"Fuck, why does he want me to come over today, I've got that fucking science project to do because my group is lazy dickholes.." Craig muttered angrily as he jogged towards Clyde's house. His hoodie was drawn up over his hat because tiny snow flakes were whirling about him. It wasn't like this was a walk in the spring. If it were anyone else besides Clyde, Craig wouldn't have bothered - but Clyde...things were getting serious. He couldn't tell if it was bromance aging or something more...emerging. But he really wanted to find out. Maybe it hit Clyde today, and that's why he wanted Craig to come over. Maybe he was finally going to admit he wanted something else. ...the thought made Craig's anger lessen, and he smiled as he knocked on the door instead of his normal pounding.

The door creaked open and Clyde was on the other side, still in his pajamas.

"What's the emergency?" Craig asked, his curiosity winning. Obviously it was important enough for Clyde to call him over before 10AM, and he looked pretty damn serious.

"Something." Clyde said with an utmost serious tone, his expression showing little foolery as he waved Craig inside and motioned him to follow him up the steps to his bedroom. Once inside, he turned to Craig. "Craig. I have a secret. I've got to tell someone."

"...yeah?" Craig said, his heart racing in his chest. He berated himself in his head, Clyde probably just found another fry in the bottom of his taco bell drink, and another 'but how did a fry get at Taco Bell' conversation would ensue.

"It's serious, bro. I mean, it's more serious then the fry at the bottom of my drink from Taco Bell." He leaned against his computer desk chair.

"...yeah, what is it?" Craig narrowed his eyes, wondering if Clyde was just throwing him through a loop.

"I've hit the top of sex god and I can't go back."

"...what." Craig responded apathetically, realizing it was just another one of those days. Fucking Donovan...

"No, I'm serious. French philosophers like only could hypothesis this, okay. It's like more archaic and all-knowing then the Kamasutra, okay. I have completed the impossible."

"What did you do, Clyde." Craig said with a sigh.

Clyde stared at Craig, and then his hands slowly looped around his own pants and he started pulling down his pants. Craig's eyes widened as he watched his bro drop his pants to the floor.

"Clyde...?"

"Just watch, Craig." Clyde said with a serious tone as he slowly bent down, the top of his body looping through his legs, so his face was suddenly nestled between his own buttcheeks and near his dick. He had effectively bent over into a human pretezel. His hands were securely on his well built thighs.

"...Clyde."

Clyde tried responding, but it was muffled.

Craig's expression was one of abject horror at first, and then he said stoically, "...this is oddly fucking arousing, oh my god...what the fuck are you doing, giving yourself a self-blow-job?"

Clyde moved back to standing position, a bit sweaty. "I've found it, Craig. I'm so sexy, I don't even need someone else to give me a blow job. I can do it myself."

Craig glared at his friend, his hands clenching in his pockets as he looked bitterly at the wall. "I'd like to see you figure out how to fuck yourself in the butt too then."

Clyde grinned, "Well, actually..."

END