I don't own Hetalia: Axis Powers or World Series, Hidekaz Himaruya does. I wrote this in honor of Halloween, my most favorite holiday, and to honor many foreign horror films that still scare the crap out of me. You can find clips of most of these movies on YouTube, and I hope you enjoy this!
Faux Bloodshed
"Dude, thank you all so very much for coming on such short notice!" America announced loudly. He slapped a hand onto the table. "As you all are aware, today is HALLOWEEN!" He raised his arms and spread them wide above his head. "And in honor of the most greatest holiday ever, I have proposed a short film festival!" America pointed to a gigantic television set that was set up against the far wall. "That's right, we countries are going to compare our most scariest movies and we all will decide who's the scariest! Great idea, HUH? But we'll have to go through this before 6 pm, because I have to leave to go Trick-or-Treating!"
Silence permeated the large conference hall as soon as America was done speaking. After several moments, a single hand raised. "America recognizes Britain to speak!"
Britain stood up, looking clearly irritated. "Let me get this straight. You can forth a World Conference just to compare scary movies?"
America nodded enthusiastically. "We all have our share of them and now we can compare them all!"
"But I'm in the middle of a national crisis!" China exclaimed. "I can't just put everything on hold for some foolish film festival, aru!"
"National crisis?" South Korea asked him. "You won the Nobel Peace Prize! How is that a national crisis?"
Britain shook his head in disbelief. "I would say this is the most idiotic thing you've ever done America, but then I'm reminded of how your Congress recently made a mockery of itself by inviting a comedian to be an expert witness—"
"Oh, be quiet!" America shouted. "And while we're on the subject of mockery, didn't your media just make a movie about one of your crowned Princes getting kidnapped by the Taliban? Even though it NEVER HAPPENED?"
Britain's whole face turned red. And France took that opportunity to poke at his cheeks. "Oh-hohoho! You look quite cornered there, Britain!"
"Oh, shut up!" the two countries proceeded to grapple each other, while America was left standing there dumbfounded at the interruption.
"All right, ALL RIGHT!" Germany shouted, jumping to his feet. "We're all here now, so we might as well go along with this idiotic ruse!"
Both France and Britain looked embarrassed by their behavior and Britain quickly cleared his throat. "Right. So who wants to go first?"
"Hey, I started this party!" America complained. "It's my job to say that! Who wants to go first?"
"Ooh, memememe!" Sealand jumped to his feet and waved his hand wildly. "Can I show my movie first?"
"You made a movie?" Britain asked incredulously. "How? And how did you even get in here?"
"I invited him," Sweden said coldly.
Britain knew it was wise not to press the issue. "S-So, you made a movie, Sealand?"
"Oh, it's a grand movie! All of my citizens participated in the production of it! And Papa-Sweden made my costume!" Sealand held up a VHS tape. "I present to you: Sealand and the Sea Monster!"
The assembly stared dumbfounded at the micro-nation as he hurried over to the television and inserted the VHS into the VCR/DVD combo player.
The movie itself was only ten minutes long. The title was just the aforementioned words scribbled onto construction paper. And…indeed, it was about a sea monster invading Sealand. Sealand himself played the monster in a rather elaborate costume, which unfortunately was a little too big on him. He kept tripping over the monster's "feet".
Most of the "movie" showed the monster chasing the citizens of Sealand. All five of them. Most of the time though only four people were on camera.
"Where's the other guy?" Britain asked as the shaky camera ran after four people screaming around a corridor.
"Somebody has to hold the camera!" Sealand explained. "We all took turns!"
"That's…nice."
Sealand did try his hardest as the monster, and growled accordingly. In one shot it was even apparent that the "monster" was riding a goat while it was chasing the citizens of Sealand. But in the end the citizens triumphed and cast the monster back into the sea. The final shot was of the "monster" laying face down in the water, and his head-mask slowly slipped off and floated away.
Sealand ejected the tape and smiled happily at the other countries. "What do you think?"
Everyone gaped at him in silence for a long moment. Then Finland quickly jumped to his feet and clapped furiously. "You did a great job, Sealand!"
Sweden stoically stood up and clapped as well. Latvia and Iceland followed and soon the entire room was filled with an awkward applause.
Oblivious, Sealand bowed deeply. "Thank you all so very much!"
"Now let's move onto real movies," Britain said, turning away from the micro-nation.
"Hey, I find that insulting!" Sealand pouted as he retook his seat.
"Who wants to go next?" America asked.
"I might as well go," someone said as they stood up. "Since none of you will be able to defeat us."
"Ho, really?" France asked, folding his arms over his chest. "That's a lofty challenge, Romano."
Italy Romano laughed shortly and shook his head. "Hardly lofty, frog-breath, when there is no other country on earth who can match horror films to the Italians!"
"Nii-san…" Italy Veneziano hesitantly grabbed his brother's sleeve, looking quite pale. "D-Don't show it okay? It gives me nightmares…"
"You make great horror films?" Britain asked. "Don't make me laugh! You're the country who plagiarizes off of America's crappy zombie movies!"
"Hey!" America yelled. "My zombie movies are masterpieces!"
"Dario Argento," Romano retorted back. "Riccardo Freda, Antonio Margheriti, Lucio Fulci, and Joe D'Amato. Some of the greatest directors ever, and all of the horror genre! And all from Italy! What the fuck do you have, huh?"
"Nii-san, please don't swear!" Italy wailed.
"Well, show us then!" Britain shouted. "Show us your film filled with fake blood and lifeless acting!"
"Lifeless? There is nothing lifeless about THIS!" Romano pulled out a DVD case. "My movie of choice is Suspiria!"
Italy 'eeped' and clamped his fists over his mouth. Some of the other countries exchanged looks and words about this film.
