A/N: Fun fact: Did you know Taka isn't listed as one of Seigaku's members on the wiki?
Also: Fuji is technically only 3 or 4 years old.
And and and, this is honestly really rushed because I haven't been writing much(at all). I couldnt come up with a good plot at all (not like humor has ANY plot )so I went with this generic thing that I hope you guys can still enjoy. Maybe? XD
February 29th had arrived.
It was also affectionately referred to as "Doomsday", and "judgment day", by the students of Seishun.
Fuji Shusuke woke up and admired the ominous lightning storm outside.
He was king for a day.
Inui had arrived to school early to stalk out some of the best hiding spots in the school, and fortifying them by sprinkling Inui juice over his territory and the grass almost immediately wilted(as well as kill everything within a three meter radius). He highly suspected he would pass out from the fumes, but they should be able to keep almost anyone out.
He shed a silent tear for his teammates as he knew he was abandoning them in this time of need.
He hurried to his hiding spot.
Fuji Shusuke arrived late.
"Do you have an explanation for why you're late?" The teacher asked and looked at Fuji sternly.
Fuji would never admit that it was because he was busy sharpening his weapons and lost track of time.
Instead, "I have no explanation, sir." Fuji said. "But-it's my birthday." He opened his eyes for good measure. Not all the way though. He didn't want to kill the teacher, of course.
When Fuji was excused, he smirked. He had many more plans.
" Eiji~"
Eiji froze. He had been trying to inconspicuously speed walk away, dammit!
He turned to face an innocent-looking Fuji. But through the times of being his teammate Eiji knew something horrible and possibly painful was going to happen. To him.
"Y-yes?"
"It's my birthday Eiji, I'm sure you know."
"Yes..?"
Fuji pointed to Seigaku. "I want that."
"...what?"
"I want that brick in the top left hand corner. I'm sure you'll get it for me, after all, it's my birthday!"
Eiji made an indistinguishable dying noise.
"glarckjeriakk" He said and stared.
"You don't want to hurt my feelings on my birthday do you? And its very special because my birthday only comes every four years...you know?"
The loud gargling sounds that were Eiji's soul trying to escape continued, but he nodded fearfully to himself. I can do it! After all, Fuji's birthday does only come every four years!
Fuji then spotted Ryoma, naively drinking Ponta and unsuspecting of his poor, short, life.
"Ryoma!" Fuji called.
Ryoma nodded and muttered something that sounded like 'hello'.
"Do you know what day it is?"
"Monday."
Fuji resisted the urge to frown. After all, he had to appear angelic and loving and forgiving at all times so he could continue to lure unfortunate people into his dark and devious plans.
"What else?"
"The twenty ninth...?"
"It's my birthday, actually. (you brat I will beat you in tennis how dare you forget my birthday Fuji thought silently)" Fuji said.
"Okay. Happy Birthday."
"But you know...I left something important of mine in the locker room." Fuji sighed, and sniffled for good effect. Then he wondered if that was overdoing it.
Ryoma stared, uninterested.
"Could you go get it for me, Ryoma? It's very precious and important to me."
"...What is it?"
"My cactus, Benny-san." Fuji tried to force out another tear. "I..misplaced it. In the girl's locker rooms."
Ryoma choked on a bit of Ponta.
After some coughing and hacking, Ryoma responded. "I couldn't possibly-"
"I can't believe I lost my poor cactus on my birthday." Fuji said loudly and (not so) subtly.
Ryoma sighed and couldn't help but feel he had been roped into some sort of trick.
Now came the fun part, Fuji thought to himself.
He just needed to find Tezuka.
Oh, there he was, the poor sucker.
Carrying a bucket of water, Fuji made his way over and 'tripped', 'accidentally' spilling water all over Tezuka.
"Sorry, buchou!"
Tezuka glared and began to speak when, suddenly Fuji 'stumbled' and 'clumsily' knocked off Tezuka's glasses.
A permanent marker 'coincidentally' appeared in Fuji's hands and it 'somehow ended up' being scrawled all over Tezuka's unassuming, defenseless face.
"I hope you're not hurt Tezuka. But it's my birthday; I know you'll forgive me." Fuji said sympathetically as he tucked away Tezuka's glasses then decided to push him over and steal his socks for good measure.
Fuji knew Tezuka would kill him multiple times tomorrow and left quickly before the fangirls swarmed.
On February twenty ninth, the top of Seigaku was demolished by what many terrified eyewitnesses claimed to be a redheaded student scaling the wall and rejoicing as he pulled a brick out of the building, causing the whole corner to come crashing down. Fortunately, no one was hurt.
Echizen Ryoma was seen in the girl's locker room, claiming to be looking for a cactus named Benny-san. He was chased (beaten) out of the locker room, narrowly escaping with his life as he emerged with scratch marks all over him and lash marks from undergarments being whipped at him. On the bright side, his father was proud of him.
Tezuka Kunimitsu, the renowned captain of Seigaku was lying in a puddle, shirtless and unconscious after being severely clawed at by fangirls, missing his socks and having a badly drawn French renaissance moustache adorning his face.
Other members of the Seigaku boys tennis team was found in various states of destruction and unconsciousness.
Taka had captured ten pigeons, twelve squirrels and a rabbit and had released them inside the school, causing much screaming (which was music to Fuji's ears).
Oishi was seen doing intensive parkour all over the grounds, and had stolen the microwaves from the staff rooms.
Takeshi and Kaidou had been locked in a classroom together, meaning all sorts of destruction and chaos. When they had opened the door-
Correction, there was no door anymore.
Meanwhile...at St. Rudolph, Yuuta was seen hiding his face and denying his name.
The next day, they found Inui passed out behind the dumpsters.
Fuji loved his birthday.