A/N: Alright, I am obviously not savvy enough in the Dr. Who universe to write a serious work within it, but I felt like doodling. The idea of these two
meeting spawned after PMing with optimustaud, so half the credit goes there. =) I have no intention of continuing this myself, but if you feel this is
a decent idea the fic is up for adoption to anyone feeling inspired.
I own nothing of Dr. Who and I own nothing of Blue Exorcist. Cheers!
All stories begin somewhere. This one I'm afraid does not. This "somewhere" thing is all relative anyway, as is time, and people's perception of time, and
the term "people" for that matter, and- You know what? Let's just get going, shall we?
The TARDIS was older than the Doctor himself – which is saying something, considering how old he was. She was a sturdy piece of space ship, though. Built
in a time when things were built to last, and with innumerable and also quite irresponsible journeys behind her to prove the truth of that statement.
She did have a capricious side to her, not denying that: that's the secret to staying young and fresh, folks. Expect the unexpected and catch it by surprise
just before it happens – like TARDIS did, when suddenly the space ship lurched under the Doctor's feet, skidded like a rollerblader and landed like an
albatross.
"Woowee, bit of a rough landing, that." Not that that mattered much to the Doctor, just like being tossed across the room by the motion didn't matter much
to his already dishevelled appearance.
Because when the TARDIS had a sudden change of heart like this in the middle of a trip, it was usually because she had found something fascinating.
"What?! That can't be! What?!"
TARDIS would have a great sense of humour, if she'd been able to talk – but on second thought, the wordless form of humour suited her. There was only a
blinking little lamp next to one of the monitors in her control panel, and on the monitor there was an announcement in Gallifreyan, and nothing more.
TARDIS detected
"But that can't be", the Doctor repeated to himself, scrunching his eyebrows together at the monitor and running his brain at light speed to figure out a logic
explanation. "This is the only TARDIS still existing, how can...? How can it detect another one? Hah! This I gotta see!"
And since the atmosphere readings were fine, the gravity agreeable, and the possibility of vicious alien beasts waiting outside high, the Doctor threw on his
trenchcoat, patted his chest to make sure the sonic screwdriver was in the pocket, and walked straight out with an enthusiastic grin on his lips.
A disappointingly beast-free – and futhermore, TARDIS-free – foyer greeted him. But come on, it was a foyer. It had marble floor in pink and white, and a
whole table of soddin' flower arrangements, and that kind of staircase you only see in films of the Addams family.
"Not bad, not bad!" The sonic screwdriver flopped into his hand and back up in the air again as he had a look at TARDIS' most recent parking lot. "Better
than that cave I landed in once on Stavros Beta. Whoever built this place 's clearly got style – odd style, but style. Eh, might've skipped those frilly curtains,
though." And those flowers, after a sniff and a poke to see if it was the other TARDIS using its chameleon circuit. What's the point of flowers if they don't
smell? Only allergic people with sensitive noses get any joy out of that. "Now, where's that other TARDIS hiding...?"
The screwdriver produced a sharp, undulating noise in his hand as he scanned his surroundings for something as familiar and exotic as another TARDIS.
"This is all strange, should be round 'ere somewhere... A-hah! There it is! It's- What? A dog?"
A little Scottish terrier, to be precise – and what a hi-tech model of TARDIS it must be, if it could camouflage as something like that.
"Looks like a furry version of K-9", the Doctor grinned. The screwdriver slipped back into his pocket with accustomed ease, and he tugged his trouser legs
up a bit to sit down on his haunches. "Come over here, girl! Let's have a look at ya, come here – who's a good girl? Yeees, who's a- Oh, my bad, I mean
'good boy'", he amended once the dog – that did, in his defence, wear a pink ribbon in place of a collar – had trotted over to him. "Your owner's got a funny
sense o' style, I'll give 'im that. Here we go." He lifted it gently, hands under its front legs. "Blimey, that's one realistic texture! You're no TARDIS, are ya,
boy? Whoever made you must've come from a quite advanced culture. Now if I could only figure out how you operate that time vortex..."