Britain, however, was unmoved. "Ha! That story is just a blatant rip-off of Snow White! Plagiarism, just like I said!"
Romano scoffed. "You won't be calling this a rip-off when it leaves you screaming like a little bitch!"
Romano went ahead and put Suspiria in. Italy promptly hid underneath the table, earning strange looks from other countries.
Only the first twenty minutes of Suspiria were shown, but this included the first murder scene in the movie. When the female character looked out the window and golden eyes appeared in the darkness, many of the younger countries shrieked in alarm. When the arm came through the window, most everyone jumped. Romano reclined in his chair, smirking in satisfaction.
Of course, there was bound to be nit-picking.
"How can she still walk around after being stabbed in the chest?"
"The blood looks too fake."
"How'd they get up there anyways? Did he pull her through the window, or something?"
But the combination of screaming, gurgling, and graphic stabbing proved to be nauseating for many of the countries, particularly the climax of the murder sequence when the victim crashed spectacularly through the glass ceiling.
"Wow that was awesome!" America cheered happily, clapping his hands. He not-so subtly glanced at his watch while he did so, though. "There you have it; Suspiria, the last movie to have ever been made in Technicolor!"
"Did you just say something intelligent?" Britain exclaimed, looking aghast.
America nonchalantly flipped him the bird. "All right, how many points does he earn?"
"Points, aru?" China asked. "We're going on a voting system?"
"Yeah, just like I said!"
"You never said anything about points," Britain pointed out.
"No, I'm absolutely certain I did!" America ignored the exasperated looks he got from the other countries. "So now, how many points?"
"Ten zillion!" Spain shouted, raising his hand.
"Yay, we won!" Italy cheered, peeking out from underneath the table.
"Oh, come on!" France complained loudly. "Make is a realistic number!"
"That's right!" Britain interjected. He didn't notice the looks of horror he received for siding with France. "No points higher than…uh…one hundred!"
"That's not fun!" America said. "How about none higher than a thousand?"
"It would be impossible to keep track of scores like that, you idiot!"
"Two-fifty!" Germany snapped. "No points higher than two hundred and fifty per country!" He shook his head in disgust. "Why did I get out of bed this morning?"
Nobody argued with that. "Two-fifty!" Spain cheered again.
Romano sighed and rolled his eyes. "Did you even pay attention to my movie, or are you throwing out random numbers?"
Spain laughed and threw an arm around Romano's shoulders. "I must always give my best to mi tomate pequeño!"
"Don't call me that! And get the fuck off me!"
Other countries threw out numbers as well, which brought Suspiria up to four-hundred and ninety points.
"My turn!" America shouted suddenly. He pulled a DVD out of his coat. "I've got Dawn of the Dead! The remade version!"
Britain rolled his eyes. "Why does that not surprise me?"
"Just wait! All of you will be horrified and grossed out! That's the best combination for a horror movie!"
It would've been a nice showing of the movie…if America had not spent the entirety for his viewing cycling through the menu and random parts of the movie to determine what the scariest part was. And since he was the one to call this sort of conference, the other countries quickly got annoyed with him.
"Choose a bloody scene or stop it!" Britain snapped.
"Okay, okay! Here we go!"
America chose to play the intro, which in it of itself was terrifying. He himself even shrieked during the zombie montage.
"Well, that's the total winner!" America cheered happily. "How many points do I get?"
"Five points," Britain said blandly.
"WHAT?"
"Five, because it's a crappy remake. And I only even bother to give you any at all because the Italians plagiarized off this series—"
"HEY!" Romano shouted.
"Seventy-five!" Sealand cheered.
"Oh, come on!" America wailed. "Nothing higher than even a hundred?"
By the end of the tally, Dawn of the Dead only had two hundred and two points. It left America whimpering at the table. "What's the deal…how could I get such a low score? Me?"
"All right, that's two down—" Britain began.
"THREE!" Sealand loudly corrected him. "I went first!"
"—Two down," Britain finished unabated. "Who wants to go next?"
"M-May I go next?"
Most of the countries shrieked at this voice, and Britain regarded the boy sitting next to him warily. "C-Canada! When did you come in?"
"I've been here this whole time," Canada responded. Britain twitched very slightly. "Is it all right if I go next?"
"All right, bro!" America shouted, slapping Canada hard on the back. "I didn't know you made horror movies! Which one did you bring?"
Canada pulled a DVD out of his coat. "I-I brought Black Christmas."
"Hey, no fair!" America shouted. "That's my movie!"
"No, your crappy remake is YOUR movie!" Britain pointed out. But he regarded Canada suspiciously. "But is Black Christmas a Canadian movie? I'm fairly certain it's a British film!"
Canada looked flustered. "Y-Yes, this is one of my movies. I even got Olivia Hussey to appear—"
"I, too, thought it was a European movie," France said, rubbing his chin. "Are you sure this is yours, Canada?"
"This was made by Ambassador Film Distributors," Canada said. "And that's a Canadian film company. Not only that, but it's based upon a series of murders that actually happened in Quebec—"
"REAL MURDERS?" America screamed. "This is a snuff film!"
"Wait, there are murders in Canada?" Germany wondered aloud.
"Just shut it!" Britain snapped, shaking his head. "All right, we believe you Canada. Go ahead and show us the movie."
"T-Thank you." Canada walked over to the television, hugging Kumajirou to his chest. "Be sure to cover your eyes, Kumasanji!"
"Who are you?" Kumajirou asked him.
"I'm Canada!"
"WOO HOO, Canada!" Prussia shouted suddenly.
"Don't be sarcastic," Austria snapped.
"Hey! Who said I was being sarcastic?"
