Title: You Belong to Me
Author: TheVampireLucinda
Featuring: I'll leave it a mystery until the end.
Disclaimer: Dark fic. Slash. Also recollections of and implied rape, non-con, abuse...Rated M.
Summary: He meant it when he said that he always gets what he wants. Based on the Evanescence song "Snow White Queen."
A/N: I have no idea where this came from...Wrote it back in 2013! It's so dark that when my Muses suggested it to me, I tried to tell them no. But they wanted to explore the darker side of my imagination, so, here we are. Anyway, the perspective switches around a lot, but I hope it's more of less clear who's speaking. I left the identities as a surprise at the end...Although it's probably not that surprising. A bit AU also. Enjoy!
Stoplight lock the door
Don't look back
Undress in the dark
And hide from you
All of you
"You belong to me."
His voice echos in my head constantly.
I know that he has a key; that's how he gets in here every night, and why I'm not allowed to leave this room without him. The physical lock is only a small part of my confinement, but I think it is also the worst.
I don't know why I even lock the door anymore. Maybe some leftover defiance from a time that seems so far away. I barely even remember those days now...The precious days of my freedom.
He'll get in. He always finds a way in, even if I lock the door, even if I try to escape. He always finds me, and forces me back here.
Someone long ago warned me that he always gets what he wants.
I was so foolish not to believe them.
With my eyes wide open, I walked into his arms. I couldn't sense the danger he posed...But, in my defense, he hid his malice well.
I didn't have a clue until it was too late.
God, I fought him so hard those first few nights. In the end, though, it was all for nothing. I was paid in pain and humiliation for my defiance; I wanted so much to die in those initial days.
Actually, I want to die now as I slowly strip off my clothing. Why make things any harder than they have to be?
I can't believe I used to love him.
You'll never know the way your words have haunted me
I can't believe you'd ask these things of me
You don't know me
Now and ever
That first night was the worst. He taunted me as I lay helpless before him, holding the key to my bondage over my head, just out of the reach of my grasping hands.
I was angry, so angry; but that anger quickly became a sick feeling of fear in the pit of my stomach.
'This man owns me now,' I remember thinking clearly, vividly, as he unbuttoned my shirt. I had been owned before, but never in this way, and never by one so cruel.
I had fallen for a devil with the face of an angel.
Unacceptable for one of my kind; at best an instant death sentence, and, at worst, a lifetime of servitude.
I'm even more damned now than I was before.
You belong to me
My snow white queen
There's nowhere to run
So let's just get it over
Soon I know you'll see
You're just like me
Don't scream anymore my love
'Cause all I want is you
He's so beautiful like this, sitting on the bed, pale skin shimmering in the moonlight. I arranged his room perfectly, so that at every angle I can admire his rare beauty.
I'm ashamed to say that I really do love him; it's not my fault that he didn't come willingly to me when he had the chance! He denied me access to him, and I don't take rejection very well.
So I had to use other means to bring him to me.
For all the trouble it took me to get him here, I sure as hell was going to take my payment, and will continue to take it as long as we're together.
I love that I can look into those flashing clear eyes and say, "You're mine."
Our eyes meet, and in that pain-filled glance I see the memory of our first night together. I lay the key on the dresser, setting the means of my control near it as a reminder.
God, I remember how he cursed me that first night. He's so brave, so strong. I don't think he was used to being dominated so completely. I punished him, of course, but the stubborn beauty refused to see reason.
And it only made me want him more.
Sometimes I feel bad for taking him so roughly those first several nights. Sometimes. But his gasps and cries of pain when I entered him the first time will forever be sweet to me. Watching him slowly crumble over the next several weeks was sweeter still, with the escape attempts, the punishments, the bruises, the beatings, and, at the very last, the heartfelt entreaty:
"Please let me go."
Just thinking about it makes me want him again.