"Could I suggest you put me down instead?" said the dog in a slightly nasal voice.
"Hahaaa what a funny voice simulator you've got! It's almost like that time on Algernon Eight, when I met-"
*poof*
"What do you say we continue our little chat over a cup of tea?" said the same voice, but no longer nasal and no longer limited to the small resonance box
of a dog.
The Doctor found himself face to face with pink and purple striped stockings, and didn't quite know where to go from there. South of them was the pinkest
pair of boots he had seen on any planet, including Carnivul Four that had the biggest amusement park in the galaxy – not to be confused with Carnivur Four,
which hosted the Alpha Quadrant's biggest meat market. North of said stockings were the rest of Carnivul Four: a pair of white poofy shorts followed by an
equally white tailcoat with buttons in the same pinks and purples as the stockings.
Standing up, the Doctor came… not quite face-to-face, but close enough, with a statuesque humanoid whose smile was polite, but not enough to make you
feel there was any genuine friendliness beyond that.
"If my ears don't betray me, you are an Englishman", the humanoid continued lightly and swept him with a probing glance. "Or appear to be one, at least."
"Would you look a' that?" He circled the alien with the screwdriver taking readings, squatting and poking, standing and squatting again, and had no concept
of what the creature had just said. "You're completely organic! Not a single trace of mechanical implants. I haven't seen a shapeshifter in a good five hundred
years, and never one that can tap into the time vortex – just how do you do that? This body can't possibly channel that much energy, it should implode, it's
just..." The screwdriver's high pitched undulations ceased, and left behind an awkward moment of silence. "Human", he finished. "Or appearing to be."
There's plenty of aliens that like to inhabit other people's bodies, you know. Nasty critters, most of them, but at least they let you know. There's always signs
that something else is in there.
Except in this case. Perfectly human body, nothing human inside it. At all. Not even a subdued presence. It was empty, save for this new thing that lived in it.
"Tea…?" the alien repeated pleasantly, making an inviting hand gesture to the foyer's grand staircase. "I believe I have a very savoury blend for just this kind
of occasion."
"In a minute, but first I'd like to know why you're not a decaying pile of bones", he smiled just as pleasantly and tucked away the screwdriver in his pocket.
"Ya see, that body is at least, oh I don't know – three hundred years old? Four hundred? Is that the time vortex keeping it in this state, eh?"
"This time vortex you speak of..." Something got the alien completely sidetracked at this point, and its narrow eyes grew surprisingly – disturbingly – big.
"My, what is that?" Followed by a whoosh that made the Doctor's trenchcoat flap out like a sail and nearly drag him backwards. "Oh my oh my, it's-"
"Bigger on the inside?"
"Man-made!" the alien chirped happily from within the TARDIS. "Fantastic! All metal, all good old solid materia and yet its properties expand beyond it all! It
slips through space like fish through water, cuts across time like an arrow cleaving the air!"
That's the lovely thing about the universe; always surprising you. The TARDIS could jump through time-space and space-time and tango with parallel
dimensions, which fascinated many, but this odd fellow thought nothing of that. The ode of praise continued for a good while in more and more enthusiastic
words; and in that while, the Doctor thought several things.
He's not human, and he's not any type of alien life form in this universe.
If he's a Chronovore, I have to figure out how to lure him away from Earth. Without getting eaten, preferably.
Does he always get this manic over things?
He can't be an Eternal, can he? No, why would he take to inhabiting an actual human body if he were an Eternal?
He could be a demon. Is he actually
The alien's head appeared in the doorway, with a grin that looked like it would crack open his human host:
"Human creativity is amazing!"
"…well, good news is he doesn't look like he wants to destroy anything."
Then the smile dropped, swift as the rush tide of a supernova:
"But you aren't."
"Oh I'm pretty amazing, I'd say. 'specially at being creative", the Doctor pointed out, rocking back on his heels with his hands in his trouser pockets.
"No doubt; but you aren't human", the alien repeated as it parted with the TARDIS with a last, loving caress of the doorframe.
"Well - neither are you."