Canada showed the first murder scene in Black Christmas, where the female victim was suffocated by a plastic bag. It was hard to determine what was more horrifying; the murder itself, or the twisted expression in the victim's dead face as she was propped up in a chair next to the attic window.
"S-So," Canada stammered slightly, ejecting the DVD. "Was it scary?"
"Two hundred and three points!" Britain cheered.
"But that gives him more points than ME!" America complained.
"That's the point!"
"Two hundred and fifty!" Prussia shouted.
Canada seemed quite shocked at his rising score. "W-Wow…this is amazing, isn't it Kumaoishi?"
"Who are you?" Kumajirou repeated.
But even with Britain and Prussia's high scores, they were the only ones to grade Canada's movie. This left him with four hundred and fifty-three points, short of Italy's movie but ahead of America's.
"I think I'll go next," Britain sighed, standing up. "I can hardly believe I'm taking part in this nonsense, but this will cut the contest short."
"What do you have that's scarier than Dawn of the Dead?" America demanded.
Britain laughed. "Movies can be scary without gore, America."
America stared at him blankly. "How?"
"Psychological thriller, of course!" Britain held up a DVD. "This is Asylum, one of the scariest movies created."
"Asylum?" France wondered aloud. "So it takes place in a mental institution?"
"Of course it does! That's why it's called Asylum!"
Britain started the movie. The dark imagery and chilling music in the film helped to set the appropriate mood. The atmosphere of the mental institution itself was also very chilling, and everyone waited to see the horrors it detailed.
However…
"Good God, this movie is BORING!" America complained after twenty minutes.
"You're only saying that because I gave you such a low score!" Britain scored.
"Can we watch something else?" Sealand said. "I'm bored!"
"It's NOT BORING!"
"This is incredibly slow-moving," France said. "Why don't we just cut to the chase and reveal that it's the patients running the asylum?"
"YOU RUINED THE ENDING!" Britain lunged at France.
"Patients taking over a mental institution," Romano said sarcastically. "Who didn't see THAT coming?"
"…I didn't," Austria admitted.
"Okay, how many points does that get?" America asked, ignoring the fighting.
"ALL the points!" Britain snapped, kicking France away. "Asylum is the best movie at its core!"
Despite that, Britain got roughly two hundred and fifty points. Not a winning score, but indeed better than America. "All right, who's next?"
"Me next!" Hungary shouted, jumping to her feet.
"You brought a horror movie?" Austria asked.
"The very best one! I give you all Taxidermia!"
"Taxidermia?" America echoed. "Oh! Is it about some crazy taxidermist who kills people and stuffs them?"
"Not quite. Let me show you the scariest part." Hungary happily skipped over to the television.
"Taxidermia ,huh?" Prussia mused thoughtfully.
"You've seen it?" Austria asked.
"Nein. But she did threaten me once when we were fighting. Something about "pulling a Taxidermia" on me. I didn't know what she meant, but I guess it has to do with this scene."
The scariest part Hungary described was in fact of the finale of the movie. Everyone could see a man strapped to an elaborate machine, wondering what would happen next. Then…
"HOLY SHIT!" America shrieked.
"I-Is he doing that to HIMSELF, aru?" China cried out.
"Oh, God why? WHY?" Britain wailed.
"Is that what people look like under the skin?" Sealand wondered aloud. "I'm made of metal, though…"
Throughout the scene, Prussia watched transfixed in horror. Unknowingly he let out various falsetto shrieks. At one point he even grabbed Austria's arm, though he quickly let him go when he realized his action.
Hungary ejected the DVD. "Wasn't it terrifying?"
"It reminded me of Cannibal Holocaust…and not in a good way," France complained.
"Cannibal Holocaust involved cannibals," Romano pointed out, coming to the defense of the Italian film. "That scene is just extreme self-mutilation!"
"I found it artfur," Japan said. When everyone looked at him weird he shrugged. "I must commend the director for researching the human body so thoroughry."
"Did anyone not find that disgusting?" Britain wondered aloud.
"Probably Greece," Spain said, pointing to the country who was sound asleep in his chair. Turkey quickly produced a black marker and began drawing on his face.
Hungary retook her seat. Prussia gaped at her. "Y-Y-You would do that to me?"
Hungary smiled happily at him. "It was a joke. Of course."
"O-Oh…" Prussia looked quite sick.
"I hope it's a joke," Austria mused. "I would never wish that kind of death on anyone, not even Prussia."
Hungary's smile slipped slightly, but she nodded. "I was joking. But maybe you'll think twice about crossing me, hmm?"
Hungary ended up with an even four-hundred points, which suited her just fine because she'd made her point with Prussia. "Next!" America shouted.
"Me!" Poland yelled, jumping to his feet and nearly upon the table. "I, like, totally have the scariest movie!"
"You're pretty enthusiastic about it," Lithuania observed.
"You should be too, Liet! I, like, totally filmed the movie inside your borders!"
Lithuania's face fell. "Wait, you did?"
"Uh huh, like in 1970! I give you guys Lokis!"
"1970?" Russia asked. "But I had control of Lithuania's borders in 1970. I didn't know you filmed a movie there."
Poland glared at him. "I totally don't need your permission to make movies! And this one has, like, werewolves and shit!"
"All right, werewolves!" America shouted.
"You're just going to shout about anything, aren't you?" Britain snapped.
"And I, like, totally had a hand in making the movie!" Poland added over his shoulder. "Back then the government regulated the movie industry and stuff, so I like totallymade the movies!"
But even with Poland's assertion of 'werewolves and shit', the movie proved to be as slow-moving as Asylum. The costumes were nice to look at, though.
"Where's the werewolves?" America asked after twenty minutes.
"They'll be coming up soon. Wait." Poland thought about it. "Is this the one with the werewolves?"
