Title: No one's Hero
Author: Chase
Disclaimers: I own Chase, that's it
The rain fell steadily outside. Quiet patterns that beckoned her to be lulled to sleep, but sleep didn't come when the rain fell. Sleep brought nightmares when the rain fell.
The young woman that had formally been known as Chase Yuy glanced at the phone. She wanted to call Anna-chan. "Is it raining there too?" she whispered into the darkness of her room. "Are you crying tonight too or have you been able to move past it?"
Notice me
Take my hand
Why are we
Strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?
Four years had passed since Chase and Anna had returned "home." The formally green eyed pilot laughed humorlessly as she watched a candle's light dance its captivating dance. "I would have been married by now," she whispered to it. "Is that crazy, to believe in something like that?"
Maybe she was crazy. She'd thought of that for a while now. Anna and she had grown a bit more distant in the last couple of years and the younger girl had played with the idea that maybe she'd imagined it all on her own. Perhaps the trip to Heero and Duo's world had been nothing but a figment of her imagination that Anna had humored her on for a while after she'd come up with it, and then grown tired of it.
"But Anna-chan still speaks of it occasionally," she reminded herself.
"But only when she wants to," a voice in her head said. "When you bring it up, some days, she doesn't want to talk about it."
"That's natural," she argued. "She's still grieving, just like I am."
"Still grieving over what?" the voice scoffed. "An illusion? A figment that she has made up because she is a lonely child with no friends and her family believes she's on the edge of insanity. They're right, you know, but what they don't know is you have crossed that border long ago."
Chase sniffled where she sat on her bed, her eyes still staring aimlessly at the dancing flame. "I'm not crazy," she whispered. "Heero loved me. That's not crazy."
Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby
"But it IS crazy," the voice argued. "Listen to yourself. You're convinced you're in love with a man that never existed! Just stop a minute and think."
"But he did exist," Chase whispered. "Heero loved me and I loved him. We were... we were happy."
"You were lost," the voice laughed. "Completely off your rocker, like you are now. What you need, my dear, is a padded cell with a nice tight strait jacket."
"I'm not crazy."
"Yeah, try telling that to a shrink, we'll see what they say." The voice laughed again. "'Yes sir, I was married at seventeen and that was eleven years ago. Yes sir, I'm eighteen now, but I was sent to another world!' How does that sound, m'dear? Sane to the average person?"
"He was there," Chase said again. "He loved me. Heero loved me and he was real."
I make believe
That you are here
It's the only way
I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy
"You keep telling yourself that. Better yet, go tell your parents that. I'm sure they'd LOVE to hear you say that."
"Mom and Daddy would never understand," Chase whispered, hands wiping tears away from her eyes. "They didn't live it. They wouldn't know. Just like no one at school knew. They never knew. I'm not crazy. I fell in love. Everyone falls in love."
"You're insane! You're downright sertifiable. Heero Yuy never existed!"
"HE DID!" Chase screamed, but then covered her mouth, realizing that she had probably woken her parents.
Every time I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
Everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby
When no one came Chase curled herself up on her bed. "Heero, tell him," she begged into the darkness. "Tell him that you loved me."
The voice laughed. "He's not answering, is he? Face up to it, girl. There never was and never will be a Heero Yuy. No hero to sweep you off your feet."
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "Gomen nasai.... Gomen nasai... Heero-chan, ai shittaru. Suimasan, Heero-chan. I don't want..."
I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song is my sorry
At night I pray
That soon your face
Will fade away
"To forget?" the voice mocked.
To forget Heero would be less painful, she allowed that much. To forget Heero, though, would be to admit she was insane. To forget Heero would be to move past him and to say she never loved him. To forget Heero, would be to allow Chase Yuy – who she had become – to die from the long sustained wounds of that final battle. To forget Heero....
This was the time in her life she wished that she believed in ghosts. She would watch for his figure haunting her. It would be comforting some how. She wasn't sure how, but it would be.
To forget Heero, would to give in to her selfish desires for peace. When had a Gundam pilot ever deserved peace?
The former pilot stood and walked over to her closet. From it she pulled an old leather bound notebook and dusted it off. She opened it and out fell a pair of cross earrings and a necklace. Stuffed into the pocket was a picture. It was tattered and worn from nights like this where she had pulled it out and looked at it. Holding it. Longing for the people in the picture. Regretting that her depression had driven her to leave her family behind.
She ran a small thumb over the picture. She and Anna had been front and center, Heero and Duo on either side, Quatre in the middle behind them. Wufei, Trowa and Ryuujin were behind the two couples in front, on either side of the Desert Prince. They were standing by the small pond. Chase laughed despite herself.
"I love you," she whispered. "I love you so much, but I have to let you go or I'll never live."
Chase stepped over to the burning candle and let the flames consume the picture. All proof in her mind was gone. It was all just in her mind now. A wild tale that she and her closest friend had created out of boredom and far too much imagination. It was nothing more than that. That thought in mind she snuffed out the candle. Chase Yuy did not sleep that night, because Chase Yuy did not live that night. She died in a way, or was put into a dormant sleep, but the young woman that she had been slept better than ever.
Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby
In another world in another time, Heero Yuy stirred, a horrifying
dream awakening him. "Chase-chan...." And the perfect soldier cried.
A/N: This was a bit strange, I know, but this was my idea of "what if
Chase went just a bit looney after she didn't forget what happened.