Wake up in a dream
Frozen fear
All your hands on me
I can't scream
I can't scream
I don't even fight him anymore as he climbs on top of me, and he doesn't have to force me to open my mouth to receive his tongue.
I am both bigger and stronger than him...and yet my mind and soul are his. Though I cringe with all my heart as his hands run down along my sides and stroke my thighs, I can do nothing.
Every night I wonder if this is a nightmare—some long, extended nightmare that I need only wake up from.
But no, this is real. This is hell, and it's real, and I'll never get away from him.
I don't have the will to fight him anymore.
I can't escape the twisted way you think of me
I feel you in my dreams and I don't sleep
I don't sleep
I spend my daylight hours wondering why he chose me.
He is on my mind constantly, my tormentor.
I have tried, many times after he had beaten me into unconsciousness, to at least escape from him in the darkness of my mind.
But he is there, too. He is everywhere. Awake or asleep, I cannot be free of him.
I haven't slept decently in months, and all of my dreams have been tumbling images of him, falling one over another until I wake up in a cold sweat, gasping for breath.
And the nightmare continues. I am still his.
Say you belong to me
My snow white queen
There's nowhere to run
So let's just get it over
Soon I know you'll see
You're just like me
Don't scream anymore my love
'Cause all I want is you
"You're mine," I whisper in a low voice as I lick his ear. He's so pliant under me...I don't know which I enjoy more, his fighting or his submission.
He gasps as I pull hard on his long dark hair.
"Mine, always and forever."
I can't see his face, but I know that his green eyes are burning with hatred. He tried to escape a few days ago, to my surprise. My poor Beauty didn't get very far, though, before I called him back to me.
Really, I didn't want to punish him so harshly, but he had to learn his place. And even now, as I look down at his back, his buttocks, his thighs—so naked and pale and otherwise without blemish—I can see the evidences of that punishment.
I can't help but smile as I lick at one of the slowly-healing welts.
"I love you."
I can't save your life
Though nothing I bleed for is more tormenting
I'm losing my mind
And you just stand there and stare as my world divides
I'm not a religious man, but I'm praying right now that he'll hurry up and finish. I'm still hurting from the other day, and he's being rougher than usual tonight.
Rougher than usual? God help me, am I getting used to this?
And...Did he just say that he loved me?
I dare to turn my head and look into his deep blue eyes. I know that he'll do something horrible to me for this, but I don't care any more. In this moment of madness, I can only say one thing in response to him:
"I love you too."
I feel him tense—not with pleasure or release, but with confusion, and then his limitless anger. He shoves me down hard on the bed, disengaging himself from me, and for a moment I have respite from him.
In the silence I turn to him again, and see that he is holding my urn, the key to my enslavement. As long as he has that in his power, I can do nothing to stop him, can do nothing except obey his every command.
His eyes are narrow as he stares at me, and slowly begins to unscrew the top. I consider pleading with him to stop before he does something that cannot be undone.
He plunges his hand into the urn, into my very soul, sending a searing white shock of pain through my body. I cry out and writhe on the bed, and he seems pleased with my reaction—so much so that he joins me once again, setting my urn on the dresser once more.
The worst part about this all is that I really do still love him.
He's been on my mind and in my heart since the moment I met him; and now that he literally holds my soul in his possession, I see that what I loved was an image and a lie. A beautiful, beautiful falsehood.
But love him I did, and love him I still do.
I'm too weak to move as he rolls me onto my back and sits on my waist.
"Shawn, don't," I struggle to say, but he simply shakes his head.
"How many times do I have to tell you not to boss me around?" he asks with a small smile before leaning down and claiming my lips in a bruising kiss.
This is hell, truly hell, and I'm never getting out.
I am his.
You belong to me
My snow white queen
There's nowhere to run
So let's just get it over
Soon I know you'll see
You're just like me
Don't scream anymore my love
'Cause all I want is you
All I want is you
All I want is you
All I want is you
Forever and ever
Ever and ever