Hey guys I know Beginnings isn't finished but I decided to do a one-shot (On Your MOM! Lol JK) for a Christmas story so yeah Merry Christmas. I've decided to put a whole bunch of themes into this one because it's going to be extremely and utterly stupid so have fun trying to get through all of it. MUHAHAHA! Lovely now let's get started shall we? =) BTW Anything mentioned in here are not mine except for the ideas and how it's used to make something really stupid. SOZ DON'TZ SUEZ MEZ BECAUSEZ THATZ NOTZ GOODZ FORZ BUSINESSZ. Lol
It was a boring day at the hangout for three Dead Sexy Jedi Ninja Assassins. They all played the hell out of Halo: Reach and Call of Duty Black Ops Nazi Zombies. It seemed that the only thing that would make their day interesting was riding a five-hundred story pony covered in chainsaws.
"Guys what should we do? We've already had tons of sex with whomever we may have chosen but still this day will not just end!." A six foot two inch gray fox stated in anger. This particular Vulpine had black tips on his ears and tail, his eyes were as green as emeralds. His hair on his head was a medium length and like his tail was black, it really made him handsome and attractive to any woman with a brain. The wore his favorite black army vest and black and white cameo pants and black metal combat boots, he was ready to kick some ass.
"I don't know we've had about everything done. The tree is set up gifts have been given to friends and relatives, we honestly have nothing better to do." An arctic fox with brown eyes said trying to calm the other gray fox. The white fox was a decent size build
A black fox spoke "I know! Let's volunteer at the homeless shelter!" his voice as sincere as possible. He was wearing a Metallica shirt with all members wearing Santa outfits back when Jason was still in the band, wearing dark blue pants with a chain hanging off the side. His hands were covered by fingerless gloves with the studs on the opposite side of the palms so if someone were to get nailed in the face it would scratch it up said face. His eyes were as blue as the deepest ocean.
The other two vulpines jumped up happily both shouting "YEAH!" they ran to the door lining up side by side.
"Alright you know the rules right guys?" the arctic fox queried already knowing the answer
"Hell yessums Whitefur how could we forget we made them up ourselves and signed a contract written in blood containing trace amounts of cocaine and urine." the black fox answered
Both of em looked at him in complete disgust the gray fox decided to remind the black one of what really happened "Come on Wombo its been written in history it wasn't cocaine and urine in our blood at the time," he paused for a moment "It was hooker spit and for some reason horse semen... Man that was a fucked up night." They all nodded their heads in remembrance of that night.. Man you should have been there. Anyway after they were done talking about the past they decided to get back to their race that they were going to do.
"Tyronos would you like the honor of counting down?" Whitefur offered
He nodded and looked forward with a determined look and started counting down "Three..."
Whitefur and Wombo nodded towards each other agreeing to a friendly competition between friends then looked forward down the hallway that would lead to the hallway where their cars were parked. Tyronos continued "Two..." he took a deep breath in and waited for dramatic effect. Then "ONE! GO!" They took off running down the hallway equally keeping up each others pace neither of the three gaining any ground on the other two. They hauled ass turning left booking it through the living room. Whitefur decided to take a chance by jumping over the couch to gain a good lead on them both. He jumped and thought to himself 'THEY GOT NOTHING ON ME! OH SHIT!' he fell flat on his face as his foot caught on to the couch and he fell flat on his face. He was able to notice the other two vulpines turning a corner and making their way toward the garage.
"GET OUT OF MY WAY FAGGOT!"
"NEVER YOU COCKSHINER!" with his insult he tripped Wombo who fell forward but rolled and actually gained a lead on the other vulpine. "FUCK YOU WOMBO!" he only laughed as he went faster, but Tyronos was right on his tail. He tried to grab his tail in order to gain the lead but Wombo's tail went a different way which confused him but he soon understood why because he just ran right into the wall face first. "AW! Why does it always have to be my nose?"
Wombo looked behind him and saw Tyronos standing their trying to fix his nose, he laughed at him. Then he took it a little easier on his run to the garage. But he noticed a white blur, he realized it was Whitefur who had caught up and was in the lead now. He ran full speed now he turned the corner and ran after the arctic vulpine. But it was hopeless, Whitefur had already won. With a smirk of satisfaction he turned around and shouted in glee "I WON! YES!"
Wombo a little sore about his loss but nevertheless glad that he redeemed himself for blunder from earlier and won the race. They heard Ty coming down the hallway running full speed he stopped at the door panting for breath. "You guys... Fuggin.. Suck ass.." Whitefur and Wombo looked at him slightly baffled at how he was out of breath, but then they remembered that getting jobs was hard. Especially with StarFox around. They were all good friends but it seemed the public enjoyed them more than our good friends. It may be because that StarFox is a bit more appealing. Whatever the case was it was usually handled by StarFox, they had to get "Normal" jobs to cover costs of living the luxurious life they had or something like that. They all worked for the C.I.A investigating terrorists. They were investigating a case involving a high time terrorist called Derka-Derka who may have been planning something big but the chief made them stop the investigation to enjoy the holidays. They didn't think that much of it and accepted his generous offer.
Whitefur laughed at Tyronos for being lazy and not being able to run a short amount of land and not being out of breath. "What? At least I didn't fall on my face trying to jump over the couch." Ty retorted, Whitefur then shut his mouth.
Wombo decided to make things better by starting up the car. It was beautiful. The car was handed down to them by their fathers who were all once good friends and made that car from scratch. They put their souls into that car which made it go faster but now they weren't that fun of people to be with. But the car was just the definition of awesome. It was a stationwagon. But not just any stationwagon.. No.. This thing had a V32 engine for some reason and was equipped with machine gun rockets... That's right.. Machine gun rockets. It was straight up black with red pinstripes going across the sides.. Think of it like the A-Team's van.. Except it's a stationwagon. He turned on the stereo which was louder than whatever you played in it live. In Flames song Crawl Through Knives was playing.
"COME ON GET IN THE WAGON!" Wombo yelled over the speakers. He would turn down the volume but that would turn off the music but the song is just so awesome that it would be stupid. Ty and Whitefur quickly went in Ty riding shotgun and Whitefur in the middle of the back. The garage doors opened and Wombo sped off to go help the homeless with their food and hopefully some joy as well.
Sweet First Chapter of this ridiculous story. I want to know what you guys think and let me know if I should keep it. I'm going to post this first chapter up just because.. You know because I want to see if people think it's a hilarious story or an insult to anything good or pure by fucking up CHRISTMAS! So Rate and Review.