This is the TIME AND TIME AGAIN timeline b/c she remembers. Enjoy
Author: Chase
Disclaimers: I own Chase, that's it
The rain fell steadily outside. Quiet patterns that beckoned her to be lulled to sleep, but sleep didn't come when the rain fell. Sleep brought nightmares when the rain fell.
The young woman that had formally been known as Chase Yuy glanced at the phone. She wanted to call Anna-chan. "Is it raining there too?" she whispered into the darkness of her room. "Are you crying tonight too or have you been able to move past it?"
Notice me
Take my hand
Why are we
Strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?
Four years had passed since Chase and Anna had returned "home." The formally green eyed pilot laughed humorlessly as she watched a candle's light dance its captivating dance. "I would have been married by now," she whispered to it. "Is that crazy, to believe in something like that?"
Maybe she was crazy. She'd thought of that for a while now. Anna and she had grown a bit more distant in the last couple of years and the younger girl had played with the idea that maybe she'd imagined it all on her own. Perhaps the trip to Heero and Duo's world had been nothing but a figment of her imagination that Anna had humored her on for a while after she'd come up with it, and then grown tired of it.
"But Anna-chan still speaks of it occasionally," she reminded herself.
"But only when she wants to," a voice in her head said. "When you bring it up, some days, she doesn't want to talk about it."
"That's natural," she argued. "She's still grieving, just like I am."
"Still grieving over what?" the voice scoffed. "An illusion? A figment that she has made up because she is a lonely child with no friends and her family believes she's on the edge of insanity. They're right, you know, but what they don't know is you have crossed that border long ago."
Chase sniffled where she sat on her bed, her eyes still staring aimlessly at the dancing flame. "I'm not crazy," she whispered. "Heero loved me. That's not crazy."
Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby
"But it IS crazy," the voice argued. "Listen to yourself. You're convinced you're in love with a man that never existed! Just stop a minute and think."
"But he did exist," Chase whispered. "Heero loved me and I loved him. We were... we were happy."
"You were lost," the voice laughed. "Completely off your rocker, like you are now. What you need, my dear, is a padded cell with a nice tight strait jacket."
"I'm not crazy."
"Yeah, try telling that to a shrink, we'll see what they say." The voice laughed again. "'Yes sir, I was married at seventeen and that was eleven years ago. Yes sir, I'm eighteen now, but I was sent to another world!' How does that sound, m'dear? Sane to the average person?"
"He was there," Chase said again. "He loved me. Heero loved me and he was real."
I make believe
That you are here
It's the only way
I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy
"You keep telling yourself that. Better yet, go tell your parents that. I'm sure they'd LOVE to hear you say that."
"Mom and Daddy would never understand," Chase whispered, hands wiping tears away from her eyes. "They didn't live it. They wouldn't know. Just like no one at school knew. They never knew. I'm not crazy. I fell in love. Everyone falls in love."
"You're insane! You're downright sertifiable. Heero Yuy never existed!"
"HE DID!" Chase screamed, but then covered her mouth, realizing that she had probably woken her parents.
Every time I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
Everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby
When no one came Chase curled herself up on her bed. "Heero, tell him," she begged into the darkness. "Tell him that you loved me."
The voice laughed. "He's not answering, is he? Face up to it, girl. There never was and never will be a Heero Yuy. No hero to sweep you off your feet."
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "Gomen nasai.... Gomen nasai... Heero-chan, ai shittaru. Suimasan, Heero-chan. I don't want..."
I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song is my sorry
At night I pray
That soon your face
Will fade away
"To forget?" the voice mocked.
To forget Heero would be less painful, she allowed that much. To forget Heero, though, would be to admit she was insane. To forget Heero would be to move past him and to say she never loved him. To forget Heero, would be to allow Chase Yuy – who she had become – to die from the long sustained wounds of that final battle. To forget Heero....
This was the time in her life she wished that she believed in ghosts. She would watch for his figure haunting her. It would be comforting some how. She wasn't sure how, but it would be.
To forget Heero, would to give in to her selfish desires for peace. When had a Gundam pilot ever deserved peace?
The former pilot stood and walked over to her closet. From it she pulled an old leather bound notebook and dusted it off. She opened it and out fell a pair of cross earrings and a necklace. Stuffed into the pocket was a picture. It was tattered and worn from nights like this where she had pulled it out and looked at it. Holding it. Longing for the people in the picture. Regretting that her depression had driven her to leave her family behind.
She ran a small thumb over the picture. She and Anna had been front and center, Heero and Duo on either side, Quatre in the middle behind them. Wufei, Trowa and Ryuujin were behind the two couples in front, on either side of the Desert Prince. They were standing by the small pond. Chase laughed despite herself.
"I love you," she whispered. "I love you so much, but I have to let you go or I'll never live."
Chase stepped over to the burning candle and let the flames consume the picture. All proof in her mind was gone. It was all just in her mind now. A wild tale that she and her closest friend had created out of boredom and far too much imagination. It was nothing more than that. That thought in mind she snuffed out the candle. Chase Yuy did not sleep that night, because Chase Yuy did not live that night. She died in a way, or was put into a dormant sleep, but the young woman that she had been slept better than ever.
Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby
In another world in another time, Heero Yuy stirred, a horrifying
dream awakening him. "Chase-chan...." And the perfect soldier cried.
A/N: This was a bit strange, I know, but this was my idea of "what if
Chase went just a bit looney after she didn't forget what happened.
This is the TIME AND TIME AGAIN timeline b/c she remembers. Enjoy