"You don't know?" Britain demanded. "You made this movie!"
"I, like, totally made a lot of movies!" Poland pointed out. "I can't remember all of them!"
"It involves a man believed to be half-animal, because his mother was mauled to death by a bear while she was pregnant with him," Lithuania explained. He added oh-so quietly, "And believed to have been raped by it too…"
"A bear?" Prussia snapped. "That's not a werewolf!"
"Oh sure!" Poland barked. "Like, totally nitpick my totally awesome movie!"
"Awwww, I wanted to see werewolves!" America whined.
"Okay, it's been almost a half-hour into the movie and nothing scary has happened," Britain said. "Why don't we cut it short?"
"Spierdalaj, Britain!" Poland yelled, flipping him the bird.
"Feliks, that's vulgar!" Lithuania scolded.
"Well, I'll give it a hundred for effort," France said, chuckling lightly. "After all, it's based upon the work of a French writer…"
"Oh man!" America yelled, looking at his watch. "This is taking more time than I thought!"
"If you're worried about missing out on trick-or-treating, then why in the hell did you even schedule this?" Britain demanded.
"I'll go next to expedite this whole thing," Germany said, standing up.
"BOO!" Romano yelled. "Zero points!"
"Oh, be quiet!" Prussia demanded. "Our movie kick ass!"
"So what movie will you be showing us, Germany?" America asked. "Nosferatu was made by you, right?"
"No, Dracula was made by Bram Stoker," Britain pointed out. "That movie is a blatant rip-off!"
Germany popped the DVD in. "Der Golem. Or as it's translated, The Golem. A vote within my country shows that this movie is still considered one of the scariest movies ever created from my country."
"Ah, I remember that movie," Austria said thoughtfully. "It did scare a lot of people."
"All RIGHT!" America cheered. "This will be awesome!"
The movie started, and everyone braced themselves for what was surely a terrifying movie.
Only…
"Is something wrong with the sound?" America asked ten minutes into the movie. "I see their mouths moving, and I hear music, but I'm not hearing their voices!"
"This is a silent movie, you git," Britain sighed. "There's no speaking in silent movies. You made plenty of them, remember?"
"This movie SUCKS!" Romano bellowed out. "I'm bored out of my mind!"
Germany gave him an annoyed look. "Come on, this is a terrifying movie! Just wait until the Golem is summoned!"
Romano laughed obnoxiously. "HOW? All this movie has is shitty music and even shittier video quality! Who the fuck was the videographer?"
"It was made in 1915!" Germany snapped, not even trying to be calm. "CGI effects and digital imagery didn't exist back then! Think about the context!"
Italy yawned widely and loudly. When he saw Germany's look he stiffened and laughed awkwardly. "I-It's a great movie, Germany! B-But…" he winced slightly. "The sound—"
"It's a SILENT FILM!"Germany yelled in exasperation. He looked around the room. It was impossible to miss the uninterested and bored faces. "Mein Gott! We've all seen or created silent movies! This is how movies were first made!"
"I'm having a hard time following it," Denmark admitted.
"That's because you're an idiot," Norway said sagely.
"What's this movie really about?" Hungary asked. "I vaguely remember seeing it when it first came out."
"A hero…golem," Canada supplied quietly. "H-He'd been summoned first to protect Jews in Prague, but then he's revived to be the slave of an antique dealer…"
Germany noticed several countries glaring at him and he rolled his eyes. "When this movie first came out, I had nightmares for WEEKS! And it's not easy for me to admit it! Aniki, you saw this movie with me! Isn't—"
His words died in his throat. Prussia was sprawled over the table, fast asleep and snoring.
Germany gaped at him for a moment before he sighed sadly. "Never mind. I withdraw my submission."
"Oh-hohoho!" France quickly jumped to his feet. "Then I shall go next!"
Britain snorted and France shot him a dirty look. "Mon ami, this movie will scare you senseless!"
"It's not a silent movie, is it?" America asked.
"Fickin bastard," Germany grumbled under his breath as he retrieved The Golem.
"Non. It is a bit more modern, but very chilling to the bone." France held up his DVD. "Let me present…Haute Tension."
"High Tension!" America exclaimed its translated title, clapping enthusiastically.
"Isn't that the movie with the lesbians?" South Korea asked eagerly.
France laughed heartily. "Oh-hohoho. Oui oui."
Britain scoffed. "Isn't that the movie that ripped off Dean Koontz's crappy novel?"
France stiffened, but gnashed his teeth. "My version is BETTER!"
"Wow, you're a real big jerk today, Britain!" Sealand pointed out loudly.
"He is just jealous because his movie choice was so poor!" France hissed.
"Asylum is a GREAT movie! How dare you disrespect me?"
France and Britain proceeded, once again, to slap each other.
"Next!" America shouted, once again looking at his watch. Britain and France continued to fight, neither noticing that France was completely skipped.
"Me!" Spain cheered, standing up. He hoisted a small bag onto the table.
"What the hell did you bring?" Romano asked rudely.
Spain laughed obliviously. "Just you see! My choice is the perfect one!"
"So, what is it?" France asked.
"Here's my movie choice." Spain pulled out a DVD case from the bag.
"Let me see that," Romano said, snatching the case from him. He looked at the cover and made a face. "This is Pan's Labyrinth, you idiot! This isn't a scary movie!"
"Oh, I love that movie!" Finland exclaimed. "Can we watch it now?"
Spain looked crestfallen by Romano's words. "Well…if you say so. I also have another one, too." He reached into his bag and pulled out another DVD.
America ran over and took the DVD from him. The title on the front read R.E.C. "Hey, I know this movie! Quarantine!"