"True." And the silence that followed seemed to accentuate that answer with little sharp grains of ice. "However, I do believe the guest should introduce
himself first, now that he so brusquely entered my abode uninvited."
"Oh, I get it!" His hands flew out of his pockets in a gesture of surrender. "Sorry for the bad manners, eh? Space and isolation does that to ya. This is the
TARDIS, I'm the Doctor, and you're quite correct that I'm not really an Englishman: I'm a Time Lord. Pleased to meet'cha", he finished with a winning grin,
not yet done deciding if he liked the glint in the alien's eyes or not. "If he's a Chronovore I really need to start thinking of a plan."
"Time Lord?" No, seemed a false alarm: the alien's eyes glided towards the TARDIS, not towards its potential snack.
Then it started laughing.
"Ahahaha T-Time Lord! What kind of rihihihidiculous title is that?! You have no power over time! Your phone box does!"
…he wasn't quite sure, but it might be the first time he had revealed his lineage and been met with laughter. It was kind of refreshing.
"Well, not the way the TARDIS does, but I'm still a Time Lord", he told the giggling, hyperventilating alien. "And it's not a phone box, it just looks like a phone
box: it's a TARDIS: Time and Relative Dimension in Space."
"Oh I know that, we've introduced ourselves – she's a real vixen, ain't she?" the alien winked and shot him a knowing smile. "You naughty boy, bringing along
so many other women and making her jealous. Really had a thing for that Rose girl, did you~?"
There are certain things that can throw even the Doctor off balance, and make him like fire, like ice, like rage. This could have been one of those things, if the
unexpected hadn't been there to sidetrack him.
"You can speak with the TARDIS?" he blurt out through shining eyes and incredulous lips.
"Of course I can." The alien took a bow, frilly and gaudy as the curtains of the great foyer. "I am Samael, the Demon King who controls time and space." He
reared back up to mirror the Doctor's grin. "I can dub you Time Squire if you like."
"Why not Time Knight? I've always fancied myself more of a Knight, but, well – fallout with Queen Victoria and her folks, not very well seen in Britain
anymore; it's history."
"Ah yes, she was a capricious woman, wasn't she?" Samael chimed in with a glint of merry recognition in his eyes. "Werewolf bites tends to do that to you."
Would you look at that?
"No way – you knew ol' Vicky?"
Now that wasn't something very common in the 21st century! Not among humans, for obvious reasons, but it wasn't very common among non-humans
either. Most aliens weren't the sitting-down-to-chat-over-a-cuppa-tea type – mainly because not all aliens had mouths or hands or even liked tea, but also
because many of them found conquering and devouring to be better ways to interact with humanity.
What else was rather fascianting was that Samael seemed to have lungs like a blue whale. Really. He started on Queen Victoria and detoured past Babylonia
and the inuit populations of Greenland to somehow land around the warrior monks of feudal Japan. Throughout the stream of praise over humanity the Doctor
wondered if the sweeping gestures and the increasing blush in the demon's cheeks were the host body's attempt to signal lack of oxygen, or if it was simply
Samael overheating with joy. And while he pondered, his own smile grew wider and wider.
"Are you always like this?"
The steady gushing of words stopped.
"Like what?"
"This bubbly – you know? This excited about things?"
"About getting ambushed by surprise?" Oh yes the Time King looked excited at that.
"Uncovering the wonders of the universe?" On the other hand, so did the Doctor.
"Discovering the foreign and fantastic?"
Have you ever wondered what happens when twin souls meet? Well, it is a bit of a let down, really. Most likely they'll just stand there and grin stupidly at
each other and that's that. That is because you don't feel it; the resonance. The wiggling, curling, carbonated-drink-bubbling resonance between two
individuals that have found themselves in each other. In that kind of silence, words are superfluous. They both know all they need to know.
"Just don't flirt with the TARDIS, will ya?" the Doctor said and shot him a grin as he walked past and skipped in through the door.
"Don't worry, I'm sure I will find other options", snickered the tall, newly approved Companion as he strutted on board. "Have you ever thought about putting
up curtains? Some flowers would be nice, too…"