course. But as he grew in power, there would be fleeting moments where he would take over Jin and be able to hold Xiaoyu, to smell her, and feel her warmth. Sometimes, he could even kiss her.
He continues his tale to her.
Did you know Xiaoyu, what things he did during those nights when he came to your room when you used to live on the same roof together?
'Stop! Stop! Stop it! I don't want to hear!'
She shakes her head and covers her ears. He chuckles darkly and continues.
He would watch for a while, Stare at your face and body, trying to memorize it because he thought that maybe just imagining you would suffice next time. But he was only a boy, back then. His self-control was not as strong as it is today so his needs would win over. He'd walk closer to your bed, run his hands to his member, and stroke it while he looks at you, imagining it was you doing that.
Xiaoyu's eyes fill with disbelief.
'No... Jin wouldn't...'
Oh, but he had. He would touch himself to the sight of you. Sometimes, when you slept too deep, he would even run his hands all over you and smell you. He likes your scent so much, Xiaoyu.
She closes her eyes and shakes her head wildly. He grins.
So do I.
He places a hand on one of her breasts and fondles it with the ironic gentleness opposite of the harshness upon which he handled her arm.
I liked it when he does that. I liked it when he sends me all of those feelings. But I liked it better when I'm the one who is actually touching you. Look at what you do to me, Xiaoyu.
He grabs her hand and guides it down his length. He smirks as red stains her cheeks. She tries to pull her arms away in a futile effort of being demure. He just laughs mockingly.
Don't be shy, now. This has been inside you many times, hasn't it? It made you feel good, do you remember? It made you scream for me not to stop. Touch me, Xiaoyu. Touch me like how I touch you. Make me feel good too.
'No... I...'
But her resolve began to melt as he starts to do all the right things to the right places he knew she was most sensitive. His arousal is driven to new heights by the change in pattern of the erratic beating of her heart and the delectable moans escaping from her throat. He thought it absurd that he, a the Devil, could think of something as sinfully wrong- but that was the only way to describe the feeling he gets when he touches her. So sinfully wrong, yet so delicious. He cannot feed upon her fear so he feasts on the rich taste of her shame, the spicy taste of her anger, the thick tang of her guilt, and the saccharine flavor of her sorrow.
He lifts her up and her legs seem to automatically wrap around him. He slams her back above the nearest flat surface (which happens to be the large, Cherry-wood, desk that Jin bought for her after hearing one time that it reminded her of her home), and she moans and throws her head back as he enters her suddenly. He groans in approval to her very wet and warm welcome. He doesn't wait and begins to move inside her. The sounds she makes starts to come in more frequent and in much louder volumes as he plows faster and faster. His own voice joins her on the chorus of ecstasy as they both ascend closer and closer to the peak of release.
He opens his eyes and looks at her face to find that she is also looking at him. Her dark eyes peeking through halved lids and long eyelashes , her face is flushed and contorted in pleasure, and her sweet mouth parted; her tongue almost coming out.
He leans down and captures the shying appendage inside his mouth. He savors on her taste- mango, lychee, and jelly- what she ate a little while ago- as he suckles on her tongue. Her moans never stop, her legs tighten around his waist even more. His arms wrap around her and he presses their bodies flush while he continues to move. The new position drives his member deeper and makes it slam even harder inside. He thinks that he will go even more insane than he actually is with dainty Xiaoyu underneath him, writhing and moaning for him not to stop and telling him how good he is making her feel through her mewls. In moments like these, feels as if he might explode anytime.
He watches her watching him and he thinks that she is the most beautiful thing in the whole world. Thinks that even when the time comes that she's already old, and bent, and wrinkly, she will stay as so in his eyes. Thinks of all the times Jin took her for granted and swears that he will never do the same, he will give her all the love that she could ever ask for. Thinks that no matter how soulless everyone (including him) thinks he is; that he was not entirely without heart, after all.
This- she is proof of it.
The feeling of her hands running through his hair and gripping it at the base excites him even more. Her nipples rubbing at his torso as he heaves makes him even harder. His moans escalate as she comes, clamping down on his member so hard that he couldn't hold it anymore and follows suit. He gasps and whines as his seed bursts inside her in long filled her so much that there was no more space and the rest spilled out, dripping fat drops of milky white on the table.
They were both panting after the activity. He hadn't moved and was still inside her whilst she stared at the ceiling unseeingly. He stands up, not changing the position as he walks to their shared room and lays her down on the bed. She is asleep already, and he watches her face while he leans on his elbows. His member is still stiff, but he does not move. He knows she must still be hurting from the arm bruise he had given her so he contents himself with just looking at her peaceful face. He thinks of it as punishment for that, and it makes him want to laugh because of how ridiculous it is. What kind of demon punishes himself?
It pains him that after all this time, she still yearns for Jin. It drives him mad that no matter his effort, she would not look at him the same way she looks at Jin. It makes him want to shake her violently and scream because can't she see?! He is doing all of this for her, to please her, to make her give him even just a little part of her heart. He, a Devil with with unimaginable powers, is being reduced to something like this- all because he loves her. He loves her more than anything in the world. More than his thirst for blood and power, maybe even more than he loves himself. He has never known love, and now that he does, fate decides it's time he paid for all the sins he committed making him fall so deeply for a woman who would not return his feelings. Why can she not see that Jin could not- would not- love her the way he does? Jin is too afraid of people getting hurt because of him, or they hurting him that he pushes them all away. Jin is infatuated with Xiaoyu, this he knews, but he will not let Xiaoyu near him. Jin will only hurt her and use her to control the Devil, but why does she still insist on hurling herself at him all the goddamn time?!
His fists clench the bed sheet and his erection stiffens up more.
Xiaoyu stirs on her sleep and wraps her arms around him. She opens her eyes partly and smiles a soft smile, strokes his hair a little, then goes back to sleep.
The tightening of his body loosens up. He exhales shakily, quietly, then stares at Xiaoyu. He knows that she probably thought he was Jin because she would never show that kind of tenderness to the Devil. However, at that moment when she looked at him through half-lidded eyes with the most loving face, when she gave him that little, warm smile, when she embraced him and ran her hands through his hair- he had been left completely helpless and his breath was taken away.
He leans down and kisses her- long, light, and sweet- traces her cheekbones with his thumbs, buries her face at the crook of her neck and whispers.
I love you, Xiaoyu.... Fin .
AN: Please forgive me. If you find this repulsive, then please forgive me. I am a sick, sick person. Also, all characters used in this fic and the canon plots belong to Harada-sama.