Spain looked at him blankly before he shook his head. "Ah, no…"
"No, this is just another movie you copied off of," Britain scoffed in disgust, having broken away from France. "Honestly, can't you invent a story on your own, anymore?"
"Why do you hate me?" America asked for the umpteenth time, looking quite miffed. "Is this because I said your crumpets taste like ass?"
"YOU SAID MY CRUMPETS TASTE LIKE ASS?" Britain screamed. He lunged at America. "You BASTARD!"
"Can we move on?" Austria demanded. "The more of these interludes, the longer we'll all be here!"
"But you guys haven't seen my movie!" Spain complained.
"It sucks, anyways!" Romano said, sticking his tongue out at him.
"Spain gets five hundred points!" Germany yelled. "Now let's move on!"
"But that, like, totally makes him in the lead!" Poland exclaimed.
"His movie is a train wreck compared to mine!" Romano yelled. "How can Suspiria lose that THAT shit?"
"Romano, you're being mean to me!" Spain wailed.
"Just shut up!"
"But we lost?" Italy wailed suddenly. He grabbed Germany by his sleeve and shook it violently. "Germannnnnnnny! How could you?"
Japan slowly stood up, holding a black jewel case. "I wourd rike to go next."
"All right, Japan!" America cheered, clapping his hands. "What movie are you going to show us? The Ring? The Grudge? Dark Water? The Ring?"
"I haven't had time to watch many horror movies ratery," Japan explained. "So I asked a few peopre what they thought was the most frightening thing created by me." He held up the jewel case as he walked over to the television. "Many of them tord me this movie was the worst."
"Oh, I can't wait!" America clapped his hands enthusiastically. "It must be very scary!"
Indeed, the other countries looked very interested in seeing what Japan had selected, given his history for psychological and supernatural horror films. Not even the parental warning that popped up at the beginning seemed to bother anyone.
Then the DVD menu popped up. "Hey, this is an Anime!" America exclaimed happily. "That's awesome!"
Switzerland suddenly quickly sat up in his seat. "W-Wait, WAIT! I know this movie! This is Urotsukidōji!"
Japan looked at him over his shoulder. "Oh, you've seen it?"
Switzerland turned bright red and shook his head. "N-Nein, I've never seen this movie!" but then he grabbed Liechtenstein by the arm and pulled her up from her seat. "You need to leave! Quickly, now!"
"Nii-san, what's the matter?" Liechtenstein asked.
"Urotsukidōji?" America wondered aloud. He folded his arms over his chest and stared at the ceiling. "Why does that sound familiar?"
"It sounds familiar to me, too," Germany admitted sheepishly. "But I can't place where I'd heard it before."
"I myserf haven't seen it yet so I don't know what the prot is," Japan said, setting in subtitles and starting the movie. "But I was tord that it was very scary."
Switzerland quickly hurried out of the room with his sister. The rest of the countries settled down to watch the film.
Unfortunately, within the first three minutes most of them were recoiling.
"There's an awful lot of nudity in this, aru," China said, hovering his sleeved hand over his mouth.
"Cool!" Sealand shouted, even as Sweden mutely covered his eyes.
"H-Hai," Japan said, clearly embarrassed. "I-I apologize, I will turn this off—"
"Nonsense, this is fine!" Prussia yelled. "The plot's picking up!"
"What plot?" Austria demanded. "All we've seen so far is shadows of monsters and naked women!"
"The perfect recipe for an awesome movie!" South Korea cheered.
The remaining younger countries were quickly ushered out of the room at the first showing of female nudity. But, despite Japan's embarrassment nobody wanted to be rude by insulting the movie he'd chosen.
That is, until…
"By God, she just ripped that girl's bloody clothes off!" Britain yelled.
"Ooh, this is becoming quite sexy!" France laughed.
"K-K-K-Kami-sama!" Japan cried out, running for the television. "Gomen nasai, I will—"
Just before he could eject the DVD though, the scene went from bad to…worse than bad.
And soon everyone in the room was screaming. Except for Russia.
"T-That thing just—"
"Right in her—"
"What the fuck is—"
Japan let out various keening exclamations of horror as he was finally able to eject the DVD. Words failed him at this point.
"I remember now!" America wailed, slapping a hand over his eyes. "This is Legend of the Overfiend! Oh God, I got hold of the license for this back in the eighties! Tentacle monsters!"
"What the fuck are tentacle monsters?" Romano demanded. Italy was curled up on the floor in a ball, covering his eyes. "It went…and…poor girl…poor girl…"
"I-It's a genre in hentai—" Germany blurted out, but quickly clammed up.
"GENRE?" most everyone screamed.
"What the bloody hell is wrong with you?" Britain roared, grabbing Japan by his collar. "How could you create such a thing?"
"I didn't know!" Japan choked out. "I-I-I didn't know such a thing existed!"
Lithuania looked pale and sick. "I-I thought I'd seen it all. I was clearly wrong…"
Russia smiled brightly at him. "What do you mean, Lithuania?"
"What the fuck you do, like, think he's talking about?" Poland barked back.
Greece suddenly snapped awake from all the shouting. His face was a mess of designs, thanks to Turkey. On his forehead showed the words 'Ben aptalım'. "Huh? What's happening?"
"Japan just showed his movie," Spain supplied for him.
Greece looked disappointed. "And I missed it?"
"Don't worry, you didn't miss much," Britain complained. "It was quite disgusting and depraved."
"…Really?" Greece thought about it for a moment before he raised his hand. "One hundred points."
"EH?" the other countries were quite horrified at this proclamation.
Greece looked at them in confusion. "What?"
"Two hundred points!" Turkey yelled, raising his hand.
Greece narrowed his eyes. "Two hundred and one points."
"Why does your score even matter? You didn't even watch the movie!"
