knew that eventually I would have to face this fate, but in the back of my mind I still didn't want to believe that he would really be gone some day. He fought, and he made it longer than expected, he made it eight months. Then three days ago, he lost the battle. He went peacefully after a large dose of Morphine. He told me to do it, but in the end it was me killing him, and I even said that, but he disagreed.
" House, you're saving me."I nodded and upped the Morphine dosage. I will always remember those final words. Then he he drifted off to a deep sleep, and then his chest stopped moving. Gone. I got up and left the hospital room, and went home.
When I walked into the door I just lost it and for the first time in a year, I cried. My only reason for staying alive is gone, now I have nothing. I don't even exist, Gregory House is dead. I'm nobody.
" House, you're saving me."All I can think about is how many times James Wilson has saved me. There were too many, too many to count. Every time I needed him he was there, and he always had a solution for my problems. Now there is no one who is on my side, they all think I'm dead.
Cuddy.That was one thing that came up a lot in Wilson's conversations these last few months. Apparently she is married, with a baby on the way. When he told me I pretended that it didn't matter to me, but deep down it hurt like his words stabbed me in the heart.
I always thought that Lisa Cuddy and I would make up and live happily ever after, but now I know that can never happen. She is with another man, and having his baby. Ever since I met her almost 30 years ago I knew that I had found something special. I knew that she was worth my all, but through the years I hid my feelings afraid of rejection but then almost two years ago everything changed. She and I admitted our love for eachother, and after that I thought I was complete. For months I managed to let myself be happy instead of worrying, but as soon as I stopped worrying, everything fell apart. I thought she was going to die,especially when I saw the lung x-ray. It was just too much to handle, so I took the pills only once, just to take the edge off. Then she found out. I ruined us.
Ever since that day I have never felt the same, I feel like a piece of me is gone, and now I know I'll never find it again.
After I saw her in her dining room with that guy I lost it. I just couldn't understand how she could move on so quickly. So I wanted to destroy something of her's, since she destroyed me.
After it happened I didn't regret it until later on, until I realized that now I wouldn't have a chance to get her back. Then I just had myself, no one was on my side.
I'm in the same position now. I am on my own. Wilson's gone, Cuddy is now unable to be mine again, so I have nothing to live for.
The pills should be kicking in any minute now. The corner is gonna have fun with this one. According to everyone else, Gregory House is already dead.