This was written while listening to 'How to Save a Life' by The Fray. If possible, I think you should listen to it as you read. I hope you enjoy reading this and if anyone out there needs someone to talk to, I'm here.
"Izaya, we have got to talk about this." Shinra rolled his eyes as Izaya began to walk away from him, despite it being his own apartment. "There's nothing to discuss". Izaya was always difficult to talk to "Just sit down; it's only a talk Izaya".
Izaya sighed as he obeyed, sitting down on his couch while offering Shinra a polite smile, receiving a polite stare in return. Light from the slowly setting sun filtered through the large window on Shinra's right, casting an orange glow over Izaya's apartment. "I know what you have been doing, as a doctor I can tell the signs. What I don't know is why. Something must be bothering you, causing fear even." Izaya looked off to his left "There isn't really anything to blame, other than myself…"
After a short while of trying to get Izaya to open up, Shinra thought 'I wonder why I came', Izaya's been like this for a while now and he refuses to tell me why although I have a few theories.
"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend,
Somewhere along in the bitterness,
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save a life"
"Izaya I'm a doctor so I know I'm right in saying you need help. I am not going to lie and say everything will be ok as we both know that's not true. I can say however that it will be better." The raven-haired male scoffed at that, obviously not believing the underground doctor. "Look, you don't eat properly and when you do eat you don't keep it down, you also have a horrible sleeping pattern which means you are not getting enough sleep. It goes without saying that you are in bad shape Izaya, and that's without mentioning the self-harming. I can't even force help on you since I don't know why you are doing this. Please stop it Izaya, don't do this to yourself. I certainly do not want one of my friends destroying themselves." Shinra sighed and prayed to a god that neither of the males believed in, that Izaya would listen.
"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend,
Somewhere along in the bitterness,
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save a life"
"Shinra, I am perfectly capable of sorting this out on my own!" He rarely raised his voice but now was one of those rare moments. "I do not need help and even if I did we both know I would refuse to accept it!" Shinra was silent for a short while before speaking up. "Izaya, if you don't want my help, that's fine. However you only have two options." Granting Izaya one last choice during this conversation is important as izaya has to seek out help as he won't readily accept it when offered. "You can either drive until you lose the road, or you can break with the ones you've followed."
Now Izaya will do one of two things, he might admit to everything, the eating disorder, the insomnia and the self-harming. "Shinra, I'm just not the same. I'm different to how I was before…" Shinra sighed wondering why he came.
"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend,
Somewhere along in the bitterness,
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save a life"
"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend,
Somewhere along in the bitterness,
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life,
How to save a life,"
A mere week or two later, Shinra regrets leaving Izaya's apartment that night. He had been there offering help, only to not be there when it was truly needed. He always knew it would be difficult, but he thought talking to Izaya would have knocked a little sense into him. It didn't, he failed.
"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend,
Somewhere along in the bitterness,
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save a life"
He had received a call the next morning from Namie, Izaya's secretary. She sounded a little worried which was unusual for her. Shinra asked her what was wrong, only to run out his apartment a moment after. Namie hung up when she heard the underground doctor running. Then she sat down on Izaya's couch glancing at the door to his bathroom. Unknowingly, she was sat in the very spot Izaya was when Shinra had spoken to him the night before.
"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend,
Somewhere along in the bitterness,
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life"
As soon as Shinra reached Izaya's, Namie pointed to the bathroom and she was obviously reluctant to go near it herself. Shinra could not prepare himself for the sight, although he expected it. There, in a bathtub of now cold water, lay one of the few people Shinra could ever call a friend. Izaya Orihara, one of the perceivably most dangerous men in Ikebukuro, had taken his own life.
So standing atop a hill, overlooking the area where Mairu and Kururi had decided to scatter their brother's ashes, was Shinra. He couldn't help but feel like it was his fault that Izaya was gone. Only a few people knew at the moment and they were Shinra & Celty, the twins, Kadota's gang, those three kids from Raira and last but not least, Shizuo. Shizuo was currently trying to calm the twins down as they had begun crying again. Everyone was surprised when he had said he wanted to be there when they scatter the ashes, he even stayed on the hill with Shinra after everyone else had gone.
They both wondered why this happened, Shizuo having not known Izaya had any problems, Shinra not knowing why he hadn't wanted help.