"You did, and you even bother giving it a score?" Austria demanded.
"…That gives Japan five hundred and one points," America said finally. He looked at his friend. "Looks like you're in the lead!"
Japan said nothing. His expression was pale and very pained. He slowly walked over to a corner and sat down facing it, his limp hand holding the DVD case.
Switzerland abruptly came back in, followed by the other countries. "Is it over?"
"How could you not WARN us of this?" Britain snapped. "If you knew the content, then we all could've lived in ignorance forever of NEVER knowing tentacle monsters!"
"I-I didn't know what was in the movie!" Switzerland stammered.
"Then WHY did you leave?"
"Nii-san, what are tentacle monsters?" Liechtenstein asked naively.
"NOTHING!" everyone shouted.
It took several minutes for everyone to compose themselves. Japan still remained huddled in his corner, with Greece and Turkey alternating between looking at him worriedly and glaring daggers at each other.
"My turn!" Denmark shouted, waving his DVD. "I've got just the thing for you guys!"
"It doesn't have tentacle monsters, does it?" Finland asked wearily.
"No, no! You can't expect something like that from me!"
"Ja, we can," Norway said neutrally.
"You see, even Norge agrees with me!"
"Do you even listen to what he says?" Austria grumbled.
"Here you go!" Denmark happily slapped the movie down on the table in front of America. "I present Nattevagten!"
"I wonder if I've seen this before," America wondered, picking up the DVD.
"It's yet another movie you copied off of," Britain pointed out. "Only you called it Nightwatch."
America's face lit up. "Oh, I know what this is! This is that totally awesome superhero movie!"
"That's Watchmen, you git!"
"Great choice, eh Norge?" Denmark gloated happily.
Norway calmly folded his arms over his chest and sighed. "Why doesn't it surprise me that your movie choice has prostitutes in it?"
"I know! Isn't it great?"
Nattevagten did indeed prove to be a good choice, even for Denmark. There was a lot of gore in the scenes they viewed, but it played heavily on psychological horror.
"Well…that was interesting!" America said. "I give a hundred points!"
"Just a hundred?" Denmark complained. "But it was good enough for you to copy off of! Isn't that right, Norge?"
"Zero points," Norway said flatly.
"ZERO?" Denmark wailed. "Is my movie THAT awful?"
In the end Denmark managed to scrape by with four hundred and seventy-five points, no thanks to Norway.
"All right, who's next?" America cheered.
A DVD slid across the table until it settled in front of America. "Here's my choice."
"You're participating Norway?" Iceland asked.
Norway shrugged. "Since I came this way, I might as well make the trip worth it."
America picked up the DVD. "Død snø?"
"Dead Snow," Norway translated for him.
"Oh wow, that sounds awesome!" America ran over to the television.
"What's your movie about?" Britain asked. "Forgive me for saying, but I don't believe I've seen it."
"Zombies," Norway said.
"ZOMBIES?" America screamed happily. "OH MY GOD, this movie will totally win!"
The intro began to play, and a woman was running through the snow, obviously being chased. "What kind of zombies are they?" America asked, talking through the intro. "Were they summoned by a wizard or is it chemical warfare?"
"Nei," Norway said. "It's Nazi zombies."
Germany stiffened violently, and he felt his face turned red.
Romano laughed loudly and obnoxiously. "The contest is over! Five thousand points! This totally wins!"
"You can't award five thousand points on your own!" Germany shouted.
Romano flipped him the bird. "Try and stop me, potato bastard!"
"Shut up!" Prussia yelled.
"I also award five thousand points!" Denmark cheered, even though Norway had just given him zero points.
"And Norway takes the lead," Britain said quickly. "Next!"
"But I wanted to watch this movie!" America complained.
"…Here." Sweden handed over a DVD.
"Su-san, you're entering?" Finland asked. Sweden shrugged.
America looked at the cover. "Låt den rätte komma in?" He pronounced the title poorly, but thought about it. "Hey, wait! This is Let the Right One In! Kid vampires!"
"-cough-PEDOPHILE!-cough-" Denmark said loudly around a cough. He followed this with a series of more obnoxious coughs. Sweden and Norway glared at him.
"All right, let's put this in!" America hollered running back over to the television. "Which scene did you want to show?"
"The finale," Sweden said blandly.
"Wait that spoils the movie!"
Sweden shrugged.
So they showed the finale, when the boy protagonist was in the process of being drowned by his human tormentors. Because children were involved in the scene, it was quite a stomach-turner.
Of course, it didn't exactly help matters when the would-be murderer's severed arm sank into the pool.
"...Wow," Britain said after the boy got out of the pool and saw the carnage around it. "That girl really gave it to them, didn't she?"
"Where are the vampires?" America asked.
"Um, who do you think killed those kids?" Finland asked.
"Booooooo, boring!" Denmark yelled.
"Just be quiet," Norway sighed, rubbing his forehead.
"I don't get it," Iceland said. "How can it be boring when it wasn't even five minutes long?"
"I give it one hundred points!" America shouted.
"Good, let's move on!" Britain said quickly.
"But we didn't finish the vote!" Finland protested.
"...I don't care," Sweden said quietly.
"But I did BETTER than you!" Denmark taunted, reaching over to pinch Sweden's cheek.
"But his was the better movie," Norway said.
"All right, who has the time?" Britain demanded. "I feel like we've been here for hours!"
"It's quarter to six, Eastern time," Canada said, checking his phone.
"Oh man, we have to hurry!" America complained. "How many other people have movies to present?"
Six people raised their hands, but South Korea jumped to his feet. "I'll go next!"
"Ooh!" America perked up. "Did you bring The Host? Please tell me you brought that!"
South Korea waved his hand. "Nah, I have something more terrifying!"
"...More terrifying than a tadpole monster?"
"There's more to scary movies than monsters!" Britain snapped. "If you would understand that, then you would see the brilliance in MY movie!"
"My movie is Telmisseomding! Or as you would call it, Tell Me Something!" South Korea skipped over to the television. "There's blood and guts in it, too!"
This perked America up once more. South Korea put the DVD in and went straight to the opening scene, showing a bunch of people in a crowded elevator, with a solitary black garbage in the corner. When a child deliberately rolled over the bag, chaos ensued.
"Oh, his head popped out!" America laughed. He nudged Canada with his elbow. "Did you see that?"
"...How could I miss it?" Canada asked quietly, burying his face into the back of Kumajirou's head.
"Wow, that's..." Britain trailed off at the panic in the movie. "Wow."
South Korea grinned happily. "Kamsamnida. I made an awesomely gross horror movie, and I didn't need tentacle monsters!"
Japan twitched in his corner.
Points were quickly tabulated and South Korea got about one thousand points. It wasn't enough to match Norway, but nobody cared. "All right, who's next?" America said.
"I have a movie."
Everyone jumped and turned to look at Hong Kong. He stared back at them placidly as he stood up. "Is it a frightening one?" America asked eagerly.
Hong Kong nodded. "The worst. One that will make you lose faith in humanity."
"...Really?" Britain asked worriedly.
"Oh my God, EXCELLENT!" America cheered. "Put it in!"
"I would recommend that the younger countries leave," Hong Kong said suddenly. "This movie isn't appropriate for them."
"Have any of these movies been appropriate?" France wondered to himself.
"But that makes me want to see it more!" Sealand complained.
"Wait a minute, aru," China said. "Wouldn't this movie count as one of MY movies, aru?"
Hong Kong narrowed his eyes. "It was based in my territory. So it's mine."
"But you ARE my territory, aru!"
Hong Kong ignored him and walked over to the television.
"So, what's the name of your movie?" Taiwan asked. She held onto her own movie.
"Ebola Syndrome."
The color drained from China's face and he ducked his head. "Never mind, aru. I want no claim over this."
"Why not?" Britain asked.
But he quickly got his answer once the movie started. They all did. Thankfully they'd abided to Hong Kong's request and the younger countries had been shifted out of there.
"Oh, my God," America said quietly, his voice full of horror.
The other countries reactions weren't any better.
"Did he just—"
"Why is he—"
"No, no, no—"
Hong Kong observed the horrified reactions in the countries neutrally. Although, he wasn't quite looking at the television either
"So...let me get this straight," Britain said after the scene played. "H-He just...raped a dying woman, contracted Ebola, gave it to his boss and then killed him, and then served his diseased body as meat to people?"
"Correct," Hong Kong said, retrieving the DVD.
Everyone gaped at him, and then gaped at each other. A collective shudder overtook the assembly, and many countries looked nauseated.
"This is...worse than the tentacle monsters, if I might say so," Germany said painfully.
"Uh...does anyone else want to go?" America asked meekly. The showing of this movie seemed to take the fun out of this whole gathering. He checked his watch again and sighed shortly. "Then it looks like Hong Kong has—"
"But wait." Everyone cringed as Russia stood up. "I did not present my movie yet."
"Is yours worse than Ebola Syndrome?" Britain asked.
"Of course not," Russia said. "My movie is much better."
Everyone seemed to hold their breath as Russia calmly walked over to the television. He turned around briefly to hold up his movie. "Here is my movie…Mama."
All of the Baltics 'eeped' at once and began shivering. A feeling of dread settled over the other countries as Russia inserted his DVD in. What sort of horror movie would Russia show them? And with a name like Mama?
The intro began to play, and cheerful music flooded the room. Everyone carefully watched the scene before them, waiting for the shoe to drop.
Only…
"Wait a minute," America said after a minute. "What kind of movie is this? This is just showing people getting costumes on!"
"But this is my favorite movie," Russia said brightly. "I watched it many times when it first came out!"
Lithuania twitched indiscreetly, and Poland glared at Russia.
"But this doesn't look like a horror movie!" Britain protested. "With the setup and happy music…this is a KIDS movie, isn't it?"
Russia looked confused by the question. "Of course it's not a horror movie. Horror movies give me nightmares."
"Oh, my goodness!" Ukraine cheered, jumping up suddenly. "I do remember this movie! Oh, it's so sweet and the songs are so catchy! I haven't seen this in nearly thirty years!"
"…Sweet? Catchy songs?" Germany asked slowly. "And this is Russia's favorite movie?"
"…He built a home theater in the house," Latvia whimpered. "Just for this one movie…"
And the winner is…
"All right," America said sheepishly. "Russia totally wins the scary movie contest."
Russia was seated in front of the large television, watching Mama and happily singing along with the music. Ukraine and Belarus sat on either side of him.
"I feel like this was a total waste of time," Britain groaned, hiding his face in his hand.
America looked at his watch again and quickly up. "All right, thank you all for participating! Now if you'll excuse me…" He pulled out a huge round shield that had been slung over the back of his seat. It was decorated with his flag's design. "I must go trick-or-treating!"
"W-Wait!" Canada called softly as America ran from the room. "Kumimaiji and I would like to go trick-or-treating too!"
"Who are you?" Kumajirou asked him.
"I'm C-Canada!" Canada ran after his brother.
"I wanna go trick-or-treating too!" Sealand announced.
"Well…it's been a while since we've been to America's house," Finland said. "Why don't we go now?"
"…Sure," Sweden said.
"HEY!" Denmark quickly ran over to them. "If you guys are going trick-or-treating, Norge and I will come too!"
"I won't go," Norway said flatly.
"You see, we'll all have fun!"
Sweden looked less than pleased.
Poland looked at everyone around him and stood. "Well…I guess I'll go too." In a flash he ripped his suit off, revealing a pale green fairy costume underneath. "Let's go, Liet!"
Lithuania gaped at him as he shrugged on a pair of glittery wings. "W-Wha…was you wearing that under your clothes this whole time?"
"I always do, Liet!" Poland told him.
"Oh-hohoho!" France laughed, coming over to observe the costume. "As usual you have perfect taste, Poland!"
"Hey, I want to go trick-or-treating at America's house!" Italy complained loudly.
"Idiota, we don't have costumes," Romano sighed. "And we are surrounded by more idiots. Awarding it to some shitty kid movie…"
A hand clamped down on Romano's shoulder. "Do not worry tomate pequeño. I know how to help you."
Romano glared at Spain. "How? And I told you not to call me that, bastardo!"
Spain chuckled slightly. "I have just the costume for you both!" He pulled out a green dress and apron out from out of nowhere. "For you, Veneziano!"
Italy's face lit up and he grabbed the dress. "Oh, this looks just like the one I use to wear!" He showed it to Germany. "Isn't this magnifico, Germany?"
Germany looked at it with mild disgust. "It's a dress, Italy."
"And it will look soooooooooooooooooo cute on him!" Prussia laughed.
"Why did you give that to him?" Romano demanded.
"Oh, I have one just for you too, Romano!" Spain proceeded to pull out the pink dress of doom. This was basically the same as Italy's outfit, only it was pink.
Romano screamed, although he would later deny he shrilled like a little girl. "Give me that! Where the fuck did you get this, HUH?"
"Oh, but I'm going as a pirate!" Spain revealed his pirate costume, which apparently he'd been wearing underneath his own suit but nobody had noticed him disrobe. "I am quite atractivo, no?"
"For the final time, I DON'T UNDERSTAND SPANISH!"
"But your two languages are practically the same," Germany pointed out unhelpfully. "How could you not understand him?"
Japan was still huddled in his corner, clearly traumatized by the movie he'd presented.
"Japan…" France knelt down beside him and patted his shoulder. "May I ask you something?"
"…Nani?" Japan said mournfully.
"I-I didn't have the nerve before, but…" France produced a small card and handed it to Japan. "Can you get me Shigeo Tokuda's autograph?"
Japan gaped at him, horrified. France smiled a little. "I am a fan of his work…and his tenacity."
Japan was still gaping in horror after France left him. He looked down at the card. "I just wanted to watch movies…"
"Japan." Greece sat down beside him, offering a white kitten. "Don't be upset. We all have skeletons in our closet, so we can't judge each other."
"Do any of your movies have tentacre monsters?" Japan asked.
"Tentacle monsters?" Greece blinked slowly and thought about it. "So…you brought Urotsukidōji?"
"You know what it is?" Japan cried out.
"Well…I rented the video back in the eighties one time when I visited you. I didn't understand it, but…" Greece shrugged slightly. "The series creator only used them to get around censorship laws in your country, but by the fourth OVA it was obvious—"
"FOURTH?" Japan wailed. "Kami-sama, this is a genre!"
"If it makes you feel better, some of my country's most famous scholars had sex with children," Greece said bluntly.
"Wait, nani? Really?"
"HEY!" Turkey stormed over to them. "What do you think you're doing?"
Greece narrowed his eyes. "I was talking to Japan. What's wrong with that?"
"A dirty little pervert like you doesn't have the RIGHT to comfort him!" Turkey grabbed Greece by his arm and tried to pull him up. "Now go away! GO AWAY!"
"I'm a dirty little pervert?" Greece asked calmly. "I seem to recall being raised in one of your harems when you occupied my territory. And I seem to further recall that I was a child when this happened!"
"You little brat!" Turkey grabbed him by his collar. "I saved your ass after the fall of the Roman Empire! And this is the thanks I get?"
"You also killed thousands of my people. How can I be thankful?"
"You killed plenty of mine, too!"
"H-Hey…" Japan was once again in a position to break up this fight. "Ret's just ret it go, okay? I want to go trick-or-treating at America's house and forget this day ever happened…"
Turkey huffed, but let Greece go. "I shall join you once I find a costume. Greece won't need one though, since his face is pretty frightening!"
"You…" Before Greece could continue, he rubbed his fingers over his cheeks. The marks on his face smeared on his fingers and he looked at them in confusion. "What?"
"O-Oh, um…" Japan looked uncomfortable. "Y-You have markings on your face, Greece-san."
Greece pulled out a mirror and looked at him. Turkey took that opportunity to slip away as the other country exploded in mild fury. "You drew on my face? Kariolis!"
And so the countries enjoyed the rest of Halloween, either by joining the craziness at America's house, or returning home wondering why they'd even come in the first place.
I apologize for the poor quality of this fanfic. I don't know why I made Britain such a little turd here, but I hope you don't mind.
You can find clips of almost all of these movies on YouTube and Daily Motion. Yes, even Urotsukidōji, as horrifying as that sounds. Here are some other minor notes:
- Russia's movie Mama is in fact a real children's musical movie released in the 1970s. It was imported to America and released as Rock and Roll Wolf. You can also view clips of this movie on YouTube. Here's a link to a random section of the Russian version of the movie (without the spaces): h t t p : / / w w w . y o u t u b e . c o m / w a t c h ? v = 2 Z 9 X G –n k g N Q & f e a t u r e = r e l a t e d. Try and imagine Russia watching this movie
- Shigeo Tokuda is the world's oldest porn star, at 76 years old. And he's from Japan (lol!).
I hoped you enjoyed this story nonetheless. Happy Halloween!